Chit Chat

Did you do anything that others would think is weird?

I have a few things that I am doing that it took some family members a second to get on bored with. One being that my bridesmaids will not wear matching dresses. Honestly, it's just not a priority, and my girls were so excited that they get to stand with me as bridesmaids while wearing any dress they want. They will have matching bouquets and everything, but I'll be paying for those so I think it just makes it so much easier. My family is now on board with the idea. Another thing not everyone loves is that my boyfriend will have pink and black hair (totally normal for him, but his family was hoping he would have a natural color for this day). These things hurt no one, but some people had strong opinions. My question is, did you have anything you chose that others are not loving so much? It really doesn't bother me that some people don't like all my ideas, since they aren't inconveniencing anyone. It's not like I'm asking them to stand on one foot for my whole ceremony because I think the pictures would be cool.
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Re: Did you do anything that others would think is weird?

  • iPad won't acknowledge my paragraphs.
  • beach wedding
    DH not wearing a tux
    Guys in flip-flops
    not demanding hair style, nail color, shoes or jewelry for BMs
    Sat with my nieces and nephews during dinner
    not having a Catholic wedding







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    lc07jenna8984
  • Well, as I've posted about previously, DH's BSC PITA grandmother wasn't happy about the fact it was a Catholic Mass. And she was very, very, VERY vocal about that dislike and disapproval. Frequently. Loudly. Obnoxiously.

    I eventually said, 'Well, you can like it, or not. If you like it, come. If you don't like it, don't come. It's no difference to me, although DH would like to have you there.'

    That eventually shut her up (along with DH telling her that if she didn't, he wasn't going to tell her when and where it was, so she'd miss it entirely). 

    But yes -- people will always offer their opinions, whether you want them or not, whether you asked for them or not, whether you invited them or not, whether they're paying or not, etc. 

    As long as you're not breaking any etiquette rules, take comfort in that, and just ignore the rest of it like so much white noise.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    MollyandDlc07pumpkinsandturkeysjenna8984
  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2014
    I'm not sure anyone thought what I did was weird but it isn't the norm for weddings in my area. 

    We put on our invites that our ceremony was scheduled to begin at 4:30 but guests were welcome to join us for cocktails before hand at 4 pm. My H and I were there to greet people as they arrived to the ceremony (we did all of our pictures in advance). I didn't need/want a big walk down the aisle entrance so we just started the ceremony with our bridal party and my husband and I up front. We attended our cocktail hour and didn't do a grand entrance into the reception.

    I skipped the rehearsal but still had a "welcome party" the night before the wedding. I mailed our bridesmaids gifts to them in advance (for those who were OOT) and gave my in town bridesmaid hers in person privately.

    And I wore a evening gown instead of a "wedding" dress. I'm pretty sure my mom wanted to see me in a "wedding" dress but she knew it wasn't me personality wise so was cool with it. 

    ETA:
    -also uneven bridal party sides
    -non matching attire for bridal party

    jenna8984
  • Our weirdest thing may be the ring bear. My nephew will wear bear ears and a tail to be our ring "bear." My nephew and fiancé want it to be a full bear suit, but I'm trying to let the boys realize how hot that would be.
    themuffinman16nutmeg2222
  • NavyBlue143NavyBlue143 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2014
    I wore a plain red dress. No beading or lace or anything. My mom called it a prom dress. I loved it. I also wore black lace gloves and a silver veil. And black shoes. No white in our wedding at all. A few people didn't like that.

    Our wedding party didn't match, they were all given a color scheme and that was it. Bridesmaids carried parasols. I had a Bridesman. Sides were uneven.

    My wedding band stone is a garnet.

    H wore a kilt and had all his piercings in.

    And our ceremony was half pagan and completely bungled. That was interesting. We had two officiants, a handfasting, a sword exchange, and the ceremony was on the beach. Several of my father's family commented that Grandma was rolling in her grave at my wedding plans (they're all Roman Catholic) and that if she were alive, we would be getting married in the Church. Um. No. I was not raised Catholic, do not believe what Catholics believe, I'm a Methodist. Grandma could have ranted and raved all she wanted, I would not disrespect a faith by pretending to believe in it for show. I did have an extremely devout aunt who left the reception early to go to Mass and pray for our souls since we had Pagan elements.

    I didn't have a bachelorette party, and was totally cool with a woman going along on H's bachelor weekend. A lot of people side eyed that.

    No mother son dance, and there were no speeches. Which several people thanked us for. No bouquet/ garter tosss, and no money dances. You would have thought I'd sacrificed a puppy the way people lamented that decision.
    lc07
  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I wore a plain red dress. No beading or lace or anything. My mom called it a prom dress. I loved it. I also wore black lace gloves and a silver veil. And black shoes. No white in our wedding at all. A few people didn't like that. Our wedding party didn't match, they were all given a color scheme and that was it. Bridesmaids carried parasols. I had a Bridesman. Sides were uneven. My wedding band stone is a garnet. H wore a kilt and had all his piercings in. And our ceremony was half pagan and completely bungled. That was interesting.
    After I bought my dress, I still looked around and ended up finding my dress on a prom site. It ended up being the one. I love it. I did cross my fingers that none of my cousins in attendance had chosen it for prom that year. :) I also have a colored gemstone as my engagement ring. Mine is amethyst. Garnet is beautiful!
  • Apparently everyone that's over the age of 65 is amazed at the idea of having a wedding somewhere other than in a church. FGMIL is shocked as is FI's uncle, and my parents are throwing a huge fit where I'm not sure if they're coming, and dad is not walking me down the aisle. 

    Sides will be uneven. BMs were given a color and material and that's it. I think matchy matchy is sort of creepy anyway. I will be making paper flowers. A friend is officiating (which is also really pissing the parents off). 

    Our cake topper is a really cute figurine of two ferrets that are the same colors as our little fur baby ferrets. 
    image
    lc07HisGirlFriday13
  • My Mom needed a bit of time to get used to us doing a DW.  What if people couldn't come, how would we plan, what if we couldn't visit the venue, etc.  She had never been to one, so didn't have any first hand knowledge of how it would work.  

  • McCMalMcCMal member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited March 2014
    -We aren't doing matching dresses either. Similar shades, but they're picking whatever dress they want in purple. I think it will look cute. 
    -Uneven sides as well. 
    -We aren't doing a 'honeymoon fund' jar, or dollar dance or anything of the sort. 
    -No traditional flowers, just wheat (Which we grow) and sprigs of lavender (Which I've been growing)
    -For my family it was the fact there was going to be alcohol. None of them drink. 

    The most ridiculous has been that almost all his aunts, his grandma and mother have said that they won't come to the wedding (Ok, phrased "there won't be a wedding") if my FI doesn't shave off his beard and cut his hair. Haha, good luck with that ladies... 
    They have almost all taken me aside and told me that I need to make him do it. I can't make him do anything! And I like the beard. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Not in a church was strange for my crowd. We are also putting the cake topper on the groom's cake.
  • Where to begin... My paragraphs don't work so bear with me. I'm getting married outside, it will be smallish, it is a Pagan ceremony, my dress is green, we are making it as casual as possible because we both hate formal stuffy events, I'm sure people will think the music we listen to is odd, my best friend with walking me down the aisle. Actually, as much as my relatives love me I'm pretty sure they think I'm nuts in general so might be expecting more craziness than they are going to get.
    lc07
  • FiancB said:

    Apparently everyone that's over the age of 65 is amazed at the idea of having a wedding somewhere other than in a church. FGMIL is shocked as is FI's uncle, and my parents are throwing a huge fit where I'm not sure if they're coming, and dad is not walking me down the aisle. 


    Sides will be uneven. BMs were given a color and material and that's it. I think matchy matchy is sort of creepy anyway. I will be making paper flowers. A friend is officiating (which is also really pissing the parents off). 

    Our cake topper is a really cute figurine of two ferrets that are the same colors as our little fur baby ferrets
    Please to post pictures of the baby ferrets??
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    pumpkinsandturkeysthemuffinman16JennyColadaKeptInStitches
  • FMIL did not love our original plan (evening wedding, mid-winter), or the fact that we aren't getting married in a church. She's also not loving the fact that we're not seating parents at the main table (if we even have such a thing), or that we're limiting toasts and speeches.

    Other things that may raise eyebrows:
    We're getting married at a restaurant. Which means that technically we have to do the "legal" bit at home either before or after the ceremony.

    I'm having my dress made, and asking for some coloured tulle (green and/or navy blue) to be added to the skirt.

    We're having a civil ceremony officiated by FI's uncle, who just happens to be a Catholic priest. He's a marriage officer, so he's able (and also willing) to do all the legal bits, with or without the religious aspect. I'm not particularly happy about this, but FIL's are dead-set on Uncle officiating, and it means I don't have to pay someone else. (Although we will be giving Uncle a nice bottle of wine and making a small donation to his church.)

    We're not having a "BP" as such, just my MOH and FI's BM.

    I'm not dictating my MOH's attire. As long as it's green (any shade) or navy blue, and not floor length, she can wear whatever she likes. Shoes and accessories, she can wear whatever she likes.

    I'm doing my own hair and make-up, and probably my MOH's as well. We're not doing anything fancy there either. I'll probably wear my hair down with a wide headband, and MOH will probably just wear a high ponytail.

    FI and his BM aren't wearing suits, mainly because FI is the only man I've ever met who doesn't look good in a suit. He has extremely broad shoulders and very long arms, but teeny tiny waist and hips. So if we get a suit jacket that fits his shoulders, it drowns the rest of him - he looks like a little kid playing dress-up in daddy's closet. So we're doing open collar shirts, sleeves rolled up, waistcoats, and either suit pants or jeans. I'm leaning towards jeans, but it's up to FI and I think he may want to wear suit pants.

    We're not having flowers - no bouquets or boutonnieres, no floral centerpieces. They're a ridiculous expense, especially considering that they die within a week, we're leaving for a honeymoon immediately from the reception, and the majority of our guests are OOT so we wouldn't be able to "distribute" them. I'm carrying a small purse instead of a bouquet.

    I'll be escorted by my brother, not my dad. My dad won't even be at the wedding, because he's chosen to think with his dick instead of his head, yet again.

    We'll probably have contemporary music instead of the normal stuff, although we're putting my brother in charge and he's a classical musician, so who knows.

    We're still debating having a dry wedding. At this point, it will come down to what the price difference is between "soft" beverages only and soft beverages + alcohol. Still waiting for the quote from the venue.
    imageDaisypath Friendship tickers
    lizandmark2014
  • phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ladies with non-white dresses, HIGHLY recommend posting in the offbeat bride board so we can see your awesome dresses!

    Most people in our families and our friend groups are on board with most of our ideas. Exceptions:

    - I think my mom is trying to hide how upset she is that I don't want a bridal shower. Well, more accurately, my partner and I are not comfortable with it. She's said things like, "Oh, you really don't want one? Okay, but I will TOTALLY throw you one if you want one. You can't change your mind, so are you SURE you don't want one?" Yes, I'm sure.

    - Some folks are not on board with a navy blue wedding dress. Surprisingly, my future brother-in-law is, like ... worried about it. Unsurprisingly, my grandmother is devastated by it. We're inviting all her grandkids (my brother didn't at his wedding and she complained ENDLESSLY), but noooo I'm wearing a blue dress, so it's practically just as bad.

    - Future sister-in-law told us that we should have flowers (while I was telling a story about how I was being treated by a nurse who kept telling me to use her florist even though I said we weren't doing flowers) and then told me I should let her do the flowers

    - We're going to Chicago for our honeymoon between Christmas and New Year's. Every single person has immediately commented, "Okay, well, you know it's going to be cold, right?" OH REALLY? We're on such a tight budget that a honeymoon actually felt entirely out of the cards for us, which was very disappointing. We finally pick a vacation that we'll both enjoy, that we can afford, and that we won't have to take time off from work to go on (we get between Christmas and New Year's off), and you all have to tell us not to go.

    - My partner has seen my dress AND he's seen me in it. It was really important to me that he see the dress (either in person or in the photo, not necessarily on me) because for me, it's not okay for this HUGE wedding detail to be hidden from one half of the couple. And it was wonderful that he let me try it on for him; I was feeling anxious because he hadn't liked the photo at first, and I was super depressed that he wasn't going to like the dress. We have to keep it a secret from his mother and aunt that he's even seen a photo.

    Things we're doing that no one seems to care about:

    - Uneven sides
    - No father-daughter dance (but yes to mother-son dance)
    - Mother walking me down the aisle
    - Parents (we hope) walking groom down the aisle (weird for my partner's family--they're not Jewish)
    - First look
    - Bridesmaids in whatever dress (or non-dress!) they want, whatever hair, make-up, jewelry, etc.
    - Guests have been informed that no color is off-limits (including white/ivory, or navy blue)--important to note on the website because LOTS of people, when they find out about my dress, ask, "So does that mean I can't wear navy?" lol people, wear whatever you want, I THINK you'll all know I'm the bride
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    lc07
  • Our weirdest thing may be the ring bear. My nephew will wear bear ears and a tail to be our ring "bear." My nephew and fiancé want it to be a full bear suit, but I'm trying to let the boys realize how hot that would be.
    ^ HIMYM, anyone? :)

    People initially thought it was weird that we're having such a small wedding. It took some time for them to wrap their heads around the concept that extended family and 99% of our friends will not be invited.

    We're also doing a handfasting during our ceremony, which is really beautiful. However, it's highly uncommon around here (I've never seen it done, and our pastor has only done it once), so I'm sure that it will throw people off at first.

    Also, there will not be dancing. Our venue isn't really conducive to it due to the small size (the five tables will take up most of the room), and the floor is stone tile, so there's a chance someone would slip in their heels if they got too enthusiastic. Plus, I always pictured our wedding as being more like an intimate, family dinner -- eating, talking, drinking, laughing... That's what we do during the holidays, and those are some of the best times we've had together.


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    HisGirlFriday13SmileDamnit
  • jenniferursjenniferurs member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited March 2014
    Yes.

    I have 5 bridesmen in addition to 5 bridesmaids. Some people think it's weird that I'm having guys stand up there with me and some think it's weird that we're having a 20 person bridal party in total. Some people might also find it weird that the 10 groomsmen on FI's side are wearing sneakers with their tuxes or that I'm wearing flip flops under my dress or that I'm walking down the aisle to Bruno Mars.

    But the weirdest thing by far is the fact that the mascot for the university I attended will be the "person" walking me down the aisle. Can't wait to see the look on everyone's faces when he emerges in full costume.
    MollyandD
  • edited March 2014

    I eloped, so I'm pretty sure there were more than a few people that were caught off guard and perhaps not happy with that decision. However, they should have thought about that before causing so much drama at our first weddings.

    Other things included:

    - DH wore linen shirt and pants

    - we were both barefoot

    - there was no music or decorations. The beach and the sound of the water speaks for itself

    - We just randomly chose a time to say our vows once the celebrant arrived. We just sat and chit chatted with everyone prior

    - I wore a very simple ivory dress

    - my flowers were fake because my ceremony site is a national park and does not allow outside flora

     edit- spelling

     







    pumpkinsandturkeys
  • Well, I didn't ask my SIL to be a bridesmaid.  Although I think she's actually a pretty cool person, I didn't feel close enough to her that I would call her to help me move a dead body so I didn't ask her to stand up with me.  When someone mentioned that she might've said she was a little miffed at not being asked (never said a word to me or my husband) I encouraged H to have her on his side.  This was apparently similar to asking him to walk down the aisle naked.  So she did a reading.

    I did wear my old purple converse sneakers under my dress.  I tried to find a nice pair of silver flats but no luck.  My dress just brushed the floor with me in flat feet so no way was I doing heels.  I also don't wear heels.  I have one pair of black pumps I trot out occasionally for formal weddings but I don't like feeling off balance.  Didn't really tell people though because for some reason it upset my MIL a little bit and converse "has been done" for weddings before.  Whatever that means.  They're my favorite shoes and H was hardly going to run screaming from the church if he saw them peeking out from under my dress.  He actually thought about getting a pair as well, but it wasn't practical.
  • @mccmal Yay for beards!!!!! My FI gets so much flack for his beard, people either call him Duck Dynasty or a terrorist or homeless. It's so rude! I'm sorry that he and I prefer him to look like a sexy lumberjacky manly man and not a GQ girly man. Many people have asked if he will shave for the wedding and we say "why would he?". I have actually run and tackled him when I heard the electric clippers turn on. Luckily he was just trying to clean up the back of his hair/ neck lol

     

    Hmmm weird things about mine...people think I'm nuts for denying a shower. I think they are selfish and greedy and nobody owes me gifts just because I'm getting married. Everyone else looks at like why would you ever turn down gifts?!

    Another thing is that none of my aunts, uncles, or cousins are invited. People look at me like I'm crazy and I just say I'm NOT close to them, never was, never will be, end of story. I do not believe in inviting the whole world just because you're related or feel the family obligation. No. Screw you.

    FI and his GM will be wearing just a vest and dress shirt with the sleeves rolled halfway up (no jacket) to show off their tattoos. And I think I will stand on the opposite side of which the bride usually stands purposely to show of my sleeve tattoo in all the pictures lol.

                                                                     

    image

  • I'm having a sweetheart table instead of a headtable
    Brunch reception
    Following proper etiquette (my area is terrible for cash-bars, stag and does, etc.)  
    Having a smaller guest list instead of inviting anyone and everyone
    image
  • The guest list has been a little issue for me as well. My mom wants to invite all our extended relatives that she grew up around, even though I barely know them. I'm just going to have to remind myself that our venue is only so big, and I'd rather be around people who are a big part of my life. I'm not cutting friends to invite relatives I honestly don't know.
  • MollyandDMollyandD member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited March 2014
    Our weirdest thing may be the ring bear. My nephew will wear bear ears and a tail to be our ring "bear." My nephew and fiancé want it to be a full bear suit, but I'm trying to let the boys realize how hot that would be.
    ^ HIMYM, anyone? :)

    How I Met Your Mother? I don't watch it, but I googled. In dream world, I would have an actual bear. Sadly, I don't have one on hand.

  • ^ HIMYM, anyone? :)

    People initially thought it was weird that we're having such a small wedding. It took some time for them to wrap their heads around the concept that extended family and 99% of our friends will not be invited.

    We're also doing a handfasting during our ceremony, which is really beautiful. However, it's highly uncommon around here (I've never seen it done, and our pastor has only done it once), so I'm sure that it will throw people off at first.

    Also, there will not be dancing. Our venue isn't really conducive to it due to the small size (the five tables will take up most of the room), and the floor is stone tile, so there's a chance someone would slip in their heels if they got too enthusiastic. Plus, I always pictured our wedding as being more like an intimate, family dinner -- eating, talking, drinking, laughing... That's what we do during the holidays, and those are some of the best times we've had together.
    Ditto for us! We're skipping a lot of the "traditional" stuff like bouquet toss, garter what ever, and we don't have a wedding party, per se. My sister will stand up with me and FI's son with him, but that's it. We're also seriously contemplating greeting our guests as they arrive - I saw someone mention that as what they did and loved the idea. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    pumpkinsandturkeys
  • Our weirdest thing may be the ring bear. My nephew will wear bear ears and a tail to be our ring "bear." My nephew and fiancé want it to be a full bear suit, but I'm trying to let the boys realize how hot that would be.
    ^ HIMYM, anyone? :)

    How I Met Your Mother? I don't watch it, but I googled. In dream world, I would have an actual bear. Sadly, I don't have one on hand.

    -------------
    Yes! (SPOILER ALERT) There's a recent episode during which one of the main characters is getting married, and he keeps referring to the ring bearer as the ring bear. His fiancée keeps correcting him, and he responds with, "yes -- ring bear." Based on the character, it's highly likely that he planned to have an actual ring bear at his wedding.


    image
    pinkshorts27MollyandD
  • Our weirdest thing may be the ring bear. My nephew will wear bear ears and a tail to be our ring "bear." My nephew and fiancé want it to be a full bear suit, but I'm trying to let the boys realize how hot that would be.
    ^ HIMYM, anyone? :)

     
    @pumpkinsandturkeys I'm glad I wasn't the only one to pick up on that. I kept thinking, "Say it, say ring bearer!" "Ring Bear." "Bear-er" lol

    pumpkinsandturkeysmysticl
  • I'm skipping bouquet and garter tosses too, but no one has acted like they cared about leaving those traditions out. We want "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by the Darkness to play after we kiss at the alter and while the guests go into the reception hall. The older relatives may not be on board, but they will live.
  • We had:
    - uneven and mixed bridal party
    - head table (it was round with everyone seated in a semi-circle so we could talk and SOs were seated with us)
    - atraditional honeymoon - we roadtripped and spent 2-3 nights each in 4 cities and had a lot of fun!  sitting on a beach sipping a drink for a week sounds super boring imo
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