Money Poem

tristins_mommy · February 2014

The etiquette police will have a field day with this one LOL

We are enclosing a poem with the invitations, asking for contributions to our honeymoon rather than gifts. This is our choice. I have a cute funny poem, but what about maybe adding on the bottom the website for the resort we plan to stay at so people can see where they gifts went. We also plan on taking the "Thank You" picture on our honeymoon to make thank you cards with upon our return.

As you know we're getting married,
So soon we will be wed.
Gifts are oh so welcome-
But could we have money instead?
It's to spend whilst we're on honeymoon,
As our love we celebrate.
We hope you're not offended,
But if you are......................Oops, it's too late!

Jstump2 · February 2014

tristins_mommy said:

The etiquette police will have a field day with this one LOL

We are enclosing a poem with the invitations, asking for contributions to our honeymoon rather than gifts. This is our choice. I have a cute funny poem, but what about maybe adding on the bottom the website for the resort we plan to stay at so people can see where they gifts went. We also plan on taking the "Thank You" picture on our honeymoon to make thank you cards with upon our return.

As you know we're getting married,
So soon we will be wed.
Gifts are oh so welcome-
But could we have money instead?
It's to spend whilst we're on honeymoon,
As our love we celebrate.
We hope you're not offended,
But if you are......................Oops, it's too late!

*STUCK IN BOX*

If I was a guest and recieved this I would be kind of offended to be honest.

tristins_mommy · February 2014

Changed it to this:

Soon we will be wed and
gifts are oh so welcome,
But to help us start our married life,
money towards the honeymoon
would really please the wife!
We hope you're not offended,
But if you are.........
Oops, too late!

emmyg65 · February 2014

1. I really hope you're trolling and not serious with this, but just in case:

2. Don't put anything in your invitations about gifts. No registry card, no cute poem, not even "No gifts please" or "We want your presence, not your presents." It's presumptuous and beside the point.

3. If you want cash, just don't register. If anyone asks where you're registered, say, "Oh, we're not registered anywhere, but we're saving up for a honeymoon." And then change the subject.

4. That line about pleasing the wife is kind of sexist and gross.

5. And the last three lines are so rude! Why would you do something that you know will offend your guests and then be flip about it?

tristins_mommy · February 2014

MY guest will not be upset by this, trust me. I'm not a troll. I'm having a wedding to celebrate my relationship with OUR friends and family. If this would upset OUR friends and family I wouldn't do it.
As for registering for gifts, we don't do that in Nova Scotia unless you are a rich snob. Not the Nova Scotia style. The only place to register here would be WalMart.

My question was not so much about the poem itself, as to whether we should let people know what resort we are looking at staying. No matter how we are letting people know what we prefer cash, should we not let them know where they gift is going?

JennyColada · February 2014

I am apt to believe that you just don't understand what will offend them. I mean, do you really sit around and discuss with your friends "would you be offended if I asked for money as a gift for my wedding" on a regular basis?

casey8784 · February 2014

If I received a poem like this for a friend's wedding - even if it my best friend's wedding - I would seriously consider not attending, let alone not giving a gift of any kind.

The issues I have with this idea:

1) It's presumptuous to assume that your guests will be giving you a gift. At all. This poem puts them in an awkward position and makes them feel like they HAVE to only give money.

2) Even the "rich snobs" who register for gifts aren't outright asking for gifts. The point of a registry is to say, "these items are the style and color of things we are needing/have been wanting to buy." It also helps so multiple guests don't buy the bride and groom the same toaster, but no one is required to buy anything off of it.

But etiquette aside, to answer your original question: On your website it's completely fine to link to the resort where you are staying, and including a picture of the two of you, while there, in your thank you cards would be a lovely touch.

Basically, it's more than ok to show that you and your spouse had a brilliantly wonderful time on your honeymoon - it's just not ok to ask them to fund it.

QueerFemme · February 2014

that's not offbeat, it's tacky and rude.

ShesSoCold · February 2014

So....you're putting this horrendous poem on your invites and you don't care what anyone (or etiquette) says, but you're asking if it's tacky to put the name of the resort on there too?

I'm inclined to think you don't give a shit and you just wanted to get a rise out of us and say "neener neener neener I think I'm too cool for gracious hosting and humility".

AddieCake · February 2014

So you know it's poor etiquette, and you posted it here on the ETIQUETTE board.....why?

AddieCake · February 2014

Oh, whoops! My bad. It's me on the wrong board! Hahaha! Still a bad idea, though.

Maggie0829 · February 2014

The poem sucks. And not just because it is rude and tacky. The actual poem itself sucks. I mean if you are going to do something god awful gross then at least make it an amazing ass poem.

mlg78 · February 2014

If I got your wedding invitation with this poem enclosed I would make it a point to not give you money. In fact, I'd likely re-gift something I already have that I don't want because you're off the charts tacky and rude.

nutmeg2222 · March 2014

I'm a generally pretty laid back person who does not get easily offended. I'm certainly far from "etiquette police" and, while I don't have one myself, I don't get too put off my money-requesting-registries. HOWEVER, I thought I should share that this WOULD offend me. Like... A LOT.

Why not just not register for anything? Or, even better, register for a few things for those who like to give physical gifts... everyone else will just get the hint and just gift money. AND you don't look like an asshole (not saying you are, but that's how this makes you come off.)

AddieCake · March 2014

If I got a poem like that in an invitation, I'd be tempted to send a poem of my own back. Something like, "Bride and groom, you're so crass. Take this idea and shove it up your ass. I hope that doesn't offend or make you mad, but if it does---oops! Too bad!"

Lizzieyounce · March 2014

tristins_mommy said:

The etiquette police will have a field day with this one LOL

We are enclosing a poem with the invitations, asking for contributions to our honeymoon rather than gifts. This is our choice. I have a cute funny poem, but what about maybe adding on the bottom the website for the resort we plan to stay at so people can see where they gifts went. We also plan on taking the "Thank You" picture on our honeymoon to make thank you cards with upon our return.

As you know we're getting married,
So soon we will be wed.
Gifts are oh so welcome-
But could we have money instead?
It's to spend whilst we're on honeymoon,
As our love we celebrate.
We hope you're not offended,
But if you are......................Oops, it's too late!

CamiSelene · March 2014

Honestly, I'm not typically the type to judge or be super easily offended but if I were to receive something like this in a wedding invite, I would be EXTREMELY put off. Obviously you will choose to do what you want in the end but please, if anything, omit that last part about "We hope you're not offended, But if you are......................Oops, it's too late! " that, to me, gives the impression that you do not care about me or my feelings and if that's the case, then why would I even go to your wedding? I have always been told to never put anything about registry in invitations (although when I receive invites with registry cards inside, I'm not offended). If people want to know, trust me, they will ask. My fiance and I made a very small registry and then when asked we said that we have a small one at this place but we will be combining 2 households already and saving for a down payment on a house. Most people have told us they chose to help us out with our savings instead and a few have chosen to look at our registry but that way, it becomes their choice.

Fairyjen1 · March 2014

Interesting. I'm not offended by much. If someone has a honeymoon fund listed instead of a registry I contribute, I wouldn't do one, but it doesn't offend me. If a person has wording stating they want cash instead of presents, it doesn't offend me, I give cash. Cash bars, potluck receptions, and money dances don't offend me, even though etiquette says I should be! (for the record I won't do any of these things myself)

However, You, have managed to find something that offends me! I think it's the last few lines. Just asking for cash doesn't bother me, I believe a lot of couples do this because they think it's normal in their circle, or don't realize it's rude, at least I like to give them the benefit of the doubt. But you seem to realize it's rude and will offend people, and don't care. I think it's the attitude I find offensive, not the asking for money itself. If you just put a line saying 'We prefer a contribution to our honeymoon instead of presents' I'd figure you just didn't know and would give cash, but they way you are wording it , I realize you do know it can be offensive to some, and you don't give a rip. I would probably decline your invite and not send you anything.

CamiSelene · March 2014

Very well put @Fairyjen1

winnipegwriter · March 2014

Good lord, is this for real? Like, are you actually seriously putting that on your invitations? You have to be trolling.

You're probably having a cash bar too, amirite?

chibiyui · March 2014

If I received an invite with that poem in it, I would get you a Beyonce.

lookame3639 · March 2014

The poem is offensive cut and dry.

FiancB · March 2014

I for one, don't really care if someone asks for money. I only roll my eyes a little if they do it in the invitation, even.

But please, please, for the love of all that is holy, skip the poem. It makes me want to puke. It isn't cute. Especially not the last line. If you're going to go all speshul snowflake on us and say it's your day and all, whatever, but at least lose the "oops too late" crap. That is just fucking awful.

themuffinman16 · March 2014

If you had a cash bar, dollar dance, 7 spotlight dances, bought a pnina lingerie gown, made your bridesmaids pay thousands of dollars for a destination bachelorette party... all of these would make you a better hostess than the person who would put that poem on anything other than toilet paper. If i were given that invite, that is exactly how I would repurpose it. This poem is the Chernobyl of bad etiquette.

Jen4948 · April 2014

tristins_mommy said:

The etiquette police will have a field day with this one LOL

We are enclosing a poem with the invitations, asking for contributions to our honeymoon rather than gifts. This is our choice. I have a cute funny poem, but what about maybe adding on the bottom the website for the resort we plan to stay at so people can see where they gifts went. We also plan on taking the "Thank You" picture on our honeymoon to make thank you cards with upon our return.

As you know we're getting married,
So soon we will be wed.
Gifts are oh so welcome-
But could we have money instead?
It's to spend whilst we're on honeymoon,
As our love we celebrate.
We hope you're not offended,
But if you are......................Oops, it's too late!

To ask for a gift

Will lead to a rift

And if you were my friend

Our friendship would end

If I got this verse

And you're making it worse

By asking for cash.

So don't be so rash!

thesummersky · April 2014

I know you said your friends won't be offended, but most people will not call someone out for behaving rudely. Please keep that in mind before sending out a poem like that - and before you ask your guests for money.

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