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People are forcing my birthday on me

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudie,
My birthday is coming up and it’s a bit of an issue with me. I’m not sure why, but my birthdays make me sad. Thoughts enter my mind of the invitations from friends I've turned down, the mistakes I've made, the people I've hurt, and whatever else I don’t like about myself. My girlfriend assures me that these feelings are not normal and that people should be happy on their birthday. She loves to organize and celebrate birthdays and I know my attitude is distressing to her. Furthermore, the new office manager I work with is big on birthdays and is planning a celebration. How do I tell people my birthday is not something I want to celebrate? Or should I just put on my best mask of elation?

—Birthday Blues

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Re: People are forcing my birthday on me

  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I don't think he should have to feel any way that he doesn't feel, or celebrate something he isn't happy about.  That said, this dude is weird as hell.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Eh. Some people aren't into birthdays. I usually do that whole "depressed and replaying my mistakes" thing in the summer, but I can see why a birthday would trigger it. 

    You all know I have a birthday complex. So we celebrate big for Bacon - well, big for us. My husband, though, never really got into his birthday. So we just do a quiet thing for him, because that's what he'd prefer. 

    This girlfriend is just into throwing parties. Birthdays should be about the birthday person - and if she can't get that, she doesn't really care about him. 
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  • dharmabunnydharmabunny member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    This dude's reaction to his birthday is my New Year's Eve/day. And my birthday. Not really this mopey, just IDGAF.

    GF needs to respect how he feels about that. Period. He can also simply tell the work party planner that he doesn't like celebrating his birthday, so please don't.
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yeah, I'm not really too big on my birthday anymore either.  It doesn't make me sad, but I don't really feel this urge to celebrate it anymore and it tends to be a day of personal reflection.  It bothers DH and every year he tries to plan something and every year he doesn't b/c I say no when he asks.  

    GF is being a pill and needs to take him at his word.  If it's a job he cares about, I'd let it slide for a year or two, then ask that the celebration be toned down or skipped.
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I don't like any thing that focuses attention on me. At the work bridal shower which I told them I didn't want, I had a couple of them mad at me because of my silence, as I was uncomfortable with the attention. I took enough Xanax on wedding day to kill a lesser being and can't comprehend why people enjoy their weddings because sweet jeebus attention. I don't do birthday parties, don't want a baby shower, don't want an anything, so I understand this guy, not because of looking back at past wrongs but because of my whole crippling social anxiety thing.

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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I love a good birthday celebration, but usually only for milestone years.
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