Wedding Etiquette Forum

I Shocked my Priest in Marriage Prep

Vivandiere8Vivandiere8 member
250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
edited March 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Ok so most of us have heard of this ridiculous trend where brides let people know they were not invited. In case it's still news to some it has been everything from a post on face book telling people if they didn't get an invitation it means they aren't invited, to brides sending out official, "Sorry but we couldn't invite you" cards. I actually saw a Dear Prudence recently where someone got one of these un-invitations and didn't know how to keep from feeling hurt and insulted that the bride took this extra step (she hadn't thought she was going to be invited in the first place, just found it incredibly rude for it to be pointed out on a card that came looking like an invitation). Google it. It's a real thing.

Anyway, this weekend my fiance and I were having our last marriage prep class with our priest and to make some point he was giving us an example of something so incredibly rude no one in their right mind would think it was ok to do. So he says, "For your wedding you sent out invitation to the people you wanted to invite right?" I say yes. He then says, "And what did you do for the people you didn't invite?" I said "nothing" He said, "Exactly. Because how hurtful, and unimaginably rude would it be if you sent them all an invitation that said, You are Not Invited? So even though no one would ever be this thoughtless let's pretend that in imaginary land there is a bride and groom who thinks this is a good idea..."

He went on with the point he was trying to make while I hid a smile thinking of what I've learned here on the knott, but when he was finished I told him that this actually was a real thing, and that there were some brides today that do this. He was soooo, so, so , so shocked! He said he thought his example was something he could be sure no married couple would ever consider doing.  He really looked like his head was going to explode from the confusion of why some people wouldn't see this was the pinnacle of rude behavior. I hope he keeps using that as an example in his marriage prep classes incase he does come across a couple who thinks that way. What I thought was so funny though was the fact that he used that story  as if he was saying, 'Would you beat a puppy" something he was so sure no one in their right mind would ever disagree with.


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Re: I Shocked my Priest in Marriage Prep

  • I like your priest.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
  • That's funny. I think if I got "you aren't invited" card in the mail I might consider sending back a note that said "just wanted to let you know I'm not buying you a gift".
    AHAHAHAH!!!! That would be a perfect response!! I would love to hear of someone doing this.
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  • I like your priest and I LOVE the idea of sending a blank card that says, 'I just want you to know I would have loved to buy you a gift, but I just couldn't (give up my wine budget for your piddling wedding).'
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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