Wedding Etiquette Forum

Announcements for an "elopement"

My fiance and I decided after 9 months of engagement that the normal wedding route won't work for us (he's military, I just started a new job, our families are spread out) and isn't what we want. We want to send out announcements to friends and family to announce our marriage after the fact (coming up in April) rather than have it get out through the grapevine.

My worry is that certain people will interpret this as a way to skip the wedding but get the wedding gifts. Not close family and friends, but people I am not in frequent touch with but are still part of the family. There won't be any gift information on the invitation and we aren't registering, we honestly have everything we need and that's not our motivation. I just don't want people to view it that way. Is it better to skip one great uncle but send one to another and risk someone being slighted? These are people that, if we had a real ceremony, I would invite but really only to avoid leaving someone out and I would be 99.9% certain they would not show up anyways.

Re: Announcements for an "elopement"

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited March 2014
    A wedding announcement is not the same thing as a wedding invitation.  An announcement does not mean that the receiver should send a gift.  It is simply a way of letting friends and relatives know that you are now married.  It is no different than putting an announcement in the newspaper.
    Sending announcements is the proper thing for you to do after your ceremony.  Here is traditional wording:

    Miss Brides Full Name
    and
    Mr.  Groom's Full Name
    announce their marriage
    Date
    City, State

    Of course, if your husband is an officer, you use the formal military title.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • If they thought you were present-fishing, would they send you a gift anyway? Probably not. Your intention is not to get gifts and they won't send you one, so it's a win-win I guess.

    If they DO send you a gift, promptly send a TY note, and if they send a card, I think it may be a nice idea to give them a short phone call "Oh I just picked up the mail and I got your congrats card! Thanks! It was a very special day, thank you so much for the card, the sentiment was beautiful. Oh, it's time to make dinner! TTYL!"
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  • Ditto PPs. Just send a simply worded announcement that details your marriage (date, place).

    People who interpret it as a gift grab -- shame on them. People who send you a nice card get a call.
    People who send you a gift get a thank-you note.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I think announcements are lovely. Don't worry about gifts. You may get some, but I don't think the announcement is gift grabby at all.
  • Go ahead and send the announcements.  They are not "gift grabs."  Shame on anyone who interprets them that way.
  • I love getting wedding announcements! I always send a card. 

    If it's someone close to me, I send a check or gift, but not because I feel obligated.
  • I would so much rather get a formal announcement than find out on Facebook or in the middle of a family celebration.
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    eyeroll
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