Ok, I'm going to make this as short as I possibly can...This will be my second marriage (currently 36) this will be FI's first marriage (also currently 36). I have a 4 year old daughter. FI & I have our own place together. We do ok on money, but with a 4 year old and our everyday bills it's not like we're stock piling it or anything like that. My dad is retired and my mom is retiring this coming year. My dad has had some minor medical problems but still things that cost money. FI's parents both work. Future MIL makes pretty nice money. I told FI that I am completely fine with like a back yard buffet type of wedding. Still do it nicely, but not extravagantly. FI is saying that his parents will want a sit down wedding. Which I believe, these are the people that can turn a $40 dinner at Ruby Tuesday into a $150 affair. I have told FI that my family can not foot the bill. They have already footed that bill previously and with dads medical condition and retirement that it just isn't a possibility for them. I started looking into the whole backyard wedding thing but nothing seems good enough to FI. There isn't "real plates." There isn't a tent. Dinner isn't served. On and on and on. I told him that if that is what he and his family want they should be the ones shelling out for it. I will do what I can without putting myself into a complete financial ruin, but that I won't forsake buying a house within the next year or two for it. I could easily trim my guest list down to 25 people if I had too. Just his "immediate" family alone is about ten. Then there's all these aunts and uncles and cousins and significant others. And we JUST HAVE to have an open bar...Again blah blah blah. So even a back yard event turns into an $8,000 ordeal. And that is with me basically doing everything DIY except for tent, catering and hard goods. I was thinking about proposing just going to the beach and inviting immediate family members for our ceremony. And then doing a casual party later. But I feel like I'm going to be crucified. I really am stressing about the financial burden to my parents. The wonderful kicker in all of this is that we can't even get married in a church. We are both Catholic and I am divorced. So a church wedding is out. I feel bad because I want him to have his day too...But even on a DIY budget were looking at thousands...Any suggestions? I really don't want to start a war with the future in laws over this..