Wedding Etiquette Forum

MOH Dress Question

Checking in with you ladies to make sure my request isn't out of line.

My sister is my MOH and I have no bridesmaids. As such, when I first asked her to be my MOH, I let her know that I'd like her to wear a dress is one of the following colours (pale pink, mint green, or gold) since those are my wedding colours. No other clothing, hair, shoe, accessory requests.

Since then, she has purchased a pale pink dress, but has fallen out of love with it and in with a new dress... that's blue.

Obviously having her wear a blue dress won't matter... but it's not what I had in mind. Am I out of line to ask her to keep looking for a dress that's one of the original three colours, or should I just leave it and let her wear the blue dress?


Re: MOH Dress Question

  • I don't think you're out of line...you're being very easy going allowing her to pick the dress itself and not making any other demands of her.  The color choice is yours.  You are completely within your rights ot tell her she needs to stick with your established color scheme.
  • The strict etiquette answer is that you are not out of line at all. One of the very basic rights of the bride is to choose the colours of her wedding (and of her attendants' dresses).

    You were more than reasonable in giving her free reign of any dress style or price point in a range of colours. 

    You would absolutely be within your rights to say, 'Sis, I get that you love the blue dress, but our colours are pale pink, mint green, and gold, so please pick a dress in one of those colours.'

    Only you, however, know if this is a battle worth fighting with your sister. 
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Totally in the right to insist upon following the color scheme. I'd avoid the situation for now though, because it sounds like by next week she may be in love with yet another dress!

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  • She should be happy with your request. Most bridesmaids have no choice in color, fabric, style, length, etc. Then on top of it, they have to agree on the same dress for the MOH and the other maids. Some bride (probably not most?) require certain hair style, shoes, and jewlery.

    I do not think you are out of line at all.

  • I was in the exact same position. I asked my sister to get a teal or green dress (seriously, any shade of green). She texted me a photo of the pink dress she bought. I decided just to let it go, I really didn't care that much. I know she had a difficult time finding something (we spent a weekend shopping at various malls) because she is very tall, and finding a short length dress that doesn't leave her hoo ha hanging out is a challenge. She looks perfectly lovely in the photos and not out of place at all, since my color scheme wasn't really a strong theme.

    You are well within your right to insist on the color scheme. Only you can decide if you want to take up that fight.
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  • no, you are not out of line.


  • You can absolutely press the colour scheme issue. She has a very wide range to work within, and she chose to go outside of that. You get to choose the colours, and she gets to be respectful of that.


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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    You're not out of line at all, and it sounds like she's just going to fall in love with another dress down the line anyways ... and then another, etc. But I also think it's up to you if this is a hill you want to die on.
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    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • BHDLN has a ton of really pretty dresses in your color scheme. She should totally check it out!
  • Thanks for the great advice ladies. I'm going to give her some time to decide if this is really the dress she wants, and if she's insistent, I'm just going to let it go. The blue isn't so far off from green that it will look silly.

    I do feel better knowing that if she changes her mind again and wants a dress that's even farther away from the colour scheme, I can push back and ask her to reconsider.

    Thanks again!
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