How long till the reception?

Re: How long till the reception?

• AddieCake member

  

  March 2014

  I would say the sooner the better. Why not just invite everyone to the wedding?

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report3 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  Your wedding reception takes place on your wedding day.  It is usually immediately after your ceremony, and it is a party where you thank your guests for coming and offer them food and drink.  Bouquet tossing, toasts, garter tossing, dancing, alcohol, and cake cutting are optional.  (People do expect cake, though!) Wedding receptions are not optional if you have any guests.You MUST feed your guests, especially for coming to an inconvenient (for them) destination wedding.
  
  A party on a later date is NOT part of your wedding.  It will be a party to celebrate your marriage.  No white wedding dress, no bouquet tossing, etc.  It is fine to show off pictures from your wedding and honeymoon.  You may have dancing, but not a "first dance" since you will have been married for weeks.  "Special dance" is OK.  The invitations for this party go out separately, since it is not part of your wedding.  You get ONE DAY, not a week, not a month!
  

  

  Report5 Reply
• motleygirl18 member

  

  March 2014

  We have always wanted a smaller, more private ceremony (neither of us like large crowds staring at us) which is why we chose to only have immediate family and our close friends.  Has anyone had their wedding and reception at different times?

  Report1 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  Did you read my post?  Wedding and reception must be on the same day.  After parties on a later date are fine, but not wedding receptions.
  

  

  Report6 Reply
• motleygirl18 member

  

  March 2014

  Ok wow...I am not saying that we arn't taking care of the people coming to our actual wedding, we are (paying for hotels, dinner etc.).  I am just talking about a different 'party' as you so politely put it, later that all of our friends would be attending where we would still have a cake and dancing.  Jeez

  Report0 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014

  Then that is not a problem.  Just don't try to turn it into a "wedding reception".  Have a great celebration with your friends.
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• motleygirl18 member

  

  March 2014

   I GET what you are saying...blah blah blah, a reception MUST be on the same day as your wedding.  If it will make you happy, I will just call it a celebration...

  Report0 Reply
• TheGrimReaper member

  

  March 2014

  motleygirl18 said:

  We have always wanted a smaller, more private ceremony (neither of us like large crowds staring at us) which is why we chose to only have immediate family and our close friends.  Has anyone had their wedding and reception at different times?

  I hate to tell you, but if you have a large crowd at this 'reception', they'll be looking at you.

  Report15 Reply
• TheGrimReaper member

  

  March 2014

  Also, you should be sure to host something for those that come to the ceremony immediately after it is over.

  Report0 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  
  

  motleygirl18 said:

  My fiance and I are getting married about 5 hours away from our home town with just our immediate family and very close friends attending.  Our plan has always been to have a reception with all of our friends and family when we return home.  My questions is how long is too long after the wedding?  Is one week after the wedding acceptable?   How about two?  I feel like anything past two weeks is bad form.  Help please!

  Well!   I tried to help you (as you requested), and now you give me attitude?  I can only go by what you originally posted.  I am sorry if i did not tell you what you wanted to hear.  I don't validate bad ideas.
  Have a nice celebration party.
  
  

  

  Report9 Reply
• motleygirl18 member

  

  March 2014

  You were extremely rude in your oirginal post.  I didn't include all of the details because I hadn't anticipated an old bitty replying the way you did.  Guess I should have known better since people like you don't have anything better to do than troll around and make people feel like shit for having a different idea of a wedding reception than what you think is acceptable.

  Report0 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  How was I rude?  Because I didn't validate your idea?  How old are you? Sheesh!
  
  

  

  Report13 Reply
• motleygirl18 member

  

  March 2014

  I meant that we don't like having to say very personal vows in front of a very large crowd and would prefer to keep that more private.

  Report0 Reply
• motleygirl18 member

  

  March 2014

  You didn't even answer the question, you immediately launched into an attack about how what I had in mind was not a reception which is not what I asked!

  Report0 Reply
• doeydo member

  

  March 2014

  motleygirl18 said:

  You were extremely rude in your oirginal post.  I didn't include all of the details because I hadn't anticipated an old bitty replying the way you did.  Guess I should have known better since people like you don't have anything better to do than troll around and make people feel like shit for having a different idea of a wedding reception than what you think is acceptable.
  
  
  CMGragain was not rude.  She described what a reception is, not her opinion of what one is (no to put words in your mouth CMGragain).  You, on the other hand, are being extremely rude.  Having "differing opinions" doesn't mean you get the right to attack her.

  
  

  Report5 Reply
• doeydo member

  

  March 2014

  motleygirl18 said:

  I meant that we don't like having to say very personal vows in front of a very large crowd and would prefer to keep that more private.

  What you can do is have a very private ceremony (ie. under 20 people) and then a larger reception.  I would do the reception following the ceremony.  

  
  

  Report3 Reply
• motleygirl18 member

  

  March 2014

  Of course you would say she wasn't being rude since you liked all of her posts.  Apparently I am not entitled to think someone is rude even though it was my question.  Trolls coming to the rescue of other trolls! 

  Report0 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014

  Thanks,Doeydo.  I actually think it is funny that she thinks my etiquette is different because of my age!  I'm certainly not sensitive about it.  She even misspelled her insult! LOL!  It's "old biddy", not "old bitty".  There is nothing "bitty" (small) about me!
  I think we have a speshul snowflake who doesn't have to follow etiquette because she is young and speshel.
  
  
  

  

  Report10 Reply
• Viczaesar member

  

  March 2014

  
  

  motleygirl18 said:

  Of course you would say she wasn't being rude since you liked all of her posts.  Apparently I am not entitled to think someone is rude even though it was my question.  Trolls coming to the rescue of other trolls! 

  Do you even know what a troll is?  It doesn't appear so.
  

  
  
  
  

  Report7 Reply
• jessiray member

  

  March 2014

  You need to be more respectful of the people on this site. @CMGragain gave you great advice, and you should take it. She's letting you know that what you're planning on doing is not polite, which is what an ETIQUETTE board is for. She answered your question, although it was obviously not what you were looking for. YOU are the troll in this case. YOU are the rude one.

  Report6 Reply
• rajahmd member

  

  March 2014

  motleygirl18 said:

  Of course you would say she wasn't being rude since you liked all of her posts.  Apparently I am not entitled to think someone is rude even though it was my question.  Trolls coming to the rescue of other trolls! 

  She definitely wasn't being rude. Her first response answered your question, just not in the way you were anticipating. She even told you to have your party celebrating your marriage later- just as long as you don't treat it like a wedding recpetion.
  

  

  Report3 Reply
• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  March 2014

  Someone might be trolling in this thread, but it isn't CMGr nor doeydo. . .
  
  Someone may also be acting like a brat. . .

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

  Report11 Reply
• motleygirl18 member

  

  March 2014

  I didn't ask what a reception was and frankly people who think that you can call it a reception if it happens a day after the wedding can just #$&! off.  All I was asking if two weeks was too long people! For Christ's sake!

  Report0 Reply
• AroundTheBlock member

  

  March 2014

  Actually, you can have a reception any time you want: it is a social event where the hostess "receives" her guests. Most parties where there is substantial entertainment of some sort are called by the name of what you are offering -- a Dinner,  a Dance, a Concert -- so "reception" has come to mean a party where the primary entertainment is mingling and enjoying conversation with the other guests, and if a reception is held in the evening it is often called a "salon". But there really is no rule against calling it a "reception" even if there is dinner and dancing and even if it is in the evening.
  
  In fact, some sort of "At Home" reception has always been one of the first social obligations of a new wife, as it signals to her guests that she still accepts them as friends despite her own change in status. It can be hard to keep your unmarried friends when your responsibilities change, so putting some effort into those friendships and generously proffering hospitality is admirable in you. True etiquette is never about reducing the opportunities for building community and for offering hospitality.
  
  As far as things like wearing white and throwing bouquets go: anything that is rude or silly at an At-Home reception, is rude or silly at a wedding reception. And some things -- like throwing bouquets -- can be silly without being rude. There's no rule against wearing white, and the rule against wearing ballgowns to garden parties or wearing evening gowns during the day, apply just as much to a bride who is holding a reception immediately following her wedding, as much as to a bride who is holding a reception later. What kind of reception were you planning?
  

  Report0 Reply
• SmileDamnit member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  Fine. To answer your question directly - anything over 3 hours (arguably 2 hours) would be too long post-ceremony to have a reception. That would be considered a gap, and a gap is rude.

  
  

  As far a party to celebrate your marriage with friends & family at a later date, I think @CMGragain covered the details of that quite well.

  
  

  **edited for spelling**

  

  Report3 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  March 2014

  OP, there was no reason for you to flip out. I suggest you have a margarita.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report9 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014

  I knew it!  That is why I quoted her.
  

  

  Report3 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014

  motleygirl18 said:

  I didn't ask what a reception was and frankly people who think that you can call it a reception if it happens a day after the wedding can just #$&! off.  All I was asking if two weeks was too long people! For Christ's sake!

  Better quote this little gem, too.  LOL!
  

  

  Report2 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  March 2014

  I still don't understand why you flipped the fuck out, OP.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report2 Reply
• motleygirl18 member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  You knew what exactly? That I am trolling?  Sorry to say that I'm not.  I just wanted an answer (thank you Niccirf) to my question.  Thank you for attempting to answer it and give your further input.  I really do appreciate it, this has just been a very stressful week and your initial response made me very flustered so I do apologize for my previous responses.

  Report0 Reply