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HOLY MOTHER OF BSC

JaniV123JaniV123 member
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in Chit Chat
OH MY GOD! I seriously cannot believe what just happened. FI spent the day with his best friend and his bf's dad. His bf's gf is a little obsessive, controlling and manipulative. They have made it work for 3 years. 

Well apparently her fuse box blew today and since they returned from their trip a little later than she had told him to return she went over to his house (he lives with his parents) and shoved a chocolate cake in his face... IN FRONT of his parents.... all the while screaming at him that he doesnt take her into consideration and that a man is NEVER to stand up his gf.... 

I am appalled... like utterly in shock that someone is actually capable of doing such a thing.... not even something passive aggressive if you are truly that mad. 

they spend basically every single day together... he gets off work and goes to her house until 10-11 and then goes home and wake up to get to work at 6am and repear 6 days a week. then on his off day he spend all day with her. He decided to take a day for himself and have a boys day with his dad and FI and she cannot understand that.

seriously WTF is wrong with people? I cant process that someone could truly go on such a psychotic break!


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Re: HOLY MOTHER OF BSC

  • JaniV123JaniV123 member
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    @chibiyui

    i need a crate of wine bottles!


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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
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    I hope he caught the cake before it hit the ground to eat. What a waste of cake!

    And he needs to dump that BSC woman.

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  • abbyj700abbyj700 member
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    I'm not supporting this woman's actions in any way - just always remember that we never know what happens behind closed doors. Judging others relationships can be tricky. Maybe he has a tendency to lie to her, perhaps he has recently cheated, etc. All things you wouldn't be hearing from him. Again in no way defending her or saying he should stay - but it's always amazing to me the things we don't know we don't know about others relationships. 
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  • CLoGreenEyesCLoGreenEyes member
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    abbyj700 said:
    I'm not supporting this woman's actions in any way - just always remember that we never know what happens behind closed doors. Judging others relationships can be tricky. Maybe he has a tendency to lie to her, perhaps he has recently cheated, etc. All things you wouldn't be hearing from him. Again in no way defending her or saying he should stay - but it's always amazing to me the things we don't know we don't know about others relationships. 
    True enough; there are two sides to every story. But still, shoving cake in the man's face and flipping out like that? Not the best way to handle the situation, even if he did happen to be a lying cheat. There are ways to react to being wronged (or thinking you were wronged) that preserve your dignity, and then there are some that feel good for just a second but ultimately do more damage in the end.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Why would someone waste a perfectly good chocolate cake like that?

    And I am with @abbyj700.  I am not condoning her actions because they were 100% out of line and immature but you are only hearing one side of the story.  No one has any way to really know what is going on in their relationship and how the boyfriend may be acting.

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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
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    abbyj700 said:
    I'm not supporting this woman's actions in any way - just always remember that we never know what happens behind closed doors. Judging others relationships can be tricky. Maybe he has a tendency to lie to her, perhaps he has recently cheated, etc. All things you wouldn't be hearing from him. Again in no way defending her or saying he should stay - but it's always amazing to me the things we don't know we don't know about others relationships. 

    Stuck in the Box

    That's just crazy. I understand that there may be other circumstances involved, but to shove cake in his face in front of his parents is just psycho. Like, Fatal Attraction level of psycho. I really do not see how he can possibly stay with her after that little stunt she pulled. 

    One time my cousins ex through a bowl of hot soup at his face when she found out he had been cheating on her. He owns a store, and she did this in front of one of his employees. Needless to say, the relationship was pretty much over after that.
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
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    edited March 2014
    I expect what happens behind closed doors between the two of them is much worse than that. Probably police-report worse. Please support this man if and when he makes the decision to leave this woman. She is clearly controlling and abusive.


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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
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    banana468 - Oh yea I def think he had it coming. I personally thought the story was pretty hilarious when I heard it. Although I did find her actions a bit extreme, I mean she could have scalded him or something. But I totally think Karma's a bitch who will come back to bite you in the ass one way or another!
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  • RedJacks25RedJacks25 member
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    FI's ex-girlfriend actually maced him once. She was psycho.
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  • SBminiSBmini member
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    I hope he at least got to eat some of the cake.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    HisGirlFriday13 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    Why would someone waste a perfectly good chocolate cake like that?

    And I am with @abbyj700.  I am not condoning her actions because they were 100% out of line and immature but you are only hearing one side of the story.  No one has any way to really know what is going on in their relationship and how the boyfriend may be acting.
    I don't think it matters what's going on behind closed doors or how he's acting -- violence is never the solution. If he's hitting her, he's in the wrong, but her shoving chocolate cake in his face doesn't right his wrong.

    And if he is a lying, cheating, two-timing scumbag, then leave him -- sell his stuff on craigslist or dump it on the front lawn or whatever, but don't physically assault him.

    What if the genders were reversed. What if the MAN had shoved the WOMAN'S face in the cake? Would we all be saying, 'Oh, you don't know what happens behind closed doors?' or we we all be saying, 'Wow, he's an abusive douche-canoe!'
    Did you miss the whole thing of where I said that I do not at all condone her actions?  And that what she did was immature and rude?  All I was saying is that this person is only hearing one side of the story and she has no way of knowing what this person is truly like in the relationship.  So to blame everything on the woman is a bit much.  And actually, if a guy did this and I only heard the girls side of the story I would be wondering the same thing that I am now.  One side of the story is never enough for me.  And I don't count throwing a cake into someones face the same thing as punching or hitting or slapping someone.  Is it juvenile and rude?  Yes?  But to call it domestic abuse?  Not so much.  Not to me anyways.  Same with someone who freaks out and throws a glass of water or a glass of wine onto someone.  It is beyond juvenile but to lump it into the abuse category does not sit right with me.

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  • jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
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    That is insane! I totally get wanting to throw something, or hit, ect your SO but you don't actually do it! Especially over something that little. You just kind of grrrr to yourself and hit a pillow.
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  • abbyj700abbyj700 member
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    edited March 2014
    @HisGirlFriday - I completely get your point. Sometimes when roles are reversed people do see things differently. Having had male friends who were abuse as well as female - the situation is always the same in my mind. But great point. And I have to say I'm with @Maggie0829 on this one. I don't see smashing cake in someone's face as domestic violence. I do think it's kinda odd to go to someone's home and do this - and rude, and shitty. The controlling behavior where he's not allowed out and about is the thing headed to abuse for me. BUT we don't know that he's not allowed out - we know from the OP that they do everything together all the time - and that this chick through a nutty for no reason. It could be signs of abuse or it could be signs of a lot of other things. Hence to my comment. And yes - for all genders, or same gender relationships - I would feel the same. edited for: stupid formatting...that apparently still isn't fixing...
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  • hikebikebemerryhikebikebemerry member
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    When I get angry, I don't think I've ever had the reaction, "I AM SO ANGRY THAT SOMEONE IS GETTING CAKE IN THE FACE."  Clearly this woman was pushed to some sort of break, whether it was by him doing things behind closed doors, her having actual issues, etc.

    FTR, I judge all genders equally for shoving cake in someone else's face.
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  • JaniV123JaniV123 member
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    Well thanks for the support and comments ladies. 

    I have always thought she was very controlling and abusive to him. She insults him in front of his friends and whines and bitches all the time when he doesnt do things the way she wants. He has been FI's best friend forever and I have known him for almost 7 years. He is a sweetheart and he is very ethical. He doesnt condone or believe in cheating. 

    From their conversation last night it appears she has been jealous for a while because back when they started dating they were LDR and he told her he danced with a girl at a party. Ever since she has deemed him untrustworthy. 

    She hates when he goes out with his friend (even if its just FI and me going over to his place to play dominoes) and she puts curfews on him and calls ans texts him incessantly (I have witnessed this). 

    Apparently other than the situation yesterday she is calling him a cheater for masturbating and watching porn. For he that is cheating and she is baffled. They had never talked about that topic so there was literally no way in hell for him to know she considered masturbation cheating. 

    This is all still a blur for me and I cant believe she would actually do what she did. 

    I would like to hear her side of the story as well, but she is not a easy person and I do think she was in the wrong. 


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  • FiancBFiancB member
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    hikebikebemerry said:
    When I get angry, I don't think I've ever had the reaction, "I AM SO ANGRY THAT SOMEONE IS GETTING CAKE IN THE FACE."  Clearly this woman was pushed to some sort of break, whether it was by him doing things behind closed doors, her having actual issues, etc.

    FTR, I judge all genders equally for shoving cake in someone else's face.
    Yes, this. I am sure there is more to the story but I just can't think of a situation where my reaction would be to shove food in someone's face. I'm also not the kind of person that gets the urge to break stuff when mad though. I guess some people are. 
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  • nswearensweare member
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    What the girlfriend did is commit assault. If she and boyfriend lived together, or had a child together, it would be domestic violence. Plain and simple.
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  • ktjanesmomktjanesmom member
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    I think jealousy reared its ugly head.  I think she has some very serious self esteem issues.  Many years ago I could have totally done something like this for exactly those reasons.  Luckily I have matured over the years. I feel bad for both of them.
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
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    JaniV123 said:

    From their conversation last night it appears she has been jealous for a while because back when they started dating they were LDR and he told her he danced with a girl at a party. Ever since she has deemed him untrustworthy. 

    Then why is she still with him?  She could leave.
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  • JaniV123JaniV123 member
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    JaniV123 said:

    From their conversation last night it appears she has been jealous for a while because back when they started dating they were LDR and he told her he danced with a girl at a party. Ever since she has deemed him untrustworthy. 

    Then why is she still with him?  She could leave.
    I asked myselft he same thing!!!


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  • FiancBFiancB member
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    Psht, don't you all know that as soon as you go on your first date you enter into an unbreakable contract and you have to be together forever?
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Honestly, after the additional information I am not at all surprised she felt that shoving cake in her boyfriends face was okay.  Why the hell did your friend stay with her for so long?  A curfew?  I would have kicked her ass to the curb a long time ago.

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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
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    Your friend needs to rid himself of this girl before this turns into some Fatal Attraction shit! A curfew is ridiculous, what is he 10?
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  • AllOnOneDayAllOnOneDay member
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    One fracking, idiotic moron has gotten crap thrown in their face by me.

    1 - It was my now estranged sister.

    2 - I threw a pile of police report about her drug addicted scam artist baby daddy had about him.

    3 - Yes, I was that angry. The fucker threw their toddler against a cinder block wall. She refused to take the baby to the hospital. Or call the police.

    4 - A baby! She had a badly broken arm, broken pelvis, 7 broken ribs, a concussion and a dislocated wrist, elbow and shoulder from when he yanked her up.

    5 - A. BABY. Who weighed 23 pounds vs 260 something.

    6 - An innocent, sweet, adorable baby!!!!! Bitch called me to get her because she wouldn't stop crying or puking SIXTEEN hours later.

    7 - I called the police while speeding the baby 3 blocks to the hospital. I had to get FMIL to drive my parents, fiance and me to the children's hospital 90 minutes away because none of us could calm down enough to drive.

    8 - Pulled reports while waiting for surgery to be over.

    9 - Bitch came over when I was getting clean clothes and flipped out on me for calling the police.

    10 - After 37 hours with no sleep, being furious at them and worrying about the baby, I lost my temper. Threw the loose papers at her, told her skanky ass what I really thought, kicked her outside and filed for custody of the baby.

    Little Miss is now 4 and doing fantastic. She's DF's and my daughter now. If I had to repeat this, I'd throw a sledgehammer at her.

    However, I've not yet been angry enough to throw perfectly good food in anyone's face.
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  • AngusaurAngusaur member
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    .... I'd probably pick it up and be like

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