I thought Prudence gave a good answer. Especially the last sentence!!
Q. Does the Bride Need to Know?: A longtime friend
who lives across the country recently called me up to ask me to be a
bridesmaid. What I wasn't prepared for was the way she went into detail
about why she was asking me. I learned I was a backup because she
demoted one of her original bridesmaids and critiqued her behavior. I
accepted, although admittedly my feelings are a little hurt that I
wasn't a first choice. After we hung up I realized her wedding is nine
months away. My husband and I are trying to start a family, so it's
possible that I may not be able to make the trip for her wedding. Would
it be better to let her know now and decline to be a bridesmaid, or
should I wait until I'm actually pregnant and go from there? I do
treasure our friendship and would love to be part of her wedding day if
possible.
A: Given that you got an earful about how the
previous bridesmaid failed in her duties, do be prepared for what's
going to be expected during this long march. However, you are not
required to announce your reproductive plans to your friend. If you get
pregnant right away and the wedding will potentially coincide with your
labor, then you alert your friend. I have heard from several pregnant
bridesmaids who have been reamed out by angry brides over how
inconsiderate they were not to use birth control during the time leading
up to the bride's nuptials. These situations do make me wish that when
the pregnant bridesmaid sways down the aisle her water breaks and she
steals the show.