Registry and Gift Forum

Showers and gifts

I don't want a bridal shower nor wedding gifts. (We already live together and have for 4 years now) And we are buying a house after recouping our savings from the wedding about this time next year so not even sure of decor and such for our new place. Is it just assumed if there is not registry info anywhere on our site, etc that we are declining gifts? I'm not trying to be rude, but I feel it would be wasteful for anyone to get us any of the "traditional registry" stuff or even have a bridal shower.
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Re: Showers and gifts

  • If you don't have a registry, most people will assume you want cash. A few will probably buy you something else, but that's okay. If you don't want gifts, don't have a shower. The whole point of a shower is to give gifts. If you still want to get together with friends and family, just call it a tea or luncheon.
    Gina0887doeydo
  • Does it come off as wanting cash when not giving any registry info and saying you are not having a bridal shower? I really just want them to come enjoy the day with us (most are out of state). 
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  •  Generally, if you have no registry, and aren't having a bridal shower, most people will assume you'd prefer cash, and a few will likely still bring gifts. I don't know the proper etiquette on letting guests know that you would prefer they 'just bring themselves'. Maybe something to post on the etiquette board? 

     The downside to no registry, (if you're not able to somehow let guests know that you don't want/need anything), is that depending on where you live, some areas are well known for gifts vs cash. So you could end up with a bunch of gifts that you don't need/want. (Depending on the type of 'gift-givers' they are).  My H & I also didn't purchase our new house until post wedding, & pretty much have everything, & still made a registry. You can always register for nice towels, spare bedding, kitchen utensils or a nice knife set, bakeware, etc. Things that anyone can use extra of, and it's not 'decor dependant.' Just to have a few things for those gift givers to choose from. (That's if you can't find a way to get the 'no gifts' thing out there). 

     Good luck! :)

     *J
    Gina0887
  • It doesn't come off as necessarily wanting cash, but I would never attend a wedding without bringing a gift. If you register, I'll look at that. If not, I'll write a check. If I know you really well, I'll go off registry and make something or pick out something more personal or sentimental.  This is because a wedding is a really big deal and I'm so happy for the couple, so I give a gift as a token of my love and support for their marriage. I understand there's no obligation to give gifts. I just really like doing it! Many people feel the same way.

    doeydoGina0887
  • edited March 2014
    You just can't write anything in invitations about not wanting gifts, because that implies you expected them. If anyone asks you or your family what you want or about registries, you can spread the word that you don't need anything and are just looking forward to seeing people at the wedding.

    ETA: But some people will still give money/gifts. Weddings are to most people a gift-giving occasion and they will feel rude not bringing something. Just be gracious and write nice thank-you notes for anything you do receive, of course.
    image
    doeydoGina0887
  • Thank you ladies for your input!
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