I've been reading lots of threads about changing/not changing your name. The more I read, the less I know what I want to do. FI says that he's ok with whatever I choose but it had never occurred to him that I might not change my name. In my social circle, it never occurred to people that I would.
My last name is very simple to spell but long. It's also very unique- there are only about 50 us in the world and they're all somehow related to me. That said, other than my immediate family, I don't know anyone personally who shares my last name (my dad's a genealogy buff). I love my name but also love the idea of sharing a name. Changing his name is not an option for a variety of reasons, which I support.
My mom kept her maiden name professionally but used her married name socially. When she hit 65 she found out that was illegal- something to do with Homeland Security or something like that. At 67, she uses her married name.
My sister planned to change her name then never did. She probably never will. Their daughter has her husband's name.
FI's name is easier than mine. I have established a career with my name but other than the administrative hassle, it wouldn't be a difficult change. We also plan to have a kid together at some point.
On top of all of that, FI also has a son who lives with us full-time who has his last name. Future stepson has a lot of school/social issues (though a wonderful kid that I love!) and his mom sees him a few weekends a month but takes the time to create endless behavioral and legal issues. Because of this, there is a lot of communication with counselors, school administrators, and various legal/social services folks regarding him. FI of course does the majority of it but, quite frankly, I'm just better at handling these things. However, as a person who looks nothing like him (pale redhead marrying into a Mexican family) and has a different name, I'm met with a lot of suspicion. Son will be 18 in a few years so this won't be a permanent issue but it's still a considerable hassle.
I'm not going to please everyone with the decision I make but I'm completely confused!
Based on everything I've spelled out, what do you think?