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Ugh...

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
One of my best friends went through a rough patch a few months ago and used substances (both legal and illegal) to cope, eventually resulting in a DUI. I live in a “party” city where I moved last year for a job. She and a mutual friend expressed interest in coming to visit, and she told me she was getting out of probation early. She’s been having money trouble so I bought her plane ticket. They came, they partied, and they spent most nights blackout drunk despite my talking to them about their behavior. It would be an embarrassing and regret filled weekend, if they could remember. I found out after she left that she had not gotten off probation early (in fact her probation was twice as long as she had revealed), or told her officer she would be leaving the state. She also was not supposed to be drinking while on probation. I now feel like an accomplice to her crimes, especially because I purchased the ticket, but also because I now know she really needs more help and supervision. Neither her parents nor our friends see this as an issue. Should I contact her probation officer anonymously and tell her what happened (I have Facebook photos to prove it), try to get her help in some way, or sweep it under the rug like everyone else?

—Don’t Have Another
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Re: Ugh...

  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    She knows there are drugs in prison, right? I mean, what's that going to do for this woman, really? 

    I wouldn't call the PO. I also wouldn't be friends with her anymore. What did the OP think was going to happen when her addict friend came to her "party town", anyway? It's not her *fault*, but she should have known better, and she should know that no one's going to fix this friend except the friend. 
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  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Yeah, the US prison system isn't really known for its rehabilitation successes.
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  • PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    Conn - this totally sounds like an episode of Girls. I think you need to have an intervention with your friend, her older boyfriend from rehab, and the guy's adult daughter. 

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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Only if Shoshanna can be there, Barbie.  ;) 
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  • Hisprinc3ssHisprinc3ss member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    If this person was a friend to you, they wouldn't have lied to now make you an "accomplice" Everything that is done in dark eventually comes to light. You don't have to worry about telling the P.O. However if it gives you peace, do what you feel is necessary.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    BANZAI!
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  • Rikki_5Rikki_5 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    I thought this board was about wedding woes?  Anyways, no—why would you tattle on your friend for drinking probation or not?  She’s an adult who will learn one day, perhaps a DUI wasn’t enough for her to face her alcoholism problems but she doesn’t need a supposed friend selling her out to her PO.  Maybe you should find some new friends.
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  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yeah, mrs.conn - -maybe you SHOULD find some new friends!!!!!1!!
    �
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @Rikki_5, please note the 'Dear Prudence' that happens to be the first line of the post then get back to us.

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