Am I just being overly sensitive about this bachelorette party?

ashley8918 · March 2014

So, I was invited to my fiance's best friend's fiance's (There is probably an easier way to say that...) bachelorette party. I wouldn't consider her a friend, but rather an acquaintance. I do like her, but she is quite a bit older than me and I don't know ANY of her friends, so I was a bit uncomfortable accepting the invitation. Regardless, My fiance is in the wedding party, so I felt obligated to attend. I received a pretty generic invite with a time, date (today, 3/22) and address and promptly sent my RSVP.

Well, today (THE DAY OF THE PARTY) I got a Facebook invite to her Pampered Chef bachelorette party, wherein the description stated, "Have a fun night shopping for the new couple and yourself with all your girls!"

Am I wrong to be peeved about this? I already gave a gift at the bridal shower a few months ago (no thank you thus far), and plan on a cash wedding gift, but now i'm expected to buy them something from Pampered Chef, too? And on top of that, no one was informed that it was this type of party until today, the day of.

Artemischief · March 2014

That's pretty rude. I'd be upset about it, and may or may not have "an emergency that I have to take care of right away."

Simply Fated · March 2014

Awww, hun! Too bad you ate that bad shrimp last night. Those raw oysters and... undercooked chicken couldn't have helped, either. Stupid food poisoning! Now you'll have to miss the super fun party. Oh well, get plenty of rest and keep hydrated!

ashley8918 · March 2014

Oh,apparently it's a combined Pampered Chef and It Works wrap party. Fun!

QueridaSara · March 2014

Yah, you can put me on the roster of #teamoffended

AddieCake · March 2014

Yep, I'd be suddenly ill for that.

ashley8918 · March 2014

You know, now that you mention it, I am feeling pretty nauseous. (Never mind that the party itself is probably the cause, haha)

classyduck · March 2014

Pfft. I wouldn't go. Or I would go and not buy anything, but that sounds like no fun at all. I've also never been to a pampered chef party so I don't know how big a faux pas it is to not buy anything.

jalyndani · March 2014

Aw, too bad you have to study/finish a work assignment/meet with your CPA tonight for that test/big project/tax assessment TOMORROW MORNING. Guess you'll have to miss out!

(Sometimes it really is a blessing to be a student in another state. The "sorry, I have to study" excuse comes in handy quite often.)

TeamOffended? Eh not really. More like TeamAreYouFckingKiddingMe. The day of? On Facebook? Pfft. I hope 2 people show up and not buy anything.

ashley8918 · March 2014

classyduck said:

Pfft. I wouldn't go. Or I would go and not buy anything, but that sounds like no fun at all. I've also never been to a pampered chef party so I don't know how big a faux pas it is to not buy anything.

I generally avoid these types of parties because I don't feel comfortable not buying anything. I'm not really sure if not buying something is frowned upon, but I definitely am not comfortable doing it.

classyduck · March 2014

ashley8918 said:

classyduck said:

Pfft. I wouldn't go. Or I would go and not buy anything, but that sounds like no fun at all. I've also never been to a pampered chef party so I don't know how big a faux pas it is to not buy anything.

I generally avoid these types of parties because I don't feel comfortable not buying anything. I'm not really sure if not buying something is frowned upon, but I definitely am not comfortable doing it.

Agreed.

Amyzen83 · March 2014

Hun, I think you have every right to feel weirded out by this! It totally oozes gift grab especially since you aren't really close with this woman.

cruffino · March 2014

Since they are ok with the last minute bait and switch, I'm comfortable with the last minute decline.

HisGirlFriday13 · March 2014

I'm solidly on #TeamOffended and #TeamAreYouFeckingKiddingMe.

I'd be ill. Actually, I might even just say, 'I got the Pampered Chef invite. So sorry I can't come,' and proffer no excuse.

People who are blatantly rude and gift-grabby do not deserve polite responses.

pinkshorts27 · March 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I'm solidly on #TeamOffended and #TeamAreYouFeckingKiddingMe. I'd be ill. Actually, I might even just say, 'I got the Pampered Chef invite. So sorry I can't come,' and proffer no excuse. People who are blatantly rude and gift-grabby do not deserve polite responses.

This.

netskyblue2 · March 2014

I would have politely declined just on the basis of her being a mere acquaintance. I got an invite via facebook to my cousin's fiancee's bachelorette party, and I've only met her a few times at family get togethers. "Thanks, but I have plans that evening. Have a great time!"

wrigleyville · March 2014

I'm with @HisGirlFriday (as usual). I would just say, "I got the revised invitation today. I'm sorry, but I'm unable to participate," and leave it at that.

wrigleyville · March 2014

scribe95 said:

I am not a fan of the way this was handled but at the same time I assume you knew you would be spending some money at a bachelorette party, which often is dinner, drinks, comedy clubs - whatever. So I would go and buy something small and move on. Maybe the bride didn't even know.

Nope. Spending money on dinner and drinks is buying stuff for yourself.

This is a shower disguised as a bachelorette party, which really chafes me. It's totally different.

It's the principle of it moreso than the money issue.

MairePoppy · March 2014

ashley8918 said:

classyduck said:

Pfft. I wouldn't go. Or I would go and not buy anything, but that sounds like no fun at all. I've also never been to a pampered chef party so I don't know how big a faux pas it is to not buy anything.

I generally avoid these types of parties because I don't feel comfortable not buying anything. I'm not really sure if not buying something is frowned upon, but I definitely am not comfortable doing it.

The hostess usually says, 'Just come, you don't have to buy anything', but I definitely feel like it's frowned upon by the sales person. Some of them are so pushy. I wouldn't show up for this. The stomach bug is a good excuse, no one ever wants to hear the details about that.

HisGirlFriday13 · March 2014

wrigleyville said:

scribe95 said:

I am not a fan of the way this was handled but at the same time I assume you knew you would be spending some money at a bachelorette party, which often is dinner, drinks, comedy clubs - whatever. So I would go and buy something small and move on. Maybe the bride didn't even know.

Nope. Spending money on dinner and drinks is buying stuff for yourself.

This is a shower disguised as a bachelorette party, which really chafes me. It's totally different.

It's the principle of it moreso than the money issue.

I'm with wrigley. For me, it's the principle of bait-and-switch.

If I'm invited to a bachelorette party, I expect to chip in for the bride's dinner and drinks, and buy my own drinks. I do not anticipate having to buy over-priced kitchen gadgets.

Also, if the b-party involves a comedy club or a show, you're told that in advance and can budget for it accordingly. There's no way I'd go to a party where I'm expected to buy over-priced kitchen stuff that I can't even see the list of beforehand.

What if the bride picked a list of PC stuff and it's all our of my price range and then I go there and can't afford anything and I feel cheap? No, thanks.

Invitations aren't subpoenas, but they're also final. You can't change the parameters of an event after people have RSVP'd and expect them to still come and/or be OK with the change.

phira · March 2014

Yeah, this is a bait and switch. "Sorry" to hear you're suddenly "ill," OP!

climbingsingle · March 2014

That's some bullshit right there. No way would I attend. How freaking rude!

antoto · March 2014

Beyond this being massively distasteful...

Who in their right mind would pass up going out on the town and have an awkward party where uncomfortable women pick out things to buy for you from a magazine. CRAZY PANTS.

classyduck · March 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I'm solidly on #TeamOffended and #TeamAreYouFeckingKiddingMe. I'd be ill. Actually, I might even just say, 'I got the Pampered Chef invite. So sorry I can't come,' and proffer no excuse. People who are blatantly rude and gift-grabby do not deserve polite responses.

I'm glad someone suggested declining without a lie/excuse. No need for one.

hyechica81 · March 2014

you could have said at the party omg i had no idea it was a pampered chef party and act like you did not check your facebook. dont feel obligated to purchase anything for her or you very rude of the host to do this. or you could come up with an illness like others mentioned

classyduck · March 2014

hyechica81 said:

you could have said at the party omg i had no idea it was a pampered chef party and act like you did not check your facebook. dont feel obligated to purchase anything for her or you very rude of the host to do this. or you could come up with an illness like others mentioned

Facebook likes for their users' readings to be un-private. So poster will know who has read the event, ignorance is not an option.

Don't bother with lame excuses. Just decline honestly, like this:

"No."

See? Easy. End of story. No fakey excuse or white lie needed.

ashley8918 · March 2014

antoto said:

Beyond this being massively distasteful...

Who in their right mind would pass up going out on the town and have an awkward party where uncomfortable women pick out things to buy for you from a magazine. CRAZY PANTS.

Well, she's pregnant, so I knew it wouldn't be the "typical" bachelorette party.

banana468 · March 2014

So what did you do?

ashley8918 · March 2014

banana468 said:

So what did you do?

I ended up just giving a "sorry, something came up." which was true, something did come up: the party became a pampered chef party.

She did end up sending a message the everyone who got the Facebook invite to apologize for the pampered chef business though. Apparently, her MOH planned the party before she knew that she was pregnant (the bride) and had to change it pretty quickly. The bride was not aware of what it had changed to until the day of and wasn't comfortable with it either.

doeydo · March 2014

You could go and buy something for yourself and nothing for the couple.

Weesh · March 2014

ashley8918 said:

banana468 said:

So what did you do?

I ended up just giving a "sorry, something came up." which was true, something did come up: the party became a pampered chef party.

She did end up sending a message the everyone who got the Facebook invite to apologize for the pampered chef business though. Apparently, her MOH planned the party before she knew that she was pregnant (the bride) and had to change it pretty quickly. The bride was not aware of what it had changed to until the day of and wasn't comfortable with it either.

That's tough on both ends. Her MOH may have had something planned, but having to change it may have left her scrambling. Maybe she thought the Pampered Chef party would be easier or a better options. It stinks for the bride that she didn't find out until the day of, and felt uncomfortable about it. I would have declined the party also.

Am I just being overly sensitive about this bachelorette party?

Re: Am I just being overly sensitive about this bachelorette party?

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