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Time & planning for the rehersal & rehersal dinner

BecauseYouAreBecauseYouAre member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm trying to plan the Rehersal/Rehersal Dinner. It will be the day before the wedding, Friday. We can have the church any time between 1:30pm - 4pm or 6pm - 8pm I was told by the church that the rehersals run 30 - 45 minutes. Most of the WP will be staying at the hotel and check in is after 3. The church is literally a 5 minute walk from the hotel so I think most people will keep their cars in the hotel lot. We have 3 ideas for the rehersal dinner. 

- A caual restaurant also within walking distance - all incusive all we have to do is book, we must be out by 7:30pm. Costly we would have to limit additional guests. 3ish rehersal early dinner immediately after.
-We have 2 adjoining suites in the hotel. We can host a casual meal there, probably pizza & finger foods. Least expensive. Limits guests to WP, immediate family and SOs. No time constraints.
-A Local Brewery 15 minutes away we can rent the space and they provide the beer at a pp cost. We would have food and soft drinks catered. Only avaible after 8pm. Can both afford to and have room to host all OOT guests, and aunts uncles and cousins. Rehersal at 7ish dinner at 8.

We would be happy with any of those options I'm just wondering what you ladies think is best for the sake of the WP & guests.
And also is 30-45 minutes accurate for the rehersal? It's a Catholic Mass.


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Re: Time & planning for the rehersal & rehersal dinner

  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
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    edited March 2014
    I would not want to eat dinner at 8pm. That is too late for me. I would do it, but I would be cranky about it.

    I would probably do the casual meal at the suites or find a restaurant with no time constraints. 

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  • jnissajnissa member
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    Just as a personal preference, when we were planning ours, we thought rehearsal dinner was a nice excuse to get people out of the hotel for a while - so your number one option sounds best. People are going to be spending a lot of time in the hotel during the course of the weekend. Changes of scenery can be nice. 

    Honestly, until a few people mentioned it on this thread, I've never heard of inviting all OOT guests and extended family to rehearsal dinner. In my experience, usually that dinner is a chance for the wedding party to bond and a bit of an extra thank-you for all of the money and effort most bridal party members put in. Then if you want to provide some evening sustenance for OOT guests who may not have anything to do that night you provide an open bar and some smaller food later in the evening (after dinner hours). 

    Which is essentially what we're doing. Rehearsal is at 6pm, dinner is 5 blocks away at 7pm and then we're opening the bar up and putting out tapas at 9pm for anybody OOT who wants an evening snack or a chance to socialize. 


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  • BecauseYouAreBecauseYouAre member
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    Thanks for the input. I know none of the above are perfect. Still looking for other options. But for now those are our 3 best options. Budget, space and wanting to avoid the rowdyness of friday night in a college town is not on our sides right now. 
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    If it's a Catholic Mass, I'd leave about an hour for the rehearsal. That's how long ours ran and we didn't have a full rehearsal.

    I agree with PPs that 8 p.m. is later than I want to eat. I would do it, but I'd be cranky about it.

    I like options 1 or 2 best. I wouldn't at all object to having it in the hotel where we're staying. If DH and I were invited to your wedding, whichever of us was in the wedding would hang out at the hotel until the rehearsal was over and then turn up for the RD.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • jenna8984jenna8984 member
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    What time is your wedding the next day? If it's at noon and you have to start hair & makeup at 8am then I wouldn't want the 8pm dinner but if it's more like starting hair at 1pm that would not be so bad. 
    I have also never seen the rehearsal include OOT guests, so I prefer the first two options to keeping it small and simple and intimate so you can really spend time with these people since you won't really get to at the wedding. 

                                                                     

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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 member
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    I like your first option - can your rehearsal be at 4 actually? Or must end at 4? Maybe a 3 pm rehearsal and people can gather at the restaurant at 4:30 for drinks before dinner actually is served at 5 or 5:15.

    I just posted on CC about a RD that was inviting 80-100 people.. yikes! Like you guys, I've never heard of inviting all your OOT guests for another "reception"!

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  • cruffinocruffino member
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    I would do rehearsal at 6p and casual dinner at hotel at 7p. Most of the folks in my rehearsal had to work that day, so doing it at 3p would have required people to take time off work, which would have been an issue.

    Also, I like casual rehearsal dinners to contrast the formality of the wedding.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    I like the first two options as they allow for some flexibility.  I agree that starting dinner at 8pm is late.
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  • BecauseYouAreBecauseYouAre member
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    jenna8984 said:
    What time is your wedding the next day? If it's at noon and you have to start hair & makeup at 8am then I wouldn't want the 8pm dinner but if it's more like starting hair at 1pm that would not be so bad. 
    I have also never seen the rehearsal include OOT guests, so I prefer the first two options to keeping it small and simple and intimate so you can really spend time with these people since you won't really get to at the wedding. 
    We're starting hair at 12 noon. 
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  • BecauseYouAreBecauseYouAre member
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    edited March 2014
    cruffino said:
    I would do rehearsal at 6p and casual dinner at hotel at 7p. Most of the folks in my rehearsal had to work that day, so doing it at 3p would have required people to take time off work, which would have been an issue. Also, I like casual rehearsal dinners to contrast the formality of the wedding.
    That was my bigest concern over the early rehersal and why I thought 8 may work out. Buy ghe time people get out of work head over to the hotel check in I was thinking of starting the rehersal around 6:30 at the earliest in that case.
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  • BecauseYouAreBecauseYouAre member
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    Sugargirl1019 said:
    I like your first option - can your rehearsal be at 4 actually? Or must end at 4? Maybe a 3 pm rehearsal and people can gather at the restaurant at 4:30 for drinks before dinner actually is served at 5 or 5:15. I just posted on CC about a RD that was inviting 80-100 people.. yikes! Like you guys, I've never heard of inviting all your OOT guests for another "reception"!
    Wow no not 80-100! We're looking at 20 for WP, immediate family and SOs. If all the OOTs come not only to the wedding but the  RD that's another 20, aunts, uncles and cousin 14 so maybe 55 but I'm assuming about 40-45 but 55 max. Our wedding guest list stands at 223 presently. I know more than WP & SOs is not required for RD invites but FI's Family is very close and most live nearby and since FILs are kindly gifting us the RD I though it would be a good idea to include those loved ones. And in my family it's a kind gesture to OOT extend the invite to those that are traveling a long distance. 

    And we have to be out of the church promptly at 4 for an afternoon rehersal. 
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  • cruffinocruffino member
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    BecauseYouAre said:


    cruffino said:

    I would do rehearsal at 6p and casual dinner at hotel at 7p. Most of the folks in my rehearsal had to work that day, so doing it at 3p would have required people to take time off work, which would have been an issue.

    Also, I like casual rehearsal dinners to contrast the formality of the wedding.

    That was my bigest concern over the early rehersal and why I thought 8 may work out. Buy ghe time people get out of work head over to the hotel check in I was thinking of starting the rehersal around 6:30 at the earliest in that case.

    That sounds totally reasonable, especially since you don't need to start getting ready til noon.
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