Proposal Idea!!!

brzchris · March 2014

Sooo i want to propose to my girlfriend some time around the end of April-Beginning of march (a quick summary of us,im 21 shes 20 I met her last June at a church event that i was invited to! and i fell in love with her on the first day! and she helped me turn my life around, shes the greatest present God has given me in my life! .....but anyways just to wrap things up we are both heavily involved with our church and we our currently doing seminary-bible college as we both want to become missionaries in Africa!........ so because of this our relationship was a little more strict than normal we had to go through a process called "courting" which basically means only hand holding till your engaged xO

but anyways onto the Proposal idea!

SO i was planning on doing it at my house after church on sunday morning i was going to bring her in through the back of my house entering through the lanai and going straight to the kitchen there i would have cooked her a wonderful romantic meal ( filet migon entree and wine with dessert! ) after that we would go outside and i would have a little "trail" set up , so the first stop on the trail would be at this oak tree in my back yard i was going to carve a heart and our names in it(maybe painting it with wood paint) and i was going to hang a bunch of our pictures from the branches around the tree! next i would walk down over to the gate to the front which has a passion fruit vine growing on it, there i was going to put a bunch of little cute notes on each fruit that would be hanging, next we would walk down to my mailbox and inside there would be a huge love letter for her to read! from there we would walk up the driveway and to my front door, noe there will be a small wooden chest thats painted in her favorite color with a key inside,inside the box will say "the key to my heart" and this key will open the front door, then in the foyer i would put http://img.alibaba.com/img/pb/817/935/504/504935817_630.jpg http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDYwMA==/z/Q6wAAOxyDgRQ-N4U/$T2eC16JHJGoE9nuQeWR7BQ-N4U)Fb!~~60_35.JPG something like those hearts in those pictures and i would pit the ring in the middle , then i would grab the ring kneel down and propose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FYI im not seeking anyones approval I could honestly care less about it, but i do want to hear your opinions,insight, new ideas, things i could do differently

soo im sorry guys for the bad punctuation and for any other mistakes its kind of late, i would love to her back from you guys your thoughts if you have any suggestions feel free to leave feedback! I thank you and really appreciate your time to have read this!!!!!

Blue & White · March 2014

I've never heard of going to "bible school" before you had a bachelors. So I call bs.

I also don't think your proposal idea is original so I don't know why you would need approval from Internet strangers?

Swazzle · March 2014

I really didn't want to open this because of the yelling and all the exclamation points in the title.

I second @Blue's question: why do you need approval from internet strangers?

Personally, that all would be too much for me. Especially the "key to my heart" bit. I would likely gag and/or giggle at the cheesiness.

brzchris · March 2014

well its not through an established school or college, its a 2 year seminary course through my church (we have over 1,000 churches throughout the world) and you dont need to have a degree to serve God, my GF is a perfect example from Brazil and she was halfway through of getting her degree when she gave up everything she had family,school, all of her possesions to come to the U.S. because she had a calling from God

and im not seeking approval i could care less! nor was i seeking to be original, just looking to see opinions and others thoughts on it, i have hopes to get more insight on it, and new ideas or what i could do differently

thank you for your sincere reply it is very appreciated

brzchris · March 2014

Thank you for your reply @swazzle and @twodimes

So far this has been to say the least, edifying
And I apologize for my terrible spelling and grammar :P

I did think about doing something a little more simpler with nicer scenery but I live in Ft. Myers Fl and there's not really anything like that around here, at least not that I know of

mbross3 · March 2014

If you want to propose to your GF, my recommendation is to do it simply. What you have planned sounds like too much. I can tell that you really want your proposal to be special, but the way to do that is to sit down and think about your GF and what she likes. All of what you've said so far just screams of googling "what do women want in a proposal". If you're going to ask your GF to marry you, you should know her well enough to make this more personal to her. Trust me when I say that she will appreciate that much more than 100 candles laid out in a heart shape. Just sit down with her and tell her why you want to marry her.

I would also leave out the wine since she is apparently too young to drink.

Now, that's my recommendation to anyone who wants to propose to their SO. In your case I seriously question whether this is stemming from a real desire to marry your GF, or whether it might come from the fact that you "can't do more than hold hands" until you get engaged. Honestly I have never understood the reasoning behind only "allowing" adults to engage in certain, prescribed behavior before marriage, and I think that this attitude leads to many rushed marriages. You two have only been dating since June and you are very young. What is your hurry? Please seriously take some time to consider this question, because what you are about to do is commit the rest of your life to someone, so you better fully understand your reasoning.

Blackbird230 · March 2014

That's just too much. Simplify. By a lot.

Dignity100 · March 2014

I agree with the others - waaay too much.

If you want my proposal story, FI and I sat down and talked about getting married which the talk turned into 'let's go ring shopping'. We decided and picked everything out together. He never really asked me to marry him, we discussed and decided together.

Had he done something special to "ask me"; I probably would have liked something extremely simple. At a restaurant or doing an activity that we both enjoy (hiking, cycling, walking around the zoo). I do not like a lot of attention, so I wouldn't have wanted a ton of people around.

brzchris · March 2014

Thanks for your awesome reply!!! @mbross3 God is the center of our relationship and trust me when I say that my desire for asking her to marry me is so much more than physical desire, I have conviction that we are meant to help each other fulfill Gods purpose in our lives! I don't wanna get spiritual on you guys but you know that's how it is for us

Thanks for all the replies it was really helpful!

In the end this was just an idea( one of many ) the more I think about it the more I see it not working out , besides it's not like I already started preparing it and buying stuff to do it

phira · March 2014

Leaving out my personal opinions about religion, especially restrictions on sexual contact--

I would 1) simplify the crap out of your proposal, and 2) wait to propose.

1) As much as I appreciate a sweet proposal story, I am extremely uncomfortable with elaborately staged and obsessively planned proposals. When you're putting something like that together, as other posters have mentioned, it feels much more like you're doing it for the elaborate proposal story and NOT out of love for your partner.

Not only that, but often, elaborate proposals early in relationships carry this undertone of, "I'm afraid that my partner will say no." Many engagement stories you'll hear are ones that happen after two people have talked about marriage, and/or gone ring shopping together, and many proposals are simply a formality. In your case, it sounds like you're going over the top because you're not doing this as a formality--you're trying your best to get a "yes."

So, simplify the crap out of it. Just cooking a nice dinner and popping the question would be romantic and sweet.

But ...

2) Nothing you've said actually indicates that you want to marry your partner besides the fact that you're unable to engage in any remotely sexual activity until you're engaged (and even then, I assume, you're restricted to kissing?). You are both extremely young, even if you don't FEEL extremely young, and you've been dating for a very short period of time, even if you don't FEEL like you've been dating for a short period of time.

Not only that, but you pretty much lost me at love at first sight. There's so much about people that we don't learn about when we first meet them, and so often, we fall in love when we spend time with someone and learn about them and what makes them unique. Just as we meet people and become friends with them, and come to love them platonically after a period of time, the same goes for romantic love. You might like someone and be attracted to them immediately, but at first sight, it's impossible to truly love someone.

So, I would wait. Wait until you know each other better. Wait until you know what you both really want out of life; it's all too easy to parrot back another person's desires. Wait until you're marrying someone because you love them and not because you're not allowed to make out yet.

brzchris · March 2014

Well i couldnt give you guys a complete story on my relationship with her, that would take to long , I say love at first sight as a figure of speech , not literally of course, and for what we both want out of life is the essentially the same thing, all our hopes and dreams align and support each other

And we have been discussing marriage for quite a while now and went ring shopping and what not, like as of this moment I already feel engaged to her and the proposal is just a formality like you stated

I was only looking on strictly discussing the proposal idea instead of talking about my maturity I appreciate your concern though but I've decided to do something else as I stated before

thank you for your reply @phira

GoldenPenguin · March 2014

IrishDreamer · March 2014

brzchris said:
Thank you for your reply @swazzle and @twodimes

So far this has been to say the least, edifying
And I apologize for my terrible spelling and grammar :P

I did think about doing something a little more simpler with nicer scenery but I live in Ft. Myers Fl and there's not really anything like that around here, at least not that I know of

Are you out of your ever loving mind??? Considering I live in that same area- you must be ridiculous. There is so much amazing scenery.

As for the whole thing. Slow your roll. I got married at 19 and it was very wrong. You haven't grown into who you both are as individuals.

I also think it's cheesy as hell.......

Basically I call shenanigans on this whole post.

Blue & White · March 2014

My brother got engaged in Ft Myers...I've seen the pictures...scenery was beautiful. So again, I call BS.

Actually, I think my sister got engaged in Ft Myers too. It's amazing how much love is in that town, sheesh.

How about this question, though? If you're both in this seminary program, have you thought about finances for or after the wedding? Life isn't cheap, and I assume you don't live together if you're only holding hands. Rent in Ft Myers isn't particularly cheap either. I'm not saying you need to answer this question to US, but you should probably discuss it with HER.

IrishDreamer · March 2014

Blue & White said:
My brother got engaged in Ft Myers...I've seen the pictures...scenery was beautiful. So again, I call BS.

Actually, I think my sister got engaged in Ft Myers too. It's amazing how much love is in that town, sheesh.

How about this question, though? If you're both in this seminary program, have you thought about finances for or after the wedding? Life isn't cheap, and I assume you don't live together if you're only holding hands. Rent in Ft Myers isn't particularly cheap either. I'm not saying you need to answer this question to US, but you should probably discuss it with HER.

So does this mean you're in my neck of the woods from time to time?? :-)

Also, I agree with blues point. Life ain't cheap, and in this area because of all the tourists, yeaaaaah..... No.

Also, being a missionary requires a lot of time, energy and work- and is stressful on a relationship

Hummingbird125 · March 2014

brzchris said: trust me when I say that my desire for asking her to marry me is so much more than physical desire My desire to marry my FI is entirely physical desire for his smokin' hot bod. I have friends like @swazzle, @buddysmom80, and @brisox81 for everything else.

That's all I have to add.

GoldenPenguin · March 2014

Hummingbird125 said:

brzchris said:

trust me when I say that my desire for asking her to marry me is so much more than physical desire

My desire to marry my FI is entirely physical desire for his smokin' hot bod. I have friends like @swazzle, @buddysmom80, and @brisox81 for everything else.

That's all I have to add.

Swazzle · March 2014

I miss @buddysmom80

Hummingbird125 · March 2014

I miss participating in fun threads like this. However, my boss is out today and I'm taking a break from bothering my new coworkers for help, so....here I am :-)

Blue & White · March 2014

@Irishdreamer my bro is by you all the time. I legit have only visited him once since college because we normally meet in the middle haha. He's not even getting married in Ft Myers. He's getting married in Orlando. Go figure.

buddysmom80 · March 2014

Swazzle said:
I miss @buddysmom80

I miss you guys too!!! OP your proposal idea is HORRIBLE. That's all I have.

IrishDreamer · March 2014

Blue & White said:
@Irishdreamer my bro is by you all the time. I legit have only visited him once since college because we normally meet in the middle haha. He's not even getting married in Ft Myers. He's getting married in Orlando. Go figure.

We shall need to remedy this... MORE Florida girl G2Gs!!!!! @ollie08, this means you too!!!

Swazzle · March 2014

buddysmom80 said:

I miss @buddysmom80
I miss you guys too!!! OP your proposal idea is HORRIBLE. That's all I have.

WHO KNOTS FROM THEIR VACATION IN ROME? YOU'RE A FREAK!

AuroraRose41 · March 2014

brzchris said:

Well i couldnt give you guys a complete story on my relationship with her, that would take to long , I say love at first sight as a figure of speech , not literally of course, and for what we both want out of life is the essentially the same thing, all our hopes and dreams align and support each other And we have been discussing marriage for quite a while now and went ring shopping and what not, like as of this moment I already feel engaged to her and the proposal is just a formality like you stated I was only looking on strictly discussing the proposal idea instead of talking about my maturity I appreciate your concern though but I've decided to do something else as I stated before thank you for your reply @phira

You are 21, she is 20, you haven't even known her for a year and you have had serious life discussions? I am not trying to be judgemental here, as I am not much older than you are (I will be 23 next week and SO will be 24 in May), however, I definitely didn't have my life figured out at age 20/21. I moved across the country for a job recently that I never even would have dreamed was possible at age 20. SO and I didn't even start having serious conversations until we had been together for 2 years and we both had stable jobs in the same metro area (he found a job near me a few months later). And when I say serious conversations, I mean everything: careers, what type of house each of us would want, views on children and family, marriage, religious views, etc.

The point of my anecdote is that I agree with PP in that you are very young, and a lot can change in the next few years, even hopes and dreams. It sounds like you do a lot of traveling, and that could also be very difficult to do while planning a wedding. And honestly, if she truly is the love of your life, and feels the same way about you, then what's the rush? She will be around still in a few years if it's meant to be, and it gives both of you time to figure out your lives a little more.

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