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Wedding Etiquette Forum
HisGirlFriday13
member
Etiquette vent -- Yes, YOUR wedding is OBVIOUSLY the most important thing in MY life
DH has a co-worker who is getting married in June.
It's a DW. At a beach. In a very, very popular vacation destination. On a Tuesday. At a location that is either an 8- to 10- hour drive, or a really inconvenient four-hour flight followed by a 2- to 3- hour drive from where we live.
DH does not (willingly) fly, and absolutely does not fly anywhere that he could drive to.
The couple sent out STDates in September, that informed us (a) of the dress code (light blues/greens/yellows), and (b) of the couple's desire that we would go in with other people who are invited (whom we do not know) and rent a beach house with them from Saturday through Thursday so as to participate in other WR-activities, such as sailing, snorkeling, clam-digging, etc. -- all of which are pay-your-own-way.
Essentially, we're supposed to vacation with their friends for their wedding.
We aren't able to attend (literally not able -- I would have to take unpaid time off from work to go, and I'm not going to do that), but even if we COULD attend, we wouldn't, because, hello etiquette train wreck much?
We received the invite last week, and I promptly mailed back the RSVP declining and expressing our (OK, admittedly faux) regrets.
The co-worker apparently cornered DH at work last night and asked why we're not coming, and she had come to ours, and she knew that I might not have vacation time yet, but DH and I are taking a week off next month (for a belated honeymoon!) and why couldn't we move those dates to coincide with her wedding and just have our honeymoon in June?
Uhm...really? I should move MY HONEYMOON to coincide with YOUR WEDDING? Are you effing serious?
Also, she told DH that if any more people decline and/or refuse to rent the beach house, she and her FI won't get the discount on their beach house. And, she mentioned that, if we were planning on getting them a gift, they'd prefer cash to cover our absence, rather than a physical object.
He came home last night and told me this and said, 'I should probably tell you more often how very, very grateful I am to you for how etiquette-faux-pas free our wedding was.'
Meanwhile, I couldn't wait to tell you all about this!
ETF: pronoun error
I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Etiquette vent -- Yes, YOUR wedding is OBVIOUSLY the most important thing in MY life
Wow...just wow.
ETA: my response to the woman who thinks you'll use your honeymoon for her wedding, not to HisGirl. HisGirl is not a bitch.
And no it's not that they are having a DW that is an inconvenience to their guests.
@laurynm84 I was also fully prepared and able to host every guest I'd invited, but yes the handful of declines I got, I was like "yaaay"! Lol
And no I feel the same way. My fi and I see our guest list as a win win situation, if by some miracle everyone can come great!!! More people to celebrate with especially since they all fit within budget. If we get declines it's too bad they can't join us but that's less people we need to host and therefor money we can save
But with that drama llama fit - nope. No gift, no card. Nothing. My four year old can behave better than that.
OH HOLY HELL. What a freaking mess.
I actually want to be honest. I want to tell her honestly that being invited to a big event alone is really not preferable to anybody and I hope she gets enough declines that she'll allow her guests to attend with their SOs. The whole staff talks about it behind her back. I almost feel bad at this point, but... she's been very clear that she gives no fucks about how people feel about this rule. They can pay for the cost to move to the bigger room or suck it up and get over it.