Appliances on Our Registry?

thecowgirl37 · March 2014

We are getting married in September, and we just made in offer on a house. If all goes well, we should close by June. Would it be bad taste to add appliances to our registry if we register at someplace like Sears? I mean, I couldn't care less if someone actually bought us a washer and dryer or a fridge, but it would sure be cool if they did...

KittyKaty20 · March 2014

I don't really like that, TBH. And you obviously DO care if someone bought you a full-size appliance, because "it would sure be cool".

If someone didn't register for a bunch of things, I would either give them a gift of my choosing with a gift receipt, or cash/cheque. But if I saw too many big ticket items on a registry, I'd likely go the snarky route and give something handmade.

SP29 · March 2014

In one respect, I agree, it's a bit much for a gift registry. If you had a registry with items at variable price points and had some appliances I don't *think* I'd side eye it- I would assume you're probably going for the completion event (although just having had my own wedding I get this process- other guests who aren't familiar with completion events may not). But if it was only a few items and mostly appliances I probably would side eye because it makes it look like that's what you "expect" from your guests.

But registries can also be great for the completion event.

If you are planning to purchase appliances anyway, I would add them to your registry right after your wedding and use any monetary gifts you might have received towards purchasing them on your completion event.

phira · March 2014

SP29 said:

In one respect, I agree, it's a bit much for a gift registry. If you had a registry with items at variable price points and had some appliances I don't *think* I'd side eye it- I would assume you're probably going for the completion event (although just having had my own wedding I get this process- other guests who aren't familiar with completion events may not). But if it was only a few items and mostly appliances I probably would side eye because it makes it look like that's what you "expect" from your guests.

But registries can also be great for the completion event.

If you are planning to purchase appliances anyway, I would add them to your registry right after your wedding and use any monetary gifts you might have received towards purchasing them on your completion event.

This usually doesn't work. The majority of registries that offer completion discounts have rules about how many days before the wedding the items need to be added. The stores/companies are trying to avoid couples adding stuff to their registries at the last minute to get the completion discount.

OP, I'd actually recommend asking some of your guests who you're close to and who are often your sounding boards for stuff like this. I asked around to see if people would be weirded out if we added a TV to our registry (currently, we've nixed the idea, although my partner might change his mind ... again). See if people would think it was a great idea, or if people would assume you were trying to get a completion discount. In our case, most of the people I asked about the TV either said, "As long as you had plenty of less expensive items, I'd be cool with it," or, "I'd assume you were trying to get a discount after you were married; fine by me."

If it sounds like people might be up for it, I'd wait to add appliances until you've closed.

If people seem way of the idea, then I recommend registering for other home improvement stuff (you can register at Home Depot) and letting the word spread that you're saving up for new appliances (increases the likelihood you'll get checks).

hyechica81 · March 2014

small appliances are the norm here, nothing really expensive or big yes you could put the most expensive vaccum on there you may not get it or you may get 5 people who will chip in for it but then there are 5 other lower priced gifts you would have liked better and you would be limiting yourself

JaxInBlue · March 2014

I'm also from a small-to-mid-size appliance crowd. We had a wine fridge on our registry - mostly because we wanted to use our completion discount and/or gift cards on it but it was actually gifted to us by a group of DH's coworkers. I agree with @phira that you should ask around among both families/friend groups to gauge reaction before you add anything. It may also be that one or two things is not a big deal - but once you move into three or four big ticket items, it's too much for your group.

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful · March 2014

I agree that small appliances are normal but if I saw a fridge, etc I would side eye it. If you would rather have big appliances I would just have a smaller registry and have people spread the word you are saving for new appliances. Then I would take the cash and start a new registry (because for the completion date you need a date in advance, your wedding will already be over). This way no one will even see the new registry. For my future SILs shower, her bridesmaids knew she wanted a new couch so they all chipped in for a gift card to a furniture store.

csuave · March 2014

According to your timeline you may be moving in before the wedding? If that is the case then I think you will need the appliances too early for it to matter.

If not, I would check the completion discount rules. If you can add after the wedding date then no problem. If it must be before then you probably want to leave them off or add at the last minute.

Microwaves are usually less $ so I would be OK with that on a registry.

raeah219 · March 2014

This is just a question because I am clueless about registry etiquette, but why would it be acceptable to put really expensive dishes or china on your registry but not a washing machine? A friend of mine had t $500 crystal punch bowl on her registry. I would much rather buy a $500 appliance than a punch bowl any day.

grumbledore · March 2014

raeah219 said:

This is just a question because I am clueless about registry etiquette, but why would it be acceptable to put really expensive dishes or china on your registry but not a washing machine? A friend of mine had t $500 crystal punch bowl on her registry. I would much rather buy a $500 appliance than a punch bowl any day.

I would side-eye the shit out of a $500 crystal punch bowl on a registry. Frankly anything at that price point annoys me. Personally, any big ticket items over the standard Kitchen Aid mixer leave a bad taste in my mouth. It's fine if the full china set is quite expensive since the components are split up.

ScoutF · March 2014

I'd side-eye big appliances big time. Buying appliances comes with buying a house (sometimes). You knew this going in.

@raeah219 I would most certainly side-eye any big ticket item. We registered for a Kitchen Aid Mixer and a set of knives that we planned on buying ourselves after the wedding. Everything else was at a lower price point. We did register for china, but our guests had many different pricing options to choose from.

blabla89 · March 2014

grumbledore said:

raeah219 said:

This is just a question because I am clueless about registry etiquette, but why would it be acceptable to put really expensive dishes or china on your registry but not a washing machine? A friend of mine had t $500 crystal punch bowl on her registry. I would much rather buy a $500 appliance than a punch bowl any day.

I would side-eye the shit out of a $500 crystal punch bowl on a registry. Frankly anything at that price point annoys me. Personally, any big ticket items over the standard Kitchen Aid mixer leave a bad taste in my mouth. It's fine if the full china set is quite expensive since the components are split up.

This. I am currently side-eying the heck out of my friend who has a bunch of big-ticket items on her registry.

ETA: It just seems gift grabby. Especially if you know that none of your guests are in a position where they would purchase it for you.

emmyg65 · March 2014

Unless you're part of a crowd with big money, I wouldn't put anything over $300 on your registry. That would include big appliances.

Peaseblossom55 · March 2014

The most expensive item on our registry is the kitchen aid mixer, anything over than price range I would probably side eye.

jenna8984 · March 2014

Same here with the PP!! I was just going through a friend's registry online because I have her shower this weekend. I literally emailed a mutual friend saying "She has all these really expensive items on her registry and a TON of stuff is marked as bought and it makes me not even want to go to the shower anymore knowing that she's already raking in over $1500 worth of goods".

Maybe I'm just a bitch but to me it just looks selfish and over the top. I'm not even having a shower (I was offered one) because I don't believe just because we decided to get married that I should all of a sudden be entitled to solicit gifts from my friends and stock my home at their expense. That's just wrong to me.

RebeccaFlower · March 2014

I'm here to admit that I am super judgy about what people put on registries. $500 crystal? No freaking way. $500 knife block? You want high end quality... pay for it yourself. Camping gear? It's your wedding, not your hobby. I know a lot of people don't feel this way, but I think people really need to stop asking for such extravagant things. I think that if you want the highest quality, you should damn well pay for it yourself. This is on top of the fact that many people already have a fully stocked home (live together before married) with perfect adequate items. Sure, get rid of your moms 30 year old hand-me-down old dishes and register for new ones, but not every.damn.item.

That said, I think appliances are absurd.

/end rant.

photokitty · March 2014

If I saw big appliance on a friend's registry I would assume her parents, grandparents or siblings had expressed an interest in purchasing them. When I was younger I would have side eyed it, but now I would just keep looking at the list tip I saw something in my price range.

If you ONLY have large ticket items, I will think you are greedy and judge you.

I buy my siblings expensive Waterford crystal (if they collect it like me) for wedding presents, so I would never side eye a $500 crystal punch bowl. Everyone in my extended family has Waterford, but it maybe be bc of our Irish heritage. I'd rather buy a crystal wedding bowl than a mixer - it may not be practical to some, but the significance and sedimental value is far more meaningful to me.

photokitty · March 2014

jenna8984 said:

Same here with the PP!! I was just going through a friend's registry online because I have her shower this weekend. I literally emailed a mutual friend saying "She has all these really expensive items on her registry and a TON of stuff is marked as bought and it makes me not even want to go to the shower anymore knowing that she's already raking in over $1500 worth of goods".
Maybe I'm just a bitch but to me it just looks selfish and over the top. I'm not even having a shower (I was offered one) because I don't believe just because we decided to get married that I should all of a sudden be entitled to solicit gifts from my friends and stock my home at their expense. That's just wrong to me.

What would make you say such a thing about your friend? Why on earth is it her fault that her friends and family are generous and giving her over $1500 in gifts? Maybe she has a large family. Maybe everyone has already bought the wedding presents and they are not ll shower gifts - I typically go and buy the shower and wedding gifts on the same trip.

I'm sorry, but you do sound selfish and jealous. It's fine that she is having a shower, it is not over the top and she is not soliciting gifts by doing so…unless all other brides are who have showers. You sound bitter that she is getting things you wish you could get. If you feel this way about your friend it would be best that you not attend the shower

missnc77 · March 2014

grumbledore said:

raeah219 said:

This is just a question because I am clueless about registry etiquette, but why would it be acceptable to put really expensive dishes or china on your registry but not a washing machine? A friend of mine had t $500 crystal punch bowl on her registry. I would much rather buy a $500 appliance than a punch bowl any day.

I would side-eye the shit out of a $500 crystal punch bowl on a registry. Frankly anything at that price point annoys me. Personally, any big ticket items over the standard Kitchen Aid mixer leave a bad taste in my mouth. It's fine if the full china set is quite expensive since the components are split up.

To be fair, sometimes the person may not know the pricing. We picked out a fine china set and asked the lady helping us to just add the platters and serving bowls that go with it. When we got home and checked the registry to see everything, I saw the serving platter was $300! I'm so glad I checked, because I immediately removed it. A soup ladle we picked out from Crate and Barrel was $50, caught that one too. I still feel on the fence about the $75 per setting fine silver we picked out to go with the fine china. Doing our registry was my least favorite part of this entire process.

netskyblue2 · March 2014

While we didn't register for appliances, we did register for 4 or so higher end kitchen items in the $100-$300 range, and wouldn't you know, they were the *first* things snapped off the registry! I really wasn't expecting them to be purchased. I tried really hard to keep most items in the $30-$60 range, as $50-ish tends to be an average wedding gift in our circle.

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful · March 2014

I personally have some expensive items on my registry (about $300) but I didn't put anything that if not completed I wouldn't buy for myself. I also think it depends if you have a big family. Then of course you need more items and a vary in the price range. I have a big Italian family where a few people might go in on a vacuum. So I wouldn't judge your friend for having lots of items or even some seemingly extravagant items.

We are also getting married in Sept and moving end of April and it did not cross my mind to add appliances...although the house could use a new roof...would that be tacky? lol.

larrygaga · March 2014

In our two big families, people like to all pitch in and get the more expensive gifts. Registering for those would work with us. If you don't have a lot of people close to you or coming to your wedding, I would say leave it off. A lot of people will probably give cash, so you could use that money and let them know on the thank you cards.

banana468 · March 2014

I think this is a know your crowd thing. As long as the big ticket items on there are mixed in Auth many others at a variety of price points, it's fine IMO. When you make your registry up of ONLY big ticket items I'll side eye it.

And to judge someone because others are generously giving her wedding and shower gifts just smacks of sour grapes. If you don't want to buy the Kitchen Aid mixer, All Clad set or the Wustoff knife block then get the Oxo salad spinner or measuring cups or a couple towels. If I didn't have a Kitchen Aid mixer you can bet that I would have put one on our registry with quality cookware as well. However we made sure that guests could purchase items in a variety of price points.

Fairyjen1 · March 2014

I don't side-eye anything on registries. They are suggestions, not demands. If someone puts something on there I don't want to buy I just don't buy it. No need to get all bent out of shape about it.

I'm having an immediate family only wedding and have a registry even though I don't expect any gifts. I'm doing it for the completion discount and the Macy's star rewards. Also to keep track of the few things we discussed we think we need still. If someone side-eye's it they will have had to look it up deliberately to side eye it as I haven't told anyone about it and don't intend to unless specifically asked. We really only need a few things so I'll buy them as we go and after the wedding for the completion discount.

I actually don't get the side-eyeing of registries at all. How many times is it said on these boards that having a registry isn't asking for gifts, it's just suggestions for your guest for things you like. If all you want is big ticket items then the fall out will be you won't get anything off your registry, no harm no foul unless you go around to everyone after and demand to know why they didn't buy off your registry. That WOULD be rude, but not the registry itself. If you don't like what you see on someone's registry then get them nothing or get them something you feel more comfortable giving. A wedding gift is not a requirement.

grumbledore · March 2014

I'll amend my original comment - if a registry has a ton of high-price items or ONLY high-price items, then I would think it was in poor taste. Including a few along with a lot of lower-priced items at various points is fine. Large appliances are still poor form imo.

phira · March 2014

Just want to chime in: I don't think high end items are inappropriate to put on a registry. I spent hours and hours (DAYS really) researching which items to put on our registry. I feel like if I'm going to ask for particular gifts, I need to make an effort to find the best items for the most reasonable prices. So I'm not going to register for a $500 punch bowl. But I'm not registering for cheaper linens or kitchenware just to have someone spend $50 on us that goes down the drain when the items end up being lower quality.

Like, I'd rather ask for the $30 garlic press that's easy to clean, effective, and nearly indestructible, instead of the $10 one that sucks and we either never use it or throw it out after a month. I'd rather ask for the expensive sheet set that stands up to multiple washes well than the cheaper set that'll unravel after a handful of washes.

Just saying, I tend to judge based on more than just the price of the items, and it's more important to me to be able to buy less expensive items off the registry.

Sugargirl1019 · March 2014

We are registered at 3 stores, including BBB. Thankfully 2 of our registries have 5 -15 dollar items like a spaghetti measurer! How nifty is that! But we are also registered at Williams-Sonoma... FMIL idea/request... And the cheapest thing on that registry is a damn soup spoon for 25 dollars... There's a hella expensive pot set for almost 1000. I threw such a fit about that, but we do get a discount if we put it on there.. everything on that one registry is just BSC expensive. It'll be side-eyed fo sho, but at least there's two other registries with normal priced items for our friends if they choose.

I don't think I would side-eye appliances, but I might chuckle and say who the hell is going to buy you that? And then be surprised. But I know how registries work now.. so get that discount.

tesgirl123 · March 2014

I think if you have one large appliance, and nothing else over $100 you are fine(that amount is variable depending on what is typical for your group of friends/family). The problem is registering somewhere like Macy's where there are constant sales. I registered for a knife block set fully expecting to use my completion discount on it because it was a lot of money. It went on sale and then my aunt used a 25% off coupon and used it as my shower gift. I would also keep in mind what you have spent on showers/wedding gifts in the past and anticipate that friends and family would probably keep it in the same ballpark.

thecowgirl37 · March 2014

We have basically completed our registry with the traditional stuff, dishes, bath stuff, nothing too expensive. We hadn't planned on buying a house. We were just going to rent. I do have some family members I think that would opt for that instead of china or a bedding set,but I was just curious if anyone had ever done that before...

photokitty · March 2014

FWIW…IMHO

Appliances on traditional registry > HM/cash registry

I'll take scrolling past a fridge on my way to the toaster on a registry over being asked for cash - the ultimate in tacky and rude registries!

thecowgirl37 · March 2014

I'm not sure why people feel the need to be so insulting when answering an honest question. I see people do all kinds of crazy over the top things for their weddings and registries. our total wedding will be less than $6k... Its not like we're having a $20k wedding and asking for cash. It was pure curiosity if it is appropriate or not. Simple "I wouldn't" replies would have sufficed.

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