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Etiquette

receiving a broken gift dilemma

We received a crystal vase from a wedding guest who is also a friend of mine. When we opened it, there was a huge piece of crystal broken off and a big crack going around it. I told her that it was broken when we opened it and asked if she had the receipt so we could exchange it. She said that she didn't have a receipt and that she got it from Dillards. She suggested that I bring it to the store and try exchanging it. I haven't attempted to do that because 1) I don't think Dillards will go for someone who didn't buy it and there is no receipt, and 2) she bought the gift on her credit card (or whatever) so she should exchange it.

So I'm not sure what to do. I have sent out all of the thank you cards for the rest of the gifts but it doesn't feel right thanking her for a broken gift that she refuses to attempt to fix. Not sure what to do. Any suggestions? Has anyone else been in this situation before?

Re: receiving a broken gift dilemma

  • Was it on your registry? They should be able to help you directly if it was. Unless you want a full refund your friend's credit card info shouldn't matter. You should still be able to do an even exchange.
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  • Good question...no it wasn't on our registry. We didn't register with Dillards and we didn't have a crystal vase on our registry.
  • melbelleupmelbelleup member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2014
  • if she really got the gift from dillards they would have given her a gift receipt.

    i dont know your friend that well but i get the feeling maybe this gift was a regift of some sort and she really didnt buy it and didnt realise it was broken.


    send out the note anyways and try to return it at dillards and see if you can exchange it for something more your taste
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Go to Dillards and speak with someone from customer service, bring the vase with you. Bring any and all packaging with you as well. Did your friend ship it to you herself or order online? I have to say it SOUNDS like she either re gifted it or maybe got it someplace not Dillards and is trying to pass it off as such. But I've got nothing for that other then a gut feeling.


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  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2014
    Plenty of people exchange gifts without a receipt. I'm unsure why this would stop you from going into the store and trying to exchange broken merchandise.

    I'm really not sure what you're expecting your friend to do, and you come off as a little rude.

    While it would be nice of your friend to exchange the gift for you, she didn't break it. I mean, if something I sent someone broke in shipping it seems a bit silly for me to have them ship it back to me just so that I can exchange it and ship it back. I'd probably give the same advice as your friend (take it to the store and exchange it with them). Send her a thank you card and suck it up. After all, "it's the thought that counts" as they say.
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  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    if she really got the gift from dillards they would have given her a gift receipt.

    i dont know your friend that well but i get the feeling maybe this gift was a regift of some sort and she really didnt buy it and didnt realise it was broken.


    send out the note anyways and try to return it at dillards and see if you can exchange it for something more your taste
    Maybe, maybe not. I stick receipts in my purse all the time and forget that they were important until later, when I realize I threw them away. She could very well have gotten the gift, shipped it, and now be stuck in an awkward situation.
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  • Bring it back to Dillard's, they should at least be able to give you store credit.  I'm shocked that you would assume that your friend is lying to you, I hope that my friends would never assume the worst in me.

    And it's not her fault that the (GASP! Off registry!) vase was broken.  Unless she went Gallagher on it, which would be highly dangerous with crystal.

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  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Sounds like a re-gift to me, honestly.

    Try going to Dillards to exchange it. If they won't let you, don't say anything to the friend and just send her a thank you card anyway.
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  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited March 2014
    If you like the vase:

    Go to Dillard's and explain the situation: The vase was a wedding gift, and there's no gift receipt. You would like to exchange it for an unbroken vase OR store credit.

    If you don't like the vase:

    Thank your friend again, throw the vase out, and move on with your life.

    ETA: I don't think you're really aware of where your frustration is stemming from, but I get the impression from your post that you feel entitled to a gift from this friend. For example, you're upset that the vase is broken, not because you liked the vase, but because it means that you effectively didn't get a gift from her (since the gift is broken).

    I'm not accusing you of KNOWING that you're being entitled, but I think you need to start with the fact that you're not entitled to a gift from anyone. That might make the situation easier for you to manage.

    The fact that it wasn't from the registry IS relevant to the issue (since it would be easier to contact the store and rectify the situation).
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    People return stuff without a receipt all the time. I'm terrible at keeping receipts even for stuff I purchased for myself. I've never had a problem getting a store credit from anywhere when I've returned something without a receipt. Take it to Dillards tell them it was a gift and was broke when you opened it and you don't have a receipt. If it came from their store they will more than likely give you store credit for the item or if it's still in stock let you exchange it. It really isn't that hard. No need to think that this friend re-gifted something to you just because it was broken and even if she did, so what? If she knows it came from Dillards that should be enough.
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  • You're wrong - department stores let people exchange items without receipts ALL THE TIME. As long as you explain your situation to the customer service person at the store, you should not feel embarassed or ashamed about it. It's not like you're trying to scam Dillard's in any way. If I were you, I'd deal with it directly at Dillards and if they did not allow you to exchange/replace it due to them not selling the actual vase, then you'll know it was a re-gift, and you can go back to your friend and very nicely let her know what happened and she'll feel like an assclown. 

    I agree with PP that you should convey your apprciation to your friend for coming to wedding and giving you a gift in general. What you shouldn't do is put the onus on her to repair/replace a broken gift because that makes you look lazy and ungrateful. If she lied about buying it at Dillards and it was infact a re-gift then, fine, she shouldn't have directed you to Dillards for the return in the first place. What kind of a person would lie about something like that?  

    s-aries8990
  • Thanks for all of the advice and ideas. I had no idea that you could exchange an item without a receipt so I will go give that a try. For the record, I don't feel that I am entitled to gifts from anyone. I am very happy that she came to the wedding and celebrated with us because I treasure her friendship more than material items by far! I appreciate the feedback everyone! :) I did thank her for coming to the wedding but I will send her a thank you card right away.
    mbross3erinlin25JennyColadaclimbingwife
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2014
    Did she ship you the gift or did the gift ship from the store? What was the packaging like?

    If she walked into the store, bought the gift and shipped you the gift herself I highly doubt the store will exchange the vase for you. And if this shipping situation is the scenario, I think it was inappropriate for you to say something to her. It would come off to me like you wanted me to buy you another vase.

    If the store shipped it, it's on them. And they ought to replace it for you.

    I had a very similar story. A friend of the family shipped a crystal vase to me via USPS and the packaging they used was small blown up balloons (I know. This makes no sense.) the vase was in a bunch of pieces when it arrived. I wrote a thank you note, pitched the vase in the trash, and moved on with life.

    ETA: UPS or FedEx may have insurance for the damage, too, if it was properly packaged.
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Either way, I would still go to Dillard's and tell them you received the vase as a wedding gift and see what they will do. It would help if it was packaged from Dillard's, versus your friend buying it and packing it herself, but I'd still try.


  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary

    Most of the time Dillard's puts a yellow sticker with a barcode on the purchases item, tag, or box. This is equivalent to a receipt and they sould be able to look it up and exchange*** it. It'd be dfferent if you wanted to return it for money but for an exchange it is not a difficult process.

     

    ***this is information one of the associates I shop with at Dillard's has told me.


  • Personally, I would be mortified if I gave a gift to someone and it was broken.   Your friend might be embarassed about that and not reacting well to that.   Hopefully Dillards accepts the return and you have no problems.

  • Personally, I would be mortified if I gave a gift to someone and it was broken.   Your friend might be embarassed about that and not reacting well to that.   Hopefully Dillards accepts the return and you have no problems.
    Really?  You would be mortified?  LOL

    Shit happens.  Things break. Take it back, throw it out, do whatever you feel like doing.  I'm glad you wrote a thank you card though.

    Also, people regift.  It happens.  I got some really nice crystal wine glasses that were an obvious regift (since they had been discontinued for 2 years).  I sent a nice thank you and then I sold them on Craigslist.  
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  • @DragonBlood13 Not necessarily!  They may have still been purchased in a store, possibly on sale.  I know we tend to mark down in-stock crystal patterns after they've been discontinued in order to move them off our shelves. 
  • @DragonBlood13 Not necessarily!  They may have still been purchased in a store, possibly on sale.  I know we tend to mark down in-stock crystal patterns after they've been discontinued in order to move them off our shelves. 
    That is always a possibility.  But the box they were in was mangled and she works in the wine distribution business and they seemed like a possible freebie.  

    Who knows.  I sold them anyways because I couldn't return them.  
    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel

  • Personally, I would be mortified if I gave a gift to someone and it was broken.   Your friend might be embarassed about that and not reacting well to that.   Hopefully Dillards accepts the return and you have no problems.
    Really?  You would be mortified?  LOL

    Shit happens.  Things break. Take it back, throw it out, do whatever you feel like doing.  I'm glad you wrote a thank you card though.
     
    Only because it would imply that I didn't pack the gift correctly or take proper care of an item that I handled.   And I would feel it showed I didn't really care about the gift I was giving, like I just threw it into the box.   If I ordered it online, and it arrives damaged that's not my fault.   I have had a problem with some stores where I wanted to give an item and the packaging was damaged or dirty,   I would pick another gift (this is more of a problem with baby gifts than bridal gifts).
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