receiving a broken gift dilemma

3ringnecklace · March 2014

We received a crystal vase from a wedding guest who is also a friend of mine. When we opened it, there was a huge piece of crystal broken off and a big crack going around it. I told her that it was broken when we opened it and asked if she had the receipt so we could exchange it. She said that she didn't have a receipt and that she got it from Dillards. She suggested that I bring it to the store and try exchanging it. I haven't attempted to do that because 1) I don't think Dillards will go for someone who didn't buy it and there is no receipt, and 2) she bought the gift on her credit card (or whatever) so she should exchange it.

So I'm not sure what to do. I have sent out all of the thank you cards for the rest of the gifts but it doesn't feel right thanking her for a broken gift that she refuses to attempt to fix. Not sure what to do. Any suggestions? Has anyone else been in this situation before?

Artemischief · March 2014

Was it on your registry? They should be able to help you directly if it was. Unless you want a full refund your friend's credit card info shouldn't matter. You should still be able to do an even exchange.

ScoutF · March 2014

I'd just do what your friend suggested and go to Dillard's. Make sure they know you received it as a gift and would like to do an exchange. If nothing else, they should be able to give you store credit.

3ringnecklace · March 2014

Good question...no it wasn't on our registry. We didn't register with Dillards and we didn't have a crystal vase on our registry.

melbelleup · March 2014

melbelleup · March 2014

We received a crystal vase from a wedding guest who is also a friend of mine. When we opened it, there was a huge piece of crystal broken off and a big crack going around it. I told her that it was broken when we opened it and asked if she had the receipt so we could exchange it. She said that she didn't have a receipt and that she got it from Dillards. She suggested that I bring it to the store and try exchanging it. I haven't attempted to do that because 1) I don't think Dillards will go for someone who didn't buy it and there is no receipt, and 2) she bought the gift on her credit card (or whatever) so she should exchange it.

So I'm not sure what to do. I have sent out all of the thank you cards for the rest of the gifts but it doesn't feel right thanking her for a broken gift that she refuses to attempt to fix. Not sure what to do. Any suggestions? Has anyone else been in this situation before?

**Stuck in box***
...... you sound very ungrateful for this gift. It's not your friend's fault it broke nor is it her "job" to get it fixed for you... Just go to Dillard's and ask. It won't hurt to ask and then go from there. Regardless, you should thank her for her gift. She didn't have to get you anything...

hyechica81 · March 2014

if she really got the gift from dillards they would have given her a gift receipt.

i dont know your friend that well but i get the feeling maybe this gift was a regift of some sort and she really didnt buy it and didnt realise it was broken.

send out the note anyways and try to return it at dillards and see if you can exchange it for something more your taste

mbross3 · March 2014

Go to DIllard's and ask them (or just call and ask what the protocol for this type of exchange is). It's not that hard to do and honestly this is your responsibility, not your guests! I worked at a high-end retail business throughout college and we often had to do exchanges (sometimes for thousands of dollars) without receipts. They will be able to tell you if this is possible.

Also, my aunt constantly forgets to include gift receipts with presents, not including a receipt doesn't mean she is regifting somehow. Even if she is you NEED to thank her!!

I know it's not that convenient for you--but honestly you're sounding a little bratty about this. It's not that hard to just figure out what needs to be done. If Dillard's tells you they need the original credit card for the purchase, then you can call the gift giver and tell her that!

chibiyui · March 2014

Go to Dillards and speak with someone from customer service, bring the vase with you. Bring any and all packaging with you as well. Did your friend ship it to you herself or order online? I have to say it SOUNDS like she either re gifted it or maybe got it someplace not Dillards and is trying to pass it off as such. But I've got nothing for that other then a gut feeling.

JennyColada · March 2014

Plenty of people exchange gifts without a receipt. I'm unsure why this would stop you from going into the store and trying to exchange broken merchandise.

I'm really not sure what you're expecting your friend to do, and you come off as a little rude.

While it would be nice of your friend to exchange the gift for you, she didn't break it. I mean, if something I sent someone broke in shipping it seems a bit silly for me to have them ship it back to me just so that I can exchange it and ship it back. I'd probably give the same advice as your friend (take it to the store and exchange it with them). Send her a thank you card and suck it up. After all, "it's the thought that counts" as they say.

Inkdancer · March 2014

hyechica81 said:

if she really got the gift from dillards they would have given her a gift receipt.

i dont know your friend that well but i get the feeling maybe this gift was a regift of some sort and she really didnt buy it and didnt realise it was broken.

send out the note anyways and try to return it at dillards and see if you can exchange it for something more your taste

Maybe, maybe not. I stick receipts in my purse all the time and forget that they were important until later, when I realize I threw them away. She could very well have gotten the gift, shipped it, and now be stuck in an awkward situation.

hikebikebemerry · March 2014

Bring it back to Dillard's, they should at least be able to give you store credit. I'm shocked that you would assume that your friend is lying to you, I hope that my friends would never assume the worst in me.

And it's not her fault that the (GASP! Off registry!) vase was broken. Unless she went Gallagher on it, which would be highly dangerous with crystal.

sarahufl · March 2014

Sounds like a re-gift to me, honestly.

Try going to Dillards to exchange it. If they won't let you, don't say anything to the friend and just send her a thank you card anyway.

photokitty · March 2014

If it was me, I would thank her for the gift, her friendship and presence at the wedding.

I would then throw the broken vase away and move on with life. I would feel awkward trying to return it without a receipt - personally I'd be too embarrassed to try and do it, but that's just me.

If you're willing to try and return it - do it. Otherwise thank her and move on.

She doesn't owe you a gift. She gave you what she could afford and thought you would appreciate - regift or new purchase, you should be gracious and polite.

phira · March 2014

If you like the vase:

Go to Dillard's and explain the situation: The vase was a wedding gift, and there's no gift receipt. You would like to exchange it for an unbroken vase OR store credit.

If you don't like the vase:

Thank your friend again, throw the vase out, and move on with your life.

ETA: I don't think you're really aware of where your frustration is stemming from, but I get the impression from your post that you feel entitled to a gift from this friend. For example, you're upset that the vase is broken, not because you liked the vase, but because it means that you effectively didn't get a gift from her (since the gift is broken).

I'm not accusing you of KNOWING that you're being entitled, but I think you need to start with the fact that you're not entitled to a gift from anyone. That might make the situation easier for you to manage.

The fact that it wasn't from the registry IS relevant to the issue (since it would be easier to contact the store and rectify the situation).

tammym1001 · March 2014

People return stuff without a receipt all the time. I'm terrible at keeping receipts even for stuff I purchased for myself. I've never had a problem getting a store credit from anywhere when I've returned something without a receipt. Take it to Dillards tell them it was a gift and was broke when you opened it and you don't have a receipt. If it came from their store they will more than likely give you store credit for the item or if it's still in stock let you exchange it. It really isn't that hard. No need to think that this friend re-gifted something to you just because it was broken and even if she did, so what? If she knows it came from Dillards that should be enough.

KickAssMOH · March 2014

You're wrong - department stores let people exchange items without receipts ALL THE TIME. As long as you explain your situation to the customer service person at the store, you should not feel embarassed or ashamed about it. It's not like you're trying to scam Dillard's in any way. If I were you, I'd deal with it directly at Dillards and if they did not allow you to exchange/replace it due to them not selling the actual vase, then you'll know it was a re-gift, and you can go back to your friend and very nicely let her know what happened and she'll feel like an assclown.

I agree with PP that you should convey your apprciation to your friend for coming to wedding and giving you a gift in general. What you shouldn't do is put the onus on her to repair/replace a broken gift because that makes you look lazy and ungrateful. If she lied about buying it at Dillards and it was infact a re-gift then, fine, she shouldn't have directed you to Dillards for the return in the first place. What kind of a person would lie about something like that?

3ringnecklace · March 2014

Thanks for all of the advice and ideas. I had no idea that you could exchange an item without a receipt so I will go give that a try. For the record, I don't feel that I am entitled to gifts from anyone. I am very happy that she came to the wedding and celebrated with us because I treasure her friendship more than material items by far! I appreciate the feedback everyone!

I did thank her for coming to the wedding but I will send her a thank you card right away.

lc07 · March 2014

Did she ship you the gift or did the gift ship from the store? What was the packaging like?

If she walked into the store, bought the gift and shipped you the gift herself I highly doubt the store will exchange the vase for you. And if this shipping situation is the scenario, I think it was inappropriate for you to say something to her. It would come off to me like you wanted me to buy you another vase.

If the store shipped it, it's on them. And they ought to replace it for you.

I had a very similar story. A friend of the family shipped a crystal vase to me via USPS and the packaging they used was small blown up balloons (I know. This makes no sense.) the vase was in a bunch of pieces when it arrived. I wrote a thank you note, pitched the vase in the trash, and moved on with life.

ETA: UPS or FedEx may have insurance for the damage, too, if it was properly packaged.

SP29 · March 2014

Either way, I would still go to Dillard's and tell them you received the vase as a wedding gift and see what they will do. It would help if it was packaged from Dillard's, versus your friend buying it and packing it herself, but I'd still try.

emmaaa · March 2014

Most of the time Dillard's puts a yellow sticker with a barcode on the purchases item, tag, or box. This is equivalent to a receipt and they sould be able to look it up and exchange*** it. It'd be dfferent if you wanted to return it for money but for an exchange it is not a difficult process.

***this is information one of the associates I shop with at Dillard's has told me.

3ringnecklace · March 2014

To answer some of the questions, the vase was gift wrapped and given to us at the wedding. The vase was in a small cardboard box with no extra padding. I was surprised that it was broken because it's very thick and heavy. I believe she went to Dillards in person and bought it. I haven't looked for a bar code or yellow sticker so I'll take another look.

I did send her a thank you note yesterday. When I inquired about the vase to my friend, I first of course thanked her for attending and then politely said that when we opened up the beautiful gift it was unfortunately broken. I asked if there was any way it could be exchanged. I would never ask for money in exchange for it- that would be so out of line!

I'll try to exchange it and see what happens. Worse case is that I'm stuck with a broken vase but a broken friendship would be much much worse. It's the thought that counts!

tesgirl123 · March 2014

Personally, I would be mortified if I gave a gift to someone and it was broken. Your friend might be embarassed about that and not reacting well to that. Hopefully Dillards accepts the return and you have no problems.

sofakingmad · March 2014

tesgirl123 said:

Personally, I would be mortified if I gave a gift to someone and it was broken. Your friend might be embarassed about that and not reacting well to that. Hopefully Dillards accepts the return and you have no problems.

Really? You would be mortified? LOL

Shit happens. Things break. Take it back, throw it out, do whatever you feel like doing. I'm glad you wrote a thank you card though.

Also, people regift. It happens. I got some really nice crystal wine glasses that were an obvious regift (since they had been discontinued for 2 years). I sent a nice thank you and then I sold them on Craigslist.

netskyblue2 · March 2014

@DragonBlood13 Not necessarily! They may have still been purchased in a store, possibly on sale. I know we tend to mark down in-stock crystal patterns after they've been discontinued in order to move them off our shelves.

sofakingmad · March 2014

netskyblue2 said:

@DragonBlood13 Not necessarily! They may have still been purchased in a store, possibly on sale. I know we tend to mark down in-stock crystal patterns after they've been discontinued in order to move them off our shelves.

That is always a possibility. But the box they were in was mangled and she works in the wine distribution business and they seemed like a possible freebie.

Who knows. I sold them anyways because I couldn't return them.

tesgirl123 · March 2014

DragonBlood13 said:

tesgirl123 said:

Personally, I would be mortified if I gave a gift to someone and it was broken. Your friend might be embarassed about that and not reacting well to that. Hopefully Dillards accepts the return and you have no problems.

Really? You would be mortified? LOL

Shit happens. Things break. Take it back, throw it out, do whatever you feel like doing. I'm glad you wrote a thank you card though.

Only because it would imply that I didn't pack the gift correctly or take proper care of an item that I handled. And I would feel it showed I didn't really care about the gift I was giving, like I just threw it into the box. If I ordered it online, and it arrives damaged that's not my fault. I have had a problem with some stores where I wanted to give an item and the packaging was damaged or dirty, I would pick another gift (this is more of a problem with baby gifts than bridal gifts).

3ringnecklace · March 2014

I found the yellow sticker that was mentioned on the bottom of the box! I'm going to bring it to Dillards today and see if it can be exchanged. Thanks for the advice!

receiving a broken gift dilemma

Re: receiving a broken gift dilemma

Choose Another Board

Search Boards