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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal
MIL wore white
Hi!
Our wedding was just two/three days ago and we are so glad to be getting our lives back in order. We had so much fun and help from our friends & family, but being the homebodies we are we're glad to have our house back!
We've talked and decided that we have no regrets, everything went beautifully! I'm told our ceremony video turned out perfectly and I've got the first batch of pictures. There was no fighting amongst my family and I managed to realize that I was marrying my best friend and no one could ruin that.
I wanted to post this so that any women who might be worried their MIL might wear white or doing something else "horrible" would see it and I could tell them that you won't care.
When I saw her before the reception I was so angry, but I got distracted and by the time our reception had started I was just so happy and excited to dance with my husband all night that I didn't care anymore. She/they do it for attention - just don't give it to them.
We took pictures and she was in some of them, but I'd talked with our photographer/best man before the shoot and he made sure she wasn't in any of the ones I really wanted.
Just remember - it's your day, you're marrying the love of your life, and no one can take that away from you - it's what you make it.
Our wedding was just two/three days ago and we are so glad to be getting our lives back in order. We had so much fun and help from our friends & family, but being the homebodies we are we're glad to have our house back!
We've talked and decided that we have no regrets, everything went beautifully! I'm told our ceremony video turned out perfectly and I've got the first batch of pictures. There was no fighting amongst my family and I managed to realize that I was marrying my best friend and no one could ruin that.
I wanted to post this so that any women who might be worried their MIL might wear white or doing something else "horrible" would see it and I could tell them that you won't care.
When I saw her before the reception I was so angry, but I got distracted and by the time our reception had started I was just so happy and excited to dance with my husband all night that I didn't care anymore. She/they do it for attention - just don't give it to them.
We took pictures and she was in some of them, but I'd talked with our photographer/best man before the shoot and he made sure she wasn't in any of the ones I really wanted.
Just remember - it's your day, you're marrying the love of your life, and no one can take that away from you - it's what you make it.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: MIL wore white
Q. What’s the dress-buying protocol for moms? Do you need to coordinate outfits with the mother of the bride?
A. It’s customary for the mother of the bride to purchase her dress first. Her choice is meant to subtly dictate what the mother of the groom will wear and set the tone of the attire. This may seem a bit old-fashioned, but we suggest you at least have a conversation. Get a sense of what she’s wearing (length, color, style) before you buy your dress. Then you’re free to find something similar that you’ll feel comfortable wearing.
Q. Does the mother of the bride usually call the mother of the groom after she buys her dress?
A. If the bride’s family plans to uphold wedding etiquette, then yes, you should expect a phone call from the mother of the bride. This is presumably meant to prevent overdressing and clashing colors, and open a line of communication. If she doesn’t call, your son might subtly deliver the details your way.
Read more: Mother of the Groom: Finding Your Dress Q&ATheKnot.com - http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/mother-of-the-bride/articles/mother-of-the-groom-attire.aspx#ixzz2G2oDWGIC
[QUOTE]For Knotties who are not yet married, the MOG dress issue is supposed to be handled way before the wedding by the MOB. See below: Q. What’s the dress-buying protocol for moms? Do you need to coordinate outfits with the mother of the bride? A. It’s customary for the mother of the bride to purchase her dress first. Her choice is meant to subtly dictate what the mother of the groom will wear and set the tone of the attire. This may seem a bit old-fashioned, but we suggest you at least have a conversation. Get a sense of what she’s wearing (length, color, style) before you buy your dress. Then you’re free to find something similar that you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Q. Does the mother of the bride usually call the mother of the groom after she buys her dress? A. If the bride’s family plans to uphold wedding etiquette, then yes, you should expect a phone call from the mother of the bride. This is presumably meant to prevent overdressing and clashing colors, and open a line of communication. If she doesn’t call, your son might subtly deliver the details your way. Read more: Mother of the Groom: Finding Your Dress Q&ATheKnot.com - <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/mother-of-the-bride/articles/mother-of-the-groom-attire.aspx#ixzz2G2oDWGIC">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/mother-of-the-bride/articles/mother-of-the-groom-attire.aspx#ixzz2G2oDWGIC</a>
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
This is just one of the many examples of bad advice from TK.
Aha, she just called and tried to start something about it. But no, not giving her the attention. To busy with Christmas dinner!
[QUOTE]Also, when she asked I told her what my mother was wearing & when she pressed further we explained it was a gothic-type wedding and that she couldn't go wrong with black. So we did cover it, but in the end some things are just out of your control and I'm really glad that we realized that. Aha, she just called and tried to start something about it. But no, not giving her the attention. To busy with Christmas dinner!
Posted by TierchenGeist[/QUOTE]
So you create 2 different screen names because......?
Now, I go to about three weddings a year here in the South because DH and I are both teachers and I work with two groups which are 50% women between the ages of 18 and 30. And I don't know of ONE of those weddings in which the MOB did NOT call the MOG and talk about what to wear.
So this might not happen in your very progressive, cosmopolitan, modern city where no one follows tradition and etiquette, but this happens all the time everywhere else...
[QUOTE]The reason I included the URL and a direct copy&paste was to show that this information was from a 2012-2013 website, not "hopelessly outdated." Now, I go to about three weddings a year here in the South because DH and I are both teachers and I work with two groups which are 50% women between the ages of 18 and 30. And I don't know of ONE of those weddings in which the MOB did NOT call the MOG and talk about what to wear. So this might not happen in your very progressive, cosmopolitan, modern city where no one follows tradition and etiquette, but this happens all the time everywhere else...
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
But OP did not say that her MIL didn't know what OP's mom was wearing. Maybe she knew the OP's mom would be wearing a long red dress, or a short black dress, or a purple pantsuit. In any case, she wore a white dress. I just don't see how the information you gave was relevant.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MIL wore white : So you create 2 different screen names because......?
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]
Probably because she used her real name in her first SN. I was confused for a second too!
To be honest, I have never heard of this tradition/etiquette where the MOB contacts the MOG to discuss what they are wearing. I giggle a bit just thinking about them doing that! My Mom and MIL wore whatever they wanted and looked great.
[QUOTE]The reason I included the URL and a direct copy&paste was to show that this information was from a 2012-2013 website, not "hopelessly outdated." Now, I go to about three weddings a year here in the South because DH and I are both teachers and I work with two groups which are 50% women between the ages of 18 and 30. And I don't know of ONE of those weddings in which the MOB did NOT call the MOG and talk about what to wear. So this might not happen in your very progressive, cosmopolitan, modern city where no one follows tradition and etiquette, but this happens all the time everywhere else...
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
Weird... I've never heard of that, either. But the parents should ask the couple for advice on what to wear. And above all, EVERYONE knows that you should never wear white, black or bright red to a wedding unless specifically asked to.
@mc123mc: you can't ask people to find out her dresses because you can't dress adults, including your Mother and FMIL.