I feel like big ticket items like that are something more of what your parents would purchase for you as a wedding gift, maybe grand parents? but certainly not the average guest. I think if I saw something like that on a registry I would be a little shocked. We added a few small appliances like a microwave and a toaster, but nothing major like a washer and dryer.
@thecowgirl37 it's where the store you're registered at gives you (the bride & groom) a discount to purchase everything that's left unpurchased on your registry.
I would side-eye major kitchen appliances or house "necessities" (fridge, dishwasher, stove/oven, washer, dryer, living room sets, bedroom sets, mattresses). I feel like if you live with your SO and are about to get married, its the couples responsibility to have the basics. BUT, the solution to that is I simply don't purchase it. It really is a know your crowd thing.
I don't really side-eye $200 sheets, $100/setting silver and china, wine fridges, keg-erators, or a few hundred dollars worth of sporting equipment (maybe they prefer being outside to cooking so there's no need for a kitchen-aid). Part of it is that I always assume a gift is something that they WANT, not something that they absolutely have to have.
I would just register for gift cards for the stores, you're more likely to get the gift cards then the appliances themselves.
People see asking for GCs as asking for cash. I wouldn't go there.
Yeah, I took gift cards off my registries (C&B added one automatically). The whole point of a gift card, in my opinion, is, "I know you like this store, so here's a way for me to give you money and show you that I know which stores you like." Which is totally fine, but what's the point of buying someone a $50 gift card to Crate & Barrel off of their registry when the registry has things for $50 or less that you could, you know, buy instead ...
I would just register for gift cards for the stores, you're more likely to get the gift cards then the appliances themselves.
People see asking for GCs as asking for cash. I wouldn't go there.
Yep, asking for gift cards is as impolite as asking for cash. I am totally put off my a registry that has gift cards on it. I pulled up your registry bc I want to buy you a physical gift. If I wanted to give you money I wouldn't even look at the registry and it would come in an envelope in form of a check, not by buying it off your registry.
I hate to admit it, but it would also effect the amount I spent out your gift because you offended me by asking for money.
I'm not sure why people feel the need to be so insulting when answering an honest question. I see people do all kinds of crazy over the top things for their weddings and registries. our total wedding will be less than $6k... Its not like we're having a $20k wedding and asking for cash. It was pure curiosity if it is appropriate or not. Simple "I wouldn't" replies would have sufficed.
There was nothing insulting in this thread, and people gave honest opinions
Nobody is judging you, they are telling you their opinion so you can make an informed decision.
If you were insulted by the answers you best toughen up cowgirl, or it will be a rough ride for you on these forums! ;-)
@photokitty I feel that about everyone who has a shower honestly. I think they are being greedy. Why does you being in love and wanting to get married mean you get to load up on gifts? I just don't get it and think it's totally outdated. Sure, maybe back 50 years ago when the couple lived at home and you were setting them up for their home together. But now that mostly everyone lives together and has a stocked home, showers should not still be happening. I suck it up and attend all my friend's showers because that's what friends do, doesn't mean I don't go home and complain to FI about it. I'm not jealous (like I said I was offered a shower), I just prefer to feel pride in standing on my own feet. I bought my house when I was single at 25 years old and everything inside it. I'm damn proud that I worked for everything and didn't just have mommy and daddy and grandma buy me everything. Could I use nicer pots and pans? Of course, but me chosing to spend my life with someone shouldn't mean I ask other people to buy them for me. I'm sorry, everyone can have their own opinions and that's mine towards showers.
@photokitty I feel that about everyone who has a shower honestly. I think they are being greedy. Why does you being in love and wanting to get married mean you get to load up on gifts? I just don't get it and think it's totally outdated. Sure, maybe back 50 years ago when the couple lived at home and you were setting them up for their home together. But now that mostly everyone lives together and has a stocked home, showers should not still be happening. I suck it up and attend all my friend's showers because that's what friends do, doesn't mean I don't go home and complain to FI about it. I'm not jealous (like I said I was offered a shower), I just prefer to feel pride in standing on my own feet. I bought my house when I was single at 25 years old and everything inside it. I'm damn proud that I worked for everything and didn't just have mommy and daddy and grandma buy me everything. Could I use nicer pots and pans? Of course, but me chosing to spend my life with someone shouldn't mean I ask other people to buy them for me. I'm sorry, everyone can have their own opinions and that's mine towards showers.
As a woman who bought a home by myself at 25 too, I can appreciate your opinion and perspective. Especially since you apply it evenly and across the board. I'm sorry I said you sounded jealous, you explanation makes me see you're not - you just don't like the idea of showers bc you are a self made woman. My mistake
@photokitty I feel that about everyone who has a shower honestly. I think they are being greedy. Why does you being in love and wanting to get married mean you get to load up on gifts? I just don't get it and think it's totally outdated. Sure, maybe back 50 years ago when the couple lived at home and you were setting them up for their home together. But now that mostly everyone lives together and has a stocked home, showers should not still be happening. I suck it up and attend all my friend's showers because that's what friends do, doesn't mean I don't go home and complain to FI about it. I'm not jealous (like I said I was offered a shower), I just prefer to feel pride in standing on my own feet. I bought my house when I was single at 25 years old and everything inside it. I'm damn proud that I worked for everything and didn't just have mommy and daddy and grandma buy me everything. Could I use nicer pots and pans? Of course, but me chosing to spend my life with someone shouldn't mean I ask other people to buy them for me. I'm sorry, everyone can have their own opinions and that's mine towards showers.
As a woman who bought a home by myself at 25 too, I can appreciate your opinion and perspective. Especially since you apply it evenly and across the board. I'm sorry I said you sounded jealous, you explanation makes me see you're not - you just don't like the idea of showers bc you are a self made woman. My mistake
Oh my god what am I doing wrong? I'm 27 and soooo far from ever owning a house ...
@photokitty I feel that about everyone who has a shower honestly. I think they are being greedy. Why does you being in love and wanting to get married mean you get to load up on gifts? I just don't get it and think it's totally outdated. Sure, maybe back 50 years ago when the couple lived at home and you were setting them up for their home together. But now that mostly everyone lives together and has a stocked home, showers should not still be happening. I suck it up and attend all my friend's showers because that's what friends do, doesn't mean I don't go home and complain to FI about it. I'm not jealous (like I said I was offered a shower), I just prefer to feel pride in standing on my own feet. I bought my house when I was single at 25 years old and everything inside it. I'm damn proud that I worked for everything and didn't just have mommy and daddy and grandma buy me everything. Could I use nicer pots and pans? Of course, but me chosing to spend my life with someone shouldn't mean I ask other people to buy them for me. I'm sorry, everyone can have their own opinions and that's mine towards showers.
As a woman who bought a home by myself at 25 too, I can appreciate your opinion and perspective. Especially since you apply it evenly and across the board. I'm sorry I said you sounded jealous, you explanation makes me see you're not - you just don't like the idea of showers bc you are a self made woman. My mistake
Oh my god what am I doing wrong? I'm 27 and soooo far from ever owning a house …
I would find it a bit odd to see a large ticket item, major appliance, etc. on a registry but I wouldn't be offended by it unless there were few items in a lower price range. I think a good registry has a mixture of variously priced items to cover the gambit from someone with a low budget to someone who prefers to get a larger gift.
@photokitty I feel that about everyone who has a shower honestly. I think they are being greedy. Why does you being in love and wanting to get married mean you get to load up on gifts? I just don't get it and think it's totally outdated. Sure, maybe back 50 years ago when the couple lived at home and you were setting them up for their home together. But now that mostly everyone lives together and has a stocked home, showers should not still be happening. I suck it up and attend all my friend's showers because that's what friends do, doesn't mean I don't go home and complain to FI about it. I'm not jealous (like I said I was offered a shower), I just prefer to feel pride in standing on my own feet. I bought my house when I was single at 25 years old and everything inside it. I'm damn proud that I worked for everything and didn't just have mommy and daddy and grandma buy me everything. Could I use nicer pots and pans? Of course, but me chosing to spend my life with someone shouldn't mean I ask other people to buy them for me. I'm sorry, everyone can have their own opinions and that's mine towards showers.
As a woman who bought a home by myself at 25 too, I can appreciate your opinion and perspective. Especially since you apply it evenly and across the board. I'm sorry I said you sounded jealous, you explanation makes me see you're not - you just don't like the idea of showers bc you are a self made woman. My mistake
Oh my god what am I doing wrong? I'm 27 and soooo far from ever owning a house ...
You live in the Boston area. It's crazy and discouraging trying to find a house around here.
For those saying it's greedy to have a shower. People want to get us things for our wedding, so it's just easier for everyone if there is a registry. I was really surprised the amount of presents that have arrived from people who can't come to my shower. I honestly don't expect anything from anyone, but especially not from someone who can't even come.
If you don't want to get your friends a gift, then don't. If you don't want to attend showers, than don't. I honestly like getting my friends presents, but I'm not that great at picking out gifts, so I prefer if someone has a registry.
I'm not sure why people feel the need to be so insulting when answering an honest question. I see people do all kinds of crazy over the top things for their weddings and registries. our total wedding will be less than $6k... Its not like we're having a $20k wedding and asking for cash. It was pure curiosity if it is appropriate or not. Simple "I wouldn't" replies would have sufficed.
I am going to say that you can't tell people how to respond. Second, and just because I was brought up in the "cover your plate" era, (yes I am old), if I saw appliances on your registry, I would expect the event to be pretty lavish. Not a very low budget affair. I have seen many a time that guests wait to get to the event to see how they will be hosted, and go to the restroom to fill out a check reflecting the wedding.
Re: Appliances on Our Registry?
I have seen (and seriously side-eyed) the following: mattresses, sofas, flat screen TVs, Xbox, washer/ dryer and a camping tent.
FWIW, none of these items were purchased by the time of the wedding.
I don't really side-eye $200 sheets, $100/setting silver and china, wine fridges, keg-erators, or a few hundred dollars worth of sporting equipment (maybe they prefer being outside to cooking so there's no need for a kitchen-aid). Part of it is that I always assume a gift is something that they WANT, not something that they absolutely have to have.
People see asking for GCs as asking for cash. I wouldn't go there.
Yep, asking for gift cards is as impolite as asking for cash. I am totally put off my a registry that has gift cards on it. I pulled up your registry bc I want to buy you a physical gift. If I wanted to give you money I wouldn't even look at the registry and it would come in an envelope in form of a check, not by buying it off your registry.