:)

divadancer11 · March 2014

If you feel that is the right thing to do...there isn't a good way of saying it. I will say you prob won't have many of those people going. It's extremely ignorant and disrespectful to your friend(s). You should prob not invite anyone.....IMHO

vsgal · March 2014

This is one of the rudest things you can do. Couples do not get separated. And no, you don't get to determine how serious their relationship is. How would you feel if you were not invited to an event that your guy was because the host doesn't think you two are serious? I would be very offended and I would readdress the seriousness of our friendship. You need to invite couples-no matter how long they have dating.

What are the significant others supposed to do for the day? Sit in the hotel room? Really?

I am also amazed that you think your wedding would also be someone's vacation. Most people would not take a week off for a one-day event.

JCbride2015 · March 2014

RebekaMuniz said:

Hi,
I am having a destination wedding in Playa Del Carmen. We want it to be a smaller, intimate wedding, therefore, people who we invited that are not in a serious relationship or married, we decided could not bring a guest to the wedding. I understand that this is a vacation for them as well and do not expect them to go solo, but want to be clear that their friend is not invited to the wedding. How do I convey that without sounding rude? I am making a wedding website so maybe I could include it on there as well as the invitation? Anyone know how to handle this eloquently?

Thank you for the feedback

There are many problems here.

1) Who decides who is in a "serious relationship?" ANY couple that is dating and considers themselves to be SOs must be invited by name. You do not get to decide who is "serious" and who isn't.

2) Just don't say anything about guests bringing people who are not invited to the wedding. Why would they assume they can bring someone? The only reason I can think of is that the trip is inconvenient for your guests, or you are inviting people who won't know anybody else at this DW. Probably guests will want to bring the uninvited SOs because you decided they aren't serious enough. These are problems you have created.

It sounds like you have planned a DW at which you cannot afford to host everyone properly (including SOs), and/or in a destination that is very inconvenient for your guests. It is incredibly rude to expect that some people (SOs, other friends, whatever) will come for the vacation but are not invited to the wedding.

There are a few ways to fix this.

1) Invite SOs of everyone in a relationship, no matter the duration, at the time invitations go out. The invitation is for the people listed on the invitation, nobody else. You say nothing on the website or the invitation (the horror!) about uninvited guests. People will know they can't just bring someone random to your wedding.

2) Plan a wedding for which you can afford to host everyone, including SOs, properly. This might mean doing it at home or expanding your guest list.

JCbride2015 · March 2014

Oh and OP, please page a KnotGod to change your screen name to something that isn't your full name. Internet safety.

aurianna · March 2014

RebekaMuniz said:

Hi,
I am having a destination wedding in Playa Del Carmen. We want it to be a smaller, intimate wedding, therefore, people who we invited that are not in a serious relationship or married, we decided could not bring a guest to the wedding. I understand that this is a vacation for them as well and do not expect them to go solo, but want to be clear that their friend is not invited to the wedding. How do I convey that without sounding rude? I am making a wedding website so maybe I could include it on there as well as the invitation? Anyone know how to handle this eloquently?

Thank you for the feedback

How exactly can you determine a "serious relationship?" Unfortunately you cannot and only the people in the relationship can. Therefore you should invite ANYONE who considers themselves in a relationship with their significant other. To not do so would be super rude.

Anyone not in a relationship at all (as in someone who says they do not have a boyfriend/girlfriend) can be invited solo. If the invitation is written with only his/her name on it, that's all you have to do to let them know they can't bring someone to your wedding. You can also have the RSVP card say "1 seat(s) has been reserved in your honor.
But again, this is only for truly single guests.

So to reiterate... you should invite anyone in a relationship (no matter how long they've been together).
Seriously, how many people would want to go to a beautiful tropical location without their significant other? And who would want to leave their SO alone for the better part of the day in order to go to a wedding where their SO, who flew across the country, wasn't welcome? And whose SO other would want to be left alone for the better part of the day after spending the money and time to accompany their partner?
Putting any of your honored guests in that situation isn't something a good hostess should want for people who are willing to spend so much time and money to come see her get married.

And really... while it is NOT required to give a truly single guest a plus one, if your friends and family are coming all this way, spending so much money, and most likely using precious vacation time to see your wedding, it would be super gracious if you could extend everyone a plus 1 so they have travel companions, but so those travel companions don't have to sit around alone in a foreign country for half a day. But in the end that's your prerogative and depends on how much you prioritize having an intimate affair over being welcoming to your guests.

(Oh, and if you've already sent out the invites? I'd call up anyone whose SO you didn't invite and apologize for the oversight and let them know of course their SO is invited.
If anyone truly single RSVPs with someone that wasn't invited, you just call them up and say the invitation is just for them but you hope you can still attend.

You don't need to tell people that they can't bring uninvited people to your wedding (assuming they aren't people who should have been invited to begin with like SOs); it's a given.

WinstonsGirl · March 2014

What is their friend supposed to do during your wedding?? I'd be so bored trying to entertain myself alone at a resort. Truly single people don't require a guest, though if they're spending a few thousand dollars to travel to your wedding, allowing them a guest and a $30 dinner is the least you can do. Having had friends get married at a resort, they can be very budget friendly for the actual ceremony/reception itself.

Also, how are you determining if a relationship is serious?? DH and I were very serious within a few weeks, though very few people knew we were dating, as we're more private about that. My Uncle has been dating his GF for over 20 years. They don't live together and will never get married. When did they get serious?? Or maybe they aren't yet?? You can't judge how serious another couples relationship is. Suck up the extra couple of hundred bucks to host guests and invite them

rmuni9605 · March 2014

Thank you for the feedback. I haven't sent anything out, that's why I'm here asking this question. I guess "serious relationship" was a bad choice of words. I understand that- that term means different things to different people and would not consider a couple that isn't married any less significant, committed or serious then anyone else. I should know, I was a girlfriend for many years. Just asking for advice and I got it.

:)

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