Address Question for Invites...

vbarger13 · March 2014

Okay, I've looked all over, even in the GIANT Emily Post book my Grandmother gave me, and I'm still not sure of the answer.

I printed all our invitations, put them all together, but they do not have inner envelopes. Do I address the outside to everyone invited? What I mean is, do I include any children's name? How to I indicate a plus one?

Help! I'm freaking myself out here!

Thanks in advance!

HisGirlFriday13 · March 2014

Yes, you address the outer envelopes to everyone invited, including children.

If you're allowing truly single people to bring plus ones, you would address it, 'Miss Sarah Jones and Guest' on the outer envelope.

Jen4948 · March 2014

Yes, on the envelope you would list everyone included in an invitation, as in:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Ms. Mary Smith

Ms. Jane Smith

Mr. Thomas Smith

Anyone over 18 should get their own invitation along with their SO.

pinkshorts27 · March 2014

On the outside envelope just include everyone who is invited and the guest if they get a guest. Just like you would on the inner envelope (though some people suggest putting the and Guest on a new line just so the post office doesn't have a fit).

vbarger13 · March 2014

Okay. Thanks! I thought so - but then it was a case of reading too much, rather than not enough. Luckily, "and guest" is really easy to add to the envelopes.

KittyKaty20 · March 2014

We didn't have too many truly single guests when invites went out, and we didn't have inner envelopes.

My favorite tip was a small hand-written note on the RSVP card (instead of the envelope) that reads:

"You are invited to bring a guest".

I preferred the look of that to the outer envelope "and guest".

AroundTheBlock · March 2014

Since you should send every adult his or her own invitation, by name, to his or her own address, this is only a problem where you are inviting minor children (or if you live outside the United States, where proper form is to address social correspondence to the lady of the house only). Where you are inviting both spouses (in the United States) you put both names on the outer envelope; and the same when you are inviting a couple who are living together as if married. Where you are inviting people who live apart, you send each their own envelope. When you are inviting peope who live together, but as roommates or siblings or adult children of the householders, you send each one his or her own invitation.

When you are inviting children, you will need to fix some sort of a belly-band around the invitation that you can write on, or write the names on the invitation itself (if you have the highly-formal kind of invitation with a write-in line this would be the norm, anyway) or go buy a few slightly larger envelopes that you can use as outer envelopes so that the ones you have can be used as inner envelopes with the children's names written on them. You should not be writing children's names on outer envelopes at all, but especially not where the oversized invitation will need to be propped up on an apartment mail-box shelf, or placed in the common oversized-mail section of a "super-mailbox"; displaying the child's name and address together for the local neighbourhood paedophile to make note of.

Jen4948 · March 2014

AroundTheBlock said:

Since you should send every adult his or her own invitation, by name, to his or her own address, this is only a problem where you are inviting minor children (or if you live outside the United States, where proper form is to address social correspondence to the lady of the house only). Where you are inviting both spouses (in the United States) you put both names on the outer envelope; and the same when you are inviting a couple who are living together as if married. Where you are inviting people who live apart, you send each their own envelope. When you are inviting peope who live together, but as roommates or siblings or adult children of the householders, you send each one his or her own invitation.

When you are inviting children, you will need to fix some sort of a belly-band around the invitation that you can write on, or write the names on the invitation itself (if you have the highly-formal kind of invitation with a write-in line this would be the norm, anyway) or go buy a few slightly larger envelopes that you can use as outer envelopes so that the ones you have can be used as inner envelopes with the children's names written on them. You should not be writing children's names on outer envelopes at all, but especially not where the oversized invitation will need to be propped up on an apartment mail-box shelf, or placed in the common oversized-mail section of a "super-mailbox"; displaying the child's name and address together for the local neighbourhood paedophile to make note of.

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MrsAitch · March 2014

Jen4948 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Since you should send every adult his or her own invitation, by name, to his or her own address, this is only a problem where you are inviting minor children (or if you live outside the United States, where proper form is to address social correspondence to the lady of the house only). Where you are inviting both spouses (in the United States) you put both names on the outer envelope; and the same when you are inviting a couple who are living together as if married. Where you are inviting people who live apart, you send each their own envelope. When you are inviting peope who live together, but as roommates or siblings or adult children of the householders, you send each one his or her own invitation.

When you are inviting children, you will need to fix some sort of a belly-band around the invitation that you can write on, or write the names on the invitation itself (if you have the highly-formal kind of invitation with a write-in line this would be the norm, anyway) or go buy a few slightly larger envelopes that you can use as outer envelopes so that the ones you have can be used as inner envelopes with the children's names written on them. You should not be writing children's names on outer envelopes at all, but especially not where the oversized invitation will need to be propped up on an apartment mail-box shelf, or placed in the common oversized-mail section of a "super-mailbox"; displaying the child's name and address together for the local neighbourhood paedophile to make note of.

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For real. What is this? Particularly the bolded...what in the world.

Anyway, OP, can you return or exchange the book your grandma gave you? While I'm sure she had the best of intentions, I borrowed a bunch of etiquette books from the library when I first got engaged and found the Miss Manners ones to be a million times more helpful than the Emily Post ones. I liked Miss Manners Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding and also her Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (there is a wedding section in there, but the rest is fun reading too).

vbarger13 · March 2014

MrsAitch - sadly, no, but that's okay. I have a couple others I have been using given to me by a friend who's getting married after me, and I'll definitely check out the library.

Luckily, There's only two with small children (one of whom is the flower girl) and only a handful that would need "and guest" added to them. We have a pretty small guest list (I thought 100 was huge, but have been informed by other friends since then that I'm small - who knew?) so it should be easy to fix.

Maggie0829 · March 2014

AroundTheBlock said:

Since you should send every adult his or her own invitation, by name, to his or her own address, this is only a problem where you are inviting minor children (or if you live outside the United States, where proper form is to address social correspondence to the lady of the house only). Where you are inviting both spouses (in the United States) you put both names on the outer envelope; and the same when you are inviting a couple who are living together as if married. Where you are inviting people who live apart, you send each their own envelope. When you are inviting peope who live together, but as roommates or siblings or adult children of the householders, you send each one his or her own invitation.

When you are inviting children, you will need to fix some sort of a belly-band around the invitation that you can write on, or write the names on the invitation itself (if you have the highly-formal kind of invitation with a write-in line this would be the norm, anyway) or go buy a few slightly larger envelopes that you can use as outer envelopes so that the ones you have can be used as inner envelopes with the children's names written on them. You should not be writing children's names on outer envelopes at all, but especially not where the oversized invitation will need to be propped up on an apartment mail-box shelf, or placed in the common oversized-mail section of a "super-mailbox"; displaying the child's name and address together for the local neighbourhood paedophile to make note of.

SlothGoals · March 2014

AroundTheBlock said:

Since you should send every adult his or her own invitation, by name, to his or her own address, this is only a problem where you are inviting minor children (or if you live outside the United States, where proper form is to address social correspondence to the lady of the house only). Where you are inviting both spouses (in the United States) you put both names on the outer envelope; and the same when you are inviting a couple who are living together as if married. Where you are inviting people who live apart, you send each their own envelope. When you are inviting peope who live together, but as roommates or siblings or adult children of the householders, you send each one his or her own invitation.

When you are inviting children, you will need to fix some sort of a belly-band around the invitation that you can write on, or write the names on the invitation itself (if you have the highly-formal kind of invitation with a write-in line this would be the norm, anyway) or go buy a few slightly larger envelopes that you can use as outer envelopes so that the ones you have can be used as inner envelopes with the children's names written on them. You should not be writing children's names on outer envelopes at all, but especially not where the oversized invitation will need to be propped up on an apartment mail-box shelf, or placed in the common oversized-mail section of a "super-mailbox"; displaying the child's name and address together for the local neighbourhood paedophile to make note of.

Ahh yes, the problem of the local neighbourhood paedophiles reading my guest's mail. How COULD I have forgotten about that when addressing my envelopes??

Cookie Pusher · March 2014

AroundTheBlock said:

Since you should send every adult his or her own invitation, by name, to his or her own address, this is only a problem where you are inviting minor children (or if you live outside the United States, where proper form is to address social correspondence to the lady of the house only). Where you are inviting both spouses (in the United States) you put both names on the outer envelope; and the same when you are inviting a couple who are living together as if married. Where you are inviting people who live apart, you send each their own envelope. When you are inviting peope who live together, but as roommates or siblings or adult children of the householders, you send each one his or her own invitation.

When you are inviting children, you will need to fix some sort of a belly-band around the invitation that you can write on, or write the names on the invitation itself (if you have the highly-formal kind of invitation with a write-in line this would be the norm, anyway) or go buy a few slightly larger envelopes that you can use as outer envelopes so that the ones you have can be used as inner envelopes with the children's names written on them. You should not be writing children's names on outer envelopes at all, but especially not where the oversized invitation will need to be propped up on an apartment mail-box shelf, or placed in the common oversized-mail section of a "super-mailbox"; displaying the child's name and address together for the local neighbourhood paedophile to make note of.

You know, I have a slot in a "super-mailbox" and I have never had an invitation that was too large to fit. Nor has any "super-mailbox" I've ever had a slot in have a "common oversized-mail section" - things that were over-sized would be available at the post office for pick-up, as indicated by a notice the carrier would leave in your slot. I even have a box at the post office (the smallest one they offer), and I've had very few things NOT fit in it. So realistically, unless you're sending something bigger than a magazine (normal "super-mailbox slots) or a 6"x9" envelope (extra tiny "super-mailbox" slots), you should be okay. Besides, I see bellybands get ripped ALL THE TIME.

PrettyGirlLost · March 2014

Jen4948 said:

Yes, on the envelope you would list everyone included in an invitation, as in:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Ms. Mary Smith
Ms. Jane Smith
Mr. Thomas Smith

Anyone over 18 should get their own invitation along with their SO.

Can you say Mr. & Mrs. Smith & Family to save room on the outer envelope?

MrsAitch · March 2014

If it matters OP, I invited an entire family where there were 6 children and I wrote all of their names on the outer envelope like so (kids I listed oldest to youngest):

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Miss Jane, Mr. Jack, Miss Mary,
Mr. Robert, Miss Sarah, Miss Elizabeth

I know it's maybe "better" to give each kid their own line for their name, but with six kids...nope.

Liatris2010 · March 2014

Because I'm sure most paedophiles loiter around mailboxes waiting for the errant too-large wedding invitation and then furiously scribble the names and address of the people to who it is addressed, all the while hoping those people fit into his/her preferred age range.

Just right the kids names on the envelope, separate lines from their parents:
Mr. & Mrs. First Last
Miss First Last
Master First Last

Jen4948 · March 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

Jen4948 said:

Yes, on the envelope you would list everyone included in an invitation, as in:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Ms. Mary Smith
Ms. Jane Smith
Mr. Thomas Smith

Anyone over 18 should get their own invitation along with their SO.

Can you say Mr. & Mrs. Smith & Family to save room on the outer envelope?

"And Family" is a suggestion that anyone even remotely related to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, by blood, adoption, or marriage, is invited. It's really best to avoid that and make clear who is invited-even if it takes up a lot of space on the envelope.

CMGragain · March 2014

We inserted a small business sized card that named the children in large families. Just a quick, handwritten note to say, "Susan. James, Christopher, Jane and Peter are also invited."

HisGirlFriday13 · March 2014

AroundTheBlock said:
Since you should send every adult his or her own invitation, by name, to his or her own address, this is only a problem where you are inviting minor children (or if you live outside the United States, where proper form is to address social correspondence to the lady of the house only). Where you are inviting both spouses (in the United States) you put both names on the outer envelope; and the same when you are inviting a couple who are living together as if married. Where you are inviting people who live apart, you send each their own envelope. When you are inviting peope who live together, but as roommates or siblings or adult children of the householders, you send each one his or her own invitation.

When you are inviting children, you will need to fix some sort of a belly-band around the invitation that you can write on, or write the names on the invitation itself (if you have the highly-formal kind of invitation with a write-in line this would be the norm, anyway) or go buy a few slightly larger envelopes that you can use as outer envelopes so that the ones you have can be used as inner envelopes with the children's names written on them. You should not be writing children's names on outer envelopes at all, but especially not where the oversized invitation will need to be propped up on an apartment mail-box shelf, or placed in the common oversized-mail section of a "super-mailbox"; displaying the child's name and address together for the local neighbourhood paedophile to make note of.

I'm on mobile, so I can't GIF, but please go away. Please take your crazy and GTF away. Sell your crazy somewhere else 'cause we're all stocked up here.

ETF spelling

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