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When Your Friends Act Crazy

newenglandgal0802newenglandgal0802 member
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in Snarky Brides

Warning vent/rant. So one of my BM's whom I've been friends with for years now is officially off the deep end. This past Valentine's Day she broke up with her BF of 2 plus years kind of out of nowhere. I didn't even really know they were having problems really or that things were going south. Background this girl RUSHES her relationships like crazy, she's always going from I just met him to OMG HE'S MY SOULMATE I WANNA GET MARRIED. When she first started talking to her now ex BF he moved into her apartment after like 3 weeks and within like 9 months she was pushing him for an engagement ring(she was only 24, 25 now). Anyways last I knew she wanted a ring from this guy then all of a sudden they're done. About 2 weeks after she breaks up with this guy she tells me Oh, remember so and so I used to talk to online well I've been talking to him all the time now text, FB messages, skype etc and he's going to come visit me in 2 weeks. He lives in Canada we live in New England. I was kind of shocked she was already talking to someone else I mean 2 years is a long time to be with someone and all but hey whatever. I was also shocked that he was going to come visit her after "2 weeks of talking" she claims they were talking on FB the whole time she was with her ex but I never ever heard her mention him. So flash forward to this week and I get a text on Monday "OMG I had the best weekend of my life. I really know what love is now and how a woman should be treated blah blah blah". Then she sends me a picture of a diamond ring on her freaking hand and she says "Look he even bought me a promise ring." It took me probably 5 minutes to pick my jaw up off the floor. I know everyone moves at their own pace in relationships and everything but this is just crazy. 4 days together in person and a RING?! I'm sorry maybe it's just me but that is totally not normal. I obviously tried to nicely express my CONCERN truly as I see this crashing and burning like all her other relationships and she basically got super pissed at me. What do you do when your friends go crazy!?

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Re: When Your Friends Act Crazy

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    mcgarci2mcgarci2 member
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    edited March 2014
    cassandramarie01 said:

    Warning vent/rant. So one of my BM's whom I've been friends with for years now is officially off the deep end. This past Valentine's Day she broke up with her BF of 2 plus years kind of out of nowhere. I didn't even really know they were having problems really or that things were going south. Background this girl RUSHES her relationships like crazy, she's always going from I just met him to OMG HE'S MY SOULMATE I WANNA GET MARRIED. When she first started talking to her now ex BF he moved into her apartment after like 3 weeks and within like 9 months she was pushing him for an engagement ring(she was only 24, 25 now). Anyways last I knew she wanted a ring from this guy then all of a sudden they're done. About 2 weeks after she breaks up with this guy she tells me Oh, remember so and so I used to talk to online well I've been talking to him all the time now text, FB messages, skype etc and he's going to come visit me in 2 weeks. He lives in Canada we live in New England. I was kind of shocked she was already talking to someone else I mean 2 years is a long time to be with someone and all but hey whatever. I was also shocked that he was going to come visit her after "2 weeks of talking" she claims they were talking on FB the whole time she was with her ex but I never ever heard her mention him. So flash forward to this week and I get a text on Monday "OMG I had the best weekend of my life. I really know what love is now and how a woman should be treated blah blah blah". Then she sends me a picture of a diamond ring on her freaking hand and she says "Look he even bought me a promise ring." It took me probably 5 minutes to pick my jaw up off the floor. I know everyone moves at their own pace in relationships and everything but this is just crazy. 4 days together in person and a RING?! I'm sorry maybe it's just me but that is totally not normal. I obviously tried to nicely express my CONCERN truly as I see this crashing and burning like all her other relationships and she basically got super pissed at me. What do you do when your friends go crazy!?

    All you can do is warn them, tell them that you care about them, and express your concern, but they will do what they want at the end of the day.  Unfortunately, we can't make decisions for them and just have to deal with the things they do.  

    Are you sure this is someone you want in your life if this bothers you so much?  It's clear she has always been like this.  You have asked her to be a BM, so I'm hoping that means you're close enough to her to not care, so let this girl live her life.  She will learn some day... I hope.

    Edit: Grammar
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    InkdancerInkdancer member
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    It sounds to me like there's more to the story that you don't know.
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    eyeroll
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    mbross3mbross3 member
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    I'm confused about why a grown man is buying a grown woman a "promise ring". I thought that was reserved for teenagers.
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    newenglandgal0802newenglandgal0802 member
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    I'm sure there is more that I don't know. She tends to hide things all the time and her stories always seems to change. I just care about her well being is all. She can be a really great friend but sometimes I just want to shake her and say what are you thinking! I also have no idea what the point of this promise ring is. My FI did give me a pre engagement ring a few years ago when we were 22 but we had just bought our condo and it wasn't given to me as a promise ring exactly. I don't know the whole thing is just WEIRD.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    What's a pre-engagement ring?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    larrygagalarrygaga member
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    AddieL73 said:
    What's a pre-engagement ring?


    Stuck in box

    So you can be engaged to be engaged...lol
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    How is that different from a promise ring?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    newenglandgal0802newenglandgal0802 member
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    AddieL73 said:

    How is that different from a promise ring?


    Its not really I guess lol! In my religious/social circles promise rings are common among young 20 somethings and given to essentially signify you're in a monogamous relationship.
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    larrygagalarrygaga member
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    I don't understand promise rings much, but whatev
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    wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
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    Part of me wonders if she was talking to this guy long before she and her BF broke up and she was just too embarrassed to bring it up (and rightfully so if they were hardcore flirting and talking about meeting up). Once it became a sure thing, boom - breakup and then a weekend with New Guy.

    That's a lot of assuming on my part, but I've seen this happen countless times among my friends.

    I would just bean dip her when she gushes about her new soulmate and try to let it go. The more you bring it up, the more it's going to push her away. She'll learn, hopefully, eventually, that looking for a husband instead of a boyfriend rarely ends well.
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