Yesterday I went with a friend to meet up with a group of girls she knows from her work. She's one of my bridesmaids and I thought maybe it could be fun - meet new people, whatever. Anyway, once I got there I found out that one of the girls is also getting married this year, so naturally we started on the standard wedding talk. Right away she started talking about how hard the guest list has been - not being able to invite "plus ones," having to skip people altogether, etc. Alright, while we haven't had that problem, I know a lot of brides that have and can sympathize (although - I think it's a bit harsh not to allow guests to bring someone, but I might be in the minority there). She then says, as if it's normal practice, "We're a bit behind actually as we need to get our invites out in April so that we can get our "second-tier" invites out in late June." Her wedding is in August. I asked her what she meant by second-tier invitations and she said, "Well, we have so many people that we want to invite but our venue only fits so many, so we're going to see who RSVP's and then once we start getting 'no's' we can mail out the second round. I mean, people should know whether they're coming to the wedding or not, so why wait and then have a bunch of people that want to go not be able to?" B-LIST. Gross. What makes it worse is she sent out STD's as well....which I realized once I got home doesn't make any sense because how would she decide who to send them to if she's operating off a "tiered" list? I really wish I would have asked her about that! Anyway, thought I'd share....
Re: "Tier 2 Invites..."
@ladybird29 She will have food but not a lot of it. so she's hoping there will be enough of what she has for those who did not eat. Like me, since I'm in the WP and will have been busy all day.
I tried to tell her that the reception is for guests who were at the ceremony. You receive them as husband and wife and thank them for coming and being a part of your life. The reception is where costs go up. But since it will be 7pm and they weren't at the ceremony she assumes they will have eaten and th efood will be for those that hadn't? This is all my guessing her rationale.
that is one wedding her guest will be talking about for a long time and in a bad way ..
@hyechica81 I don't even know how her brain is working at this point. The way I have come to understand it is this:
Ceremony at church 530 pm: family only (60 guests)
Pictures until 630 pm: Family will go to reception venue for drinks and start eatng
Reception at 630 or 700: Friends and family (150ish)
The food she is planning is buffet and will be available to anyone who wants it but I don't think there will be enoughfor everyone. I told her that people coming to a reception at 700 pm will assume they are being fed since it is meal time. She said that most people will eat beforehand?
Like I said, I don't completely get it and she seems to think this idead works. My wedding is 3 months after and I took 1 year to plan. She got engaged after me and wanted a warm season wedding so didn't have as much time to plan. At this point I think she is just trying to get married and have a party. I think if that's the case she shoul djust have the reception later, let's say 800 pm. Then people will have eaten first.
This may take the cake. I was once told by a bride that "Since my cousin Steve is a groomsman and he's single, and you're single (at the time) you can effectively come as his date instead of getting your own invitation and plus one. You don't even have to sit with him or anything, just if people ask who your date is you can say Steve."
If he had been a stranger I absolutely would have said "You're out of your fucking mind" but since I was actually fairly close friends with Steve and we just thought it would be fun to hang out together, I went along with it.
You're right. It was a risk, but we were very confident they weren't joining us. They were very extreme cases of work committments(one serving overseas in the military who normally lives in another stateand told us he would use his leave to come home for Christmas with his parents rather than come to our wedding, which I would expect, and one who will be working for a TV station covering the NCAA basketball finales) and two women who are now going to give birth literally any day now (both told us after the window where statistically they were expected to carry to term).
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!