Wedding Party

Job for a friend not in the bridal party?

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Re: Job for a friend not in the bridal party?

  • SarahWins said:
    SarahWins said:
    The destination wedding is the real wedding, when we are really getting married. I'm sorry, but I don't consider signing a paper to mean getting married. I don't need or want the government to be the entity validating my marriage, that's the whole purpose of a wedding in front of friends and family. If you need the government to validate it and believe that's all you need to be married, great, go do that and call it good. Since you're on this site, however, I doubt that's what you actually think. So how about not attacking people for doing things the right way, k?
    So you're having a PPD?
    I'm sorry, I don't know what that stands for.
    Are you getting that insignificant piece of paper signed in a courthouse, then having a DW? Or are you doing both at the same time?
    We are signing it at the courthouse before we leave, since we won't be back from the wedding until after the New Year. Taxes are the only reason we're doing it at all, so if we wait until after the wedding it's moot. Our state won't accept it if it's signed out of the county where you get the license.
  • Also, I think it's exceptionally rude to consider the marriage license as an unimportant document pertaining to marriage. There are a lot of people who have to fight really hard to get their marriage validated by the government.
    I applaud them for fighting for something they want. I don't think marriage is any of the government's business to begin with, though. I have several gay friends who completely agree, have had weddings, and consider themselves married. Why does the government have to validate that?
  • KatWAG said:
    SarahWins said:
    The destination wedding is the real wedding, when we are really getting married. I'm sorry, but I don't consider signing a paper to mean getting married. I don't need or want the government to be the entity validating my marriage, that's the whole purpose of a wedding in front of friends and family. If you need the government to validate it and believe that's all you need to be married, great, go do that and call it good. Since you're on this site, however, I doubt that's what you actually think. So how about not attacking people for doing things the right way, k?


    So you dont want to 1000+ benefits you receive when your marriage is considered valid by the state?

    I wonder what @queerfemme would think about this statement.

    The benefits, which I don't think should exist to begin with, are the only reason we are getting a marriage license at all. Please don't pull the "you're so insensitive" card. I'm bisexual, and over half of my friends are gay. I know the struggles, and still have this opinion. Also, how do you define marriage? Because I define it as people making a commitment to each other and their families to share their lives. I don't see government anywhere in there.
  • SarahWins said:
    KatWAG said:
    SarahWins said:
    The destination wedding is the real wedding, when we are really getting married. I'm sorry, but I don't consider signing a paper to mean getting married. I don't need or want the government to be the entity validating my marriage, that's the whole purpose of a wedding in front of friends and family. If you need the government to validate it and believe that's all you need to be married, great, go do that and call it good. Since you're on this site, however, I doubt that's what you actually think. So how about not attacking people for doing things the right way, k?


    So you dont want to 1000+ benefits you receive when your marriage is considered valid by the state?

    I wonder what @queerfemme would think about this statement.

    The benefits, which I don't think should exist to begin with, are the only reason we are getting a marriage license at all. Please don't pull the "you're so insensitive" card. I'm bisexual, and over half of my friends are gay. I know the struggles, and still have this opinion. Also, how do you define marriage? Because I define it as people making a commitment to each other and their families to share their lives. I don't see government anywhere in there.
    You are being a hypocrit. If you dont want the government involved in your marriage (gay or straight) then dont sign the piece of paper. Plain and simple. But you do want the government involved since you want the tax benefits.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @KatWAG: she's complaining to the chitchat board now.

    of course she is.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • SarahWins said:
    KatWAG said:
    SarahWins said:
    The destination wedding is the real wedding, when we are really getting married. I'm sorry, but I don't consider signing a paper to mean getting married. I don't need or want the government to be the entity validating my marriage, that's the whole purpose of a wedding in front of friends and family. If you need the government to validate it and believe that's all you need to be married, great, go do that and call it good. Since you're on this site, however, I doubt that's what you actually think. So how about not attacking people for doing things the right way, k?


    So you dont want to 1000+ benefits you receive when your marriage is considered valid by the state?

    I wonder what @queerfemme would think about this statement.

    The benefits, which I don't think should exist to begin with, are the only reason we are getting a marriage license at all. Please don't pull the "you're so insensitive" card. I'm bisexual, and over half of my friends are gay. I know the struggles, and still have this opinion. Also, how do you define marriage? Because I define it as people making a commitment to each other and their families to share their lives. I don't see government anywhere in there.
    If you don't think there should be benefits to marriage and you don't think the government should be involved at all in marriage then why are you getting the legal documentation?  Sounds kind of hypocritical.  You don't think the government should be involved in marriage yet you still want the benefits that the government provides to married couples.

  • SarahWins said:
    We are signing it at the courthouse before we leave, since we won't be back from the wedding until after the New Year. Taxes are the only reason we're doing it at all, so if we wait until after the wedding it's moot. Our state won't accept it if it's signed out of the county where you get the license.
    I'm pretty sure this is true of most places. For most cases, you get your license issued from where it is you're planning on getting married - in your case, Mexico. Once that license from  Mexico is signed, filed, and made official, you're married in Mexico, the US, and pretty much everywhere else.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • There is absolutely nothing traditional about getting married at the courthouse, pretending you're not married, and then having another wedding at a "destination." Nothing.
  • What about showing respect for those of us who inherited a PATERNAL x gene to be able to walk to a seat and sit down without the "protection" of our virtue by a potential stranger? Short of a black or white tie event, if Mr AllOn isn't present, I will refuse an escort because hey, I'm a big girl and can seat myself. At any event with Mr AllOn, he's my escort and no other person will be given that obligation. What about protecting the virtue of the male guests?

    But, hey, PPD with a raging, whining, hypocritical, misogynist diva. You're having a legally recognized marriage before you have your DPPD, since if you sign the legal contract after your DPPD, it will be in January, thus missing tax breaks. But, you want no government involvement so your DPPD isn't just that. Sorry, you don't get to pick and choose. If you don't want government involvement, don't sign the legal contract. If you want the government kickback, don't have a DPPD. Or do both and accept that the actions you are choosing are in poor etiquette and people don't like it.

    Or, I don't know, get married in the US and help any VIPs with costs to get here. Wait, that'd be a sign of being a good host. Never mind.

    The legal marriage is something countless couples want, but are denied by bigots who love to violate the Constitution. Try showing a small iota of civility and respect by admitting the signing of your marriage license is very much real.
  • KatWAG said:
    SarahWins said:
    The destination wedding is the real wedding, when we are really getting married. I'm sorry, but I don't consider signing a paper to mean getting married. I don't need or want the government to be the entity validating my marriage, that's the whole purpose of a wedding in front of friends and family. If you need the government to validate it and believe that's all you need to be married, great, go do that and call it good. Since you're on this site, however, I doubt that's what you actually think. So how about not attacking people for doing things the right way, k?


    So you dont want to 1000+ benefits you receive when your marriage is considered valid by the state?

    I wonder what @queerfemme would think about this statement.

    The benefits, which I don't think should exist to begin with, are the only reason we are getting a marriage license at all. Please don't pull the "you're so insensitive" card. I'm bisexual, and over half of my friends are gay. I know the struggles, and still have this opinion. Also, how do you define marriage? Because I define it as people making a commitment to each other and their families to share their lives. I don't see government anywhere in there.

    STUCK IN BOX

    So you're a "traditional" bisexual who thinks that women aren't capable of doing certain things such as escorting someone to his or her seat?  When you went on dates with other women prior to meeting FI, how on earth did either you or your date manage to sit down anywhere?
  • Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell didn't get married until DOMA was struck down because they didn't think it was fair that they could get married while others in their state couldn't. Maybe you should take one out of their book if the legal aspect means nothing to you. I'll also add, you saying the way you're going about this is the "right" way ("So how about not attacking people for doing things the right way"),is REALLY rude. Some people only have courthouse weddings and have been together for years. And guess what! After you sign your legal papers, you'll be just as married as them.
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