this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion

Too old for flower girls? Too young for junior bridesmaids?

SorensonLee85SorensonLee85 member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I really don't know who put the age limit on flower girls and junior bridesmaids but I was thinking on having my teenage cousin be a flower girl if she wants to, regardless of the ring bearer being 2-3. I was going to ask my cousins that I would love to include them in my wedding, and what they would like to do. Readings, songs, guest book, usher, etc. I don't understand how asking one of them to be a flower girl is inappropriate due to being 14/16. People came up with the idea of having grandmas being a flower girl so why not? I'm also considering roles for my fiance's cousins one male and one female, who are about the same age. 
Report Reply to Post

Re: Too old for flower girls? Too young for junior bridesmaids?

  • whitjoywhitjoy member
    100 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    OP Gave the following advice on a zombie thread: SorensonLee85 said: Ushering including passing out programs and a reading is a great idea. Also consider guest book, carrying the train, help decorate, and ask them that you would like to include them, what would they like to do? Aside from doing a reading, these things are not honors...these are the types of things you pay someone to do. Literally, I cannot imagine having the conversation with someone I Love where I say: 'you get the honor of carrying my train'. wow Edited for clarity
    Report Reply
  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In my opinion, a teenage cousin would be a bridesmaid, not a junior bridesmaid.  I dislike the term junior bridesmaid even if the girl in question is 10 or 11, but a teenager is definitely old enough to just be a BM.  When I think flower girl, I picture someone elementary school-aged, not 3 or 13 or 73 (not sure where the grandmother trend came from).
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Your teenage cousin should be a bridesmaid. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Call teenage attendants bridesmaids or groomsmen, ushers, or readers, depending on their roles.  They are not "junior" anything, ring bearers, or flower girls.  Nor are they your unpaid "help," so don't assign them roles like guest book attendant.  Nobody of any age likes that.
    Report Reply
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    My cousin, who is a junior, is a full out bridesmaid. Not a junior bm, not a flower girl.



    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • beachyone15beachyone15 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I am having my 13 year old cousin as one of my bridesmaids and her mom keeps telling me how excited she is! :)


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers



    Report Reply
  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer

    If you asked the teenaged me to be a flower girl I would have gotten extremly upset and hurt.  I thing the cut off for FG should be like 8 yrs old.

    Report Reply
  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    I would make her a bridesmaid. I think she's too old for flower girl. And like others have said, there's no need to say "junior" bridesmaid.  I'm having my 6-year-old niece as a bridesmaid even (not "junior BM", just a BM).  Or you could always give your cousin the option and ask which role she would prefer.  Maybe she would rather be flower girl (unlikely). 

    I would say that maybe you could make the flower girl role more grown up, but the only way I can think of doing that would be to just have her carry bouquet, rather than dropping petals, which is basically all the bridesmaids do anyway.

    image 

    Report Reply
  • vk2204vk2204 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    My cousins were 8 and 9 when we got married. We asked them if they wanted to be flower girls or bridesmaids. They picked BM's. We did not use the Junior title because there is no need for it, really. If I were asked to be a flower girl at age 14 I would say heck no.
    image 
    Report Reply
  • Tami87Tami87 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I would also be very offended if I was asked to be a flower girl as a teenager. I also agree that there is no point in calling them Jr. Bridesmaids when they do the exact same thing as a bridesmaid. I think that being in the wedding party (I include ushers in this and treat them as such), a reader, or musician can be an honor and way to include important people. However, nobody wants to be stuck at the guest book. Put up a sign, have someone like the DJ make an anouncment or trust your guests to figure out how to sign the guestbook on their own. Making your loved ones work at your wedding is not honoring them.

    I also think many people overestimate how excited people are about the wedding. Not everyone is dying to have a special role. Being "just a guest" is actually pretty great.
    image
    Report Reply
  • laurenstlouislaurenstlouis member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    Seconding PPs: make her a bridesmaid. I'm very close with my little cousin who I had promised years and years ago that she could be my flower girl (back when she was of an appropriate age to do so.) She'll be 11 by the time I'm actually getting married, so it just seemed like making her a bridesmaid instead of the flower girl (that title now belongs to her little sister) was the obvious thing to do. I get random facebook messages from their Mom, telling me all about how she caught Lylah practicing throwing flower petals and Lily is over the moon about being a bridesmaid and included with the "older girls." You'll probably make her day by asking her to be a bridesmaid, so I personally don't see any harm in doing that.

    As far as asking cousins to watch the guestbook, I'll just say this: I recently went to a wedding where the bride had made one sister (not her own, I believe they're her future nieces?) a bridesmaid and the other was assigned to watch the guestbook and hand out programs. The bride never heard a word of it to my knowledge, but later that evening, my FMIL told us that the MoG/my FMIL's SIL told her that the one that had been asked to watch the guestbook, etc. had been deeply hurt and more than a few tears were shed over the decision. Perhaps this reaction might be a bit dramatic, but the point is that feelings could get hurt and I think you should maybe consider this when assigning "tasks."
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    image
    Report Reply
  • KGold80KGold80 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I do not understand giving someone the shit jobs of guest book attendant or handing out programs. Put a program in every chair and be done with it. People can find the guest book and pen all on their own without needing someone to "attend" it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards