1 month old

Kristin&eric · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:fffd9534-d396-400e-965b-7c1dd62a358a">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, cde, nowhere did it say her wedding was a black tie affair. Way to assume. You know what they say about people who assume.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

i was thinking the same thing and that her wedding cost $15000

salt78 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:e3576856-32f3-4349-919a-780bffcca6fd">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]The invitations haven't even gone out yet for my wedding, so at this point I was undecided about babies or not at this point, I was just asking for opinions so I could figure out what I was going to do when the time came to write out the invitations. I love children! Like I said, i'm having about 10 children under the age of 12 at my wedding! My sister did mention actually bringing her playpen, but i'm sure I could just talk to her and let her know that we can make other arrangements for him, the playpen seemed like a little much to me. I think you're right, if she's nursing at 1 month, it would be hard to expect her to leave her baby for the night, and she's family, so I think an exception can be made. What do you think about the other bridesmaid's/Groomsman's children? There's one that's 4 months, one that's 5 months, a 11 month old, a 14 month old. Do you think that I should allow them all to bring their children too? Or is it ok for the babysitters at the hotel to attend to those children. I sooooo didn't mean to cause a Cat fight with this post, I am just trying to do what I want, my fiance wants, my family wants, my friend wants and i'm just trying to figure out the ettiquette of the situtation. As far as performing the duties of a maid of honor, I just meant as far as pictures, limos, speeches, dinner at the head table. I guess once speeches & dinner is over, it wouldn't be a big deal and she could spend time with the baby after that. Not that she's going to be waiting on me hand and foot! Lol! I wouldn't ever expect anyone to do that!
Posted by reesepzor[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well I'm glad to see that you aren't that other nutjob.</div><div>
</div><div>Basically, it's nice of you to have the childcare for these other kids, but this newborn is your family. If your sister has asked that the baby stay with her for awhile, I would let her. 1 month old is REALLY young. She even said herself that if the baby cries too much, she will handle it, but honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if the baby sleeps through the whole thing.

</div>

cdeguide74 · July 2010

That's the average cost of a Chicago wedding!

Knittibell · July 2010

In all seriousness, have the babysitters there, and let them choose what they want to do. My MOH may have a newborn for my wedding, as they're trying soon- and said she'd want to leave the toddler with the sitters I'm providing, but could she bring a newborn if she has one, and I said of course. I think that's the point- provide sitters, and just leave it up to each mom/dad as to what they want to do. I'm sure it'll all turn out just fine!

georgia_bride09 · July 2010

As for the other children, they all seem too young to stay with a babysitter. I mean, as a mom, I wouldn't leave my four month old with a babysitter. I think it's just best to not say anything and hope that the parents either arrange their own babysitter or bring them and deal with them all night. You have to remember that they're adults and can deal with their own children as they see fit.

mysticl · July 2010

to cdeguide I don't know where you get the idea that babies and playpens would be all over the floor. Strollers would most like be pulled up to the tables with the parents but that's it. I don't know anyone who would lay their infant on the floor in that kind of situation....it would be dangerous to the baby. Exactly why is a black tie affair no place for a baby? I'm praying there will be an infant at my wedding, because that means one of my best friends will be there.

reesepzor · July 2010

That's what I was figuring... I didn't know if I should just ask them ahead of time whether they would be interested in us setting up babysitter service at the hotel or just let them make arrangements themselves.

Most of the people i've talked to have said that most parents don't want to leave their babies with people they don't know, even if they are the best babysitter in the world. (not that I blame them).

So, yeah, I think it's probably best to leave it at the parents discretion...

wadingmoose · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:87892601-9dc7-4636-af19-6638d9e0d4af">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]I am also in the middle of planning my wedding so I have strong feelings on the subject. I have family members who have young infants and they've exressed to me that there's no way in hell they'd bring their baby to a wedding reception! It's one night they get to get dressed up and go out for a nice night without the baby, which is very few and far between since having them. I've been to a good 20 weddings over the last 10 years and I have only been at ONE that had small children, never one with a baby!!
Posted by cdeguide74[/QUOTE]

Do you read? Or do you just keep spouting off whatever you think is the only answer?

tidetravel · July 2010

I didn't read this whole thing, but as someone with a 7 month old:

I would never have left my one month old with someone, even grandparents, for the night. I breastfed, and T didn't even get a bottle until 2 months, because of the possibility of nipple confusion. That being said, as a mother I also would not have brought her to a wedding with 100+ people, out of concern for her health (vaccinations are not started until 6 weeks of age). Personally, I would probably have declined the invitation all together, but that should be a choice that the mother makes, not one that is forced upon her.

As for other kids: let the parents make the call. If they are OOT, you can offer to help them find credible babysitters in the area, but if they want to bring them, they can and will be responsible for them.

cdeguide74 · July 2010

I wouldn't want strollers at my wedding either...it's not a day for the family at the park! Banquet halls are alreay cramped as it is with very little room to walk between tables. I would rather leave my baby with a family member for the 5 hours than take the chance of something happening. I've been at wedding where the server spills the food when placing ont he table. What if that's your baby sitting in the baby carrier on the seat next to you, or in the stroller, whatever. If I were having a casual wedding on the beach or something like that it would be different. But when I'm dishing out thousands of dollars for a reception in a particular atompshere then I would expect my guests to respect or wishes for just a few hours!!

wadingmoose · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:83ffe135-0acd-40ce-bd59-dfad84e3efc9">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't want strollers at my wedding either...it's not a day for the family at the park! Banquet halls are alreay cramped as it is with very little room to walk between tables. I would rather leave my baby with a family member for the 5 hours than take the chance of something happening. I've been at wedding where the server spills the food when placing ont he table. What if that's your baby sitting in the baby carrier on the seat next to you, or in the stroller, whatever. If I were having a casual wedding on the beach or something like that it would be different. But when I'm dishing out thousands of dollars for a reception in a particular atompshere then I would expect my guests to respect or wishes for just a few hours!!
Posted by cdeguide74[/QUOTE]

You're an idiot.

I feel safe in writing this because I know you aren't actually reading anyone's post so you'll never see it.

nhelene · July 2010

Reese, you'll find that most people here agree: head tables suck. Your bridal party will be much happier either sitting together at a regular table or dispersed among the guests, and that will solve one of your problems.

Be open to things going wrong... If your MOH wants to give a speech but has to take care of the baby during speech time, let her make it when she gets back, or not at all.

I'm inviting 4 parents with children under 18 months, and I know at least one infant will be there. My reception venue gave us a 'holding room' to hang out in before we go into the party, so I asked them to let me keep it open as a nursing/napping/general quiet time room. I considered hiring a babysitter but decided against it, since as you said the parents would probably be unwilling to leave the kid with a stranger.

I don't see a problem with asking the parents about it beforehand.

tidetravel · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:83ffe135-0acd-40ce-bd59-dfad84e3efc9">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't want strollers at my wedding either...it's not a day for the family at the park! Banquet halls are alreay cramped as it is with very little room to walk between tables. I would rather leave my baby with a family member for the 5 hours than take the chance of something happening. <strong>I've been at wedding where the server spills the food when placing ont he table. What if that's your baby sitting in the baby carrier on the seat next to you, or in the stroller, whatever</strong>. <strong><em>If I were having a casual wedding on the beach or something like that it would be different. But when I'm dishing out thousands of dollars for a reception in a particular atompshere</em></strong> then I would expect my guests to respect or wishes for just a few hours!!
Posted by cdeguide74[/QUOTE]
I go out to dinner with my baby all the time. I'm also quite vilgilent to make sure that waiters don't pass food over her head.

Also, please don't pretend that your opinion is formed out of concern for the health and wellbeing of a baby when it is, in fact, due to your own desires to maintain a certain "atmosphere."

cdeguide74 · July 2010

wadingmoose I wasn't spouting off whatever "I think" is the answer. I was responding to the question if I was the same person that asked the question under a different name. Maybe you should read before you spout off!

tidetravel · July 2010

OP - if you are having that many infants at your wedding, it would be a nice gesture to arrange for a private , clean room for mothers to attend to their children. If your venue could arrange for comfy couches or chairs for feeding/quieting babies, that would be awesome. (obviously, not required though)

wadingmoose · July 2010

You also happen to be ignoring a LOT of posts around here.

It also helps if you quote the post you're responding to if you're responding to a single post rather than the thread in general.

Regardless, it seems a waste of time and energy typing to you because you're just not going to listen to anything anyone says anyways. You've decided you are right and there is no other valid opinion or option.

Black and white is a horrible way to live.

cdeguide74 · July 2010

Yes, that's it, I'm the idiot becuase I want to invite who I want. Yep, call me an idiot.

srkropf · July 2010

I don't forsee you having a problem, however, mom and dad may want to let munchkin stay at home with grandma

mysticl · July 2010

Tidetravel's idea is really great. If the venue is a hotel you might be able to arrange for a guest room for that purpose. In the course of my professional and volunteer work I have been to a ton of conferences/conventions and you can get guest rooms for purposes other than sleeping. One hotel cleared out all the furniture from a room and let us use it for storage for all the stuff we needed for the convention.

wadingmoose · July 2010

I'm calling you an idiot because you're giving people advice based on what you are doing without taking into account the individual circumstances. Some people actually like their family and would invite a nephew or niece even if they did have the bad manners to be an infant.

You also seem to be completely ignoring anything people say in response to you and throwing out cliche's like "EVERY GIRL PLANS THEIR WEDDING FROM THEY DAY THEY ARE BORN." No. They don't. "IT'S YOUR WEDDING DO WHAT YOU WANT." Ok. But be prepared to offend people and have people not show up - like the MOH in the OP who may have made that decision if asked to leave her 1 month old child at home.

You seem to think that the ONLY answer is your answer - NO CHILDREN. Invite who you want, but that doesn't mean that your advice is right for the OP who, wisely, read the responses here and thought about the situation to make her decision.

SarahPLiz · July 2010

I didnt read all the responses.

I say why not? 1 month old babies are still in the sleep and eat and not much else stage. You can't force their parents to have no-baby time if they don't want it. The parents can still enjoy themselves while holding a baby. I don't see the issue here.

wadingmoose · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:e219d990-58be-4afc-b35f-68326b2f3b23">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 1 month old : I sure did. I had the perfect sparkle magic wedding. Complete with children.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Salt, didn't anyone tell you that children have no place at DW's in the Caribbean? My god, how could you bear to have children there. It's so inappropriate!

cdeguide74 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:7432d257-0956-41c9-8755-316bb848d9cb">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]You also happen to be ignoring a LOT of posts around here. It also helps if you quote the post you're responding to if you're responding to a single post rather than the thread in general. Regardless, it seems a waste of time and energy typing to you because you're just not going to listen to anything anyone says anyways. You've decided you are right and there is no other valid opinion or option. Black and white is a horrible way to live.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

I'm not ignoring anybody. It's my wedding day, my guest list, my choice. If I choose not to invite your children then accept it or deny it, whatever you want. If you choose to decline my inviation becasue you have no babysitter I'm not going to slash out on that person for declining. Every person has to do what's right for them. I've had friends go to wedding solo because they're left their baby at home with the hubby. It's all up to each indivdual. But don't call me an idiot because I'm choosing to have an elegent evening with my family and friends!

tidetravel · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:f00433b5-7814-4cba-acb5-2b22ec1773ac">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 1 month old : I'm not ignoring anybody. It's my wedding day, my guest list, my choice. If I choose not to invite your children then accept it or deny it, whatever you want. If you choose to decline my inviation becasue you have no babysitter I'm not going to slash out on that person for declining. Every person has to do what's right for them. I've had friends go to wedding solo because they're left their baby at home with the hubby. It's all up to each indivdual. But don't call me an idiot because I'm choosing to have an elegent evening with my family and friends!
Posted by cdeguide74[/QUOTE]

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quotequeen · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:f00433b5-7814-4cba-acb5-2b22ec1773ac">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 1 month old : I'm not ignoring anybody. It's my wedding day, my guest list, my choice. If I choose not to invite your children then accept it or deny it, whatever you want. If you choose to decline my inviation becasue you have no babysitter I'm not going to slash out on that person for declining. Every person has to do what's right for them. I've had friends go to wedding solo because they're left their baby at home with the hubby. It's all up to each indivdual. But don't call me an idiot because I'm choosing to have an elegent evening with my family and friends!
Posted by cdeguide74[/QUOTE]

Nobody is saying anything to you about YOUR choices. They're talking about your advice to the OP, which is nothing more than "I did it this way, which is the only right way, so obviously you should too."

salt78 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:2c4b5843-b302-4dee-a78e-17f4e77049c1">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 1 month old : Salt, didn't anyone tell you that children have no place at DW's in the Caribbean? My god, how could you bear to have children there. It's so inappropriate!
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

<div>It was singularly the most UN-elegant disaster you have ever seen in your life. </div>

wadingmoose · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:f00433b5-7814-4cba-acb5-2b22ec1773ac">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 1 month old : I'm not ignoring anybody. It's my wedding day, my guest list, my choice. If I choose not to invite your children then accept it or deny it, whatever you want. If you choose to decline my inviation becasue you have no babysitter I'm not going to slash out on that person for declining. Every person has to do what's right for them. I've had friends go to wedding solo because they're left their baby at home with the hubby. It's all up to each indivdual. But don't call me an idiot because I'm choosing to have an elegent evening with my family and friends!
Posted by cdeguide74[/QUOTE]

Again. You're proving my point.

Reading comprehension, you don't have it. But thanks for once again justifying your reasons for not having children at your wedding.

Please note: I don't giveaflyingfuck what you do for your wedding.

wadingmoose · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:6c9bb6c7-3976-4069-904b-40ab00f6fa3d">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 1 month old : It was singularly the most UN-elegant disaster you have ever seen in your life.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

It's ok. So was mine. Destination wedding in the mountains (gasp!) with children. One even cried during the ceremony! It was awful. I don't feel I'm truly married because of it.

cdeguide74 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:8bdf3d16-fe05-4ca0-b64c-e3076d408c57">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 1 month old : Nobody is saying anything to you about YOUR choices. They're talking about your advice to the OP, which is nothing more than "I did it this way, which is the only right way, so obviously you should too."
Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

I never said she should do it that way. I said I agreed with how she felt and explained why.

cdeguide74 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-want-babies-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e670e5d-eed8-4704-a7dc-079daeadd2ccPost:8bdf3d16-fe05-4ca0-b64c-e3076d408c57">Re: 1 month old</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 1 month old : Nobody is saying anything to you about YOUR choices. They're talking about your advice to the OP, which is nothing more than "I did it this way, which is the only right way, so obviously you should too."
Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

I never said she should do it 'my" way. I said agreed with how she felt and I explained why.

1 month old

Re: 1 month old

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