Age is just a number, right?

RedJacks25 · April 2014

There is no more logic behind comparing yourself with your parents' successful marriage than there is behind me comparing myself with my parents' terrible divorce-ending marriage.

Just because your parents' marriage lasted doesn't mean yours will, and just because your parents' marriage didn't last doesn't mean yours won't. You are all completely individual people.

climbingsingle · April 2014

My parents were married at 19 and 20. They are still married 43 years later.

I got married at 23. The marriage was over within a year.

Nikita2013 · April 2014

KenziRae18 Wow ur ring is gorgeous! I know how u feel, i felt the same way the first time i posted something on here. I think it was just the wrong topic for this website. my discussion not yours lol. anyway, I'm a pretty young bride myself, 22, my fiance and I don't live together, I'm finishing up school (got 2 more years to go). So our plan is for me to graduate, get a job in my field, move in together and then get married. I'm not saying you should follow my plan,just saying that it does depend on the couple and your situation. U both got a decent job, live together and love each other? I say go for it! Good luck and congradulations!!

XxWorkingOnItxX · April 2014

Congrats, OP!

I was (and honestly, still am) in the same boat as you. My fiance and i were in high school during our first engagement, and if that ain't brutal i don't know what is. People will always tell you they think, whether it be good or bad. Never take other people's words too personally, like the frequent "too young" comment or the accompanying question, "Aren't you a little young to be thinking of marriage?" If you think you're really ready, then you go girl! Good luck!

Dignity100 · April 2014

Every relationship is different. Some work out, some don't. Some young couples are able to grow together while others do not change in the same ways or the person isn't who they really thought them to be.

My exBF and I never were married, we dated for 7 years. I thought I was going to marry him, but after he moved in with me that all changed. You see - he wanted a relationship like his parents where his mom did ALL the housework (cooking, cleaning, etc) and took care of his father (who is disabled). She did not work, I worked 40+ hours a week and took care of most of the bills because he was heavily in debt from college. I felt it was more of a mother/child relationship than a partnership and I wanted a partnership. There was a lot of other stuff in there dealing with emotions and such as well. We started dating when I was 19.

One of my FI's family members is 19 and engaged - she's waiting until she gets out of school before she marries. She came with me to pick out my wedding dress and even the ladies helping me out told her to wait until she was at least 23 and established. In her case, we are all hoping she does wait because her FI is overly dependent on her and disrespectful towards her family.

Take your time and get to know your FI better. Finish up school (if you're continuing with school) and see the world. I'm not telling you not to marry your FI, but I also would hate to see you miss out on something that life had to offer for you because you were 'tied down'.

One piece of advice that I will give is take some time to live on your own - I think everybody should live on their own for at least a few months to learn how to take care of themselves. I know this was one of the problems with my exBF (I honestly do not believe he understood what all he was asking of me because he went from living with his parents to dorm room to living with me).

Nikita2013 · April 2014

I don't think it's necessary to live on your own before you move in with someone, by the time you are 18 ven younger than that, you should be able to take care of yourself even without living on your own. I work and go to school and I pay bills just like any other person and my fiance does the same at his home cause its just him and his mom so hes the man of the house. But that's just my opinion. It's all based off of how you feel in your relationship and how you are in your relationship, that's all that matters in the end.

manateehugger · April 2014

Nikita2013 said:

I don't think it's necessary to live on your own before you move in with someone, by the time you are 18 ven younger than that, you should be able to take care of yourself even without living on your own. I work and go to school and I pay bills just like any other person and my fiance does the same at his home cause its just him and his mom so hes the man of the house. But that's just my opinion. It's all based off of how you feel in your relationship and how you are in your relationship, that's all that matters in the end.

I don't know about you, but the moment I started living on my own (or with roommates), life got a lot more stressful.

Things like rent, bills, and household maintenance factor in big time. That money you thought was great in high school/college suddenly becomes really not all that great when you're taking care of yourself.

Independence is very important to personal development and learning about your needs; it's hard to gain that independence while living with a parent or SO. I learned a lot about myself the minute I moved out of my mother's house.

Is living on your own 100% necessary? Probably not for everyone, but I don't think it can do anything but strengthen a relationship and avoid conflict when moving in together as well as unhealthy codependency.

mimiphin · April 2014

Oh Lordy where to start!

OP, In my experience someone who says that I'm X age doing Y but don't worry I'm really mature for my age, isn't. If you need to get approval from internet strangers to do what you want that's not mature in my books. (you being the royal You, not you in particular)

If you do truly want to marry this man then I would wait until 2016, save up a bit and have some more experiences under your belt.

I have never lived on my own but I really wish I did. I have live in University Dorms, with roommates and now with my BF turned FI for the past 3.5 years.

I guess I am a "young bride" but most of my friends are already married and got married to have sex, which is a dreadful reason. There are so many better reasons to get married. My FI and I have been together since I was 19, and we got engaged in Nov 2013 and I was 23. We are planning on getting married in Sept 2015. I don't think of myself as being a young bride. But I do remember there was a time when I knew that I wanted to marry him but had he asked I would have said no. I was to young and I couldn't see myself getting married then. Then I woke up one day and was like- Ok I'm ready now! 1.5 years later he proposed.

I had a friend get married and move out from Mum's house in to wedding house and I asked them what was the biggest change now that they were married. Know what they said, Buying Groceries!!! I couldn't believe it of all the things that's what they both said was how being married was.

I never even thought of the drinking issue! God I don't think I could get married if I wasn't legal have a cocktail!

bananasplit472001 · April 2014

KenziRae18 said:

I just recently got engaged to the love of my life, about 3 weeks ago, in Las Vegas. It was the best moment of my life! We got engaged on top of the Eiffel Tower. I don't even know if he was able to ask "Will you marry me?", because I was screaming and crying so hard. It was honestly a moment that I never will forget.

I feel I have always been very mature for my age, growing up the baby in the family and my sister being the closest in age to me, at 6 years difference. Well, I am 19 years old and my fiancé will be 21 this September. I know this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, he has already made a big difference on my life. My whole family loves him, this is the first time they all have had positive feedback from anyone I have brought home.

At first before we got engaged, I always said I want to be 21 before I get married. Now I'm not sure if it's just the excitement of being engaged but, my fiancé and his parents want to have the wedding next summer, when I would be 20. I mean it would be nice to legally have a glass of wine or what ever on my wedding day. I guess I would be okay with it, but in a way I am worried about other people judging us and saying we are too young.

Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
-McKenzie

I had the same thought that I would need to be over the age of 21 before I got engaged. I got engaged several years after I turned 21. Honestly it was the best decision I've ever made. Now i am squarely in the middle of my wedding planning process and couldn't have wished for a better time to be engaged. We both have our bachelor's degree in the science field, both have fun and rewarding jobs, and most of all we are financially stable. If we had gotten engaged after a few months of being together we would have none of those things. It is very important to not only just "know" that you will spend the rest of your life with someone but to have a solid foundation and the means to actually live that life with someone. I do not know your personal situation but i surmise from your previous comments that you are still in school working towards your future. My advice to you is enjoy your engagement and just start planning your wedding after you get your college degree and find a job in your field. You really don't want all that other "stuff" (ie: college and finding an entry-level job) in your way of your wedding planning. It just wouldn't be as fun if I had to focus on making my life stable. Wait until your life is secure and you can take the time to plan.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

I did not live on my own before H and I moved in together. BUT, my parents had bought a house in Florida and would spend a month or two at a time down there while I stayed at home and took care of things. They would pay the mortgage and other major bills from Florida but I had to cook and clean and do laundry, take care of the yard (cutting grass, trimming bushes, etc), and I was working and going to school. So this kind of took the place of living on my own. When H and I did move in with each other we sat down and made a budget. We made note of all the bills we had to pay and how much each person made and how much each person should contribute based off their paycheck and personal bills.

So I don't think it is completely necessary to live on your own first but I do think that you need to have a good plan in place in regards to finances, household chores, etc with your SO BEFORE you move in together.

Age is just a number, right?

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