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Snarky Brides

Annoyed and FH doesn't agree.

2

Re: Annoyed and FH doesn't agree.

  • @CMGragain your right it won't. I have no illusions about marriage and what our marriage will be. I understand they take work. Were both willing and excited for this next step. No FI doesn't have a drinking problem. So what he let loose at a party. He did apologize to HA many times. Like I said
    He still feels like an asshole. Apparently were just villains. He blamed me cuz I said he could. I don't care for the guy and could give a shit what he thinks of me. I'm so glad all of you members on this site have perfect spouses with perfect friends and perfect lives. I'm so relieved I've given you all a glimpse into my chaotic world and have also given you an outlet to sit in judgement all day. I bet I've made your week huh? I don't pretend to not have problems. I've never been ashamed to own up to them. FI hasn't either.
  • Then tell him the right thing to do is to be honest with his friend and take responsibility for his/your actions. Love and respect go hand in hand and I can't understand how you can possibly respect someone who does not take responsibility for their own behaviour. That said, you need to own up to your responsibility in not wanting him in the wedding party when 'drunk FH' decided that he did. If these people are such 'degenerate addicts' in your eyes, why does it matter what they think anyways?!
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MegTrashy said:
    @katwag wow I'm still sitting here seeing all The posts and am Answering questions. How big is that stick up your ass. So what maybe I'm not done posting it's my board! @skrekspeare yes I'm completely sure. He's the biggest teddy bear in the world and I love being with him. It was an adjustment getting used to the name but ok over it now. In the grander scale of things he's my best friend my partner my biggest supporter and I am his #1 fan. I can't wait to be his Mrs. In all things.

    You really dont understand how the internet works, do you?
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    RebeccaB88
  • So you posted this on a board called "Snarky Brides" and you're surprised that you're being met with criticism and snark? Granted, you'd be met with the same on any other board here given the circumstances, but this one in particular...what on earth did you expect?
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    CMGragainstarbright2013
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I have a serious question. If you are distancing yourself from these people and have already committed a potentially friendship-ending move by kicking the friend out of the wedding party, why are you worried about how to address their invitation? Address it how you'd like. Or not at all. You obviously have quite a bit of disdain for these people, so why not just end the friendship?

    ~*~*~*~*~

  • I have wished it for sometime but FH just won't do it. It's not worth the fight. They don't affect me on a personal level until now. Loom I get it it was an asshole thing I'm not shying away from that but we did what we thought was right you all don't have to agree. You all don't have to be so cruel either. Yes I get how the internet works. It's usually fat assholes with no life that sit behind a keyboard and say the nasty things about others to feel better. I came to this board for advise. I was met with snarky brides and caddy cunts. As Michael Bluthe (it's probably wrong spelling) said it best I didn't know what I expected. Maybe a little bit of of camaraderie since were all brides looking for advice.
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    BAHAHAHAHA laughing so hard at this.  OP, what did you expect when you posted on the Snarky Brides board?
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    Vivandiere8
  • MegTrashy said:
    I have wished it for sometime but FH just won't do it. It's not worth the fight. They don't affect me on a personal level until now. Loom I get it it was an asshole thing I'm not shying away from that but we did what we thought was right you all don't have to agree. You all don't have to be so cruel either. Yes I get how the internet works. It's usually fat assholes with no life that sit behind a keyboard and say the nasty things about others to feel better. I came to this board for advise. I was met with snarky brides and caddy catty cunts. As Michael Bluthe (it's probably wrong spelling) said it best I didn't know what I expected. Maybe a little bit of of camaraderie since were all brides looking for advice.
    If you're going to insult someone, do it right. You're going to get yourself banned in record time if you keep using that type of language.  Be an adult and knock it off.
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    grumbledoreHisGirlFriday13SKPM
  • Oh what the hell? Really? I don't know which is more offensive. The op's manners or her repeated use of the "c" word.
    KGold80
  • MegTrashy said:
    I have wished it for sometime but FH just won't do it. It's not worth the fight. They don't affect me on a personal level until now. Loom I get it it was an asshole thing I'm not shying away from that but we did what we thought was right you all don't have to agree. You all don't have to be so cruel either. Yes I get how the internet works. It's usually fat assholes with no life that sit behind a keyboard and say the nasty things about others to feel better. I came to this board for advise. I was met with snarky brides and caddy cunts. As Michael Bluthe (it's probably wrong spelling) said it best I didn't know what I expected. Maybe a little bit of of camaraderie since were all brides looking for advice.
    I also think you came for advice. Not to advise.
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    pinkshorts27
  • Ok I get it I'm a moron. My fiancé and I are rude. I apologize for the bad language. Your right what did I expect? Obviously not this. I can't help but defend my self when I have everyone thinking the worst of me. I am owning up to what we did. It's not right but I don't regret it. We did what we felt was the best thing for OUR wedding. I came for ADVISE on what to do about the invite and opened a can of worms. I opened Pandora's box with my post which was not my intention. I said I wasn't the best at spelling. I'm just today's sport for ridicule on the message boards.
  • Seriously, this isn't even the most interesting stupid thread of the day.  Way to fail at life @MegTrashy.

    Is your FI DJ Trashy in AL?

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    RebeccaB88Vivandiere8
  • You came here for advice about addressing a wedding invitation, which was easily answered, but when you posted your question you waved a lot of red flags.  Were we supposed to ignore them?  No. 
    You were given a lot of really good advice about your relationship.  It is up to you whether you follow through.  You do tend to be dismissive of people you don't like, and that isn't good. You are going to have to deal with many people you dislike, or disapprove, and treating them as if they have no feelings won't help you resolve conflicts.
    You have been passing judgement on us, too, though you know nothing about us.  Many of us are from very troubled backgrounds, including alcoholism and drug abuse.  We speak from experience.
    I think you should go talk to your FI.  His guilt feelings are very understandable.  Maybe this experience will help him to not repeat his mistakes.  You need to think more about consequences before urging him to do something irresponsible again.
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    Vivandiere8cupcait927
  • Epic use of the mixed metaphor, OP but in the main I think I have an insufficiency of fucks to give.
    KGold80pinkshorts27
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    WTF
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • @grumbledore you actually made me laugh! And no he's not but thanx for the heads up that some else out there is named trashy. I'll have to let him know. And I feel better that I'm not the stupidest post there is today. Hardly anyone gave me advice about how to address the envelope. I think maybe 5 people did. Everyone else gave me advice on how I'm rude for making a decision based on what we felt was best for our wedding. FI won't be doing that again. Honestly the guy would have been in our wedding I would have had no problem with that. But given the circumstances we had no other choice.
  • MegTrashy said:
    @grumbledore you actually made me laugh! And no he's not but thanx for the heads up that some else out there is named trashy. I'll have to let him know. And I feel better that I'm not the stupidest post there is today. Hardly anyone gave me advice about how to address the envelope. I think maybe 5 people did. Everyone else gave me advice on how I'm rude for making a decision based on what we felt was best for our wedding. FI won't be doing that again. Honestly the guy would have been in our wedding I would have had no problem with that. But given the circumstances we had no other choice.
    Sigh!  Still in denial.
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    HisGirlFriday13
  • KGold80KGold80 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    You are totally back pedaling at this point. You made it clear that under no circumstances was this guy allowed in your wedding and were totally okay with how the situation was handled. I think what happened here is that you thought people would be like "RA RA RA way to go! Those people suck!" and were caught off guard by the reaction you ultimately got. Now you're trying to justify your behavior.

    You received advice about the envelope. Had the OP been limited to the envelope issue, we wouldn't even be having this discussion. You added the P.S. about your rude behavior. You are the one to blame here. Own it.
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  • I own it. Your right I didn't expect the response. I'm hurt that's why I feel I should defend myself. I'm even debating if we should put him back in the wedding. My better judgement tells me I'll regret it but this post has rocked me on my decision. We've known for months about his issues and had decided against him together and then FI went behind my back I was shocked when he told me. I know he regretted the whole thing as soon as it happened. We brainstormed for a few months on how to fix this. My niece (a JR maid ) I wanted them to walk down the aisle together. The friend did some shady stuff to my FI and he got so upset that he was like I can't trust him to not mess our wedding up. He told me after the fact that he told him what happened. The thing is it was only half a lie I did recently have a friend screw me over and we are no longer friends I was even debating asking her to be in the wedding but as it turned out I didn't need to ask her. So FI took it in his own hands. Yes he was a coward and used me. That doesn't bother me, so if that makes me a bad person so be it. How do you tell an addict "Hey! So your not in my wedding because your a loser hooked on drugs." We felt this was the lesser of two evils this way. I don't hate the guy I do dislike the GF. Im completely civil to her when I'm in her presence so yes I deal with people I dislike. I'm upset with how's he's treated FI lately and I'm defensive for him. He's a long time friend and FI doesn't want to just throw their friendship away he knows he's not himself. You make someone get help who doesn't want it. The envelope was addressed but it know I'm still going to have to address it as they like because FI feels so guilty about the wedding party debacle. Were nice people who did a crappy thing. I own that. I regret it had to happen.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2014
    My sister was married to a drug dealer when I was married, and she was my MOH.  I told her husband, "You are invited to my wedding if you agree to attend without the use of recreational drugs. If I see your pupils dilated, you will be asked to leave."  He agreed.
    My reception was alcohol free, too.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I would totally do that! But like I said he is so hooked he has the shakes and vomits and tells everyone he has the "flu". I know when he comes he will be high. My reception is not alcohol free but it is limited to beer and wine and I won't have that much for everyone to get drunk on. If I ask him not to use for our wedding he will not attend because he will have the "flu". I don't know what else to do. FI won't budge about him being a guest and the guy doesn't cause trouble. He's just a user. He's never stolen from us, or even forced anything on us. FI has never used with him. I completely trust that FI has a good head on his shoulders he himself has come from a troubled past and won't ever let drugs affect him like he's seen loved ones affected.
  • Oh no...I don't think for one minute that you should address the envelope the way they asked. If they have an issue with it, they can decline the invitation.

    I'm honestly glad that you recognize that what you and your fiancé did to this guy was wrong. Your fiancé should have had an honest conversation with his longtime friend about his concerns and addressed the drug abuse issue instead of kicking him out of the wedding party and lying about the reason for it. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Hopefully you guys will eventually make it right.
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  • I never denied what we did wasn't wrong. I just felt that we had to do it. He should talk to his friend but he's the kind of guy that let's people live their lives. I have encouraged him to talk to his friend but he likes to be private and like to but out. He gets upset when his buddies GF tell me their issues.
  • @larrygaga. I respect thats how you feel and I understand that it may make me sound ignorant and I'm ok with you being embarrassed for me. Your right I should come up with a better term like Bully,  or snarky. But I love the word c u next tuesday. its so powerful. And I call myself one as well. I got out of hand earlier. I felt ganged up on and I attacked. I am a person who reacts and then realize what I did. I do regret how i handled things on this blog today. I'm glad most of you actually came back to hear the rest of my BS and actually gave me advice for it. In my experience being abrupt and in your face has been positive. Ive met my best friends that way. Im not a sugar coater, I tell you how it is and I'm very crass. I have a potty mouth. I will refrain from cursing on the boards. I don't want to be banned. I hope hoping to walk away from this whole thing with a few board friends. I don't really have anyone to talk wedding stuff about. 
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Okay, now if you cool your jets we can all be happy friends and eat a cake made of rainbows and smiles and we can all eat it and be happy.

    It's cool if you want to be crass, but use different words. I curse like a sailor and I never say words like that. You have to respect yourself before anyone else can respect you.
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    KGold80MegTrashyluckysnorkel
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