No appetizers for cocktail hour

Tweetheart · April 2014

Our ceremony and reception are in the same place - getting married outside (hopefully) in the courtyard and then moving inside for the reception. It's a small casual wedding in the bar & patio of a local family owned restaurant. We are also on a really tight budget. They don't offer any type of bar package so we are stuck with a consumption bar at crazy high prices. We are going to offer beer, wine, soda, water for the first hour and then definitely soda and beer the remainder of the evening after dinner. Our wedding programs will be kraft paper bags with the program printed on them, filled with popcorn. We will have a popcorn bar during the cocktail hour (still unsure if it'll be an hour or half hour) and the remainder of the evening. Do you think we need to offer additional food during the cocktail hour or is the popcorn bar (7-8 different types of popcorn) sufficient? Truth be told, the only reason we are even having a cocktail hour is to facilitate time for us to take photos since FH is really adamant about us not seeing each other before the ceremony. Our budget doesn't really allow for food during the cocktail hour and the popcorn bar is really inexpensive but I'm worried that we'll be making a big mistake without additional food during that time. Also, do you think 30 minutes for the formal photos (on site, we are not going elsewhere) is sufficient or will we need the hour?

FYI - our dinner will consist of a salad and soup bar and then a full buffet with 3 meat choices, a pasta, veggie, potato, and dessert (in addition to cupcakes and wedding cake). We will also have candy scattered on the tables (licorice and candy bars) as well as two large lollipop trees.

QueerFemme · April 2014

Tweetheart said:

Our ceremony and reception are in the same place - getting married outside (hopefully) in the courtyard and then moving inside for the reception. It's a small casual wedding in the bar & patio of a local family owned restaurant. We are also on a really tight budget. They don't offer any type of bar package so we are stuck with a consumption bar at crazy high prices. We are going to offer beer, wine, soda, water for the first hour and then definitely soda and beer the remainder of the evening after dinner. Our wedding programs will be kraft paper bags with the program printed on them, filled with popcorn. We will have a popcorn bar during the cocktail hour (still unsure if it'll be an hour or half hour) and the remainder of the evening. Do you think we need to offer additional food during the cocktail hour or is the popcorn bar (7-8 different types of popcorn) sufficient? Truth be told, the only reason we are even having a cocktail hour is to facilitate time for us to take photos since FH is really adamant about us not seeing each other before the ceremony. Our budget doesn't really allow for food during the cocktail hour and the popcorn bar is really inexpensive but I'm worried that we'll be making a big mistake without additional food during that time. Also, do you think 30 minutes for the formal photos (on site, we are not going elsewhere) is sufficient or will we need the hour?

FYI - our dinner will consist of a salad and soup bar and then a full buffet with 3 meat choices, a pasta, veggie, potato, and dessert (in addition to cupcakes and wedding cake). We will also have candy scattered on the tables (licorice and candy bars) as well as two large lollipop trees.

I do think you need more food for cocktail hour. Even if it's just cheese & crackers and a veggie platter. Also, please reconsider changing your bar part of the way through the evening. If people start drinking wine, they aren't going to want to switch over to beer. That is asking for unhappy guests and probably, some stomach aches. I'd be sick.

QueerFemme · April 2014

PS - 1/2 hour might be fine. It depends on how many photos you plan to take, and sizes of family. Try to take all of the photos that don't include you and your FI together before the wedding. (you with your BMs and family, him with his GMs and family, etc.) and just take the ones of you all together after the ceremony. That will help shorten the time needed for photos.

Tweetheart · April 2014

We aren't taking any photos before the ceremony since we only have the photographer for a very limited number of hours...neither of us have large families and we're not big photo people so I'm hoping an organized list of must take photos will expedite things with our photog. Wine will still be available as will all hard liquor, we just won't be hosting it at that point. If we change anything we would skip hosting wine completely and just host beer and soda. The price for wine is just so expensive to offer it for the entire night, our bar tab would exceed our food and I can't justify that not to mention we simply cannot afford that. In talking to our coordinator and the restaurant manager they both said that it's pretty common to offer more during the cocktail hour as opposed to the remainder of the evening. We just moved up here and we've never attended a wedding here, just going by what we've been told is common for this area. I'm struggling with this because where I come from, open bar is automatic but a) we simply cannot afford that and b) they don't even offer a bar package of any type.

CrazyCatLady3 · April 2014

If your cocktail time is really only 30 min, I could deal with just popcorn. But if it's a full hour I'd want some real food, at least cheese, crackers, veggies and fruit. Can you offer one specific type of affordable wine (one white and one red) to keep the bar tab manageable but have it all night?

kaos16 · April 2014

Tweetheart said:
We aren't taking any photos before the ceremony since we only have the photographer for a very limited number of hours...neither of us have large families and we're not big photo people so I'm hoping an organized list of must take photos will expedite things with our photog.

Wine will still be available as will all hard liquor, we just won't be hosting it at that point. If we change anything we would skip hosting wine completely and just host beer and soda. The price for wine is just so expensive to offer it for the entire night, our bar tab would exceed our food and I can't justify that not to mention we simply cannot afford that. In talking to our coordinator and the restaurant manager they both said that it's pretty common to offer more during the cocktail hour as opposed to the remainder of the evening. We just moved up here and we've never attended a wedding here, just going by what we've been told is common for this area. I'm struggling with this because where I come from, open bar is automatic but a) we simply cannot afford that and b) they don't even offer a bar package of any type.

If you aren't going to host hard liquor or wine, that's fine...... But don't have it available for individual purchase. That plan, a partial cash bar, is considered rude. Not to mention, it will be confusing to switch from hosting wine during cocktail time to not. Maybe you can do beer and sangria (as a cheaper alternative to wine) or something. Either way, just host what you can afford. In the alternative, do a dry wedding, just offer water, soft drinks, etc.

I would also suggest cheese and crackers or a veggie plate. If the popcorn is popped in coconut oil (as a ton of it is these days) I would get deathly I'll if I ate it. There are also people who don't like popcorn, so if you can manage another option I would try to.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2014

If you can't afford to host the wine all night, take the money you're spending on it and shift it to some cheese and crackers. There's nothing wrong with just beer and soda, or a dry wedding, as long as you never ask guests to pay for it. Imagine how shocked and embarrassed your guests would be if they had a glass of wine during cocktail hour, went back for a second later, tried to walk away with it and were told "excuse me, that'll be $6." Far better to just not offer it.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2014

PS I understand it can be confusing when all you have to go off of is a venue coordinator who's trying to make money. But even if they tell you "we do this all the time" doesn't mean it's the polite thing to do.

Tweetheart · April 2014

Our wedding is in a bar so it's not like we can restrict what is offered, it's right there since they will already be serving for the other areas of the restaruant. We can restrict what we pay for. The advice of what to serve (the norm in the area) came from not only the restaurant coordinator but also my DOC, who has planned hundreds of weddings in the area. At this point, the wine is probably not going to be hosted, we will offer the soda, water, beer, and coffee. If people opt for wine or hard liquor it'll be their choice/expense.

Thanks for all the helpful advice about the actual question.

kaos16 · April 2014

Tweetheart said:

Our wedding is in a bar so it's not like we can restrict what is offered, it's right there since they will already be serving for the other areas of the restaruant. We can restrict what we pay for. The advice of what to serve (the norm in the area) came from not only the restaurant coordinator but also my DOC, who has planned hundreds of weddings in the area. At this point, the wine is probably not going to be hosted, we will offer the soda, water, beer, and coffee. If people opt for wine or hard liquor it'll be their choice/expense.

Thanks for all the helpful advice about the actual question.

If the venue can't/won't remove the other items from the bar I would at least put little signs on the bar indicating "please enjoy soda, water, beer and coffee compliments of the Bride and Groom" or something so that people aren't surprised when they get charged.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

kaos16 said:

Tweetheart said:

Our wedding is in a bar so it's not like we can restrict what is offered, it's right there since they will already be serving for the other areas of the restaruant. We can restrict what we pay for. The advice of what to serve (the norm in the area) came from not only the restaurant coordinator but also my DOC, who has planned hundreds of weddings in the area. At this point, the wine is probably not going to be hosted, we will offer the soda, water, beer, and coffee. If people opt for wine or hard liquor it'll be their choice/expense.

Thanks for all the helpful advice about the actual question.

If the venue can't/won't remove the other items from the bar I would at least put little signs on the bar indicating "please enjoy soda, water, beer and coffee compliments of the Bride and Groom" or something so that people aren't surprised when they get charged.

This. You need to make it known what you are hosting. You don't want guests to go up to the bar thinking that they can get whatever they want and then do a double take when the bartender tells them it will be $8 for their jack and coke.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2014

I did answer your original question when I suggested cheese and crackers. I think you need more food options.

QueerFemme · April 2014

Tweetheart said:

Our wedding is in a bar so it's not like we can restrict what is offered, it's right there since they will already be serving for the other areas of the restaruant. We can restrict what we pay for. The advice of what to serve (the norm in the area) came from not only the restaurant coordinator but also my DOC, who has planned hundreds of weddings in the area. At this point, the wine is probably not going to be hosted, we will offer the soda, water, beer, and coffee. If people opt for wine or hard liquor it'll be their choice/expense.

Thanks for all the helpful advice about the actual question.

The restaurant coordinator and DOC doesn't care if you are being rude. I realize that it's probably too late, but your venue is just not appropriate for what you are hosting. If you aren't going to host your guests, don't have your wedding in a bar.

Tweetheart · April 2014

Wow....thanks for the advice. I appreciate the input that has to do with my actual question. As far as what beverages we are offering and whether our location is appropriate, it's perfectly appropriate. I'm not going to justify why we are doing what we are doing nor did I go into details of what type of information we've given our guests or anything else...because it has ZERO bearing on the subject at hand.

Good luck with your weddings and have a great day.

JoanE2012 · April 2014

You need to put out a sign. I'd be ticked off if I had a glass of wine during cocktail hour and then went back up during dinner and had to pay for it. What a tease!!

As for the food, you definitely need something a bit more than popcorn. I would also reconsider having the popcorn already in bags for the ceremony. It's not a movie theater....do you really want people chomping down while you're saying your vows?

penguin44 · April 2014

It would probably be easier for you, and better for your guests, if you just laid out the bags for the popcorn, and they got to pick what kind they wanted. I love popcorn, but if you are going to do pics for more than 30 minutes, I would want more with my beer. I would make up a list of portraits you want and ask your photog how long that will take. My photographer said he does portraits very quickly, but others may be different.

I know you can't help that the bar would be open, but I think a sign letting people know what you are hosting will help greatly. It will make it easier on your guests. Don't worry about hosting wine at all. Just host what you can afford.

Jen4948 · April 2014

I think you could definitely use more food options than just popcorn, and you'll definitely need a sign to make clear what you are providing free of charge to your guests and what is not free to them.

And I agree that the popcorn should not be available during the ceremony itself. That could get messy!

manateehugger · April 2014

Agreed put up a sign to indicate what you are hosting. Have fun with it and make a cute bar menu!

If I were you, I'd ditch the wine since you can't host it all night, and order a couple veggie/cheese/cracker platters for people to munch on.

STARMOON44 · April 2014

Get rid of the candy and the lollipop trees and the popcorn and any sort of program and use that money to serve actual appetizers at the cocktail hour. I'd also suggest that if you can't afford to offer appetizers then you can't afford a cocktail hour and you need a new solution to the photo problem or a new venue that you can actually afford. Without a cash bar. It's rude.

Sonietsjka · April 2014

You’re having a popcorn bar and full dinner afterwards, so in my opinion it is not necessary to add appetisers, even if the cocktail hour is 60 minutes. Guests will survive going half an hour without food. I never really understand the very elaborate cocktail hours followed by a full dinner.

I personally would serve a savoury instead of a sweet snack during this time of day though, but of course that is my personal preference. If you and your FI are big on popcorn, go with popcorn.

However, if you’re planning on doing a two hour ceremony, you might want to consider serving a little more than popcorn as guests will probably be looking for something a little more substantial.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

Sonietsjka said:

You’re having a popcorn bar and full dinner afterwards, so in my opinion it is not necessary to add appetisers, even if the cocktail hour is 60 minutes. Guests will survive going half an hour without food. I never really understand the very elaborate cocktail hours followed by a full dinner.

I personally would serve a savoury instead of a sweet snack during this time of day though, but of course that is my personal preference. If you and your FI are big on popcorn, go with popcorn.

However, if you’re planning on doing a two hour ceremony, you might want to consider serving a little more than popcorn as guests will probably be looking for something a little more substantial.

Um, no. If alcohol is available you need to serve something substantial with it (and popcorn is not substantial) unless you want a lot of drunk guests at your wedding. During a 30 minute cocktail hour I could down 2 glasses of wine and with no food in my belly except a handful of popcorn and I am buzzed.

You need to remember that if your ceremony is at, say 4pm, then your guests probably haven't eaten anything since lunch (noon) so not having anything but popcorn during the cocktail hour would make for some very hungry and irritated guests.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2014

I don't think she's coming back.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

Maggie0829 said:

Sonietsjka said:

You’re having a
popcorn bar and full dinner afterwards, so in my opinion it is not necessary to
add appetisers, even if the cocktail hour is 60 minutes. Guests will survive
going half an hour without food. I never really understand the very elaborate
cocktail hours followed by a full dinner.

I personally would
serve a savoury instead of a sweet snack during this time of day though, but of
course that is my personal preference. If you and your FI are big on popcorn, go
with popcorn.

However, if you’re planning
on doing a two hour ceremony, you might want to consider serving a little more
than popcorn as guests will probably be looking for something a little more
substantial.

Um, no. If alcohol is available you need to serve something substantial with it (and popcorn is not substantial) unless you want a lot of drunk guests at your wedding. During a 30 minute cocktail hour I could down 2 glasses of wine and with no food in my belly except a handful of popcorn and I am buzzed.

You need to remember that if your ceremony is at, say 4pm, then your guests probably haven't eaten anything since lunch (noon) so not having anything but popcorn during the cocktail hour would make for some very hungry and irritated guests.

Besides that, guests who are diabetic, hyperglycemic, or hypoglycemic can get really ill if they don't eat properly or regularly.

If I haven't eaten lunch since 12pm or 1pm and dinner isn't going to be served until 7pm or later, thats 6-7 hours you are expecting me to survive without food. . . Not 30mins. That long a time lapse and I'm going to get a nasty headache that can lead to a nastier migraine, on top of getting shakey.

Popcorn alone won't cut it for me.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

Love the idea of the popcorn bar & how you are doing your programs, very creative. Only suggestion I would make is if you can afford it what about adding veggie tray? Reason I'm suggesting this is that way if you have any guests that are on special diets (either for weight loss or medical ie. diabetics) having veggies would give them an option and it's an option that is probably less expensive then other items.

Gerbertmcway · April 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

Sonietsjka said:

You’re having a popcorn bar and full dinner afterwards, so in my opinion it is not necessary to add appetisers, even if the cocktail hour is 60 minutes. Guests will survive going half an hour without food. I never really understand the very elaborate cocktail hours followed by a full dinner.

I personally would serve a savoury instead of a sweet snack during this time of day though, but of course that is my personal preference. If you and your FI are big on popcorn, go with popcorn.

However, if you’re planning on doing a two hour ceremony, you might want to consider serving a little more than popcorn as guests will probably be looking for something a little more substantial.

Um, no. If alcohol is available you need to serve something substantial with it (and popcorn is not substantial) unless you want a lot of drunk guests at your wedding. During a 30 minute cocktail hour I could down 2 glasses of wine and with no food in my belly except a handful of popcorn and I am buzzed.

You need to remember that if your ceremony is at, say 4pm, then your guests probably haven't eaten anything since lunch (noon) so not having anything but popcorn during the cocktail hour would make for some very hungry and irritated guests.
Besides that, guests who are diabetic, hyperglycemic, or hypoglycemic can get really ill if they don't eat properly or regularly. If I haven't eaten lunch since 12pm or 1pm and dinner isn't going to be served until 7pm or later, thats 6-7 hours you are expecting me to survive without food. . . Not 30mins. That long a time lapse and I'm going to get a nasty headache that can lead to a nastier migraine, on top of getting shakey. Popcorn alone won't cut it for me.

As long as dinner is served at a reasonable time, adults should be able to figure out when to eat as to not be starving to the point of having medical issues.

ohannabelle · April 2014

You have 3 meat options. Lovely, but unnecessary. Cut it to 2 options, which is generous enough. You don't need dessert and cupcakes and cake and candy. Cake is dessert. Take that money and use it for more substantial appetizers.

grumbledore · April 2014

Tweetheart said:
Wow....thanks for the advice. I appreciate the input that has to do with my actual question. As far as what beverages we are offering and whether our location is appropriate, it's perfectly appropriate. I'm not going to justify why we are doing what we are doing nor did I go into details of what type of information we've given our guests or anything else...because it has ZERO bearing on the subject at hand.

Good luck with your weddings and have a great day.

No, ot most certainly is not appropriate, but do whatever you want.

banana468 · April 2014

Gerbertmcway said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Maggie0829 said:

Sonietsjka said:

You’re having a
popcorn bar and full dinner afterwards, so in my opinion it is not necessary to
add appetisers, even if the cocktail hour is 60 minutes. Guests will survive
going half an hour without food. I never really understand the very elaborate
cocktail hours followed by a full dinner.

I personally would
serve a savoury instead of a sweet snack during this time of day though, but of
course that is my personal preference. If you and your FI are big on popcorn, go
with popcorn.

However, if you’re planning
on doing a two hour ceremony, you might want to consider serving a little more
than popcorn as guests will probably be looking for something a little more
substantial.

Um, no. If alcohol is available you need to serve something substantial with it (and popcorn is not substantial) unless you want a lot of drunk guests at your wedding. During a 30 minute cocktail hour I could down 2 glasses of wine and with no food in my belly except a handful of popcorn and I am buzzed.

You need to remember that if your ceremony is at, say 4pm, then your guests probably haven't eaten anything since lunch (noon) so not having anything but popcorn during the cocktail hour would make for some very hungry and irritated guests.
Besides that, guests who are diabetic, hyperglycemic, or hypoglycemic can get really ill if they don't eat properly or regularly.

If I haven't eaten lunch since 12pm or 1pm and dinner isn't going to be served until 7pm or later, thats 6-7 hours you are expecting me to survive without food. . . Not 30mins. That long a time lapse and I'm going to get a nasty headache that can lead to a nastier migraine, on top of getting shakey.

Popcorn alone won't cut it for me.

As long as dinner is served at a reasonable time, adults should be able to figure out when to eat as to not be starving to the point of having medical issues.

Of course they can figure out WHEN to eat. The issue is what if there isn't anything available TO eat?

huskypuppy14 · April 2014

ohannabelle said:

You have 3 meat options. Lovely, but unnecessary. Cut it to 2 options, which is generous enough. You don't need dessert and cupcakes and cake and candy. Cake is dessert. Take that money and use it for more substantial appetizers.

It's possible that she has a package, which includes the 3 meat options and cake and cupcakes, that can't be changed. I agree on the candy though. If any of this is extra money, get rid of it. It's unnecessary.

MyNameIsNot · April 2014

This is what happens when you sign a venue without really looking into what it costs.

If you can't afford to properly host your guests, you can't afford the venue. Your family and friends should be more important than a pretty courtyard.

mariabfromaz1 · April 2014

It's your wedding and however you decide to proceed will be GREAT! Personally, I think the popcorn bar is a really cute idea and I don't think you need any more for that for a short cocktail party. Enjoy your special day!!!

No appetizers for cocktail hour

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