OLW

Peaseblossom55 · April 2014

Dear self,

You need to a) work out more and b) stop stalking your registry C)stop having really weird dreams

Love,

Me

FI,

Thank you for joining me for dinner with my crazy family. You are amazing. I love having more to hang out with you movie watch and play catch up on Game of Thrones. Yay birthday tomorrow!

Me

Dear friend,

Can't wait to see you and your baby tonight.

Excited friend

Dear mom,

Still angry and upset. I didn't bring it up last night, but this really hurt and stung.

Love,

Daughter #1

Dear house,

Clean yourself, no love.

Too tired to clean

Swazzle · April 2014

Dear TX G2G Girls:

I MISS YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH. My abs are getting flabby again from the lack of laughter since yesterday afternoon.

**********

Dear NOLA G2G Girls:

Five months, 2 weeks, 3 days.

**********

Dear Grammar/Spelling Failures:

Proofreading is your friend. Kthx.

**********

Dear Coworkers:

F off.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

Dear work,

Days like today I'd rather be home getting other things done. I don't enjoy sitting at my desk doing nothing.

Love,

Your employee who still has an empty inbox

Dear H,

Thank you for offering and cleaning up the dishes the past two nights and letting me relax : ) You're such a good husband.

Love,

your wife

Dear warm weather,

I want you! I also want a tan! Let's make this happen!

phira · April 2014

Dear science,

WHY DO YOU HATE ME THIS MUCH

Dear PI,

Please don't come looking for me today. I will come find you tomorrow. I promise.

Dear body,

I really don't know why you've been gaining weight this spectacularly, but this shit's gonna stop right now.

GoldenPenguin · April 2014

Dear self,

PATIENCE PANTS. NO MORE QUESTIONS.

Damn, girl.

Me

*************

Dear self,

But I don't WANNA be patient!!

Stomp.

Me

************

Dear NEY,

Yes, these are the conversations that go on in my head.

Thank you for loving my crazy.

Me

************

Dear Duggars,

This "courting" thing is fucking creepy.

That's all. *shiver*

Bri

************

Dear job I applied for,

Please? Thank you.

Love,

I'd fucking rock, and you know it.

labro · April 2014

Dear USPS,

Yay! Thank you for getting my STD cards out so quickly to all of my local friends and family. Now if you would please get them out equally as quickly to our (majority!) out-of-town guests that'd be great. Also, please let FI get his passport application taken care of asap...because this "no available appointments until mid-May" is bogus.

kthxbai!

~~~

Dear Mom,

Please stop coming up with people to add to the guest list. Just because we have less family to invite than my sister did doesn't mean we need to fill those spaces with extra friends and/or JoeSchmo off the street. I'm happy with our numbers as they are plus I'm already inviting several of your friends that you stated you didn't really want to invite but apparently have to anyway...ugh.

Love, your oldest

~~~

Dear out of town guests,

Please go to our website because it has lots of cool information like hotel accomodations, and fun things to do in the area, and pictures!!!

Love you, even though I don't really know some of you well (yet!)

~~~

Dear wedding,

I wish you were here already. 6 more months is too lonnnggggggggggggg.

Love, the girl who just wants to be married already

~~~

Dear @Blue & White,

OMG THREE MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to see pictures!

Love, me

[Deleted User] · April 2014

@lmhollister- Even though we had 10000 family members to invite, mom still wanted to invite a bunch of JoeSchmos to the wedding. It was super irritating and I just started crying on the phone every time she mentioned another name because it was getting to the point where we didn't have enough chairs to fit into the venue lol.

labro · April 2014

@southernpeach89 AGGGHHHH! I am just going to start crying too. Sounds like it was effective.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

Dear Coworker - Please put on your big boy pants today and quit whining. Of course none of us like that management has given us a crazy short deadline to come up with an impossible plan to meet their outrageous demands...BUT that's our job. Let's just get it done.

Sincerely,

Your (trying to be positive and not take your attitude personally) coworker

_______________________________________________________________________

Dear H,

I'm so excited you're having a Friday off soon. I can't wait to plan a little getaway weekend just the two of us! It's going to be so nice to just get out of town and have some fun for a bit!

xoxo

Your ever-loving wife

_______________________________________________________________________

Dear Mom,

I can't believe I only have to wait 6 more days to see you! We are going to have so much fun while you're in town.

Hugs!

Your super excited daughter!

buddysmom80 · April 2014

Dear FI,

I'm sorry I've been a bitch for like the past few days, but I don't know what's wrong and I don't want to talk about it when I'm just in a shitty mood. I still love you though.

Grammy

--------------------------------

Dear @brisox81,

1) My patience pants are tight for you

2) I was thinking the SAME THING about the Duggars last night!

XOXOXOXOXO,

Me

---------------------------------------------

Dear MOH,

I'm glad we had our talk, but now that I've shut down the wedding talk with you, I don't want to hear about your BBT, cervical mucous and/or position. I know you're desperate to become a parent, but I don't want to hear "I hope I can baby dance on our vacation because it'll be the first time H and I slept in a bed together in two years." That shit creeps me out becuase your H is an asshole.

---------------------------------------------

Dear Wedding,

Why are you so far away, can't I get married like this weekend please????

Love,

an impatient bride

---------------------------------------------

Dear wedding photog,

Please, please, please make me look good next weekend. I'm so nervous.

Not at the weight I want to be,

Nervous bride

---------------------------------------------

Dear Buddy,

Sorry we gave you a bath the other day, but you literally smelled like shit.

Love,

Your fur mom

KeptInStitches · April 2014

Dear FI,

WAHOO!!!

Love,

Your FI

---

Dear Bri,

My patience pants are really super tight for you as well!

Stitches

---

Dear appraiser,

Please come back with a higher number than we agreed on for the house. I really don't want to go back to the table and renegotiate this shit. I want to be done with the process.

Cordially,

Future home owner

---

Dear experiment,

I'm going to have to stay late to make you work. You can do me the courtesy of working. Or I reprogram the reactor with increasingly violent methods.

No love,

Sick of school

---

Dear adviser,

Thanks for being cool with me taking the summer off from taking credits. Fees have gotten insane in the last few years, haven't they?

Student

---

Dear financial aid office,

About damn time I get my money back! Thanks for doing the manual release.

Sincerely,

Now I'm in better shape when something breaks the day we move into the house (as though we didn't have an emergency fund but dammit I hate tapping that)

Ollie08 · April 2014

Dear @BriSox81,

I have decided to burn all of the patience pants.

---------------------------------

Dear Work Day,

Please end quickly, I don't feel like being a responsible adult today. I'm looking forward to an evening of couch cuddling and just not doing work-work.

---------------------------------

Dear BF,

I fucking love you. Seriously. I'm super excited Mama Q is coming to town, but I guess that means we need to clean and whatnot. Let's save that for the last minute k?

---------------------------------

Dear Mama Q,

Please don't judge me for still not painting since your last visit in November. Also for making zero progress on all of the other pending home projects. We'll get to them… Eventually.

---------------------------------

Dear Photography Gods,

Please let everything go perfectly on Saturday. This is my first time shooting a wedding and I'm super excited, but the nightmares of forgetting stuff or breaking stuff do not help.

Blue & White · April 2014

@lmhollister

Don't you worry about the pictures. I was talking to my mom earlier about how a friend just got married and there were only like 3 pics on facebook and how lame it was (because I missed her wedding and wanted to see!) We decided that even if I asked my family to not post pics, they would still post about 300. Sooo, yea, there will be pics. My photographer also tends to be fairly speedy, so there will probably be oodles of pics at some point. I'm psyched

Dear travel gods,

Please keep everyone safe on the way to and from the wedding this weekend! We're going to have so much fun!

-Thanks!

Dear contact lenses,

Why in the heck are you MISSING?

-I probably should have looked for you earlier in the week

Dear self,

Whoohoo we're almost married!

-I guess I could address this to FI also...

Dear dress,

If you wrinkle in my car, I will slap you silly.

-I'm violent, apparently

Dear bridesmaids,

OMG I GET TO SEE YOU IN TWO DAYS!

-I might be more excited for this than the wedding (but probably not)

Blackbird230 · April 2014

Dear body,

Can we not be sick? I'm not digging this headache/upset stomach/aches that you've got going on that you caught from FI.

Sincerely,

No love

*****

Dear FI,

Yes I love you, even though you got me sick. You've been so good at taking care of me.

Love,

Your Kait

*****

Dear apartment hunt,

We're done I guess. It's going to be time for Plan B which is move in with FI and the FILs until we can figure out what town we can be in and at what price.

Sincerely,

so much stress

*****

Dear NEY ladies,

I love you all.

Kait

KeptInStitches · April 2014

@Ollie08,

I have access to a burning barrel for patience pants should one be required. We can make this shit literal!

loves2shop4shoes · April 2014

Dear Job,

Zero.

Zero is the number of fucks I give about you.

No love…nope, nope nope,

Girl who's putting in her notice next week

---

Dear Coworkers,

You know I give zero fucks. Let's not pretend that isn't the case.

Signed,

Stop asking me to do your work for you

---

Dear New Job,

I'm excited to start on 4/28! Please don't suck.

Signed,

Has no reason to believe you will suck but has had super bad luck

---

Dear Bossman,

Yeah, you keep side-eyeing me for leaving on time, and I'll continue to march out the door, on time.

Signed,

Girl who gives ZERO fucks

P.S. If you want work done, show up at the office before 5pm for once.

---

Dear DH,

This pelvic rest thing sucks. And I miss you. We've been running around like lunatics, and I just wanna snuggle…and un-pelvic rest.

Love,

Horny wife

---

Dear Money Tree,

Wanna produce some real money? Please and thank you.

Signed,

Wants to hit up the Sephora sale before it ends

KeptInStitches · April 2014

Good luck at your new job, @loves2shop4shoes!

Blue & White · April 2014

@lmhollister If @twodimes gets an STD, I do too!

-If I lived closer to Atlanta, crashing would be so easy.

labro · April 2014

@Blue & White You'll have an easier time crashing than @TwoDimes if she ends up staying in the Midwest. Orlando is practically right next door in comparison to driving from Iowa. I've done that drive...and it isn't fun...nope.

GoldenPenguin · April 2014

Dear @buddysmom80, @keptinstitches, @ollie08, & @twodimes,

Thank you for sharing in my patience pants hate. They're really really uncomfortable.

Love,

I'M TOO FAT FOR PATIENCE PANTS

************

Dear NEY,

I'm now GoldenPenguin. Cause I don't want my name anywhere in my stuff after yesterday. My avatar will now be an adorable baby penguin, but it's still me!

Love,

GP

************

Dear students,

We've had a very long, cold, ridiculous winter, I get it. But just because the sun is shining today doesn't mean you should be wearing shorts and tank tops. C'mon now.

Sincerely,

Me

ShallowSeas · April 2014

Dear self,
Please remind self why you chose to work in mental health?! These teens be crazy.

Confused,
Sev

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear FI,
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING ALLLLL THE LAUNDRY LAST NIGHT. And folding it and putting it all away. Like, you're kinda perfect, so there's that.

Love,
your FI

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear nephew,
Why are you so cute?! You seriously melt my heart. I love you more than anything and everything and I miss you. I know I only live an hour away, but it still sucks.

Love,
Aunt Sev

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear FI,
Me again. You have been talking non-stop about our 'future' babies the last couple of weeks....what are you trying to say...? You kinda have me excited.

Love,
Me

Ollie08 · April 2014

Dear @GoldenPenguin,

I thought someone stole your GIF signature and was an imposter. Now I have to remember who you are alllllll over again. And you know how patient I am…

Love,

You'll always be Bri to meeee

labro · April 2014

@GoldenPenguin Love the new avatar and name...even though I'll miss your old one. I want to change my user name too but I'm just not cool or creative enough to come up with something I'm super happy with.

Also, I've given up on wearing patience pants for you. They got too tight so now I'm patience pantsless. What do I do??

Blue & White · April 2014

@GoldenPenguin I noticed that earlier - now I just have to remember after we get back

Swazzle · April 2014

@goldenpenguin:

Moiramab · April 2014

Dearest BF,

Go go! I don't care if you can't talk to me for the rest of the month, I am just so syked you'll be done and defending your thesis before the end of April

Lovingly,
GF

````````

Rockin' Tattoo Artist -

Pleeeaasseee have a good design for me.

Impatiently,
That girl who emails you constantly for updates

````````

Rome,

I'm sorry I can't come see you this year bf is being a terrible saver, and I have to treasure my time off this year...

With tears,
Not traveling abroad

lmcooper86 · April 2014

Dear work emails,

Kindly answer yourselves because I truly do not care today.

Love, tired and needing a cookie

--------------------------

Dear BF,

You are away until Monday and that sucks. On the plus side I am going to clean my entire apartment and organize my closet and cook and drink wine. But still sad that you're away

Love, lmc

--------------------------

Dear BFF,

I know your BF is sick and you haven't found a job, but please remember that I'm on your side. I can't be supportive if you're snapping at me. Come drink wine with me this weekend.

Love, your BFF who actually does care about your problems

--------------------------

Dear BF again,

Stop dropping hints about rings and getting engaged. I know we're both cool with doing that sooner rather than later, but you're going to make me crazy. I do not want to become BSC and my patient pants fit fine right now.

Love, lmc again

Blue & White · April 2014

@lmcooper86 I legit have 5 batches of cookies in my car right now. So let's pretend I gave you a few from my stash

audrewuh · April 2014

@buddysmom80 and @goldenpenguin,

I courted a guy in high school. It wasn't as strict as the Duggars, but it was definitely courting disguised as dating. Supah intense, yo.

-----------------------

Dear TXGTG girls,

My home is so lonely without you here beside me! H called me this morning after he left for work and all I did was whine about how everyone was gone. The real world sucks, y'all.

Love, snuggles, and beer,

Aud

P.S. The NOLAGTG cannot happen soon enough.

-----------------------

Dear Mom Picking Up 4 Year Old At School,

Volleyball shorts belong on high school volleyball players. Not on you. Plus, it's not even hot enough out yet for that minimal amount of clothing.

Gross,

I saw your ass cheeks

----------------------

Dear @loves2shop4shoes,

I am so excited to hear all about the amazingness that is your new job!!

Hugs,

Aud

---------------------

Dear Job Universe,

Please, oh please, pretty pretty please give H one of the 1458659384 million jobs he's applied to. He so deserves employment. His internship is quickly coming to a close and I just cannot even anymore.

PLEASE?

Desperate wife

----------------------

Dearest H,

Our anniversary is Sunday. Wut. I cannot wait to gorge myself on delicious steak Tuesday night as we celebrate the fact that we haven't killed each other during the toughest year of our lives. Being married to you is cool. I want to do it more.

Love,

Your silly, crazy wife

buddysmom80 · April 2014

@audrewuh did you guys side-hug? Or have his parents supervise your dates? Now I'm curious.

CLoGreenEyes · April 2014

Dear @loves2shop4shoes,

I'm sending you all the vibes I've got for an amazing new job! It sounds absolutely fabulous and I hope it lives up to expectations! You've been through a lot with this last one, to say the least.

Love,

CLo

***

Dear @GoldenPenguin,

When I started reading your first OLWs today, I was like, "Uhhhh. Who is this newb? She sounds absolutely frickin' BSC." And then it got to the part about loving all of NEY and I was like, "Omigod, how long has this chick even been LURKING to love NEY and still be this nuts?" And then I saw the J-Law and realized my horrendous mistake.

Forgive and forget?

Love,

CLo, whose has also forsaken her patience pants in your honor (that sounds weird)

***

Dear clinical instructor,

You are the bomb for letting us out early today! I know you meant to give us extra study time for our first exam tomorrow, but for this girl, it means I actually get to participate in OLW before sundown!

Sorry not sorry,

Knot addict (but seriously, I promise that I will drag my ass to school and study it off)

***

Dear best frand,

Your bachelorette party is this weekend! It's going to be super-fun, I promise you!

Love,

Your bridesmaid

***

Dear weather,

YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU FOR FINALLY GETTING YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!

So much love it's not even possible,

CLo

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