Hair and Makeup - Offshoot from FFF Thread

Re: Hair and Makeup - Offshoot from FFF Thread

• delujm0 member

  

  April 2014

  I personally would love that.  I've never really gotten an awesome BM gift that i was excited to use again, so saving me the $150 or whatever of getting my hair/makeup done would be awesome.  However, a super individual and thoughtful BM gift would probably outweigh the hair and makeup.  I don't know since i've never gotten one.

   

  If you want that to be a part of the gift, I would still get them something small to open, and maybe inside of the package put a  "surprise! hair and make-up is on me!" note as well.  and definitely give them a well written card or thank you note as well.

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• sofakingmad member

  

  April 2014

  I think that I made it pretty clear how I feel about that in the thread.  And my feeling is that yes, I would love that.  Mostly if I already think that I'm paying for it and you surprise me the day of.  It's like a huge cost savings and you get to be pampered.

  
  

  However, I'm more of an "experience" gift type of person. I don't really like stuff, so I prefer experiences.  And getting pampered is one of my favorite things!

  
  

  I think it's a know your crowd type of thing.

  

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• Bubblegum5586 member

  

  April 2014

  I personally would love that option!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• IMathlete member

  

  April 2014

  So is it better to simply say, "surprise, I will be taking care of this" on the day-of, or to give them the option in advance?
  

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• Couggal12 member

  

  April 2014

  I would love that option as well.  I like doing my own makeup on a regular basis but am by no means a professional so when I can get my hair/makeup down professionally I jump at the chance. Not paying for it would be a nice choice for a wedding.  

  

  
  

  
  

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• sofakingmad member

  

  April 2014

  You know your girls.  If you want to give them the option, then do that.  I think my friend asked me what I wanted.  

  

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• IMathlete member

  

  April 2014

  You're right! I haven't posted much, though, and never a poll, so I didn't think about it.
  

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• cupcait927 member

  

  April 2014

  I would absolutely LOVE if I was a maid and the bride offered to pay for my hair and makeup. I honestly don't need more stuff laying around my house and it would be a nice financial weight off of my shoulders knowing that I wouldn't have to pay for that piece. Like @DragonBlood13 I'm also more about experiences and pampering is always nice.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  April 2014

  I'm pretty happy to have stumbled on this- I have never really cared either way the few times I've been a bridesmaid and I wasn't planning on having my ladies get their hair done but I figured if my stylist was available (she is) then I would ask if they wanted to get it done to make sure I booked her. I didn't think all 5 of them would want to (I thought maybe 3 would) but since they all do, I think I'll add that in to their gifts since general consensus seems to be that it's an awesome gesture. 

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• tammym1001 member

  

  April 2014

  I would let them know beforehand that you are planning on paying for it. That may sway some girls to have it done who maybe couldn't afford it on their own. I'm paying for my girls to have their hair and nails done day of (that's not their gift), but I made sure I let them know I was paying months ago when I made the appointments so nobody would be stressing about how to pay for it or say they didn't want it done because they were embarrassed to say they couldn't afford it.

  
  

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• IMathlete member

  

  April 2014

  Thanks for the input. However, only two of my girls have opted out. One of them IS a hair and makeup artist (she is doing my hair, only, I have hired someone for the girls' hair and my own makeup). The other is in theater and also albino, so she would have chosen to do her own even if I paid from the start. She regularly does her own hair and makeup and prefers that.
  

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• tammym1001 member

  

  April 2014

  I think I would still let the other girls know ahead of time. That's one less expense that they need to worry about for your wedding. You never know if any of them are stressing out about how they will pay for all this.

  
  

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• tcnoble member

  

  April 2014

  I'm happy someone posted and asked this. I have 6 BMs and they've all opted to have their hair done for the wedding (knowing the costs), so I think this could be a great way to eliminate a potentially useless BM gift.

  
  

  On the flip side - if you were a BM and on the day of the wedding received a personal thank you note that ended with "P.S. hair and makeup is on me! " would you silently be thinking "...is this my gift? is she getting me something else?" or would you just be pumped you're not spending an extra $100 or whatnot that day. For me personally, if I offer to pay for all their hair (and makeup if they chose it, which only some did), I couldn't afford other gifts. Is that an etiquette faux pas? What about the BMs who ONLY chose to have hair done, not makeup, so I would essentially be spending less on them? Ah this can get so sticky!

  
  

  Personally I don't expect gifts as a BM so I would just be thinking SCORE! Free pampering! I know there's the "know your crowd" feeling but still curious how others would view that...

  

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• thisismynickname2 member

  

  April 2014

  Another vote for "yay, free hair and makeup!"

  
  

  Here's an unpopular opinion for everyone.... I couldn't give two hoots about receiving gifts for being a bridesmaid. At all. The first time I was ever a maid was at age 12 for a cousin, and she gave me a necklace.  In my mind I was like, "What's this for?"

  When we were age 20 and broke, the bride paid for our dresses as the gift. 

  My sister gave me a gift of jewelry, which I wore for the wedding.

  A friend gave me gift of jewelry, which I still wear but unfortunately was cheap and is a bit tarnished now.

  Now, one of my bridesmaids said (when I asked her opinion on this whole thing), "Oh, jewelry's perfect."

  
  

  So.... I'm not going to over-think this. Apparently knowing my crowd means giving them all jewelry!

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  April 2014

  I would love this.  I can do make up well, but hair. . . not so much, no way.
  
  I was in a wedding last October and the Bride paid for our hair and make up, plus gave us gifts.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• pinkshorts27 member

  

  April 2014

  DragonBlood13 said:

  I think that I made it pretty clear how I feel about that in the thread.  And my feeling is that yes, I would love that.  Mostly if I already think that I'm paying for it and you surprise me the day of.  It's like a huge cost savings and you get to be pampered.

  
  

  However, I'm more of an "experience" gift type of person. I don't really like stuff, so I prefer experiences.  And getting pampered is one of my favorite things!

  
  

  I think it's a know your crowd type of thing.

  This, FI and I are experience gifters too. We tend to get each other tickets to shows, concerts, go to the zoo, or whatever theme park we are most interested at the moment. 

  
  

  

  
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  April 2014

  I would love this as well. I would also let them know beforehand. 

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• IMathlete member

  

  April 2014

  I'm still not sure I am going to pay instead of doing the gift, but your responses have made me feel better about the option. My sister, I know, would appreciate the gesture (though I will still give her the option). Another is tight on money and would probably opt to save the money, but the last is very touched by gifts. I'll see how the budget fares closer to the date. Hair and makeup is a bit higher than I would have spent on personal gifts.
  

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• MamaAlly89 member

  

  April 2014

  Im so happy you posted this! I was thinking about doing the same thing. My thought process was that if I was a bridesmaid I would much rather have to fork out less money (and get the extra pampering!) then get a lame tote with my initials monogrammed on it.

   

   

   

  

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• tcnoble member

  

  April 2014

  I have 3 sisters in my WP - parents will pay for their H&M - so do I pay for the other BMs H&M and privately give the sisters more personal gifts???

  
  

  I hate that this is a hard decision for me lol

  

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• blabla89 member

  

  April 2014

  It's definitely a better gift than matching jewelry, robes, wire hangers or monogrammed tchotchkes. Even following the idea that BM gifts should be individualized (like something you would give them for their birthday), I would probably still prefer this over a physical gift.

  

  
  
  

  
  

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• sassyfrass2014 member

  

  April 2014

  I LOVE this idea (and may steal it). 

  
  

  

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• daria24 member

  

  April 2014

  thisismynickname said:

  Another vote for "yay, free hair and makeup!"

  
  

  Here's an unpopular opinion for everyone.... I couldn't give two hoots about receiving gifts for being a bridesmaid. At all. The first time I was ever a maid was at age 12 for a cousin, and she gave me a necklace.  In my mind I was like, "What's this for?"

  When we were age 20 and broke, the bride paid for our dresses as the gift. 

  My sister gave me a gift of jewelry, which I wore for the wedding.

  A friend gave me gift of jewelry, which I still wear but unfortunately was cheap and is a bit tarnished now.

  Now, one of my bridesmaids said (when I asked her opinion on this whole thing), "Oh, jewelry's perfect."

  
  

  So.... I'm not going to over-think this. Apparently knowing my crowd means giving them all jewelry!

  
  

  This is how I feel. I'd rather receive a heartfelt note, and have the bride take me out to brunch or for burgers or something than a bag of candles, lotion, etc. I always opt to have my hair and makeup done, so I would be happy to receive that as a gift. As long as the bride wasn't requiring some matchy matchy updo crap. 

  

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• doeydo member

  

  April 2014

  I wouldn't consider it a gift if you offered to pay for my hair and makeup.  If I was supposed to pay for it, I would just do it myself.  

  
  

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• tigersgirlgv member

  

  April 2014

  I agree that I would let the girls know about it beforehand and give them all the option. I'm in a wedding this spring and opted not to get my hair done professionally because of the cost. If the bride offered to pay for it as my gift, I definitely would say yes. I would feel sort of bummed if she paid for the other girls (who originally said yes to getting their hair done) and I got some other gift, when I would have preferred her paying for my hair.

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• bunni727 member

  

  April 2014

  As long as you give them the option, that's fine.
  
  I prefer to do my own, so I would opt out, but still think it is nice for the others.
  

  

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• blabla89 member

  

  April 2014

  doeydo said:

  I wouldn't consider it a gift if you offered to pay for my hair and makeup.  If I was supposed to pay for it, I would just do it myself.  

  Same here, I wouldn't choose to pay for it. But if the bride offered, I would consider it a very nice gesture. As a BM I wouldn't expect a gift at all.
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

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• larrygaga member

  

  April 2014

  I wish there was a wedding that I've been in where they pay for that. Gifts are very nice and thoughtful, but it's probably easier on everyone involved to do something practical. You could also offer a massage or something.

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• thesummersky member

  

  April 2014

  doeydo said:

  I wouldn't consider it a gift if you offered to pay for my hair and makeup.  If I was supposed to pay for it, I would just do it myself.  

  Ditto. 

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• grumbledore member

  

  April 2014

  IMathlete said:

  Many people in the FFF thread mentioned that they would have loved for the bride to offer to pay for their hair and makeup in lieu of a gift, in cases where they OPTED to have their hair and makeup done (it was not mandatory). Given those opinions...
  
  I privately asked each of my BMs is they would like to have hair and makeup done, entirely optional, and gave them estimated costs months ago. Is it a complete etiquette breach to offer to pay for them as their gift? I am not saying I would come right out and say, "Hey, I am paying for your hair and makeup. Hope you like the gift" but instead pose the offer.
  
  My MOH, my sister, in particular, has expressly, and on several occasions asked me NOT to give her a gift. I obviously still intend to, but I know in this case she'd probably rather have the money (by way of eliminating a debt) than a physical gift. All BMs would still get a thank you card, and any who opt out, or are not having H+M done would still get a gift.
  
  I am NOT saying I am stuck on this idea. Just curious about how/if it can be done this way.
  

  I think it's fine to offer it as a gift if you are not requiring that they get it done.  Most BM gifts aren't great anyway, I'd rather get my hair/makeup/nails done.

  
  

  

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