Many people in the FFF thread mentioned that they would have loved for the bride to offer to pay for their hair and makeup in lieu of a gift, in cases where they OPTED to have their hair and makeup done (it was not mandatory). Given those opinions...
I privately asked each of my BMs is they would like to have hair and makeup done, entirely optional, and gave them estimated costs months ago. Is it a complete etiquette breach to offer to pay for them as their gift? I am not saying I would come right out and say, "Hey, I am paying for your hair and makeup. Hope you like the gift" but instead pose the offer.
My MOH, my sister, in particular, has expressly, and on several occasions asked me NOT to give her a gift. I obviously still intend to, but I know in this case she'd probably rather have the money (by way of eliminating a debt) than a physical gift. All BMs would still get a thank you card, and any who opt out, or are not having H+M done would still get a gift.
I am NOT saying I am stuck on this idea. Just curious about how/if it can be done this way.