I am the MOH for my sister's upcoming wedding. I am having my own wedding a year after her. I gave her gifts for her engagement party and shower and have already purchased gifts/wrote a check for her bachelorette party/wedding. I also just hosted her shower with my mom and am hosting her bachelorette party in 3 weeks. I have never received a thank you note or spoken "thank you" from her and am very peeved. She feels that it is just expected of me as her MOH to give her all these things. I am very frustrated as all of her bridesmaids have done nothing, as they are technically not expected to. But she has thanked all of them for their "help" on facebook and wrote each of them a personal thank you card. For my engagement party i wrote her and her fiancé a hand written note and thanked them for their help. Should i really expect a formal thank-you as the MOH?
Secondly, I am hosting her bachelorette party in 3 weeks and have paid for all expenses thus far. I sent out formal invitations 2 months prior and received RSVP's from all the girls that were invited. They all said yes so i went ahead and purchased customized favors, secured the hotels rooms and dinner reservations. Now 2 of these girls tell me that they can no longer make it. I feel that it is rude to RSVP "yes" to a formal invitation and then say you can't make it closer to the event. I am spending extra money that I did not need to and am worried that the day of the party more people will back out and then I will be responsible for covering the cost of the hotel rooms. I just sent the girls another message saying I need to know by end of the week of any changes to your availability for the party as the cost of the rooms has now increased due to 2 back-outs. What else can I do in the situation so that I won't be stuck with lost money and time?