How to word invites when hosts are not parents, but parents are paying?

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

My parents are paying for the wedding. FI's boss and his wife are hosting the wedding/reception in their home. Who is the invite from? Having trouble with this wording . . grrr.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

Mr. and Mrs. Joe Bossman

request the pleasure of your company

at the wedding of

Ms. Ivgirl1000

and

Mr. Ivgirl1000

Now the million dollar question, what are your parents feelings on not being on the invite. Since they aren't hosting they shouldn't be on the invite, but if there will be hurt feelings then it would be worth it to do something like

Together with their family and friends...

ETA: That is assuming that the boss and his wife share a last name. If not it would Ms. Jackie Smith and Mr. Joe Bossman

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

Okay, so something like:

Mr. and Mrs. Bride's parent cordially invite you

yada yada yada

at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Bossman

doesn't work?

I do kinda feel like my mom might be hurt by not being named & everyone on my side are going to be: "WTF? who is M/Mrs. Bossman?

Maggie0829 · April 2014

No, because you are basically saying that your parents are hosting with that wording.

Honestly, I think you should go with

Together with their family and friends

Ms. Ivgirl Lastname

and

Mr. Ivgirl's FI Lastname

request the pleasure of your company at their wedding

I think with that wording you prevent hurt feelings between your parents who are paying and your friends who are hosting.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

Thanks.

Also, do you know what is customary for where guests should send gifts prior to wedding? Will they ask or should I expect them to send to host, parents, dark side of the moon?

Maggie0829 · April 2014

Thanks.

Also, do you know what is customary for where guests should send gifts prior to wedding? Will they ask or should I expect them to send to host, parents, dark side of the moon?

Do you have a registry (registries)? If so, then where those gifts should be delivered is your choice since there is a place to note where gifts should be delivered on the websites. But if it were me I would just have them sent to your home. Easier to keep track of and to stay on top of thank you cards as they come in.

And just FYI, registries should not be included in your invite. If people want to know where you are registered they will ask or do a search online. Didn't know if you were planning on that or not but figured it wouldn't hurt to point it out.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

Thanks. Yes, I know not to put registry info on invites. We plan on asking invitees to RSVP on Google voice or our website where they can get registry info. Thanks again for the help!

CMGragain · April 2014

Are your employers actually hosting, or are they simply offering the use of their home for your wedding?

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride's First Middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
Day, date
time o'clock
The Boss Last Name Residence
Address
City State

Reception to follow

I would call Mrs. Boss and ask her opinion about your wording. Of course, no matter what wording you use, you publicly thank Mr. and Mrs. Boss for the use of their home! A toast would be appropriate.

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
Mr. and Mrs. George Boss
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name (etc.)

Jen4948 · April 2014

lvgirl1000 said:

My parents are paying for the wedding. FI's boss and his wife are hosting the wedding/reception in their home. Who is the invite from? Having trouble with this wording . . grrr.

Who's paying is not relevant to the wording. "Paying" does not equal "hosting."

Who is issuing the invitations, receiving the responses, greeting the guests, and seeing to their needs? Whoever is doing these things is the "host" and should be listed as such.

It is not an "honor" to be listed on a wedding invitation, because the purpose of an invitation is not to "honor" anyone other than the guest, map out the family tree, or reflect the financial arrangements of the wedding (which are none of the guests' business).

CMGragain · April 2014

I agree with Jen4948. Paying for a wedding, or a part of a wedding, does not automatically make you a host. Owning the property where the wedding is taking place does not necessarily make you a host, either.
How about it, OP. Who is really hosting your wedding?

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

Okay, so then I'm not sure who gets the "host" label. Our wedding is (mostly) Japanese traditional.

Wedding is @ M/M Bossman's home. They are also paying for the booze as their gift.

My parents paying.

FI is sending invites & receiving responses.

My son is standing with FI but other than that no wedding party.

We are hiring staff for ushers & such.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

lvgirl1000 said:

Okay, so then I'm not sure who gets the "host" label. Our wedding is (mostly) Japanese traditional.

Wedding is @ M/M Bossman's home. They are also paying for the booze as their gift.
My parents paying.
FI is sending invites & receiving responses.
My son is standing with FI but other than that no wedding party.
We are hiring staff for ushers & such.

@lvgirl1000 - I really think you are best to just use "Together with their family and friends"

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

Maggie0829 said:

lvgirl1000 said:

Okay, so then I'm not sure who gets the "host" label. Our wedding is (mostly) Japanese traditional.

Wedding is @ M/M Bossman's home. They are also paying for the booze as their gift.
My parents paying.
FI is sending invites & receiving responses.
My son is standing with FI but other than that no wedding party.
We are hiring staff for ushers & such.

@lvgirl1000 - I really think you are best to just use "Together with their family and friends"

Thanks.

Jen4948 · April 2014

lvgirl1000 said:

Okay, so then I'm not sure who gets the "host" label. Our wedding is (mostly) Japanese traditional.

Wedding is @ M/M Bossman's home. They are also paying for the booze as their gift.
My parents paying.
FI is sending invites & receiving responses.
My son is standing with FI but other than that no wedding party.
We are hiring staff for ushers & such.

I agree that it sounds like "Together with their families and friends" is probably your best course

But once again, who's paying isn't relevant to the wording. Your invitation is not a playbill listing who pays for what, and the financial arrangements are nobody's business except the couple and the people who are paying.

Nor is it relevant who is in the wedding party. That doesn't go on an invitation anyway.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

CMGragain said:

Are your employers actually hosting, or are they simply offering the use of their home for your wedding?

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride's First Middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
Day, date
time o'clock
The Boss Last Name Residence
Address
City State

Reception to follow

I would call Mrs. Boss and ask her opinion about your wording. Of course, no matter what wording you use, you publicly thank Mr. and Mrs. Boss for the use of their home! A toast would be appropriate.

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
Mr. and Mrs. George Boss
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name (etc.)

Thanks

How to word invites when hosts are not parents, but parents are paying?

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