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Intimate Destination Wedding, with reception back home - honeymoon fund etiquette

Re: Intimate Destination Wedding, with reception back home - honeymoon fund etiquette

  • Not only is it a "no no" to request honeymoon gifts, it's also rude to request gifts at what is actually a celebration of a marriage (not a reception). Actually, it's rude to request gifts at all, ever. If people want to get you something, they will, and if they don't know what you want, they'll ask.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2014
    Please don't have an AHR that includes a bridal party, reciting vows again, spotlight dances, etc.  If you are already married, I don't want to sit through any of that crap.  I just want to eat and drink and socialize and tell you congrats.

    And please, for the love of God, please do not ask for any sort of gifts or money, and do not set up a honeyfund of any sorts.  You want to go on a honeymoon, you pay for all those excursions on your own.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    rajahmdKatWAGdoeydocountrygirl061513
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You don't request gifts. Ever. For anything. Ever.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    We are all being punked.

    Let's hope so. If not, I fear for humanity.

  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    FFS...

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    grumbledore
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hello All, So my fiance and I are planning to get married on Sept in the virgin islands. The only people attending are our parents only because we wanted to keep it a very intimate ceremony. However, the following weekend we are planning on having a dinner party reception with 200 guests. We do not want gifts but rather our family and friends gifting us with excursions and dinners or even a drink when we arrive! Nothing at all overpriced! We just have a furnished home already and we dont want "towels" or an "espresso maker" as gifts. I keep finding all of these blogs saying that sending the honeymoon fund gift request is a huge "no-no" however we are having a destination wedding. Not a normal invitational wedding My question is, I plan on sending out the announcements of our marriage with a separate card of a reception party invite. How do we attached a separate card request gifts of a dinner or an excursion? I greatly appreciate the help!!!
    So you say you dont want gifts? But you want to include an insert asking for gifts? I am confused.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Hello All, So my fiance and I are planning to get married on Sept in the virgin islands. The only people attending are our parents only because we wanted to keep it a very intimate ceremony. However, the following weekend we are planning on having a dinner party reception with 200 guests. We do not want gifts but rather our family and friends gifting us with excursions and dinners or even a drink when we arrive! Nothing at all overpriced! We just have a furnished home already and we dont want "towels" or an "espresso maker" as gifts. I keep finding all of these blogs saying that sending the honeymoon fund gift request is a huge "no-no" however we are having a destination wedding. Not a normal invitational wedding My question is, I plan on sending out the announcements of our marriage with a separate card of a reception party invite. How do we attached a separate card request gifts of a dinner or an excursion? I greatly appreciate the help!!!
    So you say you dont want gifts? But you want to include an insert asking for gifts? I am confused.
    She only wants gifts that help fund her honeymoon. None of those silly household items.

    sarawifenow
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hello All, So my fiance and I are planning to get married on Sept in the virgin islands. The only people attending are our parents only because we wanted to keep it a very intimate ceremony. However, the following weekend we are planning on having a dinner party reception with 200 guests. We do not want gifts but rather our family and friends gifting us with excursions and dinners or even a drink when we arrive! Nothing at all overpriced! We just have a furnished home already and we dont want "towels" or an "espresso maker" as gifts. I keep finding all of these blogs saying that sending the honeymoon fund gift request is a huge "no-no" however we are having a destination wedding. Not a normal invitational wedding My question is, I plan on sending out the announcements of our marriage with a separate card of a reception party invite. How do we attached a separate card request gifts of a dinner or an excursion? I greatly appreciate the help!!!
    So you say you dont want gifts? But you want to include an insert asking for gifts? I am confused.
    She only wants gifts that help fund her honeymoon. None of those silly household items.

    I get that. But isnt paying $100 for a $90 voucher still a gift?
    BabyFruit Ticker
    grumbledore
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Hello All, So my fiance and I are planning to get married on Sept in the virgin islands. The only people attending are our parents only because we wanted to keep it a very intimate ceremony. However, the following weekend we are planning on having a dinner party reception with 200 guests. We do not want gifts but rather our family and friends gifting us with excursions and dinners or even a drink when we arrive! Nothing at all overpriced! We just have a furnished home already and we dont want "towels" or an "espresso maker" as gifts. I keep finding all of these blogs saying that sending the honeymoon fund gift request is a huge "no-no" however we are having a destination wedding. Not a normal invitational wedding My question is, I plan on sending out the announcements of our marriage with a separate card of a reception party invite. How do we attached a separate card request gifts of a dinner or an excursion? I greatly appreciate the help!!!
    So you say you dont want gifts? But you want to include an insert asking for gifts? I am confused.
    She only wants gifts that help fund her honeymoon. None of those silly household items.

    I get that. But isnt paying $100 for a $90 voucher still a gift?
    Yeah. She is just being picky about what gifts are and are not acceptable. And apparently getting money for her HM minus a fee is the acceptable gift.

  • 1.  You have chosen to have a private destination wedding ceremony.  Since there will be no guests, there will be no reception.  You gave that up when you made your plans.
    2.  A party at a later date is not a wedding reception.  No wedding dress, no wedding party, no gifts.
    3.  You should not register at all.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    doeydoHisGirlFriday13
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Sorry, we can't help you.  It's not your guests' job to fund your honeymoon.  Did you know that those "honeyfund" sponsors take a cut of the "donations" and you only get a portion of them?

    You can have a party later, but it won't be a "wedding reception."  Therefore, you need to forgo traditional wedding trappings, such as attendants, gifts, "first" dances, etc.  And many Knot members would also include a big white bridal gown in that category, because you won't be a "bride" anymore.
  • You don't do any of this. If people ask you where you are registered, tell them you are not and your preferred gift is getting to celebrate with them. Some will likely give a gift anyway , and then you'll write a thank you note. It's not hard.
  • i really, really think this person is trolling.  she cannot be serious.
  • In addition to all the above... why do you "need" another honeymoon anyway when you're just getting home from the Virgin Islands?? 

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    Maggie0829SKPM
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I call troll. MUD. Something to rile the masses.
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  • Hello All, So my fiance and I are planning to get married on Sept in the virgin islands. The only people attending are our parents only because we wanted to keep it a very intimate ceremony. However, the following weekend we are planning on having a dinner party reception with 200 guests. We do not want gifts but rather our family and friends gifting us with excursions and dinners or even a drink when we arrive! Nothing at all overpriced! We just have a furnished home already and we dont want "towels" or an "espresso maker" as gifts. I keep finding all of these blogs saying that sending the honeymoon fund gift request is a huge "no-no" however we are having a destination wedding. Not a normal invitational wedding My question is, I plan on sending out the announcements of our marriage with a separate card of a reception party invite. How do we attached a separate card request gifts of a dinner or an excursion? I greatly appreciate the help!!!
    image

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    rajahmd
  • In addition to all the above... why do you "need" another honeymoon anyway when you're just getting home from the Virgin Islands?? 
    I think her DW is also her honeymoon, and she wants people to pay for things like dinners and excursions while she is in the Virgin Islands.
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited April 2014
    In addition to all the above... why do you "need" another honeymoon anyway when you're just getting home from the Virgin Islands?? 
    I think her DW is also her honeymoon, and she wants people to pay for things like dinners and excursions while she is in the Virgin Islands.
    But she said they will have already gotten back from the Virgin Islands when they have this party... unless she's asking people to buy/send her the gift/money before they even leave for the wedding, a week+ in advance of the reception. Or the money will pay for a time machine. That makes just about as much sense as asking people to fund your honeymoon in the first place.

    ETF a missing word.

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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In addition to all the above... why do you "need" another honeymoon anyway when you're just getting home from the Virgin Islands?? 
    I think her DW is also her honeymoon, and she wants people to pay for things like dinners and excursions while she is in the Virgin Islands.
    But she said they will have already gotten back from the Virgin Islands when they have this party... unless she's asking people to buy/send her the gift/money before they even leave for the wedding, a week+ in advance of the reception. Or the money will pay for a time machine. That makes just about as much sense as asking people to fund your honeymoon in the first place.

    ETF a missing word.
    My guess is that she's planning on announcing her marriage before she actually gets married, with details about where and when she plans to do it, and she wants to include the Gimme card with these pre-wedding cards so that people buy them honeymoon-related presents before either the actual wedding or the post-wedding party.

    But I could be wrong.  I have only a passing familiarity with Crazy - I don't speak fluently and I'm more used to translating dead philosophers than live fruitcakes.



    theartistformerlyknownascountrygirl061513HisGirlFriday13
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    And look, a DD! Time for some puppies!

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    ~*~*~*~*~

    theartistformerlyknownas[Deleted User]
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    UGH. There are no words.

    Why do people insist on having private weddings and then invite the world to a party afterwards? It totally defeats the purpose of keeping things simple and intimate. Plus, it in no way saves money, unless you are the OP who hopes she makes her money back by demanding donations. SMH

     







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