All I could was smile and nod...just smile and nod...

CheleLyn · April 2014

Two things this past weekend that made me wonder what the sam hell people are thinking.

1. FB acquaintance that was engaged to be married the same day as us, then not engaged, and is engaged again. I'm going to paraphrase the FB post announcement that the wedding is back on for the same date: We can't invite everyone and want to keep it intimate with close family and friends...and gladly still take gifts. (That was from the girl)

2. Met with a couple whose ceremony I'm officiating later this year. Basically, little slips of paper with the guests' name will be handed out to those who rsvp. Those slips with the name will be turned in at the start end of the buffet. No rsvp, no slip of paper, no eating. You can still attend the event, but won't be allowed to eat! I was seriously struck dumb although I know there is nothing I could have said to change their mind so I just smiled, bit my tongue, and nodded....then changed the subject! I wonder how that would or could even work? I'll be staying for the show

lyndausvi · April 2014

How does the 2nd story even work? When do you get said slips of paper?

CheleLyn · April 2014

I don't even know! I'm sure it may have been mentioned, but I was so surprised by the very idea of it, that I'm sure I missed part of the conversation.

JCbride2015 · April 2014

CheleLyn said:

Two things this past weekend that made me wonder what the sam hell people are thinking.

1. FB acquaintance that was engaged to be married the same day as us, then not engaged, and is engaged again. I'm going to paraphrase the FB post announcement that the wedding is back on for the same date: We can't invite everyone and want to keep it intimate with close family and friends...and gladly still take gifts. (That was from the girl)

2. Met with a couple whose ceremony I'm officiating later this year. Basically, little slips of paper with the guests' name will be handed out to those who rsvp. Those slips with the name will be turned in at the start end of the buffet. No rsvp, no slip of paper, no eating. You can still attend the event, but won't be allowed to eat! I was seriously struck dumb although I know there is nothing I could have said to change their mind so I just smiled, bit my tongue, and nodded....then changed the subject! I wonder how that would or could even work? I'll be staying for the show

I think this just came close to, or maybe topped, @SaraBrideSoon's BSC FB friend. Did she post her registry and a list of the people invited and not invited?

Simply Fated · April 2014

I would totally be the one who is completely paranoid she'll lose the paper or forget it at home. I'll obsess over it, keep checking in my purse for it... leave post its all over my house reminding me to take it, that sort of thing. Then, I'll lose the paper seconds before dinner starts.
Don't even ask how crazy I was the days leading up the Hunger Games movie premiere. Those tickets didn't leave my hand for a second.

beharrington · April 2014

CheleLyn said:

Two things this past weekend that made me wonder what the sam hell people are thinking.

2. Met with a couple whose ceremony I'm officiating later this year. Basically, little slips of paper with the guests' name will be handed out to those who rsvp. Those slips with the name will be turned in at the start end of the buffet. No rsvp, no slip of paper, no eating. You can still attend the event, but won't be allowed to eat! I was seriously struck dumb although I know there is nothing I could have said to change their mind so I just smiled, bit my tongue, and nodded....then changed the subject! I wonder how that would or could even work? I'll be staying for the show

Is there any chance they are doing this because they know that uninvited people plan on crashing? We tried to do this using escort cards - no escort card, no getting into the ballroom. (Didn't work, but it was a valiant effort and the only thing I could think of to head off the gazillions of people MIL sent copied invitations to.)

312Emily · April 2014

beharrington said:

CheleLyn said:

Two things this past weekend that made me wonder what the sam hell people are thinking.

2. Met with a couple whose ceremony I'm officiating later this year. Basically, little slips of paper with the guests' name will be handed out to those who rsvp. Those slips with the name will be turned in at the start end of the buffet. No rsvp, no slip of paper, no eating. You can still attend the event, but won't be allowed to eat! I was seriously struck dumb although I know there is nothing I could have said to change their mind so I just smiled, bit my tongue, and nodded....then changed the subject! I wonder how that would or could even work? I'll be staying for the show

Is there any chance they are doing this because they know that uninvited people plan on crashing? We tried to do this using escort cards - no escort card, no getting into the ballroom. (Didn't work, but it was a valiant effort and the only thing I could think of to head off the gazillions of people MIL sent copied invitations to.)

Story time?

sarawifenow · April 2014

Maybe these people and my BSC bride person should get together!

RebeccaB88 · April 2014

SaraBrideSoon said:

Maybe these people and my BSC bride person should get together!

I didn't think you were willing to claim BSC Bride Person as a friend.

sarawifenow · April 2014

RebeccaB88 said:

SaraBrideSoon said:

Maybe these people and my BSC bride person should get together!

I didn't think you were willing to claim BSC Bride Person as a friend.

Haha hence the reason I refused to add "friend" to my sentence!

beharrington · April 2014

312Emily said:

Is there any chance they are doing this because they know that uninvited people plan on crashing? We tried to do this using escort cards - no escort card, no getting into the ballroom. (Didn't work, but it was a valiant effort and the only thing I could think of to head off the gazillions of people MIL sent copied invitations to.)
Story time?

Those who've been around have heard it.

My MIL, even though not contributing a dime, decided we had not invited enough of her people to our wedding. We allowed her to have 50 guests on my parents' dime. It's not our fault that her family took up the majority of that 50. She photocopied BIL's invite and handed it out to people.

I knew this was going to happen (even though no one believed me) so I paid the DOC extra to hire a few people to stand near the ballroom entrance and under the guise of directing people to their tables, they checked to make sure everyone coming in had an escort card (which were located in the cocktail area).

At the reception, MIL opened up a side door to allow her guests to enter and bypass the people checking escort cards. Her uninvited guests then proceeded to steal the chairs of invited guests while they went through the buffet. They also all used the photo booth (keeping it so occupied that my own mother kept getting pushed aside and never got to use it) so I have tons of pictures of all of these uninvited guests. At one point when my father realized what was going on, he asked her if she had any more uninvited guests on their way and she said yes but not to worry. She promised my dad she'd send him money for them (that never showed up).

On Sunday, it will be one year since the wedding and we still have not spoken to her. Dad has not seen any of the promised money but won't bring it up because he loves DH and doesn't want to embarrass him further.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

CheleLyn said:

Two things this past weekend that made me wonder what the sam hell people are thinking.

1. FB acquaintance that was engaged to be married the same day as us, then not engaged, and is engaged again. I'm going to paraphrase the FB post announcement that the wedding is back on for the same date: We can't invite everyone and want to keep it intimate with close family and friends...and gladly still take gifts. (That was from the girl)

2. Met with a couple whose ceremony I'm officiating later this year. Basically, little slips of paper with the guests' name will be handed out to those who rsvp. Those slips with the name will be turned in at the start end of the buffet. No rsvp, no slip of paper, no eating. You can still attend the event, but won't be allowed to eat! I was seriously struck dumb although I know there is nothing I could have said to change their mind so I just smiled, bit my tongue, and nodded....then changed the subject! I wonder how that would or could even work? I'll be staying for the show

Vere are your papers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7leq8DldrdY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEkhs6n37RI

KeptInStitches · April 2014

@PrettyGirlLost, love for Indiana Jones.

fourtsixand2 · April 2014

That second scenario .... WOW. Okay, what if you, in fact, RSVP'd but somehow or another it didn't make it in the mail. Or, what if your 'slip' was mistaken for someone else?

Yes, not RSVP'ing to a wedding/reception is very, very rude but it's life. It happens. Refusing a meal to people who are present is beyond rude.

SP29 · April 2014

In the first case- I just don't understand why people are so open with information on FB! Don't people learn the "rule" that it's rude to talk about an event in front of someone who is not invited!?!? Obviously not. This person should send out invitations to whom she plans to invite- no explanation needed. If something comes up with someone, handle it privately with that specific person.

Well, in the second case, I can understand where she is coming from. I think a B&G should make reasonable effort to contact people who have not RSVP'd, but if that is the case, and there is no response, I will assume a "NO" for those people.

Particularly when venues need head counts, it is perfectly reasonable that there will be no food for someone who shows up without RSVPing yes, and unlike @fourtsixand2, I do not think this is rude. It is on the guest if they show up without having RSVP'd.

However, giving out slips of paper is kind of odd. What if someone forgets their paper? Loses it? Seems to me it would make more sense to have escort/place cards for guests at the reception.

@beharrington- in your case I don't think you could've done anything to stop the crazy train that is your MIL! I would have been furious though, and probably asked the people you hired to check escort cards to escort the uninvited guests out.

312Emily · April 2014

beharrington said:

312Emily said:

Is there any chance they are doing this because they know that uninvited people plan on crashing? We tried to do this using escort cards - no escort card, no getting into the ballroom. (Didn't work, but it was a valiant effort and the only thing I could think of to head off the gazillions of people MIL sent copied invitations to.)
Story time?

Those who've been around have heard it.

My MIL, even though not contributing a dime, decided we had not invited enough of her people to our wedding. We allowed her to have 50 guests on my parents' dime. It's not our fault that her family took up the majority of that 50. She photocopied BIL's invite and handed it out to people.

I knew this was going to happen (even though no one believed me) so I paid the DOC extra to hire a few people to stand near the ballroom entrance and under the guise of directing people to their tables, they checked to make sure everyone coming in had an escort card (which were located in the cocktail area).

At the reception, MIL opened up a side door to allow her guests to enter and bypass the people checking escort cards. Her uninvited guests then proceeded to steal the chairs of invited guests while they went through the buffet. They also all used the photo booth (keeping it so occupied that my own mother kept getting pushed aside and never got to use it) so I have tons of pictures of all of these uninvited guests. At one point when my father realized what was going on, he asked her if she had any more uninvited guests on their way and she said yes but not to worry. She promised my dad she'd send him money for them (that never showed up).

On Sunday, it will be one year since the wedding and we still have not spoken to her. Dad has not seen any of the promised money but won't bring it up because he loves DH and doesn't want to embarrass him further.

Holy crap. Happy anniversary. Also, I'm so angry for you. Ugh.

All I could was smile and nod...just smile and nod...

Re: All I could was smile and nod...just smile and nod...

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