Not sure what to do about # of BMs vs GMs

Re: Not sure what to do about # of BMs vs GMs

• Simky906 member

  

  April 2014

  May I ask why your FI would feel lousy about a difference in WP numbers? People frequently have different number and that's okay; it's not a reflection on the people getting married. Especially if it's a DW; sometimes people can't swing the travel expenses. At this point, since you've already asked your ladies, there isn't much you can do. But if FI is really uncomfortable, you could choose to have your WP sit in the front row instead of standing through the ceremony. Maybe then your FI wouldn't be as worried?

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• Couggal12 member

  

  April 2014

  You don't need even numbers for your WP so If you end up having 6 (if all the girls you asked can make it that is) and he has 1, then that's what it is. What matters is you ask the people who you want to be standing beside you during your wedding. I guess I'm not sure what advice you're looking for? And why would he feel lousy? It's not a competition...it's about having people beside you who matter. He shouldn't ask people just for the sake of asking.

  

  
  

  
  

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• HH2Be member

  

  April 2014

  I will say, my FI was a little hung up on having an even # also. I had asked 4 girls, and 3 said yes immediately, then the 4th said yes a while later. FI held off asking his GM because he wanted to know if he needed to ask 3 or 4. I told him it didn't matter if he had 4 & I had 3. We were having those who mattered most stand with us that day. He's finally gotten around to asking, and I know he asked 3 of the 4 guys so far and they have said yes. I agree with @Couggal12, it is about having people beside you who matter most, not about having even numbers.

  
  

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  April 2014

  You don't need even numbers. Invite the people you couldn't imagine not having by your side, and then stop. Those are your people. If anyone found out they were only added (or removed!) to make even sides, they'd be unbelievably hurt. They are not props!

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• Kieralynn member

  

  April 2014 edited April 2014

  We don't have many close friends, 2 of my girls are my cousins and one is my niece. I like the idea of having the attendants sit in the front row rather than stand beside me. I think it is b/c if none of his friends he really wanted to stand with him are able and they really haven't been around for the last few years. I guess me having a bunch of people stand with me and him not is a painful reminder & will make him feel very alone. 

  
  

  IDK what advice I was expecting I just really don't want him to feel depressed on our wedding day and I KNOW some of my less tactful family might say something about there being a significant difference.
  

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  April 2014

  Then you can just remind them that there is no reason parties need to be even and the fact that they are not means absolutely nothing. You won't be the first wedding to have this happen!

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Couggal12 member

  

  April 2014 edited April 2014

  FWIW I'm having uneven sides. I have 4 girls and FI has 3 guys on his side. Yes it's not a huge difference but, we asked the people we want to have in our wedding. And if your family says something then that is on them for being rude. Just let them know you asked the people YOU want to be in your WP and that's all that matters.

  

  
  

  
  

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