Weddings on Holiday Weekends

klove162 · April 2014

My FI and I had originally picked Labor Day weekend for our wedding date. The majority of our guests will be coming from out of town so we thought the idea of a weekend with a travel day buffer would be a good idea for people. We are nearly to the point of signing vendor contracts when we've begun to hear rumblings (from one person) about how we are asking people to give up their regularly scheduled Labor Day plans. From my point of view their Labor Day plans aren't over, they mostly revolve around the majority of my FI's family getting together. In my eyes they will still be together and it will still be a party, just relocated. I've been to their Labor Day festivities and I think they'll just as much fun in the Dells. I could be over simplifying it in my mind and I don't want to make a decision that will upset his family. Part of me wants to open it up for guest input, but I'm also afraid that can be opening a can of worms.

We are also planning the wedding in the WI Dells. I originally picked it because I knew my family had a lot of small children and having an indoor waterpark at the hotel we are getting married at is great for them. I also have plans drafted up of ideas and suggestions for fun activities in the area for different family members that we can suggest ahead of time. For example one of my FI's uncles would love to take some time and get to visit some of the microbreweries we have around here. Since I knew everyone is traveling I want to encourage them to turn the trip into a vacation about more than just our wedding.

So my question is how bad is it really to have our wedding on Labor Day weekend? Has any had experience with going to or hosting a wedding on a 3 day holiday weekend?

Maggie0829 · April 2014

I think, with weddings on holiday weekends, you really need to talk to your VIP guests and then decide from there. Like with any other wedding some will be able to come and some won't. If guests don't want to give up their regularly scheduled plans then they will decline. If the date works for you and your VIP guests then that is really all that matters. No matter what date you pick you can't guarantee that it will work for everyone you are inviting.

As for holiday wedding weekends, the only thing that concerns me are the higher costs of travel and lodging because it is a holiday. Also, congestion on the roads is another major concern.

I understand that you want people to feel like this wedding weekend could be turned into a vacation, but that doesn't mean that they will really want to vacation where you are getting married.

KatWAG · April 2014

klove162 said:

My FI and I had originally picked Labor Day weekend for our wedding date. The majority of our guests will be coming from out of town so we thought the idea of a weekend with a travel day buffer would be a good idea for people. We are nearly to the point of signing vendor contracts when we've begun to hear rumblings about how we are asking people to give up their regularly scheduled Labor Day plans. From my point of view their Labor Day plans aren't over, they mostly revolve around the majority of my FI's family getting together. In my eyes they will still be together and it will still be a party, just relocated. I've been to their Labor Day festivities and I think they'll just as much fun in the Dells. I could be over simplifying it in my mind and I don't want to make a decision that will upset his family. Part of me wants to open it up for guest input, but I'm also afraid that can be opening a can of worms.

We are also planning the wedding in the WI Dells. I originally picked it because I knew my family had a lot of small children and having an indoor waterpark at the hotel we are getting married at is great for them. I also have plans drafted up of ideas and suggestions for fun activities in the area for different family members that we can suggest ahead of time. For example one of my FI's uncles would love to take some time and get to visit some of the microbreweries we have around here. Since I knew everyone is traveling I want to encourage them to turn the trip into a vacation about more than just our wedding.

So my question is how bad is it really to have our wedding on Labor Day weekend? Has any had experience with going to or hosting a wedding on a 3 day holiday weekend?

This is a situation where you need to consult your VIPs. I would not be happy to attend a weddding over a 3 day weekend. We have long standing plans that I wouldnt want to change unless we were VERY close.

Also, I assume most people will have to travel to the Dells and that pricing is likely to be higher that weekend since its "the last weekend of summer." And traffic to and from would probaly be worse. Just some things to consider.

If you do pick this date, make sure to send out STDs early and expect a higher than normal decline rate.

msuprincess04 · April 2014

It's a pain for guests. Travel is always more expensive to include flights, gas, and hotel. Most touristy places are busy, and my holidays are the few times a year that I get an extra day to spend doing what I want to do.

ETA: If it works for your schedule, and your family/friends will still be there, then go for it. Though, realize, that you may get more declines because of previously made plans.

Cookie Pusher · April 2014

I've been to several holiday-weekend weddings and am actually having one myself. Here's the thing - guests come if guests come. Invitations aren't subpoenas, so just because you want them to come doesn't mean they will. That's true of any date you pick, not just holiday weekends. What you have to figure out is who are the people you absolutely have to have at your wedding and making sure they are okay with the date and location. After that, if you still go ahead with the Labor Day weekend wedding, you have to be prepared for a lot of declines and some people who are going to be happy. If you're are okay with that, then plan your wedding for the date you want.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

If you are hearing your family grumble about your wedding date, then you know the answer to your question.

Many people don't like to attend holiday weddings because they have long standing vacation traditions that they prefer not to miss. This sounds like the situation with your family.

Other folks here will tell you that they had a holiday wedding and it was fine. It just depends on your families.

JBee85 · April 2014

Personally if I were a guest, I would not be happy about spending my 3 day weekend off from work, one of the only extended weekends I get in the entire year besides Memorial Day weekend, to be at a wedding. I would rather be sleeping in and relax with my own family. Weddings are stressful for not just the bride and groom, but also your guests too. Please don't do this and plan on a weekend away from the holidays- your guests will thank you,

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

You need to consult your VIPs and then figure this out.

Just because YOU think that a wedding in the WI Dells will be 'no different' than their regularly scheduled Labour Day plans doesn't mean that they share that opinion. For starters, it apparently involves a lot of travel for them, and weddings (usually) involve dressing up, which isn't required for family picnics -- those two things right there are VERY different than their regular plans.

Unless you're one of my BFFs (on got married on Holy Saturday in a DW 6.5 hours from where I lived and another got married on Labour Day weekend 5 hours from where then-FI and I lived), I'm not coming to your wedding. I hate traveling on holiday weekends -- the traffic is worse, hotels are more expensive, it's just not pleasant.

But, as Cookie Pusher said, invitations aren't subpoenas. People don't *have* to come. So if you're really set on that date, and it's OK with your VIPs, go for it, just be prepared to have a higher-than-average decline rate.

Also, I don't mean to sound rude, but please don't plan other people's vacations for them. Expecting them to turn your wedding weekend into a mini-vacation for themselves is incredibly presumptuous of you. People are perfectly capable of planning their own holidays, on their own schedules, at a time that is convenient for them -- such as off-season in a touristy area, so things are much cheaper than they otherwise would be.

If you really have your heart set on this date, AND it's OK with your VIPs, go for it.

lyndausvi · April 2014

We work in the hospitality industry, having a holiday wedding pretty much guarantees us not being able to attend. Leaving our situation out of it, having a holiday wedding in itself is not a problem as much as having it at a resort area on the last "weekend" of the summer. Those weekends often equals higher costs for your guests. The grumbling might be from the hotels requiring a few night minimum stays, higher rates, congestion to get to the location, long lines at restaurants and activities and less that they can't do their normal activity.

delujm0 · April 2014

I've only been invited to one holiday weekend wedding - over Memorial Day in a city that was a 4 hour drive from me. I loved it and went with bells on, not having to take any time off of work. But i do not have long standing or annual Memorial Day plans, so it wasn't a big deal. Also, I didn't have to buy a flight, and the city in question isn't a big Memorial Day destination, so hotels were priced as normal (if not a bit below normal) that weekend.

You are completely within your rights to have a holiday weekend wedding. HOWEVER, you have to keep a few things in mind and consider them before you commit to it:

1) MAKE SURE your VIPs are on board. If you don't clear it with them...or they accept but sound unimpressed about it, you may want to reconsider.

2) A lot of people have annual, long standing holiday traditions that they won't give up for your wedding, no matter how close you are. As long as you are comfortable with people delcining to attend because of their annual vacation plans, you're good to go. You will probably have a higher decline rate on a holiday weekend than a regular weekend.

3) If a lot of people are traveling to your wedding, keep in mind that gas prices and flights are often more expensive over holiday weekends in the summer. Also, depending on your location (and water park hotel probably qualifies for this), hotels may be more expensive as well. If you are ok with people declining to attend because they can't afford the trip due to holiday wekeend prices, proceed.

When we selected our venue, the first available weekend was Memorial Day. We considered it, but then decided that due to increased travel costs, the fact that 80% of our guest list is from out of town, and the fact that there is a huge NASCAR race here that weekend (therefore hotels are hard to come by and/or very expensive), we decided against it. Our families indicated that they'd rather take a day off of work and do a normal weekend than deal with holiday travel. We went with the following weekend, so several people are taking the week after Memorial Day off and driving down here slowly, making stops to visit family or take a mini-vacation on the way.

kmmssg · April 2014

Agree with invitations not being subpoenas and that you really need to ask your VIP's if this will really work for them. Ask them to be brutally honest.

DO: "Hey, Uncle Howard how you would feel about the wedding being scheduled for Labor Day in the Wisconsin Dells? Would you guys be able to make it? Please be honest about any challenges or concerns you have."

DON'T: "Uncle Howard - you would be totally cool if we scheduled our wedding for Labor Day Weekend in the Wisconsin Dells, right? It wouldn't be a problem, would it?"

See the difference there?

Here is my take on if I received this invitation:

1. A tourist trap centered around waterparks on the last holiday weekend of Summer? No way.

2. What else is there to do in the Dells for entertainment that doesn't cost an arm and a leg for your family? Not much

3. Will the hotels be charging premium pricing during that weekend? You betcha.

My answer would be a polite decline. That is not how I am going to spend my holiday weekend unless you are one of my kids or the very best friend to walk the planet.

I am trying to say this as gently as I can but when YOU choose a destination for people it is not a vacation. It is something for you and I have to give up holiday weekend time to travel there and back. That isn't a vacation for me.

KatWAG · April 2014

OP, do you know how your guests feel about the Dells? Is that some place they would normally visit. Most people I know, have very strong opinions (both positive and negative) about the Dells.

delujm0 · April 2014

kmmssg said:

I am trying to say this as gently as I can but when YOU choose a destination for people it is not a vacation. It is something for you and I have to give up holiday weekend time to travel there and back. That isn't a vacation for me.

This. I was just in a wedding in St. Lucia. it was beautiful, and it was fun going to the beach in December, but i didn't consider it a vacation. It cost us over $3k just to attend, and we could only afford to go for 4 days, so other than the wedding day we basically spent the whole time traveling. Would i like to go to St. Lucia? Absolutely. On my own time, to a resort of my choosing, at a time when i can easily afford it (aka not 6 months before my own wedding). It sounds like a vacation, but i didn't consider it one. It's only a vacation if i picked and planned it myself.

So don't assume your family would like to replace their annual vacation with your wedding. They probably won't want to (unless it is happening in the sane location at the same time of year as the annual vacation, in which case it MIGHT qualify).

Bubblegum5586 · April 2014

I attended a wedding across the country on Memorial Day weekend a few years back and I was very happy to have the extra day for travel!

klove162 · April 2014

KatWAG many of them have been to the Dells on multiple occasions.

We have the hotel prices locked in at lower than normal weekend rates, if they choose to stay at the hotel we blocked out rooms in.

klove162 · April 2014

You are absolutely right with the difference of how your phrased your question to Uncle Howard.

sofakingmad · April 2014

I am very much against holiday weekend weddings. Like PPs have said, it is nice to give your guests an extra day to travel, but it's more expensive to travel on those days.

And if you are already hearing that people aren't happy about this, why would you go through with it?

[Deleted User] · April 2014

I would actually enjoy a holiday weekend wedding, especially if I have to travel. The reason I would enjoy it is, if you are a person who is important enough to me to travel, the holiday weekend would make it easier because where I work, it's next to impossible to get Friday's off so that would mean having to get a late flight in on Friday night and then leave right away on Sunday morning. Granted I would probably have to do the same on a holiday weekend, but sometimes airlines offer more flight options on holiday weekends because they know there is more demand for travel which may give me more down time. But that is assuming you are opting for a Sunday wedding instead of a Saturday wedding. Else having it on a holiday weekend won't make it easier for people with travel. Like the others have said, talk to your VIP's. Don't ask everyone you want to invite because no matter what you do, you won't be able to make 100% of your guests happy.

flyingfoxes · April 2014

My sister is getting married on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend. It's fine with all of us, but I don't think she has many people coming in from OOT. The Sunday date was cheaper than the Saturday so I don't blame her. Of course I don't usually do anything for Labor Day anyway!

ladybird29 · April 2014

I have a wedding over Labor Day weekend this year and it just so happens to be the third year in a row that I've gone to one over this same weekend. I think as long as the "holiday" isn't Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. then it's actually more convenient for guests considering they get the extra day. Echoing previous posters - if your VIP's are cool with it then I say go for it.

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

My family usually just grills Labor day, so we would come. That is, until I got engaged. My FIs family always has a big camping trip planned that weekend. They take Friday off and go scope out their hunting spots for later that year and go fishing and hiking. That would not be cancelled for anyone's wedding.

grumbledore · April 2014

I am a fan of holiday weekend weddings, on the Saturday, when they are local (and this only goes for Memorial Day/Labor Day/Veteran's Day/Patriot's Day - not the big weekends). I am not a fan of giving up long-standing holiday plans (July 4th/Thanksgiving/Christmas/Easter) or wasting my long weekend travelling for someone else's wedding.

Newborndoc2008 · April 2014

July 4th is a long weekend this year. We will be unhappily trekking to a wedding several states away and 4 hours from the nearest airport. We would much rather spend that weekend at home. Plus with all the increased holiday costs for flights/hotels/rental car, it'll be $3k just for us to attend the wedding. We have to travel all day on 2 of the 3 days when we would have much rather taken a day off another weekend for the wedding. If husband wasn't a groomsman we might have declined.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

OP, I think you need to re-evaluate why you & your FI chose that wkend. If you picked that date without input from VIPs whose attendance is important, I think you should consider picking another date. That said, I'm getting married the Saturday after Thanksgiving/Family Day/Black Friday. It's what works for our VIP family & friends. We DO recognize that this holiday is a very family-oriented one & expect that some invitees will choose not to attend for that reason. We WILL be gracious but firm to anyone will throws shade in our direction because of the date we chose.

lyndausvi · April 2014

Location, location, location. The most important factor in having a holiday wedding.

For example, Labor day wedding in downtown Indy means cheap rooms, little to no traffic, lower venue rates. Memorial day in Indy equals Indy 500, which means some of the highest rates of the year, bad traffic, restaurants are packed, etc. Same city, both holidays, completely different experiences.

A labor day wedding at a resort town is completely different that labor day in an average non-resort location. Even Labor day in a large city like NYC would not be as bad as labor day in say the Hamptons.

sofakingmad · April 2014

Oh and I really really dislike when it's on the Sunday of a holiday weekend. At least if it's on the Saturday, you can enjoy Sunday/Monday with your own family or friends, but when it's on a Sunday, it just takes over the entire weekend.

Obviously, this is personal preference, but it's just something to keep in mind when you are planning a holiday weekend wedding.

I do think that Memorial Day/Labor Day count as holidays. I'm not as picky when it comes to Columbus/Presidents/MLK Jr Day.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

DragonBlood13 said:

Oh and I really really dislike when it's on the Sunday of a holiday weekend. At least if it's on the Saturday, you can enjoy Sunday/Monday with your own family or friends, but when it's on a Sunday, it just takes over the entire weekend.

Obviously, this is personal preference, but it's just something to keep in mind when you are planning a holiday weekend wedding.

I do think that Memorial Day/Labor Day count as holidays. I'm not as picky when it comes to Columbus/Presidents/MLK Jr Day.

This. I consider Memorial Day and Labour Day fairly major holidays -- they bookend summer, and lots of families travel for them. I don't personally do anything other than grill out and drink and hang out with friends. DH's family always has a big family reunion the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, so that would be a deal-breaker for them.

We got married the Sunday of Columbus Day weekend, but we did clear the date with our VIPs first (more because it was a Sunday than because it was Columbus Day; I didn't realise the latter until we were well into our planning).

Maggie0829 · April 2014

DragonBlood13 said:

Oh and I really really dislike when it's on the Sunday of a holiday weekend. At least if it's on the Saturday, you can enjoy Sunday/Monday with your own family or friends, but when it's on a Sunday, it just takes over the entire weekend.

Obviously, this is personal preference, but it's just something to keep in mind when you are planning a holiday weekend wedding.

I do think that Memorial Day/Labor Day count as holidays. I'm not as picky when it comes to Columbus/Presidents/MLK Jr Day.

I agree. At least with a Saturday wedding on a 3-day weekend I could head back home on Sunday morning and then still have Sunday evening and all day Monday to relax. But a Sunday wedding on a 3-day weekends means I have just given up an entire extended weekend for a 6 hour event. Not cool.

lyndausvi · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

DragonBlood13 said:

Oh and I really really dislike when it's on the Sunday of a holiday weekend. At least if it's on the Saturday, you can enjoy Sunday/Monday with your own family or friends, but when it's on a Sunday, it just takes over the entire weekend.

Obviously, this is personal preference, but it's just something to keep in mind when you are planning a holiday weekend wedding.

I do think that Memorial Day/Labor Day count as holidays. I'm not as picky when it comes to Columbus/Presidents/MLK Jr Day.

This. I consider Memorial Day and Labour Day fairly major holidays -- they bookend summer, and lots of families travel for them. I don't personally do anything other than grill out and drink and hang out with friends. DH's family always has a big family reunion the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, so that would be a deal-breaker for them.

We got married the Sunday of Columbus Day weekend, but we did clear the date with our VIPs first (more because it was a Sunday than because it was Columbus Day; I didn't realise the latter until we were well into our planning).

I think pretty much only federal and state employees and bankers get off Columbus day any more. I'm sure there are a few random private employers who also get off, but I've been in the work force a while now and really don't know anyone outside of gov't and banking that have the day off anymore.

sofakingmad · April 2014

Oh and if you expect me to travel for your wedding and plan it around Thanksgiving or Christmas, that is an automatic decline. I always have to travel on those holidays and I wouldn't travel twice.

However, I have one small exception and that would be for a NYE wedding. I would go to an NYE wedding because I don't really care for that holiday because it's amateur night and so expensive to go out and just a clusterf*ck.

thisismynickname2 · April 2014

Everyone's already given excellent advice which I agree with.

I attended, as the MOH, a July 5th wedding when I was much younger. It was awesome because the rehearsal dinner was treated like a July 4th barbecue, and we all got to watch the fireworks together.

Obviously July 4th isn't always an automatic 3-day weekend, but that year it was. It wasn't in a "destination" but we did have to drive 9 hours. No biggie. This is exactly an "ask your VIP" situation that worked out very well.

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