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Catering your own bridal shower

ElleNguyenElleNguyen member
First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Pre-wedding Parties
Has anyone ever done this before? What are some DOs and DONT's? I told my BM I will cater it myself so they don't have to blow anymore additional money out of their pockets. Plus being a culinary student, I'm actually looking forward to it.
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Re: Catering your own bridal shower

  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Not appropriate. Be happy with whatever they offer. If that's chips, dip, punch and cake, then that's enough.
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  • Lauderdale PinkLauderdale Pink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    I am so glad that I am not a "stuck on the rules" type of person.  If the ladies who are hosting for you are OK with you doing the catering, then go for it and enjoy.  I love when people take different options and think creatively, and your BM is probably thrilled that you are such a considerate, selfless bride.  That said, if all are in agreement, then plan the menu together so the hostesses still have some say.
    Wishing you the best of luck and congrats on being such a wonderful person.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    ElleNguyen said:
    Has anyone ever done this before? What are some DOs and DONT's? I told my BM I will cater it myself so they don't have to blow anymore additional money out of their pockets. Plus being a culinary student, I'm actually looking forward to it.
    If I was your BM I would find that to be extremely rude of you and think that you have no faith in me and what I can plan.

    It is rude to have any role in your bridal shower except to show up, smile and thank everyone for the presents.  Be happy with whatever they can provide/plan.  Don't try to micromanage, even if you think you are coming from a good place.

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  • ElleNguyenElleNguyen member
    First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    Well, I always consult with my girls about everything that involves them, I don't just ever do it. They're ok with it and they're actually really appreciative that I'm doing it. We're trying to plan the menu now.
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  • ElleNguyenElleNguyen member
    First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @Lauderdale Pink--I'm not either! And thank you.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    ElleNguyen said:
    Well, I always consult with my girls about everything that involves them, I don't just ever do it. They're ok with it and they're actually really appreciative that I'm doing it. We're trying to plan the menu now.
    Well you shouldn't have consulted about this.  You, as the bride, should not be involved with any planning aspect of your bridal shower.

    But apparently you don't give a shit so I don't even know why I am wasting my time.

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  • ElleNguyenElleNguyen member
    First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    Lol. Someone's feelings are hurt. Why you mad though? Idk why you're wasting your time getting mad about some discussion that's online either. It's really not that serious.
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    If you didn't want to hear the answer, why did you ask for feedback? You wanted dos and don'ts, and @maggie0829 gave them to you. Do be gracious and thankful for what's being offered in your honor, don't have anything else to do with planning a party that's asking people to bring you gifts. Pretty simple.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    ElleNguyen said:
    Lol. Someone's feelings are hurt. Why you mad though? Idk why you're wasting your time getting mad about some discussion that's online either. It's really not that serious.
    @ElleNguyen - My feelings are the furthest from hurt and I am also no where near mad (sorry but I don't know you so I really have neutral feelings where you are concern).  I just realized in the middle of writing my follow up post that you don't give a shit in regards to any opinions that may differ from what you want to do so I decided that trying to say anything to the contrary was a waste of my time.

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  • ElleNguyenElleNguyen member
    First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    Lol, and it continues. I love how you all keep telling me to be thankful and gracious like I'm not. But hey, you are entitled to your own opinion as am I. Good day!
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  • kirby400kirby400 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2014
    ElleNguyen said:
    Has anyone ever done this before? What are some DOs and DONT's? I told my BM I will cater it myself so they don't have to blow anymore additional money out of their pockets. Plus being a culinary student, I'm actually looking forward to it.
    I never get the "let's get in an online fight for no good reason".....

    If you and your BMs agree, that's great! What if you made a night of it the night before? They can be your sous chefs! Share some apps and wine while you slice and dice?

    I imagine what you do depends on how fancy, how many people, theme/no theme, and allergies.  So, if you are doing an elegant sit-down lunch for 12, that's obviously different then a luau-themed bbq shower for 25.

    Since you asked about catering, that's what I'm replying to. I think the games/presents/hosting duties are probably a separate concern. It would probably be better to have one of your BM  be the MC to direct gift-giving, keeping track  of gift givers for thank-you notes, and addressing guest concerns.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    ElleNguyen said:
    Has anyone ever done this before? What are some DOs and DONT's? I told my BM I will cater it myself so they don't have to blow anymore additional money out of their pockets. Plus being a culinary student, I'm actually looking forward to it.
    Don'ts of a bridal shower:  The bride does not pay for or provide anything.  There I have just answered your question that you asked.  
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  • perdonamiperdonami member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment

    My aunt decided she wanted to host a bridal shower for me as my bridesmaids are all out of town. But, a bridal shower is usually a kind gesture that your bridal party does for you. The only input a bride is able to contribute to a bridal shower is the guest list and that's it. As fun as it is to cook and help plan a party, not to mention how well-meaning intentions, it is bad etiquette.

    The reasoning for it, is that if you help host a party in your honor it is considered rude and may appear self-centered.  Sure, you are trying really hard to be supportive and I see how you may feel you are being generous but it won't appear that way to all of your guests. 

    Why don't you spend that extra catering money and time on doing something special for your guests on your wedding day? Perhaps go all out on a nice dessert table or rent a photo booth. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    perdonami said:

    My aunt decided she wanted to host a bridal shower for me as my bridesmaids are all out of town. But, a bridal shower is usually a kind gesture that your bridal party does for you. The only input a bride is able to contribute to a bridal shower is the guest list and that's it. As fun as it is to cook and help plan a party, not to mention how well-meaning intentions, it is bad etiquette.

    The reasoning for it, is that if you help host a party in your honor it is considered rude and may appear self-centered.  Sure, you are trying really hard to be supportive and I see how you may feel you are being generous but it won't appear that way to all of your guests. 

    Why don't you spend that extra catering money and time on doing something special for your guests on your wedding day? Perhaps go all out on a nice dessert table or rent a photo booth. 
    No, that is incorrect.  Anyone can throw you a bridal shower, not just the members of the bridal party.  In fact, the bridal party does not have to throw you one if they don't want to.

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  • perdonamiperdonami member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I said usually and I guess I should have made it more clear when I said "kind gesture" that I meant it is not obligatory.
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  • MGPMGP member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    No. Providing anything for your own shower, even behind the scenes, crosses over into self hosting territory and that is very inappropriate. It can also come across as you taking over because what your hosts planned isn't "good enough" for you.

    It sounds like you are trying to be respectful of your hosts budget and the best way to do that is to graciously accept what they have planned for you. There are plenty of other opportunities to practice your cooking skills. Your own bridal shower is not the right place.
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