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Wedding Etiquette Forum
hanjoy
member
Honeymoon Fund vs. Honeymoon Activities
FI and I have booked our honeymoon at a Sandals resort. I keep getting e-mails about making my honeymoon activity registry. What do you ladies think of this? Is it less rude since people would be contributing to special dinners, spa treatments, and activities around the resort rather than a plane ticket and room fees? For some reason the idea still doesn't sit well with me so we will not be registering. Though I will be treating myself to a post-wedding massage 
. Just wondering what official etiquette says about this.
. Just wondering what official etiquette says about this. This discussion has been closed.
Re: Honeymoon Fund vs. Honeymoon Activities
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
Call and ask Sandals about this feature. If guests can just select activities to pay for online and pay the regular amount that you would otherwise have to pay yourself, I wouldn't side-eye it. This isn't a situation where a guest thinks they're buying you dinner but you're actually getting cash...in this situaton Sandals would actually be signing you up for the dinner, I assume.
If there are no fees, I wouldn't side-eye it too much. But MAKE SURE you are only signing up for activities that you're actually planning on doing while you're there. Sandals could easily say "this has already been paid for, take it or leave it" and make any of these registry gifts nonrefundable. So if you sign up for like 9 excursons, receive them all, and then only actually want to do 3 of them, that would be both rude to the guests that paid for th stuff you didn't actually do and a waste of money.
As always, i would prefer to just get cash at the wedding, but if you really want to do this (provided there are no associated fees and payments are actually applied by Sandals to the events requested), I'd be ok with it.
A. You actually get the activity paid for, not a check.
B. They pay the resort directly.
C. The only way the guest can access this is if they ask you for your registry information. I wouldn't put it in your shower invitations or on your website.
It would also be nice if the resort could credit you for an activity that's paid for but you're unable to do, and allow you to use that money towards another activity, special dinner, spa services, etc., so it's not lost. If you have a paid parasailing excursion and the weather prevents you doing that, they should offer alternatives.
Adding the service & handling fee to the transaction means that the purchaser will be charged a 9.65% service & handling fee at check-out. Purchasers can receive a 2.65% discount if they choose to mail a check directly bringing the total service fee to 7%.
Guests from around the world can make a contribution towards your honeymoon with ease which means no shipping or carrying gifts with them to your wedding destination. Please feel free to call us with any questions
Source: http://registry.sandals.com/registry/Honeymoon-Registry-Couple-FAQ#q5
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
Uuuuuuuugh, pass. Sandals overcharges for most of their excursions anyway. You can get them directly from the tour company for up to 50% less.
in light of this new information OP i'd say don't do it.
If I want to give you money, I'll just give you money.
I don't need a suggestion regarding how I can give you that money in such a way that I have to pay a premium on what I give you.
This fee that they are talking about is not deducting from your gift, it's in addition to it. So your gift of $100 becomes $110.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
From registry.sandals.com: Receiving all the wonderful gifts your friends and family purchase for your Sandals honeymoon is simple. For resort credits and all spa items, these will be transferred to your room account on property for use with any items that may be billed to your room. All resort credit's must be used on property during your stay, are non-refundable and non-transferable. All resort credits must be purchased 4 days prior to your arrival. For all Tour and Wedding Package items, after the gifts have been purchased from your gift registry, you will be notified via email. At that time, you may contact our reservations department who will assist you with the scheduling of this gift at 877-309-7162. For booking add-ons such as tours, payment must be made at the time you are making the booking and monies will be transferred from the purchase on your registry. We kindly request 48 hours notice if you need to cancel or reschedule your event. 100% of the value of the service will be non-refundable if less than 24 hours is given for the cancellation. If an add-on event is canceled due to weather we will attempt to reschedule during your stay. If we are unable to reschedule the event, you will receive a refund. You will receive details on how to book these items once the item is purchased or by checking your "Registry Item Details Page" by logging in to your account at any time. For Trip Contributions, all gift monies will be transferred to you by check or ACH transfer according to your payment preference. All trip contributions will be processed 24 hours (business day) after your request. Back To Top
So it sounds like instead of receiving the bottle of wine you get credits to your account. For excursions you do have to schedule them. So I will say that this is better than honey fund or the majority of HM registries but I'd still consider it misleading and rude. Sandals takes a fee and they still have the trip contribution option where the couple receives a check. I still don't read the excursions as you have to take that specific one but maybe im wrong. I still think registering for your HM is tacky. If a person asks you about your trip and if they can contribute great. They don't need a roadmap on how to do so though.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
This. We have a page on our wedding website about our honeymoon. It's basically just our itinerary and the hotels that we're staying at. Sometimes FI's family likes to send us gift cards to use at restaurants when they know we're going on vacation. They research local restaurants online when they know where we're going. If someone feels like doing that for this trip, great, they can find out where we're going and when on the website. If they would rather get us a physical gift or write us a check, also great. If they give us nothing, that is totally fine as well. In no way do we at any time say "want pay for our honeymoon in some way? here's how you can do it!" but if they have that thought on their own, they can figure it out.
I think the thing i hate the most about traditional honeymoon registries is that it's like "PAY FOR OUR HONEYMOON!" but when it's through the hotel it's more like "we paid for this trip and everything, but if you want to give us a little something extra while we're there, that's cool." I do not respect people who book a trip that they can't afford because they expect other people to buy it for them. No one is owed or entiled to a honeymoon.
the thing i hate the second most about honeymoon registries: the lying! obvs. :-)