We are adulterers so brother dropped out of wedding!

mbross3 · April 2014

UGH! I am so sorry! I hate when people use their faith as an excuse to judge/hurt others.

Honestly if my brother said that, I would not want him at my wedding. That being said, I would probably still allow him to come, if he wanted to. I would have a conversation with him about how much what he said hurts, and then let him decide whether to attend the wedding.

Try not to let his judgment get you down. He is obviously mistaken, judgmental, and trapped in a different century's mind-frame.

Good luck to you! I hope you can work it out with your brother.

phira · April 2014

Your brother is a dipshit. Wheeeee!!

thetimewillcome · April 2014

To start: I totally agree, your brother is being dumb.

However, in the Old New Testament Jesus said (paraphrasing) that adulterers include those who sleep with/marry someone who has been married before. In other words, if you've been married, even if you are divorced, you commit adultery by being with someone else. (I don't really want to defend the guy, I'm just throwing this out there in case this is where he got it from.)

That being said, if your brother is so religious, then he also knows that Jesus died for our sins. This includes the sin of the aforementioned adultery. We have also been forgiven for our sins. If Jesus/God can forgive, then your brother should be able to forgive too.

Again, I'm not agreeing with your brother, just offering a different perspective.

ETA: To fix my glaring, super embarrassing mistake.

Viczaesar · April 2014

thetimewillcome said:

To start: I totally agree, your brother is being dumb.

However, in the Old Testament Jesus said (paraphrasing) that adulterers include those who sleep with/marry someone who has been married before. In other words, if you've been married, even if you are divorced, you commit adultery by being with someone else. (I don't really want to defend the guy, I'm just throwing this out there in case this is where he got it from.)

That being said, if your brother is so religious, then he also knows that Jesus died for our sins. This includes the sin of the aforementioned adultery. We have also been forgiven for our sins. If Jesus/God can forgive, then your brother should be able to forgive too.

Again, I'm not agreeing with your brother, just offering a different perspective.

Jesus said that in the Old Testament? What?

thetimewillcome · April 2014

Oops...sorry, I mean the New Testament. I fail. I'm seriously so embarrassed.

Matthew 19:9 for reference: And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immortality, and marries another commits adultery. (Obviously different Bibles say it differently).

ETA: I do not follow the above passage (I am divorced...nuff said). I was just throwing it out there as a possibility of where the brother may have got it from. In retrospect, it really does not matter where the brother got it from, but I didn't want to be a semi-DD.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

thetimewillcome said:

Oops...sorry, I mean the New Testament. I fail. I'm seriously so embarrassed.

Matthew 19:9 for reference: And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immortality, and marries another commits adultery. (Obviously different Bibles say it differently).

The Bible contradicts itself left and right. . . too many people wrote it over too long a period of time, and there are far too many versions and translations.

I have a "shortlist" that I feel is the stuff of prime importance.

In my experience, only fundamentalists try to follow or believe that passage.

thetimewillcome · April 2014

@PrettyGirlLost

I completely agree with you. I was just saying that maybe that was where the brother got it from. I was not saying I agree with it. If I did, I'm in big trouble.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

thetimewillcome said:

@PrettyGirlLost

I completely agree with you. I was just saying that maybe that was where the brother got it from. I was not saying I agree with it. If I did, I'm in big trouble.

Oh yeah, I gotcha.

Poor LAM, I'm really sorry your brother is being this way.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

thetimewillcome said:

To start: I totally agree, your brother is being dumb.

However, in the Old Testament Jesus said (paraphrasing) that adulterers include those who sleep with/marry someone who has been married before. In other words, if you've been married, even if you are divorced, you commit adultery by being with someone else. (I don't really want to defend the guy, I'm just throwing this out there in case this is where he got it from.)

That being said, if your brother is so religious, then he also knows that Jesus died for our sins. This includes the sin of the aforementioned adultery. We have also been forgiven for our sins. If Jesus/God can forgive, then your brother should be able to forgive too.

Again, I'm not agreeing with your brother, just offering a different perspective.

thetimewillcome said:

Oops...sorry, I mean the New Testament. I fail. I'm seriously so embarrassed.

Matthew 19:9 for reference: And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immortality, and marries another commits adultery. (Obviously different Bibles say it differently).

I think the larger issue most of us have with this (or at least that I have with this) is that, suddenly, 24 days before OP's wedding, this bothers her brother? REALLY? It's JUST NOW bothering you? I find that hard to believe.

Also, other than Catholics, I don't know any religious denominations that strictly adhere to that passage or any of the other NT passages that forbid remarriage after divorce unless the grounds for the divorce were sexual immorality. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong.)

Also, because I'm on the Conference Call That Will Never End, I looked through OP's posting history. Her ex-H eventually married her SIL's (wife of the brother in question in this post) mother, making her step-father also her former-BIL. (http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1013908/mia-brother-groomsman/p1)

I'm thinking the brother is pulling this crap out of his ass because his wife has him by the short curlies.

smalfrie19 · April 2014

thetimewillcome said:

To start: I totally agree, your brother is being dumb.

However, in the Old Testament Jesus said (paraphrasing) that adulterers include those who sleep with/marry someone who has been married before. In other words, if you've been married, even if you are divorced, you commit adultery by being with someone else. (I don't really want to defend the guy, I'm just throwing this out there in case this is where he got it from.)

That being said, if your brother is so religious, then he also knows that Jesus died for our sins. This includes the sin of the aforementioned adultery. We have also been forgiven for our sins. If Jesus/God can forgive, then your brother should be able to forgive too.

Again, I'm not agreeing with your brother, just offering a different perspective.

Jesus wasn't in the OT...just sayin...

thetimewillcome · April 2014

I edited both of my previous posts. I'm dumb, I made a very embarrassing mistake. I failed. I just want everyone to know, I was not trying to get on a biblical or religious high horse.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

thetimewillcome said:

To start: I totally agree, your brother is being dumb.

However, in the Old Testament Jesus said (paraphrasing) that adulterers include those who sleep with/marry someone who has been married before. In other words, if you've been married, even if you are divorced, you commit adultery by being with someone else. (I don't really want to defend the guy, I'm just throwing this out there in case this is where he got it from.)

That being said, if your brother is so religious, then he also knows that Jesus died for our sins. This includes the sin of the aforementioned adultery. We have also been forgiven for our sins. If Jesus/God can forgive, then your brother should be able to forgive too.

Again, I'm not agreeing with your brother, just offering a different perspective.

thetimewillcome said:

Oops...sorry, I mean the New Testament. I fail. I'm seriously so embarrassed.

Matthew 19:9 for reference: And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immortality, and marries another commits adultery. (Obviously different Bibles say it differently).

I think the larger issue most of us have with this (or at least that I have with this) is that, suddenly, 24 days before OP's wedding, this bothers her brother? REALLY? It's JUST NOW bothering you? I find that hard to believe.

Also, other than Catholics, I don't know any religious denominations that strictly adhere to that passage or any of the other NT passages that forbid remarriage after divorce unless the grounds for the divorce were sexual immorality. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong.)

Also, because I'm on the Conference Call That Will Never End, I looked through OP's posting history. Her ex-H eventually married her SIL's (wife of the brother in question in this post) mother, making her step-father also her former-BIL. (http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1013908/mia-brother-groomsman/p1)

I'm thinking the brother is pulling this crap out of his ass because his wife has him by the short curlies.

I don't think Catholics adhere to that passage at all. They can divorce and remarry, they just need to get an annulment.

CMGragain · April 2014

When Jesus was speaking about divorce, he was talking to the world of the first century CE. The Jewish people had only recently become monogamous since their contact with the Greek culture a few centuries before. Until then, they had been polygamous.
Men could divorce their wives easily and replace them with a new model. (Sound familiar?) Women did not have the same privilege. They were sent back to their parents, or, if their family would or could not support them, they became prostitutes - the only way they could earn a living. A similar system now exists in Afghanistan and other parts of the Middle East, except that polygamy is accepted there.
This is the culture that Jesus was addressing. He was speaking to the men to not casually divorce women and cast them aside in a society with no provisions for them. Jesus was unusual in that he cared about the welfare of women.
Taken out of context, this has been interpreted many different ways. What your brother said to you was not a Christian sentiment. I hope you can forgive his ignorance and hurtfulness.

CrazyCatLady3 · April 2014

CMGragain said:

When Jesus was speaking about divorce, he was talking to the world of the first century CE. The Jewish people had only recently become monogamous since their contact with the Greek culture a few centuries before. Until then, they had been polygamous.
Men could divorce their wives easily and replace them with a new model. (Sound familiar?) Women did not have the same privilege. They were sent back to their parents, or, if their family would or could not support them, they became prostitutes - the only way they could earn a living. A similar system now exists in Afghanistan and other parts of the Middle East, except that polygamy is accepted there.
This is the culture that Jesus was addressing. He was speaking to the men to not casually divorce women and cast them aside in a society with no provisions for them. Jesus was unusual in that he cared about the welfare of women.
Taken out of context, this has been interpreted many different ways. What your brother said to you was not a Christian sentiment. I hope you can forgive his ignorance and hurtfulness.

Thank you. I wish everyone would read biblical passages in the proper context.

photokitty · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

banana468 said:

To me, an annulment is just piece of crap. I don't see how anyone can say a marriage never happened unless one or both parties were not mentally sound to make that decision.It is just a way to get around divorce. Divorce should exist. Both parties don't always try. So if one person does not put any effort into a marriage, does that mean the other person is doomed to be stuck in a loveless marriage? I don't think that adheres to the teachings of Christ.
My father is doing a Mexican standoff as well, and he is not coming to the wedding because he cannot walk me down the aisle. Your brother is being really judgmental. Sending you hugs and thoughts of delicious red wine to get you through this. Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision, because you won't enter into it, lightly. There will be plenty of people overjoyed to witness your marriage, even though it hurts what your brother has said, focus on everyone else.
I think YOU are now being really judgemental. The point of an annulment is when there are proven grounds that a marriage was not sacramental. It isn't just a way to get around divorce although the legal dissolution of marriage is often rather complicated, especially when there are community assets and children involved. I know that this isn't necessarily pertaining to the OP but it annoys me in its ignorance. @LAM524, I'll echo the others saying he is full of shit but still extend the invitation. I'd even day to him that you feel it's the Christian thing to do. I'm sorry he's acting like such a turd.

So much this. Annulments don't exist to 'get around' divorce. That's not the purpose of them. The Catholic Church doesn't just grant annulments willy-nilly, or deny them when they should be given.

It also has NOTHING to do with the legal dissolution of marriage. If you want to get divorced, go right ahead.

Also, annulments don't say a marriage never happened. they say there was a reason the marriage was invalid. The RCC views marriage as a contract, and an annulment acknowledges and fixes a defect in the contract by voiding the contract -- and that defect can include the lack of intent of one party to enter into a lifelong commitment.

Your example of not being mentally sound is one reason an annulment can be granted, but there are others.

But just because you don't understand them or you don't agree with them doesn't make them 'crap.'

Having gotten an annulment and lived through the horrific process I have to agree that annulments are crap. I don't completely agree with the reasons behind PPs opinion that they are crap, I still agree they are in fact crap.

If the Catholic church really cared they would not tell you "get a civil divorce and then come talk to us about an annulment." They would deal with it via counseling and guidance before and throughout the legal divorce process. If the church opts not to grant an annulment a year or more after the divorce if legally final, what are you supposed to do...go get remarried to the same person again??? It is ridiculous, antiquated and completely devoid of compassion.

I completely understand them and was a devout Catholic before my church's dogma abandoned me in my time of need. I never had a crisis of faith, but definitely of dogma and doctrine. I think they are crap. IMHO

Annndreaaaaa · April 2014

Just came across this somewhat relevant article: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/pope-francis-told-divorced-and-remarried-woman-there-is-nothing-wrong-with-her-taking-communion-italian-newspaper-says-9278320.html

Maybe you should show him

LAM524 · April 2014

Sorry I havent responded. Long work day. First I really want to hug everyone. You all said so many wonderful things that I really do appreciate. There are so many..too many to address. Its it awful to say that I especially love the alcohol suggestions and the colorful adjectives?

First, I will clarify, this is not that MIA brother that I let stay with me. He is still MIA and not invited to wedding. This brother has had his head in the bible since he was 9 years old (he is christian). Many times, I have heard his struggles with interpreting "word" so not to live in "sin." Many times, I have thought he is his worse enemy. For instance, he believes he (divorced) can not marry also and has to live the rest of his life alone.

As far as this coming up now. Technically, the "talk" isnt that new. It all started about a month and half ago when I told him who we were starting pre-marital counseling with. A Pastor who is divorced and dating. Who after divorce, did not step down from pulpit. Brother has always had a problem with this (brother doesnt attend our church). Well, that rolled over to me and my finance's marriage being in question. He told me to "pray & research" and come to my own conclusion and whatever I decided, he would support me. I honestly did. I read scripture and "scholarly" publications, talked to Pastor, etc. 1st I dealt with the "sin" of getting divorced. My ex was an adulterer. 27 years of it. Literally, it was stay or die. (suffered depression). I prayed...asked for forgiveness for divorcing (ex wanted divorce also and told me that I was "free" because of the sins he committed against our marriage. Because mother told me recently that " strong women stay in adulteress marriages, I felt a ping of failure and guilt, so I prayed and prayed and thought and thought! Eventually, I found peace and expressed to brother. Well then he posed...."you can not marry" or adulterer thing and hell thing.

I went back to the bible and really, with an open mind and heart, looked for a reason "not" to marry. I found peace with what has become known as the "exception clause" and a few other biblical facts. Both mine and fiances spouses cheated many times. "Sexual immorality." Talked to brother (we always have really good biblical conversation and healthy debates) and he agreed we were both "free" to remarry. Not that I need his approval but it was nice to have that support.

About 2 weeks ago, he decided to ask me questions that NOW seems I had to "qualify" my relationship. Timeline stuff...when did you meet...when this...what that...etc. Did you lust for him, him you etc. So because we were friends first, (me ex, fiance and ex) we spent time together...with groups of people. My fiance knew my creative writing background and asked me to join his worship planning team years ago. Well, after explaining this, my brother decided that my fiance "lusted" after me, stating that "Im a man, I know!' (fiance was married) Then, and only then, after weeks of discussion did I lose patience. I told him that he didnt "know" my fiance (he does) and that his boundaries are so unbelievably thick that he wont even hug a woman unless she jumps in for a hug...and how dare he judge him based on what he (brother) has done.

Brother came up with one more "concern" and that was: "Could a pastor marry his sheep?" I lost it! Mind you, the other 2 issues were "resolved." We both "biblical" grounds for divorce and were free to marry. NOW.....he throws the marry sheep thing! I told him that this is getting ridiculous! I told him we are fine...and that he keeps obsessing over our relationship and better get a grip because "now" it seems you are just looking for reasons! I also said "show me in the bible where it states he can not marry his "sheep." (he did not) But was "curious" as to what my fiance's answer would be! I asked him not to approach fiance with this stuff because he is going thru much with his mom. Brother said he wouldnt. 2 days later he invited him for coffee and did.

I dont know much of what was said (fiance filters things for my protection) but I know one thing..my fiance said "if you are trying convince me to not marry her, Im telling you its not gonna happen!" Brother said, I believe if Jesus came up along side you right now and told you not to...you wouldnt listen to him either (seems brother was trying to convince him not to marry me)! A HUGE hurt for me! Then stupid brother asked fiance "well do you love her?"

Ive got to tell you, Pastor or not, I really dont know how he didnt knock him on his butt! The entire thing is so demeaning, disrespectful and selfish on my brothers part.

One of the biggest BS's of this is that brother has not addressed me! He has not told me! WTH?? So two brothers down....wonder if final brother will drop? There is no reason or threat but at this rate! He actually doesnt even know that other 2 have dropped! Drama I dont want to deal with!

When I found out that my brother approached fiance after I explained and asked not to, I was so hurt, it really hurt my fiance also. He thought coffee invite was only to check in on how he was dealing with his mother stuff.

I had no idea that my brothers participation in our wedding was to be determined based on what he CHOSE to believe about mine and fiances relationship! Last night was a complete shock! Still is. I cant help but feel its one big hypocritical stance! So now, if we decide not to have him (cause I really dont want to look at him knowing what he thinks/feels) it will all be our fault! I really dont want him there. I want people there who are there to celebrate with us...not condemn or judge!

My fiance believes and has taught me so much about the grace of God, ( I raised myself catholic and knew God as a punishing God) redemption, mercy...Gods love. He firmly believes in these truths. My brother says he believes and knows Gods grace but.....

There is so much I want to add in addressing your comments but I dont want to be rude with a super extra long comment here. @CMGragain...thank you! Yes, when men wanted to sleep around they would send their wives away...(out of house) then when they needed them back (cook clean etc), they called them back in. To send away meant divorce. They were abusing it.

LAM524 · April 2014

btw...neither of us were married Catholic. My Catholic priest wouldnt marry us because he judged we wouldnt makie it past the 1st year! I was 17, and ex was 21. Quite a blow for me! Id say married 27, he was wrong! Priest was right in one aspect, ex wasnt faithful that first year or any year!

LAM524 · April 2014

I want to say that I cant believe there is a God that is so punishing! In His likeness, aren't we all suppose to be? I cant wrap my head around this one issue (my brothers) of divorce/remarry! I also believe that my brother condemning himself to be alone the rest of his life (hes 43) is sooo sad. I just cant believe that God, who is of love, does not want us to share this life with someone we love.

The biggest conviction that I have, deep in my heart, is that we (me and fiance) reach so many others now, not married, that as a married couple, we can reach so many more by example. We have our "2nd" chance. Everyone needs hope!

APDSS22 · April 2014

All I took away from that is that your brother basically decided to pervert the relationship that you have with your FI to suit his own wish to make his own life hard and lonely. He then decided to call you adulterers to justify being judgmental of your relationship and marriage. Also, if his objection was that your FI is marrying one of his sheep he is either stubborn about religious leaders marrying at all, or thinks what, that all pastors should marry into another religion or congregation?

His logic is circular and it sounds to me like he started out with the conclusion that he wanted to cause drama by finding a "problem" with your relationship and worked to find biblical passages that would support that (mostly out of context). If you and your FI have thought about this, are in a healthy relationship and are at peace with your decision to wed, do not stress over other people's views or opinions. There will always be drama. Just let this strengthen your relationship to FI. This too, shall pass.

Sugargirl1019 · April 2014

I want to throw up reading how your brother was using Jesus to get your FI to not marry you! How awful! I'm so angry for you - you poor thing. "Did you lust for your FI" what the hell does it matter? That's not the situation now as it has obviously evolved into love!

Remember that you and FI are getting married because you will support each other and grow with one another for as long as you both shall live and cannot imagine anyone else standing next to you and supporting you in your walk through life!

I'm going to hit someone now. How terrible to twist the bible in that fashion.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

Your brother Is a fucking prick. Don't Invite him to the wedding. Cut all ties.

'If thy right hand offendeth thee cut it off' -- that's in the Bible, too.

Also, remind him of the passage in Matthew about removing the log from your own eye before helping your brother with the splinter in his eye.

jdluvr06 · April 2014

Ignore your brother he is being a jack ass.

Viczaesar · April 2014

thetimewillcome said:

I edited both of my previous posts. I'm dumb, I made a very embarrassing mistake. I failed. I just want everyone to know, I was not trying to get on a biblical or religious high horse.

No worries, @thetimewillcome. Typos and mental slips happen to everyone. I'm getting a PhD in Religious Studies, so it's a particular point of interest for me and caught my attention.

Viczaesar · April 2014

CMGragain said:

When Jesus was speaking about divorce, he was talking to the world of the first century CE. The Jewish people had only recently become monogamous since their contact with the Greek culture a few centuries before. Until then, they had been polygamous.
Men could divorce their wives easily and replace them with a new model. (Sound familiar?) Women did not have the same privilege. They were sent back to their parents, or, if their family would or could not support them, they became prostitutes - the only way they could earn a living. A similar system now exists in Afghanistan and other parts of the Middle East, except that polygamy is accepted there.
This is the culture that Jesus was addressing. He was speaking to the men to not casually divorce women and cast them aside in a society with no provisions for them. Jesus was unusual in that he cared about the welfare of women.
Taken out of context, this has been interpreted many different ways. What your brother said to you was not a Christian sentiment. I hope you can forgive his ignorance and hurtfulness.

Not really, no.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

CrazyCatLady3 said:

CMGragain said:

When Jesus was speaking about divorce, he was talking to the world of the first century CE. The Jewish people had only recently become monogamous since their contact with the Greek culture a few centuries before. Until then, they had been polygamous.
Men could divorce their wives easily and replace them with a new model. (Sound familiar?) Women did not have the same privilege. They were sent back to their parents, or, if their family would or could not support them, they became prostitutes - the only way they could earn a living. A similar system now exists in Afghanistan and other parts of the Middle East, except that polygamy is accepted there.
This is the culture that Jesus was addressing. He was speaking to the men to not casually divorce women and cast them aside in a society with no provisions for them. Jesus was unusual in that he cared about the welfare of women.
Taken out of context, this has been interpreted many different ways. What your brother said to you was not a Christian sentiment. I hope you can forgive his ignorance and hurtfulness.

Thank you. I wish everyone would read biblical passages in the proper context.

Which version of the passages and what translation? The problem remains the same.

I take all religious texts in the context in which they were written.

chibiyui · April 2014

I'd like to add the words "asshole" and "projection" to the words to be highlighted in your brothers dictionary.

thesummersky · April 2014

Wow, that is unreal. I agree with @HisGirlFriday13. I would disinvite him, stop talking to him, and pray for him.

CMGragain · April 2014

@Viczeaser King David, King Solomon? They had multiple wives, as did other wealthy people in Judea. Most people only had one wife because that is what they could afford, but before the Babylonian exile, wealthy people were permitted multiple wives. There is nothing in the Bible that addresses monogamy vs. polygamy. It is not mentioned.
By the time of Jesus, polygamy was out of favor by the Romans, Greeks and Jews. It was and is still practiced in many parts of the Middle East.

LAM524 · April 2014

thanks everyone, really! Sometimes being so close to the bull, Im not sure if Im just over reacting from the "kick!" Its 2:45 am, can't sleep for obvious reason. Ive done lots of praying, thinking and crying. Then I start the cycle all again. I really cant figure why Im so hurt. Really there is no anger, not as of yet, (but I often experience delayed emotions). How could I be angry with someone who really does believe what he, himself has decided to live by? So I must respect it! I know this brother really doesnt mean to hurt me/us. But still, I am deeply saddened/hurt.
I guess because his decision (no matter what it is based on) equates to what I can only conclude is not loving me "enough" the "right" way. The way I need it. *selfish maybe*

Here is are my thoughts right now. (I figure if I get them out of my head and organized, maybe I can get some sleep. To me, the angle in which he would witness the ceremony, whether it be standing up with us or sitting as a guest in front of us, makes no difference. EVERYONE in attendance is a witness!! Also, the ceremony has a "declaration of support from friends and family" (did I mention that he said he won't "object" during the ceremony?) Reasonably concluding, because he is not supportive enough to be a groomsman, how could he receive the charge of "family support for the marriage/couple?" So sitting or standing, he'd be a witness and he wont receive/agree with the declaration of support therefore in honoring HIS convictions, its best that we advice him not attend ceremony.

As far as reception, its a celebration! Simple: he can not celebrate something he doesnt agree with. In total, its best he does not attend at all. Besides, I dont want to look at his face just to be reminded of his judgement/condemnation.

As far as life beyond our wedding, how could I ever invite him into my "marital" home? These 2 scriptures are what he showed me and are the bases for his decison: Psalms 50:18 (" ...When you see a thief, you join with him; you throw in your lot with adulterers) and 1 Cor 6:9 (Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality..." If he "throws in" with us being that we are adulterers, he is an adulterer, therefore he also is not going to heaven.

He said he doesnt want to fragment our relations BUT (based on these scriptures) how could we even so much as invite him over for dinner? Never mind even the slightest association. He will be "throwing in" with us! Based on his own convictions, he CAN NOT! Right? So for him to say he doesnt want this to fragment us, he is selectively "walking" a Christian life!! To me, his decision has to be all or nothing so not to be a hypocrite. Yes? He cant take some scripture , judge us to a point that he also could go to hell if he is IN the wedding (guilt by association), pull out and not live the rest of his life by the other scripture pertaining to "adulterers!" He can not associate with us! If I "respect" his convictions and decision, then I am to disassociate. Technically, he is the one who should disassociate but I dont like helping people be hypocrites!

And unless my reasoning is off the wall, and I am hoping you will advice, this is what I will put forth to him! And tell him that I will love him from a distance (a safe one) and pray for him. BTW...my fiance is processing this all the same way.

Sorry if these scriptures offend anyone, it is not my intent, at all! I have only posted them to explain where my thoughts are coming from and do not mean to cause any harm or debate.

We are adulterers so brother dropped out of wedding!

Re: We are adulterers so brother dropped out of wedding!

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