Formality and Time of Day

CMGragain · April 2014

@HisGirlFriday, I meant no insult. In Iowa the Catholics often wore ripped jeans and tee shirts to Mass. I know, because my mother, who had an obsession with clothes, had many arguments with her step-children about dressing for Mass. The kids wanted to dress like everybody else. Mom refused to listen. Methodists girls wore dresses and heels.
Out here, I see older women dresses more formally, but younger parishoners in the jeans and tee shirts. (I took my friends' son, who was visiting us, to church a couple of times.) Things are definitely more casual in the west and mid-west.
Aren't you in NYC?

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

@CMGragain; nope, I'm in PA.

At my church, women are in skirts or dresses, men are in khakis and Oxfords, and the kids are miniature versions of the parents.

I think it depends less on denomination and more on geography and age. I find younger kids are more likely to dress formally.

KeepMovingOn · April 2014

CMGragain said:

@HisGirlFriday, I meant no insult. In Iowa the Catholics often wore ripped jeans and tee shirts to Mass. I know, because my mother, who had an obsession with clothes, had many arguments with her step-children about dressing for Mass. The kids wanted to dress like everybody else. Mom refused to listen. Methodists girls wore dresses and heels.
Out here, I see older women dresses more formally, but younger parishoners in the jeans and tee shirts. (I took my friends' son, who was visiting us, to church a couple of times.) Things are definitely more casual in the west and mid-west.
Aren't you in NYC?

Odd. I'm in the midwest. People go to Mass dressed nicely (you only really see jeans on a few people at Saturday night masses) and people at Protestant services are definitely dressed more casually (jeans and a polo for the guys, jeans and a blouse for the women). I say this as someone who was raised Catholic but began going to Protestant churches once I became an adult.

CMGragain · April 2014

Hm. Maybe it depends on the denomination. I think they dress more casually at some of the new style services than for traditional services. I'm traditional Methodist. Nobody cared what I wore until a few years ago because I had to wear a choir robe.
I do know that in Maryland there are some African-American oriented churches where the ladies still wear hats and gloves.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

I really hope God has more important things to do than worry about what people the world over are wearing to church. . .

lc07 · April 2014

@Inkdancer your venue is beautiful! I'm confused, though. Is it a church? I've never attended a church wedding where they "flip" the venue and hold the reception in the sanctuary. I have, however, attended a wedding in a building that used to be an Abbey so it had a church feel to it but it was no longer an actual church.

Regardless, based on what I can tell about your venue, my husband would wear a suit and tie and I would wear a conservative, non-flashy, knee length dress and heels to your wedding.

lovesclimbing · April 2014

CMGragain said:

jdluvr06 said:

Sometimes when I read these boards I get the feeling I'm the only one who would wear jeans to church (like going to church not a wedding). What I wear would depend on the venue. It is was nicer I would wear one of the black dresses I keep on hand for weddings. If it was more casual I would wear dress pants and a nice blouse.

Church wear does vary widely. Catholics trend to dress very casually. Protestants are usually more formal, but not always. Until I moved out west, I would not have worn pants to church. Now everyone does. (Better than those super short dresses they are trying to sell us!) I only see jeans on children in our church.

That's interesting that you think so. I would have guessed the exact opposite! Granted, I have never been to a Catholic service.

I do wear jeans to church frequently, but I always wear dressy/dark jeans and a nice top and nice shoes. I also will frequently wear skirts or dresses.

Inkdancer · April 2014

@lc07 The venue is a historic chapel that used to be owned by one of the local churches. As they expanded, they wanted to tear it down to make room for a larger, multistory building. A local architect instead bought the building and had it moved and restored. It is no longer affiliated with a church, which means that my pastor can officiate without stepping on anyone's toes. So it will be a religious ceremony, but not in a currently operating house of worship. (My current church does not have a building of our own--we rent a theater on Sundays. If we had a building, we would likely have chosen to hold the ceremony there.)

lc07 · April 2014

Inkdancer said:

@lc07 The venue is a historic chapel that used to be owned by one of the local churches. As they expanded, they wanted to tear it down to make room for a larger, multistory building. A local architect instead bought the building and had it moved and restored. It is no longer affiliated with a church, which means that my pastor can officiate without stepping on anyone's toes. So it will be a religious ceremony, but not in a currently operating house of worship. (My current church does not have a building of our own--we rent a theater on Sundays. If we had a building, we would likely have chosen to hold the ceremony there.)

That makes sense! It's a gorgeous venue and that's great that your pastor can officiate. Love it.

short+sassy · April 2014

And then I spent the rest of my day Googling Betty Draper dresses and wishing I could afford to buy vintage plus-size gowns.

Stuck in box:

Mod Cloth is an awesome web site for this style of 50s a-line kind of dresses. They are very affordable ($30-$60) and come in a variety of sizes, including plus. Not just a few of the dresses, but almost all their dresses are available in plus sizes.

Inkdancer · April 2014

short+sassy said:

And then I spent the rest of my day Googling Betty Draper dresses and wishing I could afford to buy vintage plus-size gowns.

Stuck in box:

Mod Cloth is an awesome web site for this style of 50s a-line kind of dresses. They are very affordable ($30-$60) and come in a variety of sizes, including plus. Not just a few of the dresses, but almost all their dresses are available in plus sizes.

I love ModCloth but I have never seen a dress on there that I both like and can afford. Maybe their prices have come down recently, but everything I've looked at has been $75-150.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

Inkdancer said:

short+sassy said:

And then I spent the rest of my day Googling Betty Draper dresses and wishing I could afford to buy vintage plus-size gowns.

Stuck in box:

Mod Cloth is an awesome web site for this style of 50s a-line kind of dresses. They are very affordable ($30-$60) and come in a variety of sizes, including plus. Not just a few of the dresses, but almost all their dresses are available in plus sizes.

I love ModCloth but I have never seen a dress on there that I both like and can afford. Maybe their prices have come down recently, but everything I've looked at has been $75-150.

Yeah many of their dresses are overpriced, imo, and in that range. But there are many that are lower too.

grumbledore · April 2014

jdluvr06 said:

Sometimes when I read these boards I get the feeling I'm the only one who would wear jeans to church (like going to church not a wedding). What I wear would depend on the venue. It is was nicer I would wear one of the black dresses I keep on hand for weddings. If it was more casual I would wear dress pants and a nice blouse.

I wear jeans to church sometimes, but we're Unitarian Universalists, so who knows lol. I wouldn't ever dream of wearing jeans to someone else's church unless I was explicitly told it was expected, and I would never ever ever wear jeans to any wedding I don't care where it's taking place.

carliealissa · April 2014

I think it just depends on the specific church. I'm in the midwest. We went to a Catholic Church across the street from our neighborhood and it was very dressy. Then we switched to another Catholic Church in a nearby, more blue-collar town. Most people there wear jeans.

ashleyep · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

@CMGragain; nope, I'm in PA. At my church, women are in skirts or dresses, men are in khakis and Oxfords, and the kids are miniature versions of the parents. I think it depends less on denomination and more on geography and age. I find younger kids are more likely to dress formally.

Lots of jeans at the catholic churches I've gone to in MA, even on the holidays.

csuave · April 2014

I have been to Catholic and Lutheran churches in the suburbs of Detroit, Cleveland and Pittsburgh. Based on what I have seen for typical Sunday services the majority of Catholics wear jeans/are more casual and the majority of (not all) the Lutherans wear business casual (not jeans) and dressier clothes.

Interesting to see the observations in the other posts and how some are different than my experience.

Outside of church, funerals and weddings the other place I personally consider jeans to be too informal is the traditional big theater. Now I think that might be regional since jeans are rare at the big theaters in Pittsburgh but NYC I saw a lot of people wearing jeans to shows.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

csuave said:

I have been to Catholic and Lutheran churches in the suburbs of Detroit, Cleveland and Pittsburgh. Based on what I have seen for typical Sunday services the majority of Catholics wear jeans/are more casual and the majority of (not all) the Lutherans wear business casual (not jeans) and dressier clothes.

Interesting to see the observations in the other posts and how some are different than my experience.

Outside of church, funerals and weddings the other place I personally consider jeans to be too informal is the traditional big theater. Now I think that might be regional since jeans are rare at the big theaters in Pittsburgh but NYC I saw a lot of people wearing jeans to shows.

*buzzer sound* Sorry, wrong! I am constantly amazed at how many people wear jeans and even worse to evening shows in our Cultural District. My friends and family and I always dress up to go to those events, just how we were raised, but many, many Yinzer do not.

Pittsburghers also have this really rude habit of treating theatrical performances as if they were sporting events and leaving en mass as soon as the curtain drops. "OMG we gotta leave, gotta beat all of the traffic!" *eyeroll*

As far as jeans in church- yep I have worn them. I wear nicer, darker jeans and business casual or business type attire, but I don't view church as a formal event like an evening theater performance. Partly because most ppl don't dress to the 9's with hat and gloves to go to area churches, and also partly because God isn't a member of the TK E board and isn't going to notice or care what I am wearing :-P

I could be dressed to kill at mass and still be an asshole in my daily life, KWIM?

Sugargirl1019 · April 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

As far as jeans in church- yep I have worn them. I wear nicer, darker jeans and business casual or business type attire, but I don't view church as a formal event like an evening theater performance. Partly because most ppl don't dress to the 9's with hat and gloves to go to area churches, and also partly because God isn't a member of the TK E board and isn't going to notice or care what I am wearing :-P

I could be dressed to kill at mass and
still be an asshole in my daily life, KWIM?

ETA: boxes are stupid

God isn't a bridezilla paying attention to who wore what at the ceremony

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