Cake Smash: Yes this needs a new thread

Re: Cake Smash: Yes this needs a new thread

• lyndausvi mod

  

  April 2014

  NYCBruin said:

  lyndausvi said:

  As long as the couple is an agreement I don't care at all. We didn't, mostly because we are not ones to waste good cake.

  
  

   At my sister's wedding the photographer had me (MOH) and the BM stand up with sister and BIL for a photo opt. Has he snapped the shot my sister turned to me and BIL to his BM and smashed the cake on our faces. Lucky for me I'm 8 inches taller than sis, so I didn't get it too bad. BIL got his BM good.

  
  

   I was a good sport about it. 14 years later my sister stood, far, far away from the cake table at our wedding.

  
  

   ETA - I'm in no paragraph mode.

  Ummm....what?!?!  

  
  

  As to the original question: I hate cake smashing and think it's stupid, immature and worst of all a waste of perfectly good cake.  FI agrees and we won't be doing it.  That said, so long as the couple's cool with it, whatever.  Who am I to judge?

  Yep.  They didn't want to smash it their own faces and decided to do it to ours.

  
  

  This is a know your crowd thing.    The BIL and BM are know for doing practical jokes to each other.     I'm pretty laid-back, easy going, never replies my makeup anyway type of person.  So it was all good.   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• sarawifenow member

  

  April 2014

  So this isn't exactly on topic...

  I went to a wedding recently where the BM got totally plowed on the way to the reception site (only 25 min from the ceremony) and thought it would be a great idea to take the groom's face and smash it INTO the cake. Well, my friends, there were toothpicks in said cake. That did not go over well.

  Back to the topic, I would NEVER do this personally and think it is tacky when done, but abuse? No.

  

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• emmyg65 member

  

  April 2014

  I don't care about getting the dress dirty (we served our cake ourselves and I got it all over my dress). Cake smashing is just not my thing. Sometimes it's kinda cute or silly, but I've seen it get completely out of hand, to the point that you wondered whether it hinted at something sour in the relationship. 

  
  

  We didn't plan to feed each other because yeah, it's weird. But once we cut the cake, guests started clamoring for it. Seemed like it'd be more of a big deal to refuse than to just do it. And actually, we got a few super cute pictures out of it.

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• kitty8403 member

  

  April 2014

  I can see the argument that it's disrespectful if one member doesn't want to participate. I think my general discomfort with it is that it feels like watching major PDA. With frosting.
  FI and I have zero problem kicking each other's butts at silly games or having little moments of totally fun immaturity. But those should be private moments, not how we behave in public.

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• grumbledore member

  

  April 2014

  DragonBlood13 said:

  So people honestly are offended by the cake smash enough to consider it borderline abuse?  

  
  

  We need to talk about this.

  No, but I do think it's stupid.

  
  

  

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• short+sassy member

  

  April 2014

  My DH and I both don't like the tradition and agreed not to do it.  When the time came, I didn't even want to touch the cake with my bare hands and so we used forks to feed each other.

  But then after the cake had been cut up and we were no longer completely the center of attention.  My DH gave me a playful grin and said, "Can I PLEASE just put a dab of frosting on your nose?"  That I was fine with and thought it was a cute moment .

  

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• Inkdancer member

  

  April 2014

  I hate cake smashing. I hate feeling dirty, hate having food on me, and get very anxious and awkward in social situations. When my uncle put my hands in my birthday cake as a baby I screamed... I've always preferred eating cake to wearing it!
  
  I told FI that he would be in trouble if he mashes cake in my face, because it will make me cry. He is allowed to put a dab of frosting on my nose, because that makes him happy and is easy to remove. But that is it.
  
  But hey, if the couple doesn't mind and there's cake left for me to eat, they can do whatever they want.
  

  

  

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• MGP member

  

  April 2014 edited April 2014

  Personally I think it is immature and trashy. And because things like this happen. I seriously doubt this couple is still married. PS - how can TK not form paragraphs for iPad users but can imbed You Tube clips? Just saying. . . http://youtu.be/6Tq_NdZGu4A

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• sofakingmad member

  

  April 2014

  grumbledore said:

  DragonBlood13 said:

  So people honestly are offended by the cake smash enough to consider it borderline abuse?  

  
  

  We need to talk about this.

  No, but I do think it's stupid.

  And that is perfectly acceptable.  

  
  

  
  

  

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• 2leadsingers member

  

  April 2014

  Inkdancer said:

  I hate cake smashing. I hate feeling dirty, hate having food on me, and get very anxious and awkward in social situations. When my uncle put my hands in my birthday cake as a baby I screamed... I've always preferred eating cake to wearing it!
  
  I told FI that he would be in trouble if he mashes cake in my face, because it will make me cry. He is allowed to put a dab of frosting on my nose, because that makes him happy and is easy to remove. But that is it.
  
  But hey, if the couple doesn't mind and there's cake left for me to eat, they can do whatever they want.
  

  I think the dab on the nose is playful enough. I probably wouldn't mind that as we are pretty playful in and out of public and that wouldn't ruin makeup. Did think about playfully getting cake on our kids though, who will be 10, 13, and 4 by the date of the wedding. 

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• grumbledore member

  

  April 2014

  DragonBlood13 said:

  grumbledore said:

  DragonBlood13 said:

  So people honestly are offended by the cake smash enough to consider it borderline abuse?  

  
  

  We need to talk about this.

  No, but I do think it's stupid.

  And that is perfectly acceptable.  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  I wouldn't judge a couple for choosing to do it.  It's just not my style and I wouldn't be caught dead.

  
  

  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  April 2014 edited April 2014

  Too funny.  Random - my dad's b-day is coming up and I'm currently (as in right now in between posts) looking over old pictures for picture CPs I'm making for his surprise party.

  
  

  What did I just come across?   A picture of my parents smashing cake in each other's faces at their 25th anniversary party.  They got each other pretty good.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• Couggal12 member

  

  April 2014

  I don't find it abusive at all. I do find it unacceptable/rude if your partner specifically says they do not want cake smashed in their face and the other person does it anyway. I don't want cake all over my face and neither does my FI so we are going to skip this.

  

  
  

  
  

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• Cookie Pusher member

  

  April 2014

  I'm not a fan of it. I'm not a fan of cake in general since I don't properly process sweet tastes. I would hate to be WEARING a food that I don't like. I mean, how many of us would find it cute if someone rubbed anchovies on someone's face if they really didn't like anchovies? FI isn't into the cake smash either as he'd prefer to eat all the cake. I did warn him that if someone tried to talk him into putting cake on my face, I'd be putting cake down his pants.

  ~*~*~*~*~

  
  

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• pinkshorts27 member

  

  April 2014

  MGP said:

  Personally I think it is immature and trashy. And because things like this happen. I seriously doubt this couple is still married. PS - how can TK not form paragraphs for iPad users but can imbed You Tube clips? Just saying. . . http://youtu.be/6Tq_NdZGu4A

  Uh yea. She ended up on the ground and bleeding. Fuck no.

  
  

  

  
  

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• flyingfoxes member

  

  April 2014

  That video is horrible!  That guy would be having a long, cold, celibate honeymoon after doing that. 

  
  
  
  

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• ohmrs2014 mod

  

  April 2014

  I only did it because while cutting the cake, husband said to me "my family is apparently expecting it, lets not let them down."  So I mushed a little in his face, on his nose and mouth, nothing to extravagant.  I don't like it, but hey, he said it was ok to entertain his family LOL.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• KeptInStitches member

  

  April 2014

  No cake smashing for me. I view it as disrespectful and a waste of good cake.

  
  

  And anyone coming at me with 10" cake slicer had better be fully prepared to have the damn marriage annuled, especially if I bleed.

  

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• a13049 member

  

  April 2014

  I totally get a bride not wanting to have cake smooshed in her face, or on her dress.  But to be offended when someone else is doing in cutesy and playfully, puh-lease.  There are a lot of things about weddings I find stupid, so if someone finds the cake smashing stupid I can understand that also.  Abusive,? offensive? No

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• NYCBruin member

  

  April 2014

  

  Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  April 2014

  @MGP, that video was terrifying. That I would consider abusive, because he went after her when she was on the damn ground FFS.

  
  

  On balance, I think cake-smashing is juvenile, immature, stupid, and obnoxious, as well as vaguely hostile.

  
  

  I wouldn't leave a reception because of it, but I would definitely look at it askance and be like, 'Really? If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough not to have a damn food fight at your reception.'

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• sarahufl member

  

  April 2014

  HisGirlFriday13 said:

  @MGP, that video was terrifying. That I would consider abusive, because he went after her when she was on the damn ground FFS.

  
  

  On balance, I think cake-smashing is juvenile, immature, stupid, and obnoxious, as well as vaguely hostile.

  
  

  I wouldn't leave a reception because of it, but I would definitely look at it askance and be like, 'Really? If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough not to have a damn food fight at your reception.'

  I can't even finish this video it is making me so uncomfortable.
  

  
  

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• MGP member

  

  April 2014

  sarahufl said:

  HisGirlFriday13 said:

  @MGP, that video was terrifying. That I would consider abusive, because he went after her when she was on the damn ground FFS.

  
  

  On balance, I think cake-smashing is juvenile, immature, stupid, and obnoxious, as well as vaguely hostile.

  
  

  I wouldn't leave a reception because of it, but I would definitely look at it askance and be like, 'Really? If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough not to have a damn food fight at your reception.'

  I can't even finish this video it is making me so uncomfortable.
  

  I'll finish it for you.  She bleeds, and the groom stands there like an asshat and says "I'm in trouble".  Yeah, you think?

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  April 2014 edited April 2014

  DragonBlood13 said:

  So people honestly are offended by the cake smash enough to consider it borderline abuse?  

  
  

  We need to talk about this.

  I'm not offended when other couples do it, nor do I find it abusive, per se.  I just think it's tacky and juvenile.
  
  I think it's really rude and disrespectful if one person has stated they do not want to do it or have it done to them, and the other person goes against their wishes.
  
  BTW, I guess I never pay enough attention to the cake cuttings to realize that the B&G feed each other? Hmm, that's kinda awkward. . . I don't really want to do that, lol.
  
  @DragonBlood13. .. did you find an old thread where this was discussed?
  
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• sofakingmad member

  

  April 2014

  I think we can all agree that the video posted is not what we are talking about here.

  
  

  Also, my friends recently had a party where they covered the entire inside of their condo in tarp and had a 30 person food fight.

  
  

  
  

  

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• sofakingmad member

  

  April 2014

  PrettyGirlLost said:

  DragonBlood13 said:

  So people honestly are offended by the cake smash enough to consider it borderline abuse?  

  
  

  We need to talk about this.

  I'm not offended when other couples do it, nor do I find it abusive, per se.  I just think it's tacky and juvenile.
  
  I think it's really rude and disrespectful if one person has stated they do not want to do it or have it done to them, and the other person goes against their wishes.
  
  BTW, I guess I never pay enough attention to the cake cuttings to realize that the B&G feed each other? Hmm, that's kinda awkward. . . I don't really want to do that, lol.
  
  @DragonBlood13. .. did you find an old thread where this was discussed?
  
  

  It was mentioned in the Etiquette Deal Breakers thread.

  

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• a13049 member

  

  April 2014 edited April 2014

  DragonBlood13 said:

  I think we can all agree that the video posted is not what we are talking about here.

  
  

  Also, my friends recently had a party where they covered the entire inside of their condo in tarp and had a 30 person food fight.

  
  

  
  

  I love it. I have an artist friend that just bought a new studio.  It was all white and perfect and clean looking.  It drove her BSC so we had a paint party in one of the back rooms. Water balloons filled wiht paint. She says its her favorite spot, and we had a blast.  Sometimes juvenile and immature can be harmless and fun.  NOw, if someone ripped ass while they were feeding eachother the cake, then I would be offended and think they were tacky and immature. 
  

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• doeydo member

  

  April 2014

  I hate it.  I would be livid if my FI did that to me.  It is not funny and comes across as "I hate you a little bit" IMO.

  
  

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• CheleLyn member

  

  April 2014

  I told J cake in the face is the ONE thing that will piss me off and make the entire evening miserable for me. I don't think it's funny or cute and I damn sure do NOT want cake or icing on an expensive dress. I've even said if one of his smart ass friends does it (which is entirely possible) then HE will be the one to deal with me after. The very least he can do is respect my feelings on this and make sure his friends know how I feel about it. Of course, fmil said that his friends are the kind that if you tell them no they'll do it to spite you. I swear to all things holy, I will come 25 ways of undone if  ANYONE tries to smash cake in my face.

  
  

  This is actually something that causes me anxiety 

  ~*~June 21, 2014~*~

  
  

  
  

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• wrigleyville member

  

  April 2014

  Other than the whole bleeding thing, the other part of the video that made me sad/horrified was her voice when she said, "That was our year anniversary cake, honey, and you ruined it." She sounded like she was crying. I don't blame her for pushing him away when he tried to help clean her face. What an asshole.

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