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Cake Smash: Yes this needs a new thread

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Re: Cake Smash: Yes this needs a new thread

  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    DragonBlood13 said:


    PrettyGirlLost said:


    DragonBlood13 said:

    So people honestly are offended by the cake smash enough to consider it borderline abuse?  

    We need to talk about this.

    I'm not offended when other couples do it, nor do I find it abusive, per se.  I just think it's tacky and juvenile.

    I think it's really rude and disrespectful if one person has stated they do not want to do it or have it done to them, and the other person goes against their wishes.

    BTW, I guess I never pay enough attention to the cake cuttings to realize that the B&G feed each other? Hmm, that's kinda awkward. . . I don't really want to do that, lol.

    @DragonBlood13. .. did you find an old thread where this was discussed?


    It was mentioned in the Etiquette Deal Breakers thread.

    Oh sheesh that's silly! As a guest at another person's wedding I don't care what you do to each other. . .Just stay the hell away from me with that cake!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • doeydodoeydo member
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idD1XE4A6R8  Yeah...
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  • CheleLynCheleLyn member
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    edited April 2014
    DP
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  • MGPMGP member
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    wrigleyville said:
    Other than the whole bleeding thing, the other part of the video that made me sad/horrified was her voice when she said, "That was our year anniversary cake, honey, and you ruined it." She sounded like she was crying. I don't blame her for pushing him away when he tried to help clean her face. What an asshole.

    The reason he cut her is because he put the (serrated) cake server in between her face and the top tier before he smushed it. Who does that?? He just looked very aggressive to me and took it too far. A little icing smear on the nose? Immature but tolerable. This video? Sad. Seriously I bet they are no longer together.
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  • ArtemischiefArtemischief member
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    At a wedding I went to the bride smashed cake in the groom's face after he told her multiple times not to. He wrestled her to the ground in front of everyone and then walked away.
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  • carliealissacarliealissa member
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    If the couple wants to smash cake, by all means go for it.  But if one partner has explicitly expressed to the other that they do NOT want cake smashed in their face, and the person does it anyway, I'm alarmed that most of you don't consider that an abusive act.

     

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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    It's cake abuse. That's perfectly good cake who never hurt anyone and just wants to be eaten and enjoyed and it's getting shoved into someone's face. Poor cake.

    We aren't planning on doing it but I don't mind it at other people's weddings. I mean aside from the two youtube clips posted cause that shit was just evil. 

    At a friend's wedding the DJ kept egging the couple on, when groom went to feed the bride he asked the crowd "Should he do it nice or mean?" and before we could respond he gave his new wife a bite of cake nicely. Then she went to feed him and the DJ started in again but this time his buddies joined in so he grabbed a napkin toss on over his shirt and gave her a smile and small nod. She did the smallest cake smash I've ever seen and mostly just smeared some frosting on his face, which he wiped of with his thumb tasted and said was yummy. They hadn't planned a cake smash and she later told FI that they had a lot of problems with the things the DJ wanted them to do. Like tying up the groom and having him get the garter with his teeth. 
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  • a13049a13049 member
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    carliealissa said:

    If the couple wants to smash cake, by all means go for it.  But if one partner has explicitly expressed to the other that they do NOT want cake smashed in their face, and the person does it anyway, I'm alarmed that most of you don't consider that an abusive act.

    I think you haven't read the comments clearly. Most people have stated, whether they are pro or against cake smashing that both parties being ok with it is important. I would be upset and feel disrespected if if did this and I asked him not to. I would not feel abused.

    The debate came from another thread on what ettiquette faux pas would be a deal breaker on attending someone else's wedding. A poster said the cake smashing by the bride and groom is offensive to her.
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  • CheleLynCheleLyn member
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    MagicInk said:
    It's cake abuse. That's perfectly good cake who never hurt anyone and just wants to be eaten and enjoyed and it's getting shoved into someone's face. Poor cake.

    We aren't planning on doing it but I don't mind it at other people's weddings. I mean aside from the two youtube clips posted cause that shit was just evil. 

    At a friend's wedding the DJ kept egging the couple on, when groom went to feed the bride he asked the crowd "Should he do it nice or mean?" and before we could respond he gave his new wife a bite of cake nicely. Then she went to feed him and the DJ started in again but this time his buddies joined in so he grabbed a napkin toss on over his shirt and gave her a smile and small nod. She did the smallest cake smash I've ever seen and mostly just smeared some frosting on his face, which he wiped of with his thumb tasted and said was yummy. They hadn't planned a cake smash and she later told FI that they had a lot of problems with the things the DJ wanted them to do. Like tying up the groom and having him get the garter with his teeth. 
    I just can't even imagine!
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  • jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
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    DragonBlood13 said:
    I think we can all agree that the video posted is not what we are talking about here.

    Also, my friends recently had a party where they covered the entire inside of their condo in tarp and had a 30 person food fight.



    OMG I love it.
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  • sofakingmadsofakingmad member
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    Ok, I will admit that the two videos that were posted are definitely definitely crossing the line and I have never in my life ever seen or heard of that ever happening.
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
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    ohannabelle said: I had a friend who had specifically said that she didn't want this. She found it stupid, immature, and embarrassing. She didn't want to look like a dumbass in front of her family and guests. And yep, the groom did it anyway, and it was really effing disrespectful and unkind, and she did her best to maintain and smile, but there was no doubt that she was fighting tears. And yes, I would call that level of disrespect and disregard emotionally abusive.
    Forget maintaining and smiling. If H had done that to me, after specifically asking him not to and listing my reasons why, I would have walked out the door and taken my MOH on the honeymoon trip. I am not even joking.

    I told him this before our wedding, even though he's not the type of person who would ever do that to me. I just felt a need to be CRYSTAL clear on the subject.

    I don't like getting messy, so we used forks to feed each other. We also did it one at a time, to be extra sure our forks didn't crash into each other or stab each other in the face while camera flashes blinded us.
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  • jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
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    DragonBlood13 said: Yes it came from the other thread because I have never ever heard of it compared to abuse.
    Also, in my experience, the only smashes have come from b&gs who obviously thought it was funny.  I have never seen anyone get angry about it.  Normally it's SMASH and then a smashy cake face kiss with lots of laughing.  



    I can remember two instances in which the bride clearly did not see it coming. It was not funny in those cases. One bride luckily just got smeared around, the other had a full blown smash. She looked close to tears. 

    Edited because TK formatting sucks. 

    I had a friend who had specifically said that she didn't want this. She found it stupid, immature, and embarrassing. She didn't want to look like a dumbass in front of her family and guests. And yep, the groom did it anyway, and it was really effing disrespectful and unkind, and she did her best to maintain and smile, but there was no doubt that she was fighting tears. And yes, I would call that level of disrespect and disregard emotionally abusive. It is different when both parties don't want it but if both people are ok with it then I don't think there is a problem with it.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
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    I worked at a wedding venue when the bride smashed the piece of cake in the groom's face. It got all over his glasses and he was pissed. He took off in the limo.

    Do you guys remember that bride who came on here asking for ideas on how to trick the MOH? She wanted to SURPRISE! The MOH and smash the cake in her face instead of the groom's. Because it would be soooo funny. And when she didn't get the validation she wanted, she ran to WW or WB for support.
    I think that's worse.... Tricking someone with cake in their face.

    Personally, I think the cake smash is trashy an seriously immature. To each their own, though.
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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
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    I don't think it's abusive. I'm as playful as they get but if that mofo gets cake on my face after spending all day and all that money to look nice him???


    You best believe larrygaga is going bonkers.
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
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    That clip posted was featured on a TV show that SO and I were watching a week or two ago, and I was sooo relieved that he was the one to say "That's so stupid. Why would you do that??" I, too, actually have serious albeit maybe irrational anxiety about this.

    I think cake cutting in general is silly, though. There's nothing exciting to me about the prospect of everybody gathering around to watch two people stick a knife in a cake. That's hardly the most romantic, exciting thing to witness being done for the first time by the couple.
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  • jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
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    AddieCake said:
    I think it's only disrespectful if you've expressed you don't want it. I do find it kind of a lame thing to do, though. 

    Several people have said the same thing in this thread, so I hope my saying it again isn't PILING ON. (Sorry. I am having a hard time letting that go.)

    And IPAD users, if you click the icon with the red arrows on it, you can do paragraphs. 
    Thank you!!! I couldn't for the life of me figure out to get paragraphs!!
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Me, either. Somebody else posted about it recently and saved the day, though!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • ladyamanuetladyamanuet member
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    I think it's passive aggressive - like it's an excuse to get out frustrations at the other person. Why do you want to SMASH something in your new partner's face? A little frosting on the nose that is kissed off - sure, I've seen that be really cute.  But smashing? If both people agreed to it, it just makes me realise that they are immature and a little lame.  If one expressly said NO and it is done by the other anyway, that to me could be bordering on emotional abuse, depending on other factors in the relationship. 

    But it certainly doesn't offend me and I wouldn't leave a wedding because of it.  I'm usually a little tipsy by then anyway, so I mostly don't even pay attention ;)
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  • LadyMillilLadyMillil member
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    I don't like the cake smash, but if the couple wants to do it, it doesn't bother me. I don't find it cute or funny, just really weird. 

    I had to explain to DH what to do during the cake cutting because he never pays attention to things like that at weddings. I left out a cake smash because I did not want cake on my face. 
    At the wedding, we cut the cake and go to feed each other. Some of our guests started yelling "cake smash, cake smash". DH asked me what they meant, and I told him they wanted us to smush the cake on each others' face. His response "why the hell would we do that" 

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    Simply Fated said:
    I worked at a wedding venue when the bride smashed the piece of cake in the groom's face. It got all over his glasses and he was pissed. He took off in the limo. Do you guys remember that bride who came on here asking for ideas on how to trick the MOH? She wanted to SURPRISE! The MOH and smash the cake in her face instead of the groom's. Because it would be soooo funny. And when she didn't get the validation she wanted, she ran to WW or WB for support. I think that's worse.... Tricking someone with cake in their face. Personally, I think the cake smash is trashy an seriously immature. To each their own, though.
    If anyone did that to me I'd take them by the back of their hair and plant their face into the entire cake.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • ashley8918ashley8918 member
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    AddieCake said:
    I think it's only disrespectful if you've expressed you don't want it. I do find it kind of a lame thing to do, though. 

    Several people have said the same thing in this thread, so I hope my saying it again isn't PILING ON. (Sorry. I am having a hard time letting that go.)

    And IPAD users, if you click the icon with the red arrows on it, you can do paragraphs. 
    Was there some sort of incident in regards to "piling on"? I keep seeing people mention this but I don't understand the reference.
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  • phiraphira member
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    The point of cutting the cake is actually similar to the first dance. Guest of honor (the person for whom the party is being thrown) is supposed to start off the dancing, and is supposed to cut their own cake (or at least make the first cut).

    At my old job, we always got cakes for people's birthdays, and it was a given that whoever was the birthday dude/lady would cut the cake.
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  • phiraphira member
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    HisGirlFriday13 said:
    The point of cutting the cake is actually similar to the first dance. Guest of honor (the person for whom the party is being thrown) is supposed to start off the dancing, and is supposed to cut their own cake (or at least make the first cut).

    At my old job, we always got cakes for people's birthdays, and it was a given that whoever was the birthday dude/lady would cut the cake.
    This is how my family operates, but therected is an age threshold. My soon-to-be-three-year-old nephew is NOT allowed to cut the cake for his own birthday (yet.) And I'm not allowed to ever because ONE TIME I accidentally cut my finger and I have never heard the end of it. I didn't even bleed on the cake.
    We're actually thinking of skipping the cake cutting because I am SO BAD at it.
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