Wedding Evites

DaisyMaeMommy · April 2014

When did online wedding invitations become a thing??

[Deleted User] · April 2014

Since we starting having grownups that don't know what corner of an envelope to put a stamp or that a zip code is necessary for sending a letter in the mail.

Sugargirl1019 · April 2014

Since schools are no longer teaching cursive.

But really, Evites are so lazy for such a momentous day!

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

I have gotten a facebook invite for a wedding and no thank-you note.

Been 3 years and I still thought it was tacky.

doeydo · April 2014

I love your Courage the Cowardly Dog avatar, OP.

Sugargirl1019 · April 2014

blueeyes90 said:
I have gotten a facebook invite for a wedding and no thank-you note. Been 3 years and I still thought it was tacky.

I got one too about 2 months ago! I was shocked. Like I was grouped into " we went to HS together" and therefore everyone from that graduating class got an evite. Despite us living all over the country now. It was so so weird. Decline!

DaisyMaeMommy · April 2014

doeydo said:

I love your Courage the Cowardly Dog avatar, OP.

Thank you!

I saw a lady on WW looking into evites for pre-wedding activities, and I looked up online wedding invites and WOW!!!

Sugargirl1019 · April 2014

I prefer actual mailed invitations regardless of the event.. But I can see how an evite to a rehearsal dinner is okay. I guess. If the grooms family is hosting, they really aren't that proud of hosting their out of town guests, IMO.

thesummersky · April 2014

There are a few reasons:

Some people assume that, since their primary method of communication is via the internet, it is the same for everyone else.
Many haven't been to formal events where paper invites were given. It could be the same for their parents or guardians. Thus, they've never learned these things.
When trying to cut costs, many may see paper invites as an unnecessary expense when they see alternatives.

That said, I think paper invites are proper. They don't have to be expensive, either - but if you don't know, then you don't know, ya know? I'm not justifying anyone's actions; I'm just trying to share another perspective.

SP29 · April 2014

I feel there are many reasons why...

A) Most people communicate via e-mail and text message- everything in our world is becoming electronic, bills hardly come in the mail anymore (which I actually love)

School has also changed from teaching cursive writing to everything being on the computer. I was flabbergasted when I learned that my youngest brother was never taught cursive- how are you supposed to sign your name on a legal document!

C) Many people do not host formal events. Social etiquette has gone by the way-side. No ones fault, and it's not always a bad thing (there are some social norms from decades before that have happily fallen aside- I will wear my diamonds and my watch whenever I please!). But if it's never taught and passed down generations, it never remains.

I also prefer paper for formal events.

jdluvr06 · April 2014

I think it is because we are becoming a more technology centered world. I'm super guilty of this. FI and I only check our mail box once a week because we do everything electronically and we don't get anything important in the mail. I didn't get my cousin's wedding invitation for a month because FI and I forgot to check the mail. I didn't realize until she called to see if we were going to come. ETA: I'm more likely to do an online RSVP or call to RSVP than to send the card back too. I never go to a mail box and it would be something I would easily forget about.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

Evites are acceptable for casual events only. If you want your guests to treat your wedding like a casual come-and-go party, by all means, have an evite.

Otherwise, send real invites.

CMGragain · April 2014

They may be a "thing", but they are not proper for weddings.

a13049 · April 2014

Meh I have only recieved one evite for a wedding and it was a small destination wedding of 8. I didn't feel any less informed. I think it's a long ways down the road, but this will be the norm one day

phira · April 2014

I don't care. Really. Especially since there are really nice evite options around (like Glo or Paperless Post).

Assuming all of the proper conventions are followed with the evites (for example, including significant others, which is easy to do with Paperless Post, for example), then I see no difference between an invitation arriving in my physical mailbox and an invitation arriving in my electronic mailbox.

chibiyui · April 2014

I prefer paper invites. I would side-eye evites on a case by case basis.

AussieCat42 · April 2014

I know a few couples who were very dedicated to sustainable and reducing waste - evites really seemed appropriate for their weddings. I don't think anyone misinterpreted the formality of their events.

jalyndani · April 2014

I sent email Save the Dates to family only in order to save a little cash, and during my search I came across some really nice wedding evites. As in they used formal wording, script fonts, traditional formal formatting, and some were even "animated"- the recipient would click on an image of an envelope in the email and it would show the envelope being opened and the invitation sliding out before becoming full-screen. They were pretty cool actually.

However, with all the people in this world who are still computer-illiterate, and with all the problems that some email host servers have with differentiating spam from legitimate mail, I would never trust a wedding evite. I panicked every single day that some family didn't get their StD because it may have gotten kicked to their spam folder with so many recipients listed. There's too much room for error with an evite for such an important event that requires an RSVP.

lyndausvi · April 2014

phira said:

I don't care. Really. Especially since there are really nice evite options around (like Glo or Paperless Post).

Assuming all of the proper conventions are followed with the evites (for example, including significant others, which is easy to do with Paperless Post, for example), then I see no difference between an invitation arriving in my physical mailbox and an invitation arriving in my electronic mailbox.

I refuse to open up evites. My aunt's email was hacked and they sent out evites. I saw her name, opened up the email. Got a virus. What a PITA. Since then (a few years ago) I refuse to open an type of evite or ecard. They (and any email not in my contact list) goes directly to my junk mail then deleted after a week or so.

Oh and my husband never checks his regular email. He does check his work one, but doesn't normally give that out for personal reasons. He is so bad I don't even bother sending him things anymore.

Point is if you send us an evite were not going to even know it was even there. I do pick up my paper mail pretty regularly. Not that I get much paper mail, but I do check them often.

DaisyMaeMommy · April 2014

I'd prefer a paper invite.

phira · April 2014

lyndausvi said:

phira said:

I don't care. Really. Especially since there are really nice evite options around (like Glo or Paperless Post).

Assuming all of the proper conventions are followed with the evites (for example, including significant others, which is easy to do with Paperless Post, for example), then I see no difference between an invitation arriving in my physical mailbox and an invitation arriving in my electronic mailbox.

I refuse to open up evites. My aunt's email was hacked and they sent out evites. I saw her name, opened up the email. Got a virus. What a PITA. Since then (a few years ago) I refuse to open an type of evite or ecard. They (and any email not in my contact list) goes directly to my junk mail then deleted after a week or so.

Oh and my husband never checks his regular email. He does check his work one, but doesn't normally give that out for personal reasons. He is so bad I don't even bother sending him things anymore.

Point is if you send us an evite were not going to even know it was even there. I do pick up my paper mail pretty regularly. Not that I get much paper mail, but I do check them often.

We open our paper mail every day. I just usually communicate with people through email.

I also think a lot of it has to do with what people are used to. We're not sending Paperless Post invitations for our wedding because many of our older relatives (although definitely not all of them) do not check their email regularly. However, I'm pretty much connected to my email (work and personal--I have a master inbox for all my email) 24/7, as is my partner. So are our parents, most of our siblings, and the majority of our friends and cousins. And we do evites for a lot of events (birthday parties, my godmother's annual tea party, etc).

I think that eventually, we're going to see a shift towards evites anyway. I think at least Glo (not sure about Paperless Post) gives you the option to send evites to most of the guests and paper invitations to some guests. So, if you were a guest at my wedding, I could send you an invite in the mail, and matching evites would go to other guests.

missnc77 · April 2014

I used paperless post for our rehearsal dinner invites. We could have just done word of mouth (which we are also doing), but I wanted to give everyone a one-stop shop way to get information. I just didn't really see why it was necessary to pay for yet another paper invite and rsvp card to send them right after mailing them the wedding invitation. I also think paperless post looks pretty classy and is a step up from evite.com. I still had to pay paperless post for the invite email I designed, and their behind the scenes tracking of rsvps is really nice - all the way down to if it was actually opened.

Many of these people aren't in our wedding, we just want to treat them to a nice dinner the night before the wedding. If someone is offended I'm inviting them to our rehearsal dinner via paperless post, then so be it. I'm just trying to treat them to a good meal.

lyndausvi · April 2014

I'm not offended by paperless invitations. I'm just stating it's unlikely I will know it was even sent.

missnc77 · April 2014

That's fine. I would love you enough to follow up if I didn't hear back from you!

And I'd also know from the paperless post tracker that you didn't open it.

SmileDamnit · April 2014

I love Paperless Post. I've not yet used them for any of our gatherings, but have gotten invites to other parties (no weddings, though) via PP and have always thought they were darling.

rsbloom · April 2014

I don't mind e-STD or e-RSVPs, but I think you can manage to send out paper invites for the actual wedding invitations. I also know multiple stores that offer recycled paper, seed paper, etc, for couples who want to be more eco-friendly.

vulpiepop · April 2014

Wouldn't be offended or anything if I got an e-vite (I've gotten a couple), but I'd be less inclined to dress for a formal event. Paper is more formal and won't get lost in my e-mail when I get bombarded with spam or e-mails from friends and family or work. I'm more likely to forget the date if I got an e-vite too rather than something I can actually touch like paper.

rajahmd · April 2014

jdluvr06 said:
I think it is because we are becoming a more technology centered world. I'm super guilty of this. FI and I only check our mail box once a week because we do everything electronically and we don't get anything important in the mail. I didn't get my cousin's wedding invitation for a month because FI and I forgot to check the mail. I didn't realize until she called to see if we were going to come. ETA: I'm more likely to do an online RSVP or call to RSVP than to send the card back too. I never go to a mail box and it would be something I would easily forget about.

Hahaha. This happened to us when we were collecting RSVP's. We FB messages DH'S cousin about their missing RSVP. Turns out they hadn't even gotten the invite yet because they hadn't checked their mail is over a month. A few days later we finally got their very late response. It was quite funny. In the end, they were able to make it to the wedding.

RebeccaB88 · April 2014

I am always going to assume that an e-vite is indicative of a casual event. Period. Regardless of the 'formality' of the font, etc, it is not a formal form of issuing an invitation. For a come and go housewarming, a casual birthday party, a save the date, that kind of thing, sure, it's fine, as long as you can figure out how to get it past my spam filters (not my problem how you do that, since my physical mailbox unfortunately has no spam filter). I won't see it as a problem, complain, or disregard it. It's still an invitation, but not to a formal event, so I won't treat it as such.

If you're inviting me to anything more than a very casual get together, I expect a printed invitation. This includes weddings, showers, and anything I need to wear something dressier than jeans for.

cmclaire · April 2014

For any formal event, I definitely prefer paper. For more casual things like holiday parties and rehearsal dinners (which are very casual in my neck of the woods) I think e-vites are cute.

jdluvr06 · April 2014

lyndausvi said:

phira said:

I don't care. Really. Especially since there are really nice evite options around (like Glo or Paperless Post).

Assuming all of the proper conventions are followed with the evites (for example, including significant others, which is easy to do with Paperless Post, for example), then I see no difference between an invitation arriving in my physical mailbox and an invitation arriving in my electronic mailbox.

I refuse to open up evites. My aunt's email was hacked and they sent out evites. I saw her name, opened up the email. Got a virus. What a PITA. Since then (a few years ago) I refuse to open an type of evite or ecard. They (and any email not in my contact list) goes directly to my junk mail then deleted after a week or so.

Oh and my husband never checks his regular email. He does check his work one, but doesn't normally give that out for personal reasons. He is so bad I don't even bother sending him things anymore.

Point is if you send us an evite were not going to even know it was even there. I do pick up my paper mail pretty regularly. Not that I get much paper mail, but I do check them often.

We open our paper mail every day. I just usually communicate with people through email.

I also think a lot of it has to do with what people are used to. We're not sending Paperless Post invitations for our wedding because many of our older relatives (although definitely not all of them) do not check their email regularly. However, I'm pretty much connected to my email (work and personal--I have a master inbox for all my email) 24/7, as is my partner. So are our parents, most of our siblings, and the majority of our friends and cousins. And we do evites for a lot of events (birthday parties, my godmother's annual tea party, etc).

I think that eventually, we're going to see a shift towards evites anyway. I think at least Glo (not sure about Paperless Post) gives you the option to send evites to most of the guests and paper invitations to some guests. So, if you were a guest at my wedding, I could send you an invite in the mail, and matching evites would go to other guests.

*stuck in box*

I think we're going to see a shift to evites too.

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