Thoughts on this plan

LadyMillil · April 2014

I was checking out the wedding website for a wedding I am invited to later this year. The ceremony will take place at an outdoor location with no cover available (so no tent, gazebo, etc) then the reception is at a banquet hall. There is a note basically saying that the bride and groom will be married outside. In the event of light rain or cold, you should bring an umbrella or blanket? This seems really inconsiderate to me. I don't really want to get my nice dress and shoes wet, and as some one who frequently has to deal with umbrellas, this seems very problematic. Has any one ever been to an outdoor wedding in the rain? ETA: the ceremony venue is a family members' yard

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

EW. They should provide cover/tents or something. It is their job to properly host you.

My cousin, not very close to him, is getting married in November in Idaho (think cold and snow) and is insisting it is outside. People in my family are refusing to attend.

Sugargirl1019 · April 2014

I have never been to one in the rain.

But I would probably dress accordingly to the forecast. If it was outside, my satin cocktail dress from bcbg isn't probably matching the wedding formality. I would bring an extra pair of ballet flats for the grass, and probably a sweater or maybe a completely different outfit.

The umbrella is interesting as I am imagining folks sitting on benches together each with their own umbrella in someone else's way poking someone.

You may find me in the car during the ceremony if it is storming that bad.

But I would not complain about the bride and grooms hosting.

insertusernamehere · April 2014

Some places don't allow tents to be set up. I'm finding this to be true at many historical locations. Often, the backup indoor location is the same area as your cocktail hour, which creates a mad scramble between the ceremony and cocktail hour. There probably is a backup plan for downpours in place already, but umbrellas don't seem unreasonable for a light mist. I'd feel worse for the bride in a white dress in the mud!

Just playing devil's advocate here.

thesummersky · April 2014

LauraMichael2015 said:

Some places don't allow tents to be set up. I'm finding this to be true at many historical locations. Often, the backup indoor location is the same area as your cocktail hour, which creates a mad scramble between the ceremony and cocktail hour. There probably is a backup plan for downpours in place already, but umbrellas don't seem unreasonable for a light mist. I'd feel worse for the bride in a white dress in the mud! Just playing devil's advocate here.

I can totally see that, but that should probably be something considered when choosing venues.

I've seen brides do their cocktail hour and reception in the same place, and that wasn't so bad.

singinchick13 · April 2014

I would probably bring an umbrella just to say I made the effort, but if I would actually get drenched then I'm with PP camping out in my car. Our venue will be outdoors as well but they do have a covered patio where they can hold our ceremony and accommodate all of our guests with seating should the weather not cooperate.

insertusernamehere · April 2014

Oh absolutely, it's not ideal to not have a rain location. But if you've already booked a contract and just discovered that you a) can't rent a tent if you were told you could or b) the backup location is small/hideous/not going to work, I'd make a call. Would I ask guests to bring umbrellas or cram them into a standing-room only room?

You could also ask the venue to provide umbrellas if they have a no-tent policy! They might already have some if they don't have a rain location.

thesummersky · April 2014

LauraMichael2015 said:

Oh absolutely, it's not ideal to not have a rain location. But if you've already booked a contract and just discovered that you a) can't rent a tent if you were told you could or b) the backup location is small/hideous/not going to work, I'd make a call. Would I ask guests to bring umbrellas or cram them into a standing-room only room? You could also ask the venue to provide umbrellas if they have a no-tent policy! They might already have some if they don't have a rain location.

This is a good idea. If the venue doesn't have some other contingency plan for weather (and as long as they didn't put that responsibility on you in your contract with them), it would probably be in their best interest to do that for you.

lyndausvi · April 2014

The couple should have a backup plan. Period, end of discussion. You have to be one stupid planner to want to have an outdoor ceremony, sign a contract and then figure out a backup plan.

Planning on anything outdoors requires a backup plan.

My outside ceremony had to be moved inside. Umbrellas were little use in the 60+mph wind driven rains we had.

What would I do? Before leaving for the ceremony I would check out the weather. Rain = me skipping the ceremony and going to only the reception.

tammym1001 · April 2014

They should absolutely have a backup plan. That's crazy. Our ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception are all in the same space. We organized it so that everyone will flow smoothly and everyone can enjoy themselves. The only thing we are planning on doing outside is pictures and we have a back up plan just for that because I wouldn't even ask only my bridal party to stand out in the rain for me.

SammiNJonni · April 2014

They need their own backup plan asking guests to bring umbrellas is wrong.

mysticl · April 2014

I was in a wedding in the rain. Well, it was more of a mist. They could have held the ceremony inside but there is a point in the day where you have to make the call. It was all set up for outside and we were at the alter and the ceremony had started when it started to rain. It wasn't bad so we just got through it.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

I'm with lynda. You need to have a weather-contingency plan. If you don't, and it's crappy out, I'll be skipping your ceremony.

misshart00 · April 2014

The backup plan should be at the reception location. And they shouldn't be packing guests into a crowded standing room only place if they already planned chairs for everyone.

LadyMillil · April 2014

I should have added, the ceremony location is a family members' yard, so no reason why a tent can't be rented. As far as I know they have a 2-3 hour unhosted gap, so moving everything to the reception location, which is just a banquet hall with no nearby restaurants or bars, will probably lead to other problems. To attend this wedding I would have to fly in the day before, so I'd be really pissed if I paid all that money to come and then skipped the ceremony because the contingency plan is having guests bring umbrellas.

insertusernamehere · April 2014

Send them a link to a cheap tent rental company, in a "hey I found this affordable rental company" sort of way. Add that there are benefits to having a tent, especially for shade feom the sun for older guests' comfort.

lyndausvi · April 2014

the contingency plan can't be the family's home?

then add in a gap? No secret I don't like gaps, but I do actually get the church vs venue on why some people "need" them.

In this case they do not have that issue. They could pick anytime they want here, so no good reason for a 3 hour gap.

LadyMillil · April 2014

@lyndausvi They guest list is 180, so that rules out the house as a back up.

re: the gap "But everybody does it"

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2014

Traveling in, potential for mud, and a gap? No. I'd skip the ceremony regardless of weather if they're being that unaccommodating. And I NEVER skip the ceremony. I'd probably attend wearing a cocktail dress and rain boots otherwise (rain or shine).

Gerbertmcway · April 2014

Are you sure there will be no tent? Maybe they just want people to be prepared from the wall from the parking area to the reception. Anywho, I was watching an episode of little people big world about their wedding business and the couple got married outside in the pouring rain with no tent - it was a hot (cold) mess. Everyone was soaked. If I were in this situation, I would have probably planned to skip the ceremony, but the rain started after everyone was seated and waiting for the bride to walk in, so I would have been stuck. I surely would not have stayed for the entire reception feeling like a drowned rat.<br>My wedding ceremony is planned to be outside. Our backup plan is to have the ceremony in the reception area. We may have enough space to set up chairs so that our guests won't be sitting at their dinner tables, otherwise that will be the case. It's not ideal but or ceremony will be very short so we don't feel it will be worth our while to rent a tent.

melbenso · April 2014

I have been to one outdoor wedding where the weather didn't cooperate. Basically, it was much colder than they expected. Not freezing, not raining, but unseasonably cold with a wind blowing right off the ocean in Montauk in early October.

The couple went out and bought a bunch of wraps and shawls and offered them to guests as they came in, in case any of the OOT people (like me) hadn't packed warm enough clothes.

It was really appreciated.

melbenso · April 2014

Also, we are planning an outdoor wedding. But our venue offers a guaranteed indoor back up space in case of bad weather. I'd much rather have my ceremony at a gazebo by the lake, but if the weather is bad, I'm not putting my guests (or myself) through that.

lc07 · April 2014

Yea, no. See, even if I bring an umbrella my chair is wet. And if I bring my own blanket to sit on and wipe my chair off, I'm still shivering and can only focus on the fact that I am cold and wet. And that I can't see anything because of the umbrellas in front of me. And now my arm is cramping because I have to hold my umbrella higher than the person next to me so we both fit next to each other and theirs is dripping on me.

I'd go straight to my own cocktail hour.

lc07 · April 2014

@lyndausvi If this ever happens to us as wedding guests, I hope we're at the same wedding. We can tailgate. You know I'm good for bringing a tent, heaters, food, and booze. No matter the time of day.

ETA: Oooh! And maybe we can just dial the radio in to the wedding from the parking lot like a football game.

crunchymamaof2 · April 2014

Does this wedding happen to be in June in Texas?

lyndausvi · April 2014

lc07 said:

@lyndausvi If this ever happens to us as wedding guests, I hope we're at the same wedding. We can tailgate. You know I'm good for bringing a tent, heaters, food, and booze. No matter the time of day.

ETA: Oooh! And maybe we can just dial the radio in to the wedding from the parking lot like a football game.

It's a deal!

I've attended midnight Christmas mass in a parking lot before. It wasn't raining, the church was too full. We were with a good 100 other people. They had speakers so we could hear. Some people were drinking too!

blabla89 · April 2014

I wouldn't want to get married outside in the rain (especially since I'm paying to get my hair done) and I certainly wouldn't subject my guests to that. Besides, it's hard to have fun at a reception if your clothes or shoes are wet.

TBH if the wedding day came around and it was pouring rain, I might just not show up. Yes I know that's terrible. Or I'd show up in a yellow rain coat with rain boots and a giant umbrella.

ETA @cmfarr where/when is the wedding? Is it a time when rain and/or cold can be expected?

RissAnn1970 · April 2014

We would never have asked our friends and family to be uncomfortable for us. Though we picked a venue with gorgeous gardens and were hoping for an outdoor ceremony, we didn't count on it and one of our other requirements was that it also have nice indoor ceremony space - not a dingy shoebox like some venues that hype the outdoor thing.

As it turns out, the day of the wedding our florist called me while I was home doing my makeup to tell me the venue had the chuppah set up outside. I had her put the manager on the phone & made them take it all down & move it inside for her to decorate. It was 55 degrees & though my 400 lb dress & adrenaline would have kept me warm, no way was I doing that to my guests. Not even for 20 minutes.

LadyMillil · April 2014

The wedding is in the fall in Ontario, so there is a good chance of rain, cold or both. The whole plan sounds like they haven't really thought it thru. Sure, an outdoor wedding would be lovely, but if it is raining or cold and you hold the wedding outdoors, you've just put your "perfect wedding vision" before your guests comfort. DH and I would have loved to be married outside, but it was 4C out on our wedding day so we moved the ceremony inside because we didn't want our guests to freeze.

alpacalunch · April 2014

As someone who lives in Ontario, the fall is a bit of a jackass. Anywhere between "wooo beach day!" and "but it's september, why is there so much snow?". Our wedding is in May and as much as I'm hoping for an outdoor ceremony, we've found a venue that can easily do indoor as well.

They need a tent. Minimum. No contingency plan is just plain disrespectful.

blabla89 · April 2014

cmfarr said:

The wedding is in the fall in Ontario, so there is a good chance of rain, cold or both. The whole plan sounds like they haven't really thought it thru. Sure, an outdoor wedding would be lovely, but if it is raining or cold and you hold the wedding outdoors, you've just put your "perfect wedding vision" before your guests comfort. DH and I would have loved to be married outside, but it was 4C out on our wedding day so we moved the ceremony inside because we didn't want our guests to freeze.

Setting the matter of guests' comfort aside for a moment, I'm pretty sure rain or cold would ruin the "perfect wedding vision" regardless. Definitely sounds like they haven't thought it through. Perhaps you could helpfully recommend a tent rental company?

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