We are adulterers so brother dropped out of wedding!

Re: We are adulterers so brother dropped out of wedding!

• LAM524 member

  

  April 2014

  @tortoisebride: Thank you. I really like what you've said. He is very convicted and does struggle with the "fact" he has to be alone for the rest of his life because of his own divorce. Although it may be true that he is projecting, it is so hard for me to believe a sibling would/could have a "misery loves company" attitude/heart. But thats me and my "Mary Poppins" ideal! One that gets me in trouble....heart broken many times.
  
  Although we still havent talked with him nor has he reached out to me, I think I am as good as I will ever get with it all. One exception, we havent told him yet that we would rather him not attend as a guest, so I am very nervous and worried about my mothers reaction to our decision. She has a tendency to not "see" my "side" of things when I take a stance. I have another brother who was suppose to be a groomsman. He went MIA over a year ago, so we did not invite him to wedding (after multiple attempts of contacting him with no response). My mother NATURALLY told me that she hopes that I come to my senses, etc. My senses are very intact regarding the MIA brother..actually both brothers...with the advice of some knotties! More so, Im almost 48 years old...and I dont need or want any more BS in my life! I divorced that!!
  

  
  

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• MrsMack10612 member

  

  April 2014

  photokitty said:

  CrazyCatLady3 said:

  photokitty said:

  HisGirlFriday13 said:

  themuffinman16 said:

  Sorry ifI have offended other PPs, I guess I just don't know the other reasons why someone could get an annulment.  But I still think all religions should recognize divorce. I know far too many people call it quits without trying, but in cases where one person is extremely unhappy, telling people to just accept it seems heartless.

  
  

  I know of no church, the Roman Catholic Church included, who tells people to just 'accept' unhappiness or abuse or anything else.

  That may be true, but they still might not grant the annulment and as a result the divorced person cannot remarry or they do they can no longer participate in all aspects of the Catholic Church.

  
  

  I did not agree with the notion of divorce, until I had to get one. I also assumed the annulment process was just, fair and logical - again until I had to get one. I now know what a flawed process it is and in my experience at least, is slanted once again in the man's favor.

  
  

  I can't understand why any church would make people jump through so many hoops and in some cases shun and/or disenfranchise people who want to participate and fully enter into the faith and the faith community. I attended mass weekly and was a regular lector at my church, until church law said I could not receive communion. What good has that done for me or my parish? All it did was leave me hurt and my parish with one less lector and one less active parishioner. 

  
  

  I'm not attacking you or your (our) faith @HisGirlFriday13 , but I feel the need to share my side. If for no other reason than how alone I felt going through the process...you literally feel like the world's biggest failure and ashamed bc you couldn't make it work, by no fault of you own (at least in my case) with the questions they asked me and the way I was treated by my diocese.

  @photokitty please explain.  Just curious.

  I can pm you with generalizations, but it's a little too personal to plaster on the interwebz

  @photokitty - I can relate to this.  My parents divorced 30+ years ago.  My father had an affair and his Catholic mistress wanted to get married in the Church (what a good Catholic woman - affair with a married man, pre-marital sex and a child out of wedlock - yes, I'm still a little bitter) . My parents were not, nor were they married Catholic. My mother, who never wanted a divorce to begin with, was forced to go through the personally intrusive annulment process.  It broke her heart.  I had Catholic friends tell me as a kid at the time that now I was bastard child. 
  
  Though I have better understanding since going through Catholic pre-cana/pre-marital work with my H (who is Catholic and we got married in the Church), HOW the Church can annul a non-Catholic marriage; I still have a lot of "they've got a lot of nerve" going on in my brain.
  
  
  
  

   

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